Assassin's Creed - Blog Posts

Assassin's creed - Fresh Prince of bel air headcanon

It was 12;01 in the assassin house hold, connor had gotten into a fight with his father yesterday about how his mother, after she had mysterious arrived in the future and decided to let her stay with them. After their heated argument, the other assassins all agreed that it was probably best to stay out of it and just hope they'd sort it out in the morning.

Conner was tossing and turning in his bed for about 3 hours straight, think about the fight he had with his dad. He sighed and decided that maybe he should go and talk with mom for some advice, so he got up and walked out of his room into the hallway to his mother's room.

When connor reach his mother he gave the door two knocks.

Ziio: who is it?

Conner: opens door* hey, mom listen I know it's late but we really need to talk.

Both Ziio and Haytham poke their heads out from under the sheets.

Conner: 0_0

Ziio: makes a nervous smile*

Haytham: 🤨

Conner: AAAAAAAHH!!! MOMMA NOOO!!!

Ziio: 😕 connor-

Conner: AAAH! *walks to the other side of the room* Momma HOo. YOU. HIM. HERE. HOo?? I NEED A MOMENT!

Connor: takes a set on a near by chair* sigh* I'm an adult... I can handle this... sigh* I'm ok... *slowly turns his head back to his parents*

Ziio: Nervously smiles*

Haytham: expressionless*

Conner: MOMMA NOOO!

Haytham: Connor will you keep it down!

Connor turns over at his father with any anger glare in his eyes, he walks over and points at him.

Connor: I'm not ready to talk YOU! yet young man!

Desmond and Altair come rushing into the room.

Desmond: what's going on we heard screaming?!

Ziio and Haytham: ...

Altair and Desmond: 0_0

Ezio rushes into the room.

Ezio: what's this a pajama party? Scotch over!

Ezio tries to run towards the bed, but Altair grabbed him by his thin t-shirt and pulled him back.

Rebecca and Shaun then came rushing in as well.

Shaun: what's going on? *sees Ziio and Haytham* ... Ew. *walks back to his room*

Rebecca: hey~

Haytham: ...

Connor: OK EVERYBODY OUT! I WANT YOU ALL OUT OF HERE!

Everyone walks out of the room and back to their rooms.

Connor: turns over to his parents* takes a deep breath* ok mom, I just want to let you know... that I am hurt and I don't think, that mothers are supposed to do... what... OH MY GOD I JUST GOT A MENTAL PICTURE!!!

Connor: hold both hand firmly on his head* GET IT OUT!!! *starts running back to his room while freaking out.

I hope you enjoy this headcannon of assassin's creed of bel air. I was originally gonna do Ezio, his mom, and his uncle mario but I found this version of it a little more funnier.

By the way I dare some on Tumblr to either draw this headcanon as a comic or animation, cause I wanna see that!

I also I'm might do more of these, except they'll all just be headcanons of duccio being thrown out of the house like Jazz everytime he did something stupid.

Duccio: AAAH! *lands face first on the yard*

Alexios vs. Siren head

Our journey starts with Desmond, Altair, Ezio, Alexios, and kassandra were lost in the woods hunting for siren head. Ok so long story short the gang were all sent out on a mission for a piece of Eden that had mysteriously vanished off raider in the woods. It was soon revealed that siren head had taken the piece of Eden, so their mission is to find siren head then fine the piece of Eden.

Desmond: ok guys stay close and quiet. We don't want siren head to find us.

Altair: I still don't understand as to how this creature even is real.

Ezio: I don't care if this creature is real or not, it creeps me out either way.

Kassandra: oh don't be such a baby Auditore, the sooner we find the piece the sooner we can leave.

Alexios: Hehe, I just want to hunt down that monstrous creature and have it's siren head on my night stand!

Desmond: Ssh! Alexios keep it down! Or siren head might hear you!

Altair: this is f@#$ing ridiculous, how do we even know this thing is even real-

*tornado siren goes off in the distance*

Desmond: guys...

*heavy footsteps come marching closer*

Ezio: uh oh...

*siren head emerges from the tall pine trees*

Kassandra: SIREN HEAD!!!

