Endo Safe - Blog Posts

Giving this to a couple of the Entities when they have time, I’ll leave it in the drafts until at least Ruger has had a chance to answer, and hopefully Shekel, cause those two would like it I think. I’d also love to see Damian respond to get to know him a bit better, but I know technology is not his thing. Not sure if Pitt or Rocky or Grey will be interested but they would be neat as well <3

Ruger:

1. Despite already being an alter, I’m a therian! I have my own human body in the inner world who is a therian. This confuses our host. I find that funny.

2. I’m a Rottweiler!

3. Sometimes I feel more dog like than others, but it’s usually a gradual change.

4. I stress everybody out because I eat a lot when fronting and usually we have trouble with food (but I am always so so hungry and I will always be so so hungry)

5. They seem neat! I don’t front enough to make friends but they’re cool

6. I have a collar with a tag that says beast on one side and whore on the other, and I love it.

7. Nah. We vibing. This is also something that confuses the host.

8. Find what brings you joy.

9. See collar mentioned above

10. I exist as a creature of passion and greed to balance out the system’s prevalent fear of appearing too needy or demanding or excessive.

Shekel:

1. I don’t have any particular association with the body so I don’t use specific terminology. In the inner world I’m an abandoned mutant/laboratory experiment.

2. Types of animals? I’m partially a person and partially a wolf, although some of my features are a bit more horse or dragon like.

3. I don’t shift, although Jay (our host) says I have a very vivid feeling when I switch in and can fuck with his perception of the body if that makes sense?

4. I don’t do much life outside of the inner world so it doesn’t effect me much, but I prefer wearing fur and eating fish when I’m fronting, stuff like that.

5. I don’t engage with strangers, I’m one of the boundary focused alters - others like Rocky love making friends and getting close to people, but some of the others and I have to mitigate that by being inherently suspicious and fast to push people away. In other words, the community looks very nice but I don’t trust anyone enough to engage much.

6. Unironically, werewolf smut is nice and feral and affirming. I also like that the body is used to walking on its toes, the way my legs are built doesn’t translate well to a human shape and being up on the toes is one of the only things that feels right.

7. Always. The body is a foot and a half shorter than I’m supposed to be, it’s the wrong shape, I don’t have fur or claws or ears. The only things that are right is the set of my shoulders and the fact that I’m bipedal.

8. Be fierce, but be kind. Love hard, but don’t force yourself to be tame.

9. My fur vest helps, and we technically have a tail, but I don’t get too dysphoric about the lack of a tail so I don’t usually use it. I want claws.

10. We suspect I’m a knockoff and divergent version of Wolf from The Lunar Chronicles, and while even in the internal world I’m not built to be good at fighting, I’m pretty sure I exist because we felt powerless and needed someone feral enough to protect us.

Pitt:

1. I consider myself nonhuman.

2. I am an angel.

3. I do not shift or change.

4. In the inner world I am blind, so seeing is a challenge when fronting.

5. N/A

6. Having our glasses off helps.

7. Not particularly. I miss my wings when fronting sometimes.

8. I have no advice.

9. No, it wouldn’t be enough.

10. In a way, I have the most religious trauma since I was a part of it, a part of god, and now I am cast aside. I formed so that Jay doesn’t have to feel guilty over what he has been through. He is not alone. I will keep him company.

Grey:

- I don’t know what categories there are. I’m just…. Here, and not remotely human.

- I’m a forest cryptid and my physical form is somewhat close to a wolf with something Wrong with it.

- my form… wavers sometimes, but I don’t know if I’d describe it as a shift.

- I don’t front much, but when I do I’m the second most likely to be nonverbal and the most likely to snarl/snap my teeth/bite anyone who crosses my boundaries (that unfortunately are much stricter than the boundaries of most of the others)

- I know nothing about the community.

- I’m very nocturnal, so I tend to stay up and Lurk in the dark.

- I don’t feel dysphoria. My true corporeal form is unable to fully contain me so it makes sense that this human body can’t either.

- to new alterhumans: if growling is the best way you can express your boundaries in the moment, it is a valid method and it’s not your fault if people don’t understand.

- I don’t need gear.

- long ago there was a boy that was hungry. His teeth grew long and his heart grew inky and his hands grew claws. The forest shoved into his soul, ripping it open and pressing inside. The boy has been hungry so long he cannot feel it - but if you try to take his food from him the wolf he became will shred the flesh off your bones.

