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Autonomy - Blog Posts

1 year ago

I wish age gap discourse hadn't spiraled the way it has because I want there to be a safe space to say "Men in their 40s who date 25 year olds aren't predators, they're just fucking losers"


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1 year ago

disabled people have talked already about how inappropriate it is to touch or grab their mobility aids. but less often i think do people know how to act if they were asked to hold, retrieve, or touch someone's aid (such as crutches or canes as these are the aids i have used and am familiar with)

being friends, family, or partners with a disabled person doesn't grant permission to touch their aids at any time. furthermore having permission to touch an aid - to hold it, pick it up, or retrieve it etc - doesn't give permission to touch or play with them as you please. while keeping in mind that different people's boundaries will vary, here are some things not to do with someone mobility aid:

don't fiddle, stim, or play with it

don't wave it or swing them around

don't hold it by the handle the owner uses to utilize it

do not use the device

do not "test it out"

do not lean your weight on it

[in the case of crutches] do not use them to hop or otherwise take your feet off the ground for fun

try not to drop them or make them unclean

do not adjust any settings

do not use them as a weapon or play-weapon

do not walk immediately behind the air user/out of sight

try not to flip them upside down

what you should do instead:

return the aid immediately when asked. no delays because you were not done with them

hold the aid(s) upright, out of the way from other people by the main body

ask before touching or negotiate times when it is okay to grab without asking (such as if they have been dropped or are falling)

give the aid user increased space and distance to use them safely

try to make sure you aren't forcing an aid user to walk on a sloped path (such as on the pavement/sidewalk)

most importantly, don't take someone's boundaries around their mobility device personally, regardless of how close you two are. disabled people deserve autonomy over the things that support and supplement their body functions just as much as their own body.


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