Chuuya Bsd - Blog Posts

chuuya nakahara is the type of man that if i was in war i would stick a polaroid of him on the side of my plane before we all carpet bombed the fuck out of each other like madmen

Clears Throat. Hello Everyone. I made this presentation instead of working.

soukoku, kunikidazai, sigzai... can we stop letting quality men be victimized by the tragic phenomenon that is dazai osamu 💔💔💔

(they should form a support group and kiss each other)

soooo uhh aside from the current chuuya + soukoku requests, I've been wondering whether i should write a part 2 of poetry in motion tumblr link here but this time continued in the ADA. the dynamic will remain fairly the same (can be read as platonic or romantic). the ending led up to it so i thought it would be fitting to write a follow up and after exams i might have the energy to post a little more + continue my fyodor series.

also have been thinking of eventually making a taglist (hopefully??? i'm sort of new to posting fics on tumblr)

chuuya fic wip ♥️

i think i got around six chuuya requests y now so requests are closed again ! <3

yall PLEASE give me chuuya requests (yes it says requests closed on the blog but i specifically need chuuya asks </3) soukoku, hcs or full on x reader, it doesn't matter i just wanna write more chuuya <3

this is NOT a joke i'm DESPERATE!!

updates: req are closed now for all!

i like to think chuuya's eyes do the cat thing where if you look at them in the dark they look freakishly red instead of blue

upside down chuuya with terrifying blue flash eyes for the realest bat vibes

i can't art for shit so i made this on my phone with my sausage ass fingers

drunk walk home ; soukoku

synopsis : dazai osamu's last night before he leaves for good— his last night with the only one who has ever truly seen him.

author's note : my first time writing soukoku!! i hope this isn't too ooc, god knows i tried. a bit rushed towards the end because i really should study instead (and i'm not <3) read on ao3

In the middle of the night, the only lights on are the ones near the port. Flickering street lights, late offices and the glow of distant bars; artificial stars dotting the bay city. The neon colours bleed into each other once again, burning into Dazai’s vision. Everything seems slowed, as if he was struggling to catch up with a reality that was far faster than his alcohol addled mind could keep up with. The occasional auburn blur was the only thing that reassured him that his current drinking buddy was still following along, despite being near the edge of a stupor.

Stumbling through the roads and the night marketplaces, Dazai attempted to find the shortcut to Chuuya’s home, a route he knew like the back of his hand. Well, usually. Currently, he's taken atleast three wrong turns. Chuuya’s no more helpful, considering he insisted on taking the shorter way back. They took a bit too long to realize that the main road would've been shorter, but what more can anyone expect from two absolutely drunken fools trying their level best to get home. Chuuya blinks, wondering where the hell he had left his bike. He parked it somewhere, well, obviously, but when he got back his beloved bike was nowhere in the parking lot, and after a few minutes of searching it was painfully clear to him that he's going to have to try again when he can actually walk straight. He's gonna regret all those tequila shots later in the morning, but there were just some problems wine can't drown.

That is exactly why the both of them end up in this situation every time, isn't it? The lure of relief was too hard to resist, even though they both would much rather drink with anyone than each other. Leaning his arm on Chuuya’s shoulder, much to the shorter man’s chagrin, Dazai stumbled through the narrow street. The fluorescent signs that lined this road were rendered hazy by the smoke that seemed to perpetually linger in the air, and the path itself was free of any pedestrians. Empty? Good. They hardly needed trouble at this hour, not when they both barely had the coordination to tell left from right. Even with their best attempt at being vigilant, Chuuya could only manage to note how the color of his friend’s eyes seemed to mellow into a honey like hue under the glow of a signboard. An artificial glow that, for a few moments, made him look a little more alive. Even as he pushes the thought out of his head, a strange disappointment gnaws at his heart. Like he should have stared a little longer, to remember it.

All the while, Dazai tried to hold up both their weight, even though it was quickly becoming a futile attempt; arm around Chuuya’s waist, fingers curled into the fabric of the waistcoat to make sure they both didn't just topple over one another. It's not like it hasn't happened before, but he doesn't particularly fancy another night passed out over this slug in a nameless alley. Been there, done that.

“You're surprisingly heavy for such a short guy, you know, slug?”

“What the fuck did you just call me, bastard?!”

Dazai gives his best performance of a weary sigh. “Now you're hard of hearing, too? Slug.” As if to emphasize, he spells out the word in a singsong manner. “s-l-u-g!! That clear enough for you?”

“…I think I’m gonna kill you.” Chuuya spat out, trying to not grind his teeth from the sheer annoyance this waste of bandages caused him. “I hope you get the worst hangover tomorrow. I hope you're sick for days.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, while Dazai held him up straight.

“We're both getting killer hangovers, dumbass.”

“It was your idea to go drinking!!”

“You know damn well your ass can't hold your liquor. Lightweight!”

“I ain't no fucking lightweight, I kept up just fine!”

“You gave up after the second goddamn round, slug. Now get off me, I think my arm’s going to break from your heavy ass.”

Chuuya let up a little, the faint red glow of gravity manipulation surrounding him. Making himself lighter helped stabilize him in this condition. Even after he stopped leaning, Dazai’s hand didn't leave his waist, bandaged fingers curled into the fabric as they crossed the smog filled streets. “You know what, yeah, we've been walking in circles for an hour. Let's sit down for a bit.” Dazai nods at the idea, though not without a comical exaggeration. “Tired already?”—he drawls—”I thought you'd have a bit more left in you than that!” The way Chuuya’s jaw tightens and how his brows furrow? God, that's cute.

The fuck?

A few seconds after a thought so uncalled for, Dazai’s expression twists into grimace from the sheer distaste. There's no way he just thought that. Meanwhile, Chuuya had already found himself a lovely little cargo crate to sit upon, not even humouring Dazai’s taunt, sitting down on it with that annoyed expression still on his face. Dazai follows suit, and watches as the petit mafioso flicks open his cigarette case, taking out a singular stick. Just as Chuuya’s thumb moved to close the flap, a bandaged finger slips another stick out of it.