Desmond: everybody run!!!

They all start running for there lives, except for Alexios.

Alexios held his ground as siren head now stood a foot away from Alexios.

Desmond and the other stop when they saw Alexios standing in place.

Desmond: BRO ALEXIOS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!

Alexios glared at siren head as he saw that siren head had the shroud of Eden rapped around its lamppost like neck.

Kassandra: BROTHER DON'T DO IT! ITS NOT WORTH LOOSING YOUR LIFE!! WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY!!!

Alexios continued to stare the creature down as siren head did the same. Siren head then screeched a might roar that made even a deaf man's ears bleed. But Alexios was not having it.

Altair: oh boy...

Alexios:... *takes a deep breath* NOW LISTEN HEAR YOU F@#$ING lanky stick lookin @$$!!! Bro! Have you even eaten! Have you even eaten! Bro! Your not dummy THICC your dummy STICK ya skinny F@#$ing b@#$!

Alexios: *pulls out some beef jerky* You need this more then me DON'T YA!!! COME EAT IT! YA LIGHT POST PIECE OF SH*T!!! F@#$ YOU!!!

Desmond: 0_0

Altair: 0_0

Ezio: 0_0

Kassandra: 0_0

Siren head: 😥

Desmond: oh geez

Siren head goes and cries by a tree.

Desmond: ya- ya didn't half to do him like that Alexios.

Another headcanon inspired by the boys from joshdubs. And as always I'll have a video link below. 👌 and a thank you to Trevor Henderson for creating the infamous siren head.

Altair: If you could go back in time to undo any moment, what would it be?

Malik: this conversation.

If assassin's creed was star wars

Altair climbed up a rocky cliff and stood high and mighty as he saw Haytham just down below. Both with their hiden light sabers activated and light sabers in hand.

Altair: It's over Haytham! I have the high ground!

Haytham: You underestimate my POWER!

Altair: don't try it!

Haytham leaps up and onto a rocky plat form them does one final leap before flipping a little to close towards Altair.

Altair then uses his hiden blade to stab Haytham in the gut then with the light saber he sliced off his legs and left arm. Haythem screamed in pain before he started tumbling down the rocky cliff close to the lava flow.

Altair retreated his blade and saber and looked down at Haythem, while Haytham looked up at him from below and ever slowly tried to crawl closer to the cliff.

Altair: YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! It was said that you would destroy the Templars, not join them!

Haytham began to crawl even closer, yet he was still so far out of reach.

Altair: Bring balance to the Force of Eden... NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS!

Altair turned his back away from Haytham as he continued to try and crawl to the top of the cliff. Altair picked up Haytham's light saber and started walking away, but not before taking one last glance at what has become of young Haytham.

Haytham: I HATE YOU!

Altair: you were my brother, Haytham.

Altair: I loved you.

The best ending Alternet ending

Altair: it's over Haytham! I have the high ground!

Haytham: don't underestimate my power!

Altair: Are you dumb or just f***ing special? I've been training you for 13 long-@$$ years and you still think having some sort of magical bull**** power is going to save your three little b*** limbs when I chop you up like Darth Robert? Not only am I more skilled then you, I'm on the MOTHER****ING HIGH GROUND! Have you ever read the art of war?! it says in bold "do not try and f*** with the high ground, Haytham." This is honestly the reason why you're not a master assassin. Your ligitamently dumber then sand and more of a whiny emotional sh*t then your partner shay. Also you were my brother Haytham, I loved you.

Personally I like the last ending better.

By the way that last one is a reference to this x

My life is now complete

Finaly I have my Altair boi!

I literally had stayed up till 2 in the morning just to get him.... totally worth it! I REGRET NOTHING!

My latest TikTok Video

I decided to do a draw 5 of your favorite characters from five different fandoms if you'd like to do this challenge yourself fill free to do so and if you'd like to send your art to my blog you can send your submissions as well

Day 1: Assassin's creed

My boi what has my friend done to you!!!