Damian:

I don’t know shit about dick so who knows

I’m a demon

I don’t shift

I don’t live everyday life

I didn’t know there was a community

I think hitting someone with my car would feel good but I am not supposed to try that

I have a vivid sense of self but I don’t feel uncomfortable inhabiting this body, my true form overlays it in a way so it’s kind of like a possession and feels perfectly fine

I’m pretty sure any advice I have to give is not something Jay would let me say

It would be fun to have synthetic teeth, but I don’t think anyone could make teeth that actually match my true form

I came from hell to fuck around :)

(So much barking) Rocky!!!

1. Ohhh!!!! There are categories?? That’s awesome!! :D I dunno

2. I’m an Australian shepherd mix!! Not really a therian or anything, I’m just A Doggo :]

3. I don’t shift I just am ^-^

4. Uhhhh idk!!!

5. I LOVE COMMUNITIES BC I LOVE PEOPLE PEOPLE ARE THE BEST

6. Wiggling around and barking and stuff!!

7. … :D … I have never felt a bad feeling in my life!!

8. Hiiiiii I love youuuu

9. I have a collar and a tag with my name on it!!!!!!

10. Uhhhhh I exist to wiggle and bark and love people!!! ^-^

If you are an alter/nonhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

I would recommend just taking your time. You have a lifetime to figure things out, and from my experience the faster you try to learn about your system/get to know your headmates the more likely you are to have a denial phase. I used to cycle really badly between denial and trying to accept my system, and I only started making progress when I got to a point where I accepted that my little brain guys are around, but I don’t need to figure everything out immediately. Slowly easing into getting to know everyone and listen to them has worked really well for me, but if you find a better way by all means take it :)

guys i set up a simply plural what do i do now

also update: i havent gotten anyone to front yet other than that night

also i can hear my headmates (i think) but it feels like im just imagining them saying things instead of them actually saying things

Space themed System ask game based on common fakeclaim "criteria" because these things are valid and cool actually

🛰-Do you have a large headcount?

👾-Do any alters in your system have typing quirks?

🚀-Does your system have any Non-human alters?

☄️-Is your system neurodivergent?

🔭-Does your system use neo Pronouns?

🌠-Do any of the alters in your system have dyed hair?

🌙-Are there any nonverbal alters in your system?

🪐-Does your system have Angry or "dangerous" persecutors?

💫-Do your littles use 'little-speech?'

🌌-Does your system have little to no amnesia between switches?

🌟-Does your system have fairly clear communication?

🌘-Do you have a large or complex headspace?

🛸-Do any alters in your system have exo-memories?

👽Does your system have any tics?

☀️-is your system bad at masking?

✨️-Do any alters in your system have an accent?

🌎-Do any alters in your system speak in a different language?

☁️-Does your system use things like pluralkit and simply plural?

⭐️-are you out about being a system?

The absolute irony of the alter in charge of sleeping being nocturnal…

I wanted a bio, so I'm making a bio.

Name: Travis Role: Council member, (mostly) ex-persecutor Pronouns: he/him

I'm the resident black magic enthusiast, and I've got a "mad scientist vibe going on." My job as a persecutor was to keep us from relying on anyone by manipulating the host away from people. These days I mostly keep an eye on the other "darker" system members.

I like silk shirts, dramatic aesthetics, spooky music, and gold jewelry.

wOAH WEVE HAD A TUMBLR FOR SIX MONTHS??? Yea this is definitely the longest we’ve gone without me repressing things whoops

Trying to figure out if a couple guys I know of are headmates or if they’re just OCs. Like yeah, they come with their own Vibes, but is that really enough to go off of? I think one fronted earlier but only for like ten seconds so who knows really?? And the other is just a Feeling I’ve had off and on since I was a kid and I put the feeling into an OC and recently I found a journal entry where I(?) was calling myself by his name… but I don’t know… halp….

I wanted to maladaptive daydream, but instead our littlest is co-con so I guess I’m just gonna hang out as it cracks up listening to Raffi songs. It’s alright. Apples and Bananas does go pretty hard.

For me communication got easier when I stopped being so paranoid about whether I was faking or not, but if that doesn’t apply to you, disregard.

If possible, find a headmate you like who gives you permission to use positive triggers to pull to front sometimes (though discuss boundaries around when and how that’s done), and focus on communication with that one specific headmate. That’s how I became friends with Shekel - he has an incredibly vivid presence, so I can really tell when he’s nearby/co-con/fronting, and I’ve learned how to positive trigger him forward. I don’t do it often, because he’s busy on the inside and gets tired when too close to front for too long, but he told me that he’d rather me pull him to front than put the body through a panic attack, so I tend to reach out to him first. Once you learn good communication with one you can both work on communication with others.