“Hey! Get your own, damn bastard.”

Dazai twirled the cigarette with practiced dexterity. “Mmm, nope.” He pops the 'p' as he says it. Maybe a good smoke would get that thought out of his head. Whatever that was. His other hand reaches into the inner pocket of his coat, fishing out a lighter. The blue flame lights the tip of the cigarette. The familiar, acrid scent fills his senses, the dim ember makes him feel oddly warm. From the corner of his chocolate eyes, he noticed Chuuya struggling with his own lighter. That old thing was clearly was out of fuel. He extends the black lighter to his cigarette, watching how it dangles idly from his mouth. “Guess you needed me anyway, huh?”

Chuuya waited for the end of the smoke stick to burn, eyes singularly focused on the light. “…Shut it.”

Dazai shrugs off the rude remark, taking a languid drag of the cigarette. A bit stronger than the ones he usually carried with him, but they hit the spot. The puff of smoke exhaled into the air curls upwards, and then fades into the glow of the green and blue signboard lights. Pretty. Fleeting. Only such a shame their youth would suffer the same fate, even if neither will realize it yet. Perhaps in Dazai’s mind, those days were already gone, for this is the last night he'll allow himself to stick to his old ways. To stick with him.

The auburn haired man seems none the wiser about his eventual departure. A good thing, for a lie is so much easier to say than the truth. It's a burden of youth to fall in pursuit of a distant, unclear dream, the promise of light; only to ignore the glow of the bridges they were burning behind them. It's foolish, Dazai knows, but it would be the only way he could bring himself to leave this teenage wastleland of theirs. To save what was remaining of this worthless life.

But what is salvation worth when compared to Nakahara Chuuya?

The small cigarette break ends far too quickly, fingers itching to light up one more, but the night wasn’t getting any younger. Neither were they getting less drunk, and if they didn’t make it home in time for the streetlights and signboards to die out for the night, it's another night falling asleep in an alley. Once Chuuya is done, he impatiently stands up once again; an extremely dumb idea. His head swirls, disoriented by the sudden movement. Instinctively his hands reach for Dazai’s shoulders, until they both stood up, looking like absolute idiots. Dazai was going to taunt him again for being a lightweight, until something caught his attention.

Tap.

The water droplet hit his head, and a quiet 'ow…’ left his pallid lips. Right. They were in the middle of rainy days. And of course the skies had to pick just the right time to cry; when they both were utterly drunk out of their minds and who knows how far from home. Two follows one, three follows two, countless does three. The downpour had begun. Chuuya let out of a groan of utter frustration, shrugging off his coat the best he could with his balance, attempting to drape it over the both of them. Their makeshift umbrella didn't do much, but it was enough for them to get home without being miserably wet. “Ugh, hold this, mummy boy.” Chuuya did not fancy being on his tiptoes for the whole journey back, and Dazai took the edges of the coat from him, holding it up over the both of them.

“Think we can make it if we run?”

“Yeah, think you can keep up?”

“Any day, slug.”

Without hesitation, they were off with their mad dash in the rain. Stumbling once or twice over the curbs, they barely managed to keep the same pace so that they could still be under the coat’s canopy. Chuuya could feel the raindrops hitting his back, and Dazai’s bandages were damp already. They didn't know when they got back to Chuuya’s place; perhaps they should have tried this earlier instead of walking around like bumbling fools all over the place. Dazai set the drenched coat down once they were in the building; gravel streaked steps to the elevator. The two were out of breath, panting, realizing a bit too late that maybe it was a little stupid of them to run off with that kind of reckless abandon when they were drunk and tired.

Once they caught their breath, the ring of the elevator bell indicated that they'd reached their floor. Now they just had to hope they had the right number. 322 — yeah, that's mine.

Chuuya fumbled with the keys in his pocket, attempting to figure out which ones worked with this lock. Vision glazed over, the ridges looked far too blurry; hands clumsily undoing the lock. One of the keys worked; fifth try was the charm. The shoes were kicked off, flying to god knows what part of the living room; the two drunken idiots stumbled in. Dazai didn't hesitate without collapsing right there on the couch, although his friend seemed to atleast have a bit more sense to get himself a glass of water. Not like it mattered that much anyway when thirty minutes afterwards they were both puking their guts out, crawling out of the bathroom like zombies from a b-rated horror film. All those shots were definitely a bad idea, and they were feeling it. If reading minds were possible, one would find that they could only think the same thing.

I’m never drinking with shitty Dazai again!

I swear, this is the last time I get drunk with that hatrack!

And it was true for it was indeed the last time they did drink together.

By quite a bit of effort, they managed to reach the couch once again. Legs over chests and arms over heads, they fit in the most uncomfortable way, but they did manage to not fall over. “Get off me, you're heavy!” Dazai whined, and in truth, he would've shoved him off if he could tell where his hands ended and where Chuuya’s began. “Shut up, I want to sleep!” Perhaps he was right for once, maybe sleep would do them well. With an annoyed grumble, his bandaged fingers settled to curl themselves into the auburn locks that tickled his neck, legs tangled on the velvet sofa. Gloved hands reach to turn the light off.

It was no easy to ignore his thoughts in the dark, not when the silence festered thoughts of his eventual departure; the uncertainty that will grip his life for the days ahead. Perhaps if it weren't for that man’s final words, the promise he drew out of Dazai, he wouldn’t be so willing to upend this life. He wouldn't have even considered saving himself.

So, when we ask once again, what is salvation worth when compared to Nakahara Chuuya?

It is worth a promise. One that must be kept.

Dazai’s mind drifts away once this resolution is made. The symphony that plays in the space between the waking and the asleep is the soft breathing of the man beside him. Focusing singularly on the nearly inaudible sound, looking at the back of his eyes, he allows himself to feel the moment for a final time before he gives away to sleep. Trace away the weave of the fabric that makes the back of his shirt, feel the soft strands that sometimes pricks skin, take note of the sleepy mumbles that leave Chuuya through his dreams. And before the subtle sensation fades, his mouth opens to form the words he feels he must say or they will rend apart his mind forever.