Ya so funny story. Two of my friends and I were playing super smash bros ultimate three days ago and we were looking at some of the mii fighters that people made and we happen to stumble a'pon the meme able Small-taïr and both of my friends know how much I love Altaïr from assassin's creed and one of my friends thought it be funny to find an image someone drew online and send this to me...

Poor Altaïr hasn't caught a break since 1165

Random headcanon time

(Ok I watched a tick tock that went down kind of like this... just trust me)

It was a normal Wednesday afternoon Desmond didn't have work that day and was chilling on the couch with his ancestors (more specifically Altair, Connor, ezio and Jacob) Shaun, Malik, and leonardo Da Vinci. They were watching T.V. (Spongebob cause why not) when bayek was helping Aya with laundry, rebecca having to help teach them how to use a washing machine.

All of a sudden the T.V. switched channels for breaking news.

Jacob: what the bloody hell?

Connor: what happened to the T.V. Desmond.

Desmond: chill out guys it's only the news, they usually do this when they have exciting or horrible news. Most of the time it's uh... usually bad.

Leonardo: oh dear.

Ezio: don't worry I'm sure there's a chance its it's not all that bad amico.

News caster: good evening fokes this is channel 2 news, I'm here today with breaking news. I'm here live in luxury Egypt for a shocking discovery.

Altair: hey Bayek isn't that where you lived thousands of years ago?

Bayek had walked behind the couch with a basket of laundry in his hands as his wife Aya walked behind him with clean folded towels.

Bayek: hm? Oh yes indeed. Aya look it's our home in Egypt.

Aya: oh yes, wonder why the news is talking about Egypt?

Malik: maybe they found another piece of Eden or something of your past?

Leonardo: another piece of Eden, *gasp* how exciting!

Ezio: you get excited about a lot of things amico.

Jacob: Ah, I don't get how you could get excited about the pieces of Eden. If you ask me there just a waist of time.

Shaun: Ssh! let's here what they say.

Shaun turns up the volume on the T.V.

Dave: More then 20 sealed coffins discovered near luxury Egypt.

In that moment Bayek and Aya their eyes widened in shock.

Malik: well it's no piece of Eden but I guess its something.

Jacob: Wait so the T.V decided that the boring news would be better then spongebob?! Boo!

Bayek and Aya then both drop everything in their hands in shock, once they did everyone turned over to them.

Desmond: Bayek? Aya? You guys... ok?

*Music in back ground intensifies*

Bayek: PUT THAT SH*T BACK!!!!!

Everyone quickly jerked back the minute he shouted.

Bayek: THIS IS NOT THE YEAR!!!

Desmond: jesus christ! What the hell Bayek?!

*Bayek starts hyperventilating*

Jacob: bloody hell what's wrong with you?!

Bayek: SHAUN GET THE ASSASSIN'S VAN STARTED AND GET EVERYONE IN THE VAN RIGHT NOW!!! AYA GET SENU AND LETS GO!!!

Shaun: why?! What do we need to go to Egypt for?!

Bayek: you don't understand! Those tombs are CURSED!!!

Aya: Bayek's right those tombs are SUPER CURSED!!!

Altair: what do you mean by cursed?

Bayek: it was said that a family shared the same barel ground thus explaining the 20 tombs, put a curse on there own graves before they passed.

Aya: and it was said that who ever disturbs the died of the 20 tombs of Luxury Egypt would bring terrible darkness and destruction of hell across the globe for a whole year!

Ezio: Dio mio, that can't be good!

Shaun: oh come on guys everyone knows curses aren't real.

Leonardo: I'm with Shaun on this one. Curses in Egypt technically aren't real. Its actually all the ancient air and germs that have been sealed away is the tombs for over thousands of years causing the sudden illnesses by exposure from inside the tombs.

Shaun: thank you leonardo.

Connor: I don't know Shuan maybe we should listen to Bayek. Curses are no joke.

Jacob: jokes jokes joke-

Altair: shut up Jacob!

Jacob: ... *pouts*

Desmond: really Shuan? You don't believe in curses, after everything we went threw together, you still don't believe in curses?

Shaun: Desmond everything that has literally happened to us can be scientifically explained and has a perfectly good logical explanation for all of it.