“...I think I’m gonna miss this.”

posts will be less frequent since my entrance exams (aka an exam that'll decide the trajectory of the rest of my life) are in a month! i will still be posting, but requests will be on hold. askbox will still be open, but you may need to wait a long time for requests

works in the making:

drunk walk home — a soukoku fluff oneshot. (posted!!)

melting moment — chuuya x reader, will be a continuation of let the light in, which i'm planning on making a series soon.

the first taste — spawn astarion x tav pre-relationship oneshot.

also i'm gonna start cross posting my fics on my ao3 account by the tag of @formicablues. i've only posted two fics on there for the time being given i'm still figuring things out lmao

picture of my cats to apologize for late content <3

rewatching fallen angels and now i have soukoku fic ideas for DAYSSSS

currently got one in the works too and ugh rubbing my hands like a mosquito and kicking my feet aaaaaaaa

low effort hcs : what music would bsd characters listen to?

everyone puts mother mother and tnbhd in dazai playlists but i can't stop thinking about how this guy would probably love 70s city pop. likes number girl and betcover!!, all of that japanese post-rock vibe. rotates between like five songs he's just obsessed with all the time.

he also feels like the exact type of mf to listen to the smiths and now it's canon in my head. 'there's a light that never goes out' is HIS song im convinced.

akutagawa is the kind of guy who would listen to visual kei. everyday that malice mizer is not on spotify he loses it a little. would also love classic goth. bauhaus, the cure, sisters of mercy, he likes all that shit. probably started with old panic! at the disco, it's that emo -> goth pipeline fr.

in my head chuuya loves rock. likes deftones but would be put off by the screaming. probably fucks with soundgarden, maybe sonic youth, rhcp, nirvana, alice in chains, the velvet underground. it just is the vibe to me. but most of all, i think chuuya would like jazz. chet baker, coltrane, miles davis. likes physical media and would spend a bit too much on records. listens to ultraviolence on occasion, i don't make the rules.

look me in the eye and tell me ranpo wouldn't love shibuya kei. lamp, pitcher56, 800 cherries, satellite lovers, roundtable ft nino. just the sort of music i could picture him listening to. would also love bossa nova. would listen to laufey. once again, i don't make the rules.

fyodor dostoevsky listens to only three kinds of music: symphonic metal, classical music and gregorian chants. this is true and real and you should believe me without question. i think he'd like opeth quite a bit as well. fyodor is also the kind of mf who hates when people refer to baroque or romantic compositions as 'classical'. Yes, he has the eras memorized. disgustingly skilled with most instruments. heard liszt play firsthand.

who do we serve here ? — anyone who seeks escapism is welcome at bar lupin. would you like your drink strong and bitter, or disgustingly sweet and light?

 what is this place ? — formiito's very own establishment of disillusioned lovers and poets. feel free to look around.

❥・my name is formiito, the writer behind these fanfics. bar lupin themed blog, though not solely restricted to bungou stray dogs. i take requests for resident evil, bg3 and may yap about other fandoms too. find me on discord as @ chococoa.a

❥・ my carrd

❥・ theme by the lovely @seldomstardom

❝ — to the stray dogs! ❞

i. MASTERLIST   ii. RULES iii. AO3

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED for all characters.

masterlist ; all orders.

𐙚🧸ྀི — BUNGOU STRAY DOGS !!

order no. 1. the day after i killed myself ; dazai osamu

order no. 2. let the light in ; nakahara chuuya

order no 3. heart to heart ; dazai, kunikida, atsushi

order no 4. drunk walk home ; soukoku

order no 5. poetry in motion ; dazai osamu

SERIES

.⋆♱ infinity aria — fyodor dostoevsky

synopsis: two souls inexplicably intertwined, only for one to kiss death again and again, and for the other to stand witness. throughout the lifetimes, he watches you seek him out, curiously watching you seal your fate.

۶ৎ • prologue

 𐙚🧸ྀི — RESIDENT EVIL !!

order no. 1: mojo pin ; leon s. kennedy

rules for requesting

DO NOT INTERACT if you're gonna be shitty on this page. don't like don't read.

i do not write nsfw, though suggestive themes can be requested and i do approach themes of violence, requested posts or otherwise. suicidal ideation and suicide will be written about sparingly on this blog. do not take what i write as an example of me possibly condoning these things. i do not write noncon, incest or stepcest.

currently, i take requests for these fandoms; bungou stray dogs, baldur's gate 3, resident evil.

i do write for ships!! these are the ones i will have most preference for:

bsd: soukoku, shin soukoku, kunikidazai (why are we shipping quality men with dazai osamu), ranpoe, fyolai, kunichuuranzai

resident evil: serrenedy, aeon (leon x ada)

baldur's gate 3: bloodweave (gale x astarion), shadowzel (shadowheart x lae'zel)

wanna write a deftones based fic so bad but idk what character would go with it ughhhh

yall should i do a 'let the light in' inspired fic for chuuya

i'm too obsessed with this damn album

before i officially finish this account, i need something to kick off the writer's block. i'll open up requests after this!

Here kids, have some dinner

Uhmm idk what possessed me to draw this in AN 1 AND 58 MINS💀💀💀 (that's gotta be a world record, my drawings usually take so long wtf) ignore his feet and his ass (cannot draw those for the life of me)

Anyway, I jave a headache but nothing to do tmrw, soo imma eep😊😊 (lying) ^^

I offer one of my favorite rarepairs....

I know Soukoku is an overrated ship. But the angst we can create with Dazai and Chuuya is such a specific flavor fucked up but painfully poetic that it’s hard not to at least find them interesting.

Like what about the Soukoku where Chuuya sees Dazai again after several years of separation, and he’s the same.

Chuuya sees Dazai, and sure, on the surface he seems like a changed man. Happier. Better. A person who fights for good.