Desmond: what about me coming back to life?

Shaun: ... shut up Desmond.

Desmond: whatever.

Malik: either way, what can we do about?

Jacob: Aah I'm sure it'll be fine, right Shaun.

Shaun: exactly. Besides the year 2019 is almost over, what's the worst that could happen.

...

And that's how the year 2020 became an absolute nightmare of a year for the entire world.

This is why you listen to your elders kids it might just save the world.

Ok so I decided to do something different and so what if Desmond taught his ancestors how to play undertale and decide to let them pick what route to pick first.

Altair: Altair did genocide first, then neutral, and then pacifist last after words he just tried to find all the secrets in the game that he could find, leaving no stone unturned. he's more interested in the lore then the characters in the game. He claims that he doesn't have a favorite character but he secretly likes sans. Desmon was the only one who knew this little secret of his, he found out when he saw Altair looking up San's theme song (megalovania) on his phone (that Shaun bought him) The reason why he never told anyone was because Altair threatened to kill him if he told. Altair knows sans is practically everyone's favorite character, but he didn't care, he just liked sans because he can relate to him in some ways and he likes his theme song, the only thing he doesn't like about sans is his annoying jokes. When he encountered flowey for the first time... lets just say he didn't take flowey's happiness pellets... the first 100 of them.

Ezio: ezio did flirt pacifist route first, he would charm and flirt his way threw fights. His favorite fight was with Mettaton both pacifist and genocide, sometimes the others would catch him doing some of the poses Mettaton would do in the game, in his room. He likes to think that his friendship with leonardo was just like Mettaton and Alphys's friendship. The hardest fight he had to do was the end of the genocide route with sans. He'd been stuck on that fight for hours, refusing to turn off the computer to take a break from playing the game, after 2 hours and a half, with some help from Desmond and Altair, he finally beat the route.

Connor: connor did pacifist route first. When connor got to snowdon and found out he could pet the dog characters in the game, let's just say he spent hours petting lesser dog, he petted him so much he actually managed to break threw the screen... don't ask how it happened... it just... happened. Connor's favorite fight was with the animals except on genocide, it pained him so much to do genocide and fight the animals. He like all the cool animal characters in the game, but his most favorite character was toreil (goat mom!) When Connor meet toreil for the first time he'd think about his own mother. It almost broke his little heart to do genocide and kill off all the animal characters in the game. Connor never finshed genocide because of it. His second favorite character was tammy, he even help tammy get to college. Just like everyone else he found flowey most displeasing at first, both him and Altair didn't trust flowey the first time they saw him. nothing is true everything is permitted.

Desmond: Desmond did neutral run first, mainly because he couldn't decide which route to do first, later on he did pacifist then genocide last. Desmond would play the game like any other person would, his favorite character was frisk cause he could relate to frisk having to save the underground and be forced to make the decision based on other people's choices. He liked having his say in things and having his own choices. He also had a second favorite character which was sans, mainly cause of the memes about him and the jokes sans would tell in the game. He also thought the whole time travelling prank sans did was kind of funny and was super excited to see sans in smash. (as a mii fighter)

Kassandra and Alexios: Kassandra and Alexios both did genocide first just to get a challenge from the game, then they did neutral for the flowey boss fight. The spartan twins favorite character and fight was with undyne both genocide and pacifist, but both had a meager headaches fighting sans. They saw sans as their biggest challenge yet, to them sans was an enemy they must defeat. they spent weeks and nights trying to beat sans. Eventually they beat sans and as a victory they both shouted so loud that everyone in the house heard it... GET DUNKED ON SANS! at the same time together.

Edward: Edward didn't care which one to started off with (neutral), all he cared was get as much money in the game as possible. He even looked up a tutorial on how to hack his way into getting all the money in the game. He had so much money he bought the tammy armor on his first run. His favorite character was undyne as well as her fights. His least favorite character was chara cause just like flowey and everyone in the house chara. creeped. him. out.