But Chuuya knows Dazai, and he knows that Dazai is only pretending. He knows Dazai is trying so hard to be this other person. To be what Odasaku wanted. He’s gone and tried to change everything about himself but his name, yet no matter how desperate he is he cannot escape who he once was. Who he was in the Port Mafia. Who Mori trained him to be.

And Dazai knows Chuuya knows, but it’s such an easy comfort. His old habits are down right addictive, after all. Every moment spent with Chuuya, Dazai risks falling into who he used to be.

Neither of them want that, but the idea of the ever looming possibility that everything Dazai worked for could be ruined by the Chuuya’s mere existence and the act of Dazai loving him is so very compelling to me.

A trick of the eyes

One shot

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya

A/N: Check request status on Masterlist

TW: Dark imagery, art has gore, Dazai having hallucinations, not quite angst in terms of their relationship, just Dazai's typical mental problems, he does eat in the end, alludes to cannibalism, doesn't actually happen don't worry, art below the cut is a visual description and has gore, don't read while eating, especially if it's Ramen

A/N: This was another thing I had done for Whumptober lol and never posted. This was day 12: Cannibalism

Dazai stared down at the fresh bowl of ramen Chuuya had graciously decided to make for him after he, on a whim as he told Chuuya, broke into the luxurious penthouse far above the city of Yokohama. Dazai wasn’t hungry and he had a feeling his typical ‘problem’ would show face again.

It was a problem he didn’t tell anyone, not even Chuuya. While Chuuya likely had an idea of what Dazai’s problem with food was, there was simply no way he knew exactly what the problem was, and Dazai was determined to keep it that way.

Dazai looked away, resting his head in his right palm as he looked to his left.

Chuuya let out a growl, “You better fucking eat, you piece of shit.”

They both knew that Chuuya would never expect Dazai to eat all, let alone half of the bowl. Dazai also knew, though, that Chuuya would be mad if he didn’t touch any of it. Dazai had asked for Chuuya to make some after all. Well- actually, ‘asked’ is the wrong word, more like he pestered Chuuya until he did.

Dazai had actually wanted some, despite not being hungry. Chuuya’s cooking was rather good and was one of the few people’s cooking he could stomach to eat a decent amount of.

Now, however, Dazai was struggling to bring his eyes down to the bowl. He knew it was ramen, of course he did, but… ramen certainly isn’t what his eyes were seeing.

If Dazai looked down he’d be met with the sight of two eyes staring back up at him in a mess of intestines and blood.

Dazai rubbed aggressively at his eyes for a few seconds and when he looked back down the hallucination was gone. Gone was the bowl filled to the brim with human parts and back was the bowl of delicious looking ramen.

Dazai swallowed down the lump in his throat and picked up the chopsticks. If he wanted to be able to eat anything he had to now before the hallucination came back to deceive his eyes.

-----------------------

Chuuya watched as Dazai rubbed aggressively at his eyes before looking down at the ramen and digging in. It was rare to see him eat so quickly. Chuuya could feel something was off but whatever it was gone now. Chuuya let it slide as long as Dazai was eating. Chuuya looked down at his own bowl of ramen and began eating, with a little less rigor as Dazai, of course.

End Note: Check Masterlist to see if Requests are OPEN or CLOSED

Chuuya and Dazai girl dad headcanons

Chuuya Nakahara

He would spoil his baby girl rotten!!

When is daughter is first born and given to him, he cries softly as he stares at her beautiful face she looks just like you.

He promises her he'll always be there for her no matter what.

He gets up with her in the middle of the night to take care of her, even if he has to get up super early in the morning to leave for work, he just wants you to get your beauty sleep.

The first time his daughter ever walked is when Chuuya got home from the mafia she waddled over to him, yes he cried.

dosent tell her anything about the mafia, keeps her away from it and dosent tell anyone about her for her own safety.

Blows on her cheeks and belly to make her laugh, he loves to hear her belly laugh, it’s his favorite.

Plays dress up with her, he loves getting all his fashion clothes on and walking out of the closet all dressed up with his daughter by his side dressed up in a pink dress while you pick who won this round.

He gets her her first puppy at 5 for her birthday so she can have a friend that she can grow up with.

Since Chuuya has longer hair he knows how to do hair. He will sit in the bathroom with her and do cute little braids while you watch them joke about anything and everything.

As she grows he tries to be there for her school plays and daddy dances but with him being in the mafia unfortunately he misses out on some things he wishes he didn’t have to.

Chuuya askes her how her day went every night at the dinner table. He always wants to know how his babygirls day went.

As she gets a bit older and gets a boyfriend he’s pretty chill about it, however he has to meet the guy and approve of him but if he finds out the guy hurt his daughter let’s just say it’s not to good on the guys part.

Makes her turn on her location everywhere she goes just to make sure she’s safe and ok.

If she’s having a stressful day he will hold her in his arms and kiss her head telling her it’s going to be ok.

lets her come to him about anything, he'll always have time for her to rant to him about anything.

He’ll take you and your daughter out for the weekend so that you all can get away from everything for a few days. He loves to spend time with you both.

lets just say Chuu would be an amazing dad and would do anything to keep you and his babygirl safe.

Dazai Osamu

When the doctors first hand him his babygirl he stares at her beautiful face. He wiggles his finger around her face as she grips onto it he then starts to cry softly.

Takes naps with her on his chest. You’ll come home to see them laying together, he has her resting on his chest while she hugs him tightly.

Makes silly faces at her to make her stop crying. (it works)

Helps her take baths after dinner and will boop bubbles on her nose.

Let’s her stand on his feet while they dance in the kitchen while waiting for breakfast.

Helps her dress up in her princess dresses and puts a tiara on her head.

Runs to the door every time her daddy comes home, Dazai leans down on his knee and cradles her in his arms kissing all over her face.

After playing outside they will come back in covered in dirt as they hand you flowers from the garden that they picked for you.

Tries to bake with her but it ends up being a whole mess. Flower is all over the kitchen floor, they tried to made a cake but it doesn’t taste good but at least they had fun but now you have to clean the floors.

Let’s his daughter do his hair and makeup. He doesn’t care what he looks like afterwards with pink hair ties in his hair and pink glitter on his eyelids he thinks it’s fun and cute.

On Valentine’s Day he gets you something of course but he always has something for your daughter too.

When she gets a bit older they gossip like crazy about anything and everything. Dazai gets the snacks and they go sit on the couch and gossip.

They have pillow fights all the time. One of them throws a pillow at the other and then it becomes a war.

Dazai is a very supportive father and will always support her in anything she wants or does. He’ll always be rooting for her no matter what.

When she gets a boyfriend like Chuuya he wants to meet him see how he is if he’s good for his daughter, if so welcome to the family! But he is overprotective like Chuuya too.

He likes you take you and your daughter to the beach often. It’s a family trip y’all do every month just to spend time together.

He’s a lovely and silly dad and like Chuuya he would do anything for you and his babygirl.

this got longer than I expected, but I had the idea and I had to write it! I don't normally write child characters, but I like how this little universe is turning out

Chuuya x reader, reader and Chuuya have a child together, nickname 'angel' used

Divider by @/cafekitsune

"Chuu, why is Kiko carrying around a limited edition Pokémon plushie that's bigger than she is?" You lean against the study door frame, admiring the sight of your boyfriend at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He turns at the sound of your voice, a soft smile crossing his face.

He beckons you over, letting you slot between his legs and wrapping his arms around you, "Hey, angel. We missed you today."

You can't help but melt at his words, especially when he nuzzles into your tummy, hands resting on your lower back. You stroke a hand over ginger locks, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of his head, "I missed you too. Now, answer my question. A Pikachu met me at the door instead of our daughter."

Honestly, the sight had been hilarious. A giant plushie, with two little legs sticking out of the bottom and two little hands clinging onto the yellow fabric. A bright, happy greeting from behind the plushie made your chest warm, as did the huge smile splitting Kiko's face when you relieved her of the giant toy.

Chuuya lets out a laugh, blue eyes shining with mirth, "We went out today, and you know Pikachu is her favourite. She was looking at it; what was I supposed to do?"

You can't fault him - not that you were in the first place. It's lucky for you both that Kiko doesn't have a penchant for evil, because those big eyes and squishy cheeks could convince you to do just about anything. Chuuya especially is physically incapable of refusing her anything, even if the only way she asks for it is by staring longingly. Clearly, that's what happened today.

"How did you even get it home?" You knew they were planning to use the subway, and you were pretty sure they wouldn't have gotten far with Kiko's new friend in tow.

Chuuya smirks up at you, "Being an executive has its perks."

You roll your eyes, "I don't think the boss expects you to use Port Mafia resources to transport giant plushies."

"Pretty sure he said our subordinates were at our disposal. Today, I needed help transporting precious cargo." Whether he was referring to the plushie, or to Kiko, you weren't sure. Probably both.

A rush of affection leads you to drop another kiss on his head, cradling the back of his head in one hand. Nobody ever expects Chuuya to be like this; soft, relaxed. It's a side of him precious few get to see, and you always consider it a privilege to be one of those allowed to sneak beneath the mask he wears for the rest of the world.

"Angel, you haven't been into our room yet, have you?" You narrow your eyes at his playful tone, and he just stares up at you, blue eyes big and 'innocent'. He keeps talking, and you can tell he's trying to hold back a smile.

Slowly, you come to a realisation, "You didn't ..."

The smile he's no longer able to hide says it all. You pull away from him and rush out of the room, hearing him laugh behind you. Moments later, you're standing in your bedroom, staring at a plushie the same size as Kiko's, except this one is your favourite Pokémon. You feel something bump into you, and you find Kiko behind you, still carrying her Pikachu.

"Mama, we got it special for you!" She's peeking out from behind her plushie, and she sounds so excited.

Chuuya appears behind her, resting a hand on her head, "She insisted that if she was getting one, Mama had to have one too."

Every time you think you can't love them more, they do something to prove you wrong. You remove the plushie from Kiko, placing it on the bed next to yours so you can lift her into your arms and snuggle her close, "Thank you, baby." You look at Chuuya, watching the two of you with such love that you swear you can see hearts, "Thanks to you too, Chuu."

"Anything for my girls." He steps closer, wrapping you up in his arms and you know he means every word.

My cheeks hurt from smiling

I want to get in a little practice for writing Kiko (and also i can't get girl dad chuuya out of my head) so here's a little moment of her being a cutie, and a little bit of setting the scene for the big fic

Chuuya x f!Reader, nickname 'angel' used

Divider by @/cafekitsune

"Papa!" A little voice calls out, and Akutagawa will never get used to the way Chuuya's whole demeanour changes when his daughter appears. Both men turn towards the sound, Chuuya's arms already outstretched to catch the little girl barreling towards him. He's smiling, too, and if Akutagawa didn't know better, he would think Chuuya is just another loving father, not one of the most dangerous men in Yokohama. He's ... warmer, softer around the edges when he's with Kiko, and when he's with you - not that he lets many see that side of him.

Kiko throws herself into her fathers' arms, not a hint of hesitation on her face. Chuuya holds her close, cradling her against his body as he turns his attention to you, standing back and watching them with open adoration. Your eyes slide over to him next, and Akutagawa doesn't know what to do with the affection in the smile you send his way.

"Hey angel. Wasn't expecting you; is everything alright?" Akutagawa can see the slight tension in Chuuya's shoulders, and he sees it release when Kiko speaks up, still clinging to her father with one hand clutching his jacket.

"Me and Mama missed you!" Kiko learns around her father to shoot Akutagawa a toothy grin, "Ryuu-kun! See, Mama, I told you we would see him too!"

Your voice is fond as you answer her, and you check she's not looking before rolling your eyes, "Yes, you did, baby." You address him, amusement clear in your voice, "She was very excited to see you."