Jacob: Jacob did pacifist first then neutral, he never bothered finishing genocide. The reason being because he was never able to beat sans, Jacob spent a month and a half before giving up and accepting defeat. Jacob loved playing pacifist run, he loved all the goofy characters and all, but his most favorite characters were the skela-font bros he pictured him and evie as like the skeleton brothers, more specially papyrus was his favorite, he loved how papyrus was always goofy and fun loving, his favorite papyrus moment was when he jumped out of undyne's house window. He even did the stunt himself, let's just say Shaun was pissed at him for a week, making Shaun having to be the one to replace the busted window. His second favorite was sans just because he told a lot of good jokes jokes jokes🎶

Evie: evie also did pacifist first mainly cause Jacob baged her to do pacifist first. And she did not regret doing pacifist first she enjoyed every moment in the pacifist run. She loved the music, the characters, the story line of the game, it was amazing. Evie also did neutral and genocide too but it would never top pacifist for her. Her favorite character was Asriel. She found his goat form so cute and felt so bad for him, making flowey less creepy and scarey to her.

Arno: did neutral first. When he found out about the poor six children that fell in the underground he felt bad. Seeing how they help him made him feel hopeful for the young generation and felt like there was hope for humanity. he felt determined. He then did pacifist run. His favorite character was muffet, he loved the music muffet had in her battle and he admired the fact that she specialized in baking, it reminded him of the pastries from France. When he fought her in genocide run and saw her death for some reason it reminded him of Elsie... everyone in the house had to help cheer him up that day.

Haytham: Haytham did neutral first genocide then pacifist. His favorite character is Asgore. Haytham honestly agrees with Asgore having to make sacrifices to get the six human souls, he had to do what he must to set the monsters free. He mainly did neutral because he didn't want to be friends with anyone but also didn't want to kill anyone. When he did the flowey fight he was disturbed and was scard for life. He had no problem doing genocide but everytime he killed an animal based character (especially dogs) his son connor would give him murder eyes for everyone he killed. When he finshed genocide connor forced him to do pacifist just to make it up... and he did... eventually after some father and son punching talking.

Bayke: Bayke did pacifist first then neutral. He never did genocide cause he did like the idea of killing innocent monsters. He got a little teary eyed when he finshed neutral run see how the monsters he met in the underground were still doing good and miss the human child that they had befriended and he felt bad for the six human children that saved his life. When he was playing undertale for the first time he let his hawk Senu watch him play on his sholder. His favorite character is sans and monster kid. He liked sans for the funny puns he made and monster kid cause he was such a sweet kid and admired his determination to help defend the human child frisk.

Clay: clay did pacifist first then neutral. He never did genocide run, it reminded him to much of the suffering that he has seen and experienced as a test subject. He played undertale from inside of Shaun's computer. His favorite character is W.D. Gaster because just like gaster he was stuck alone in a void like environment left to watch as the world moves on with out him...

GASTER: 🖐 ♐♏♏● 🔼□🔷️🔳 🔲♋♓◼

Bonus

In the assassin house hold

Altair, Ezio, connor, and Desmond were sitting on the couch watching TV while shaun sat at the dinning room table working on his computer while rebecca sat across from him listening to music. Evie had just came walking into the living room and sat on the ground in front of the couch.

Evie: what are you guys up to?

Desmond: watching tiger king on Netflix.

Connor: I hate this show. This guy and his crew are just hurting innocent animals for fun with no reason behind this act what so ever.

Ezio: ya Leonard would not approve of this show at all.

Altair: ... where's your brother at?

Evie: oh he's playing that game Desmond showed us.

Altair: which one?

Evie: undertale I believe.

Desmond: still trying to beat genocide run ay?

Evie: *sigh* ya, still trying to beat that skeleton in the genocide run.

Altair: that fight was to easy, it took me an hour and a half to beat it.

Ezio: it's been almost a month and a half, he's never gonna beat it.

Connor: didn't you also struggle with the sans fight too? And didn't you ask Altair and Desmond had to help you beat it.

Ezio: ... shut up connor- and hey! Eventually I did beat sans on my own thank you every much!

A sudden shout could be heard from up stairs. Everyone had paused what they were doing as a sudden sound of loud running foots steps came rushing down the stairs.