Punctuating her mother's statement, Kiko starts wriggling in her father's hold, and he sets her down, kissing the crown of her head when her feet are safely on the floor. Moments later, she's wrapped around Akutagawa's leg, talking a mile a minute about everything she's done since the last time she saw him. It's nice, he thinks as he listens to her - there's precious few people who don't treat him with caution, who look past his reputation and see him as more than a weapon.

"Akutagawa." He looks up at Chuuya's call of his name. There's a barely there smile on his face, "Go with them - make sure they're safe."

He knows what this is - Chuuya always makes sure the two of you are well guarded, but there's hardly a need for someone like him to accompany you. It's not like you're defenceless, and there's much better things he could be doing to benefit the Port Mafia. This is for him. He's not sure how he feels about it, but an executive is asking him to do something, so it's not like he can say no. He wouldn't anyway - he can admit to himself that he enjoys spending time with you, and the thought of disappointing Kiko and having her look up at him with big, tear-filled eyes makes him uncomfortable.

Kiko slips her little hand into his as Chuuya says his goodbyes to you; wrapping you in his arms and leaving a gentle kiss on your lips, whispering words for you alone into the space between you. The love between you is palpable, and he averts his eyes.

"Be good for your Mama, Kiko. I'll see you tonight; I love you." Chuuya crouches down to claim one final hug from the little girl. She leans into the hug, pressing a wet kiss to his cheek before pulling away and tugging Akutagawa down the corridor.

She waves behind her without looking, too focused on her next adventure, "I will, Papa! I love you."

The laughter from behind him suggests there will be no rescue from the four year old currently dragging him along, and he finds that he doesn't mind at all.

Damn. Is that a new soukoku dump? Might be.

Together Forever

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Chuuya x Dazai (Soukoku)

TW: Major Character Death, Angst, Major Angst, No happy ending, I love making characters go through hell, except Chuuya, which is why this isn’t in his pov, I felt evil today

Since the first time Dazai had witnessed the storm that was Arahabaki, Chuuya, he was enthralled. 

Chuuya was human. So painfully human. So beautifully human. 

After all, there was nothing more human than chaos and discord. The human need to find the most perfect, the most orderly form of chaos. 

Chuuya was chaotic and he was perfect. The perfect form of chaos. 

Human. 

Chuuya was human. 

Human. 

_______

For the first time since Dazai witnessed the storm that was Arahabaki, Chuuya, he wasn’t enthralled. 

Chuuya was human. So painfully human. So horrendously human. 

After all, there was nothing more human than life and death. The conclusion to a human life, the inevitable cessation. 

Chuuya was deadly and he was corrupt. 

Human. 

Chuuya was human. 

Blood. 

So much blood. 

There was a burning in his chest from having run here.  

He fell to his knees with no regard for the rubble beneath him. He pulled Chuuya into his arms. 

Red. So much red. 

Yet the body he was clinging to like a child to a stuffed animal was cold. 

He could feel the lingering warmth leaving the body and seeping into his own in a cruel twist of fate. 

He could feel as the warmth entered his own freezing body. 

There was an annoying chattering sound somewhere in the rubble. 

It was cold. It was cold and the body in his arms was becoming freezing to the touch but he couldn’t let go even as he shivered. 

Chuuya was covered in red, further staining his abdomen in sticky red. 

Cold. 

It was so cold. 

He curled himself over Chuuya as if to shield him from the cold, cruel world. 

He was tired and cold. 

He shivered, closing his eyes, pretending Chuuya wasn’t so freezing in his arms. 

… 

So cold…

________

It had been raining nearly all day. He couldn’t help but think it was painfully fitting. 

The gravestone was large and elegant. It was surrounded by droves of people clad in black. Only those closest were allowed to be up near the grave. 

When he finally made it up to the grave with the others, his melancholy grew. 

In the middle of the gravestone, in large, fancy font was the word Soukoku. Below that on the left was Chuuya Nakahara and on the right was Osamu Dazai. 

Apparently, when they were found together, it first looked as if only Dazai was clinging to Chuuya, but Chuuya had his hand clenched around Dazai’s coat as well. Out of respect, they weren’t separated. 

He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt someone grab his arm. He looked up only to realize most people had left after the rain had gotten worse. He looked to his side before relaxing at the sight of Kyouka. 

“Thank you.”

A/N: Requests are OPEN, read the rules, please

Oneshot -Pushing and Pulling. Home.

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya

A/N: This is the fanfic version of the comic with quite a bit more detail in it than the comic did. It has Dazai's direct thoughts leading up to his attempt from the beginning of the comic, as well as a look at Chuuya's own thoughts.

TW: blood, self-harm, suicide attempt, language

A/N: Also posted on Ao3

Comic version HERE

Nothing… 

Numbingly empty… 

A mirage of thoughts ran rampant throughout his mind with no end in sight. They pushed and pulled him down with arms of inky black darkness into the sheets below. 

The tug had been growing worse, harder to ignore over time. It came on gradually, leaving him little chance to fend them off before he realized it was too late. It had taken him too long to notice the grip of the demons in his mind. 

He didn’t want to admit that even after defecting from the Port Mafia, after surviving for two years underground, after doing everything for Odasaku, he hadn’t changed. 

Even after all of Fyodor’s bullshit, and he and Chuuya had finally become partners again -though now it meant more to them. 

He hadn’t changed. 

It had been a while since he had genuinely attempted anything, what with Chuuya’s watchful eyes. That and when he was around Chuuya, the darkness of his thoughts often receded, soothed by the ethereal man he had the undeserved privilege to call his lover. 

Sadly, with their differing jobs, it was simply impossible to be with Chuuya every minute of every day. 

In fact, Chuuya was currently away on an abroad mission. He was set to be back sometime tomorrow after having been gone for an entire month. 

Without Chuuya around to soothe the demons in his head, he fell. 

He fell victim to the grabbing hands. 

Pushing and pulling. 

Inky blackness. 

His face contorted in a frown as a restlessness overtook him. 

‘He’ll be back tomorrow.’ He tried telling himself through the cacophony of countless thoughts. Fruitless, really, but he didn’t want to hurt Chuuya. Not again. 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

Blackness. 