Jacob came ran down to the living room with a black laptop that had the assassin's creed syndicate symbol on it.

The next thing they knew Jacob slammed the laptop onto the coffee table next to the couch. Surprisingly it didn't break on impact. And at the top of his lungs he shouted so loud that the entire house heard him shout.

Jacob: GREAT! GOOGLY MOOGLY IT'S ALL GONE TO SH*T!!!

Jacob then threw one of his throwing knives at the living room window, shattering it to pieces and with no hesitation he yeeted himself out the window.

Jacob: NEEEEAY!!!

Jacob landed face first onto the grass of their front lawn. Everyone on the couch including evie had stood up the minute he jumped out the window. Rebecca slowly removed her earbuds out from her ear and Shaun slowly closing his laptop. everyone's jaws dropped in that moment.

Soon everyone in the house had heard the commotion going on from their rooms and came rushing down stairs to investigate, upon seeing what Jacob had done their jaws had dropped as well.

Shaun: ... *deep in hale* ... JACOB WHAT THE FU-

If assassin's creed characters played undertale | part 1 | coming soon |

Wow you people actually like the last post I made about the assassin's creed characters being the boys from joshdub's YouTube page and it has the most likes I have ever seen so taking it as an indication you people want more of this I will deliver so here you go!

Somewhere in the north of the Pacific Ocean. Ezio, Desmond, Altair, and Connor were lost at sea on a raff that was just barely able to hold all four of them. Altair was tied to a wooden pole in the middle of the raft as to prevent him from drowning in the water. Desmond sat at the edge of the raft with his feet in the water. Ezio and connor were both holding on to one side of the raft in the water to keep it from drifting off track. they had been a drift for about 2 hours, spirits were already at a low as to their rescue when ezio had an idea to get them back up again.

Ezio: *starts humming the mighty jungle* in the ocean the mighty ocean the... Italian swims to night~🎶

*Light chuckling can be heard from the others*

Ezio: in the ocean~🎶

Connor joins in: the mighty ocean the Italian swims to night~🎶

Ezio, connor, and Desmond: in the Ocean the mighty ocean THE ITALIAN SWIMS TONEAUGHT~🎶

Desmond and connor: Yaaa~🎶

Altair: Ba heeeheee heee~🎶

Ezio: spaghetti al pomodoro~🎶

*everyone starts laughing while Altair just chuckles*

In Abstratego's office building elevator.

Jacob: *doing the orange justice dance* no no don't touch me there. this is my no no square no no don't touch me there this is my no no square~🎶

*elevator door opens*

*Maxwell, shay, Haytham are standing there with their swords and guns up at Jacob*

Jacob: no no-

Jacob: .... No no don't-

*Maxwell tries to pull Jacob out of the elevator but Jacob jerks back into the elevator*

Jacob: Whoa whoa whoa! I am sick of you disrespecting my NO NO SQUARE!! this elevator! is my no no square.

Jacob: *pushes button to the first floor*

*door closes*

Jacob: no no don't touch me there this is my no no square~🎶

Maxwell, shay and Haytham are left standing there confused and slightly disturbed.

Now in space for some reason...

Desmond: now that we're in space we should be safe from the virus.

Shaun: hey Desmond somethings wrong with the wifi it's not working.

Desmond: what you...

*Everyone sees Jacob playing on his tablet*

Jacob: yay now with this wifi I can get all~ the battle passes.

Desmond: *grabs Jacob's tablet and Yeats it to the other side of the room*

Jacob: MY BATTLE PASS!!

*Jacob runs over to the other side of the room to get it*

Desmond: which one of you idiots gave him the wifi password? What was the wifi password?

Altair: I thought it was hide your kids, hide your wifi?

Desmond: *snickers*

Shaun: wait Ezio weren't you in charge of the wifi password for the ship?

Ezio: ya I thought it was *Italian gibberish* 695?

Desmond: what does that translate to?

Ezio: it doesn't...

Desmond: I distinctly remember it was Shaun's job to come up with the password.