Darkness. 

It filled his lungs like thick black blood. 

Sweet like honey with the seducing promise of relief. 

A quiet mind. 

With no thumping beat of a heart. 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

His feet hit the ground before his mind could stop him. 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

His hand reached for the door to the bathroom. 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

Chuuya had stopped messaging daily sometime after the first week. Too busy with his mission. 

Chuuya hadn’t messaged him since last week. 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

What if he was hurt? 

What if he didn’t come back. 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

What if he didn’t want to come back? 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

His clothes hit the floor by the door, the bandages on his arms and legs following. 

Pushing. Pulling. 

The blade cut, stinging. 

Through his skin. 

Through the bandages still covering his chest. 

Red. 

Pushing. Pulling. 

Inky red blood flowed out. Seeped into his skin. 

Into the pristine white covering him. 

White never did suit him. 

Pushing, pulling. 

The water from the faucet meshed horrendously with his rampant thoughts. 

His vision was flooded with a bloody red color as his arm reached out in front of him to stop the running water. 

Waves of steam rolled off and over the tub. 

Pushing, Pulling. 

The water bled red as he stepped into the tub. 

Burning. 

A pleasant burning from where the blade had cut through him and from the water as it came into contact with his skin.  

The burning water seeped through his bandages, further burning. 

Burning to combat the endless, bone-deep, freezing cold. 

The inky red blood polluted the water. 

Pushing. 

Pulling. 

Pushing and pulling him into a soothing embrace of darkness. 

Quiet. 

_____________________

The door clicked behind him softly. 

He could feel the exhaustion deep in the marrow of his bones as he hung up his coat and haphazardly kicked off his shoes into the genkan.  

He called out into the quiet house.  

“Dazai! I’m home!” 

He was greeted with silence. 

He was supposed to arrive home the next day, so perhaps Dazai was asleep? 

It was well past 2 in the morning. 

But Chuuya knew Dazai always struggled to fall asleep. And since Dazai began to live with him, he relied on him to sleep. 

‘I need my Chibi heater to stave off the cold! If you leave, then I’ll be left freezing and awake!’ 

The memory flashes through his head as he places his hat on the dining room table. 

“Dazai?” 

Silence. 

He made his way towards their shared room when he noticed the bathroom light on. 

He knocked softly on the door as he called out to him. 

“Dazai?” 

There was no response. 

A seed of fear sprouted into a hideous flower in his gut. 

Dazai wouldn’t… He had been clean for so long now. 

He called out again, hopeful to get a response this time. 

“Dazai? Are you in there?” 

Silence. 

He reached to open the door, unlocked. 

His mind went blank as he looked at the bloody scene in front of him. 

He stood there for a second that felt more like an hour, a day, a month. 

He could see the steam from the likely scalding temperature of the water.  

The blood was a vibrant red. Fresh.  

The scent of iron filled his nostrils. 

Then the panic set in. 

He suddenly felt like a victim to the gravity he normally had flawless control over. 

He rushed forward to check Dazai’s pulse, with little care for the blood staining his clothes. 

Through his own rapid breathing, he was able to subtly feel Dazai’s slow pulse. 

There was so much blood. 

He let his mind wander to what could have happened while he was gone while he fell back to old habits. Picking up Dazai’s limp body, unplugging the drain, pulling off what remains of his bandages. Rinsing the blood still on him, redressing his wounds with two layers of bandages to avoid any more bleeding. 

When he got to the ‘clothing Dazai’ step in his habitual process, Dazai began to stir into consciousness as he pulled up boxers over his legs. 

He hardly noticed as his mind continued to drift. His hands moved to pull one of Dazai’s heavenly soft sweaters over him. 

He left Dazai sitting on the stool in the bathroom as he finished cleaning the mess, mumbling to himself as his mind returned from drifting. 

“…got Dazai cleaned, bandaged, and dressed…” 

He pulled off his blood-soaked gloves, tossing them into the trash. 

“Dinner can wait I guess… and I’ve got to change…” 

He looked over himself, clothes stained red in blood. 

“Dammit! And I’ve still got that report…” 

A soft sniffle from behind him pulled him from his thoughts. 

Behind him was Dazai, still sitting just like how Chuuya had left him to clean up. 

He crouched down in front of him, reaching out to wipe some of his tears. Hesitant on whether Dazai was up for touch. 

When Dazai didn’t shift away he brought his hands down to gently run along Dazai’s thickly bandaged knees. 

He was at a loss for words, not having quite come to terms with the fact that if he had returned tomorrow, as was planned, Dazai would have been dead when he found him. 

“…Do you wanna talk about it?”  

His voice hardly sounded like his own, tentative, shaky, unsure. 

Finally, a response reached his ears. 

“Not really…” 

Dazai’s eyes were blank, devoid of any feeling, as he looked into them. 

He closed his eyes, sighing, both at finally being able to hear his voice and at the emotionless stare. 

Then, Dazai spoke again. 

“Can we… talk tomorrow?” 

He didn’t realize he had been frowning until he felt his lips pull at a small smile. 

Before they had gotten together, Dazai would never have asked to talk about something. If he didn’t bring up something then Dazai would never do it. And even when he did try to bring something up, Dazai would attempt to deflect and distract him from the conversation. 

“Yeah… tomorrow. For now… I’ll change, we can order food and watch a movie. How’s that sound?” 

“Cuddle?” 

A soft chuckle left his lips at the hesitant tone Dazai spoke in. 

“Yeah.” 

Chuuya was hardly paying attention to the show, thinking of everything they would have to talk about tomorrow.  

He felt Dazai nuzzle into him, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked down at the soft brown curls against his chest. Dazai’s head was turned toward the TV but from what he could see, Dazai’s eyes were closed, asleep.  

He smiled, letting his eyes close. 

He could feel sleep begin to overtake him now that he was finally home. 

Home being the man in his arms.

Comic -Pushing and Pulling. Home.

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya

TW: blood, self-harm, suicide attempt, language

Fanfic version: Pushing and Pulling. Home.