Shaun: ok yes it was my job to set up the wifi password. When I was setting it up Jacob may or may not have looked over my shoulder when I was setting it up, but the password was-

jacob: *tablet in had* JACOB SUCKS 69!!! HAHAHAHA! HEEHEEE!

*Jacob rund out of the room while playing fortnite on the tablet*

Altair: Jacob get back here!

Desmond, shaun and ezio: Jacob!!

Jacob: I'm going to buy the battle pass~!

Desmond: Jacob get your @$$ back here!

Jacob: IM IN SECOND CIRCLE BOYS! just 32 people left! I'm going to get a victory royal!!

*they catch up to Jacob and they fight over the tablet and get it away from Jacob's hands*

Jacob: NOO MY BATTLE PASS!!!

Desmond: this hurts me more then it hurts you Jacob. Tase him!!

Altair: *tases Jacob*

Jacob: AAAAAAH!

3 minutes of tasing later

Desmond: he's going to be out for a bit. He's going to be perfectly-

Altair: STOP RESISTING!!!!

*Altair starts shooting at Jacob some a lot*

Altair: STOP RESISTING!!!

Everyone: WHOA!

*Ezio and sean try to pull him away for Jacob*

Ezio: stop!!

Shaun: CALM DOWN Altair!!

Desmond: CHILL OUT DUDE!!!

*shaun and Ezio had both Altair's arms and push him against a wall as they yell and scream at Altair trying to get him to stop*

Altair: He is resisting!

Desmond: hold him back guys! hold him back!

Altair: He's resisting... *sobs* he's resisting... *sobs*

Desmond: Altair?

Altair: *sobs*

Shaun: Altair what's wrong?

Altair: *takes deep breaths in and out while still sobbing a bit*

Altair: I can't help it, when I see someone just... RESISTING... it just reminds me of my childhood...

Desmond: hey it's ok Altair.

Ezio: just relax.

Shaun: you'll be ok.

*Jacob wakes up*

Jacob: g-guys guys!

Ezio: Jacob!

Desmond: Jacob?

Jacob: Whoa! Whys he crying?

*Silence for a moment*

Altair charges at Jacob at full force.

Desmond, ezio, Shaun: NO NO ALTAIR! STOP!

Jacob: whoa Altair we can play together! Look it's two player. *shows tablet*

Altair: *pulls out gun and starts shooting at Jacob*

Jacob: AAAAAH! NOT AGAIN AAAAAH!!

Desmond: NO!

Ezio: ALTAIR STOP!!

2 minutes of shooting later

Desmond: oh no you just shot him like 500 times! Does anyone know CPR?

Everyone: ....

Ezio: Ah no...

Ok look I know nobody asked for more of this.... I was bord... have fun with more of this dumb stuff 👌

Ok so I had a dumb idea so what if some of the Assassin's creed characters were the YouTubers from Joshdubs and if you don't know what I'm talking about I'm add a link.

Altair: hello there and welcome to Altair's cooking show extravaganza.

Altair: now here we have a middle eastern potato *grabs gernade* now what you want to do is just slowly cut in the middle of it as to not get the detonator- *click*

Altair: oh sh*t uh uh APPETIZERS!

Alexios: Ooo appet- *explodes in the middle of the door way* AAAAAH!

Desmond: haha!

All the of Desmond's assassin ancestors and Shaun have infiltrated Abstratego to save Alexios with each of them having guns with them.

Desmond: Ree- I'm mean Alexios!

Alexios: *autotuned voice* WHat dO YOu WAant?

Desmond: Alexios we're here to save you!

Alexios: WHat Do YOu f**king MEaN save me I am perfect- *Jacob gets a little closer to him*

Alexios: GEt ThE F**k Away FRom ME!

Jacob: *shuffles back*

Alexios: Put THe f**king guns dOwn or I'm gOnNA to pull the GrEnADe!

Desmond: ok everyone put your guns down!

Alexios: *pulls grenade pin* Uh Oh I JUsT PuLlED the GERNAAAADE!

Desmond: haha!

Everyone: *backs away from Alexios*

Alexios: *holds grenade out* OOOOO You BeTTeR STAY AWAY~

Altair: *throws small plastic bottle*

Alexios: Whoo THe F**k threw THat PLaSTic I WILL STABE YOU!! SKSKSK SAVE THE TURTLES!!!

Alexios: PRASE A LOOOOOOOONE! *Explodes*

Desmond: OOOOH!

Altair: Allright gentlemen, I'm not going to lie to you, we are in some serious sheeet. The zombies are knocking on our door step but I think what really ticks me off the most is-

Alexios: *slaps Altair in the face so hard he passes out while Alexios rees super loudly*

Shaun: holy sh*t! You killed him!

Desmond: *laughs in the back ground*

Alexios was placed in a hole that was sealed shut while reeing in the sealed hole in the ground.

Altair: I have seen the rings of stare, I've walked across the gates of Dacuba... I-I don't have an answer for this.

Alexios: *escapes the hole*

Altair: this is why you get your kids vaccinated.

Alexios: my mom fully vaccinated me... wait a minute. *a hole threw time and space opens up to ancient Greece*

Alexios: MOM DID YOU VACCINATE ME! WHEN I WAS YOUNG!

*mom responds back*

Alexios: OH OK THANKS I GUESS IM GONNA F**KING DIE NOW!

*Desmond and shaun laugh in the background*

*portal closes*

Shaun: so what did she say?

Alexios: so uh hmm, I have about 5 seconds to live now, I love you all and-

*Alexios faints*

Shaun: what? WHAT THE F**K JUST HAPPENED?!?

Desmond: h-he died he got herpes.

Altair: does this mean I'm replacing Alexios?

Shaun: ya

Desmond: ya ya ya. Hold on, were you vaccinated?

Shaun: were you?

Altair: no I was vaccinated, but now I gotta learn how to ree

*Altair clears his throat*

Altair: Ahm... *makes a serious face* reeee

Alexios: *rises back up* Do I smell, a motherf***ing challenge. You thik you could take. my. throne!

*Alexios gets up in Altair's face*

Altair: it pretty easy when it's so damn small!

Alexios: Well no sh*t I'm f**king fat!

Shaun, desmond, Altair: wait what?

Desmond: t-that's not how it works.

Alexios: I challenge you to a f**king ree off c***t!

*Alexios and Altair clear their throats*

Alexios: REEEEEEEE!

Altair: reeee

Alexios: REEEEEEEEE!

Altair: reeeeeeee reeeee

If you guys have any better ideas then this you can ask or if you want more of this... ask or if you just never want to see this again.... don't ask... ya =)

New ask blog not: this is luna_ studios_ is a whole separate blog on it's own.

Happy birthday Altair!

I cordially invite you to the second Assassin's Creed 1 Appreciation Week! A whole week of AC1 love starting on the game's 15th anniversary

welcome

to the AC1 week 2022 masterpost! reblogs are appreciated!

INFO

Dates: 13-19 November 2022

Please tag all AC1 week content with #AC1week -- that’s the primary tag that we will be checking!

We won’t be reblogging NSFW posts

Don’t worry about deadlines or not being able to make it on time; we will be reblogging any late posts too!

If we miss your post after the end of the day, leave us a message so we can reblog it! 

You don’t have to do the whole week to join! You can do just 1 day, or however many suits your fancy! (and feel free to combine prompts!)

Contribute however and with whatever you like! Art, writing, graphics, headcanons, meta -- the only rule is it needs to be related to AC1/ AC1 characters!

PROMPTS

eagle

eden

blood

history

enemy

alliance

home

Hoping you can join us this November!!

If you have any questions, please feel free to drop an ask here!

(banner by @stealingpotatoes)

Is it a law that every Assassin's Creed game needs a section that plays like absolute ass???

I'm playing Liberation and trying to navigate around the Bayou is like pulling teeth. Can't walk through bushes, climbing the trees is driving me nuts, I accidentally parallel parked a canoe into a corner and couldn't get it free.

I swear there was a similar "why do you control like this???" Section in 3.

Sometimes the games will feel SO good. Jumping, following a path, running seamlessly. Sometimes I want to bang my head against the wall. I loved 3 to pieces and I want to love Liberation too but good lord the controls are rough