It's also posted on my ao3 which is now linked on my master list

BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Dazai:

-Relationship Headcanons

-Come here. Sit with me. - x Chuuya -Why are you awake? - x Chuuya -Pushing and Pulling. Home. - x Chuuya / Comic version -A Trick of the Eyes - x Chuuya / +Art -Together Forever - x Chuuya

-And if you can forgive, love will truly live , PART 2 - x Reader -Perhaps in another life. In another time - x Reader

Chuuya:

-Relationship Headcanons

-Come here. Sit with me. - x Dazai -Why are you awake? - x Dazai -Pushing and Pulling. Home. - x Dazai / Comic version -A Trick of the Eyes - x Dazai / +Art -Together Forever - x Dazai

Fyodor:

-Relationship Headcanons

Requests:

Rambles:

-I'm procrastinating

Alternate Universe:

-Mordred's Lullaby

Why are you awake?

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Soukoku - Dazai x Chuuya

Prompt:“Why are you awake?” “I could ask you the same thing.” 

TW: mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts/idealization, vague mentions of an eating disorder but not specified, self-deprecating thoughts  

A/N: Also posted on my ao3, you can find the link on my master list

After being together for a few months and going on cheesy expensive dates, at the expense of Chuuya’s wallet, Dazai moved in with Chuuya. And slowly, with Chuuya’s help, Dazai was getting better. He still slacked off at the office, primarily just to annoy Kunikida, but he was getting more sleep and Chuuya did his best to get Dazai to eat at least three times a day even if it was small; something was better than nothing, as Chuuya had put it. 

That doesn’t mean it always worked out, of course. There were still days when Dazai struggled to eat anything at all. And there were nights like tonight where, even within the comforting warmth of Chuuya’s arms, Dazai couldn’t seem to fall asleep. 

His thoughts were a little too loud tonight, it seemed. Normally, there would have been signs the previous days; signs of Dazai slipping back towards the darkness. However, this time, it seemed to come onto him suddenly, and worst of all, after Chuuya had already slipped into unconsciousness. And though Chuuya hadn’t said anything of work being tiring, Dazai could tell it had been tough. Nothing Chuuya couldn’t handle... but it certainly left him more exhausted than usual. 

Dazai would… feel bad, if he woke him up now. Chuuya did so much for him. He cooked for him, he made sure Dazai was showering, and even if Dazai couldn’t get himself to shower, Chuuya would take a bath with him to compromise. When Dazai felt disgusted by his own body, Chuuya was there to kiss every single inch of his body with affirmations pressed into his skin.  

And Dazai did what? What did he ever do for Chuuya? Nothing. All he ever did was burden Chuuya with all his emotional crap. 

So, no. No, he wasn’t going to wake up Chuuya for something he should be able to handle by himself. He had handled it for the four years he was gone, he could do it again. Although, handle was probably the wrong word. He handled it by ignoring it. He handled it with his… self destructive habits… 

He wouldn’t. He couldn’t ruin all of Chuuya’s hard work. Chuuya had kept him from harming himself since they got together almost a year ago now. 

Chuuya would surely be mad if he ruined it now. 

Dazai slipped himself out of Chuuya’s grasp and out of the covers of their bed. With silent steps, he made his way over to the balcony, swiftly opening the sliding door before closing it behind himself.  

He hissed as his bare feet hit the freezing ground of the balcony deck. It was the middle of the night, probably sometime around 2 or 3 in the morning by now, if Dazai had to guess. The autumn air was crisp and beginning to grow colder as the end of the year creeped up on them.  

Dazai breathed out softly, watching it fog up in the temperature difference. 

He leaned against the railing, watching the city lights of Yokohama at night below him. Every so often, a car would pass below and his eyes would subconsciously follow it into the distance.  

This did nothing to stop his racing mind, but made him far colder than he was before. He was tempted to retreat back into the comfort of Chuuya’s arms, but something kept him from doing so. 

He looked down. 

It was far. 

No human could possibly survive a fall that far. 

Chuuya could. 

Dazai couldn’t. 

His fingers twitched where they were on the railing. His hand closed around the railing. 

No. 

His hand shook, clasped around the freezing metal. 

His mind drowned out the sound of the city around him. 

His thoughts were screaming in his mind.  

It was loud, a cacophony of sounds. Thoughts. 

“Why are you awake?” 

Dazai’s eyes widen. His hand gripping even tighter around the metal. His body betrayed no other signs of his shock. He didn’t turn around. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” 

“The bed grew cold without a certain clingy mackerel occupying the other side.” 

A soft sigh sounded behind him before warm hands found their way around his waist. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” 

“Yeah.” 

“If you’re not up to talk right now, that’s fine, but lets go back inside.” Chuuya spoke, his words pressed into Dazai’s back as a kiss accompanied them. “You’re shivering.” 

Was he? He hadn’t even noticed. 

He unclasped his hand from the freezing metal. 

Chuuya let his hands fall to his side and already Dazai missed their warmth. 

Dazai silently followed Chuuya inside. He slipped back under the covers, letting Chuuya close the door before joining him. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

Dazai shifted closer to Chuuya, letting his head rest against Chuuya’s chest. He listened to Chuuya’s heartbeat for a moment as Chuuya’s arms wrapped around his waist.  

Dazai’s voice was quiet as he spoke into Chuuya’s chest. “Tomorrow?” 

He could feel the soft sigh that left Chuuya. “Tomorrow.” 

A hand left Dazai’s waist from under the covers to run though his hair. Dazai let out a soft, content, sigh at the fingers in his hair. 

“Try and get some sleep for me, ‘kay princess?” 

Dazai felt his cheeks heat up at the pet name, burying his face further into Chuuya’s chest in response. 

“I love you.” 

“Love you too, princess.” 

Dazai is a princess who loves to be spoiled rotten and no one can change my mind, and of course, who better than Chuuya to fulfill his need to be taken care of?

I'm going to ignore the fact that me writing Dazai being taken care of is just me coping 🙃