I don’t know if you can hear your headmates on the inside, but if you can, try talking with them about things they like when they’re around - they’ll be more likely to have a genuine conversation that way in my experience, and it’ll open up communication.

I also recommend physical touch on the inside if that’s something you’re capable of and comfortable with. 90% of my interactions with the others are them coming up behind me when I’m fronting and ruffling my hair, rubbing my shoulders, slapping my ass, hugging me, etc because they know it helps comfort me and keep me calm. We find that the more we can touch in headspace the more we can communicate by… handing each other thoughts? It’s hard to explain, and it is different from communicating on the inside with words, but when Shekel and I were building the Council and debating who should be on it we were so co-conscious and overlapped on the inside it almost felt like we were having two trains of thought but we kept using our brains and each other’s to think with. I couldn’t tell if he was having a thought with my brain or if I was having a thought with his brain, but we were having ideas and discussing them without needing to say a word.

Lastly, written conversations are super helpful, but I’ve found some tricks. When co-con I like to still use discord or simply plural to write out a chat partially for posterity and partially because it’s easier to think when you’re not trying to think into someone’s brain. It really helps communication, but it can be hard to have a genuine conversation, especially if you don’t know each other well. It’s helpful to leave messages around for other headmates (ie a sticky note that says “you are safe” for any headmates that find themselves in front and are confused, or writing your shopping/to-do list on the body’s arm so everyone knows what’s supposed to be happening if they end up in front) but it’s hard to communicate through notes alone from our experience. That’s why I like to try and get them talking about themselves and their interests, it’s just a deeper bonding activity. We’re trying to pair our known headmates up into ones that specifically practice communicating with each other to better improve group cohesion, and I saw that Tamm was asking Lysander about his exomemories. They’ve never spoken directly that I know of, but they’re going to leave each other messages on simply plural until they become friends enough to communicate on the inside/more directly, and then if I want to talk to Lysander I can reach out to Tamm, who I tend to see more often.

Sorry this is so long, but good luck with communication and I hope this helps some! As always feel free to ignore any advice that doesn’t apply to or help you.

-Jay

Need to start working on getting better communication with the other's cause I'm getting anxious about not being able to have a full conversation with them and having a hard time contacting them.

I don't quite know where to start so any advice would be nice :)

Do any other hosts (especially ones that tend to be front stuck) feel like they don’t have an identity at all? Like, I know that I’m not Shekel, and I know that I’m not Monty, or Tamm, or *insert the list of headmates I know about* but I don’t know what I am.

I want to make a flowchart for when I’m blurry but I’m usually fronting on some level and I don’t know how to make an “Am I Jay?” section when I feel like the leftover scraps of everyone else. I don’t know what I look like on the inside because I figure I look like the body even though I have no connection to it (seriously, the not recognizing ourself in the mirror is bad).

I’m just the default setting. I know I’m a guy because of crippling dysphoria, and I like various things, but I have no way to figure out my identity when so much of it is other people.

I feel like its ok to only share the fun side of ur system if thats what u all comfortable with.

Seriously, not everyone wants to show and share their negative side system stuff with others. Us as an example, we don’t even share our name or anything in here bc its dangerous for us. Not to mention sharing the things we been personal gone through, which may use to harm us later.

But its also very brave and nice that some people willing to share they own personal experience to others! Thats very cool!!! <3

I was holding the hand of a little in co-con as we were walking and it was genuinely so weird to go at my walking pace. Like yeah we’re in the same body but they’re small and can’t keep up :((

*opens Discord*

*discovers “I” was sharing my poetry last night*

…..what.

It’s so much work to front when you haven’t in a while

Like, I’m glad to be back around, but Jay built up Bureaucracy (wow I didn’t know how to spell that) and I had to navigate like four things 😭

Idk man I’m just here to miss goats and wear tank tops I don’t wanna spend all my time formally joining and running The Council

But heyyyy if having a Council keeps us communicating it’s a good thing, so I can’t really complain

I just heard someone go "Oh yeah Onyx is a cool name" after seeing the name... It didn't sound like a familiar voice... Uh oh

There's a high chance it might've just been some guy we already know but-

We'll see

I cannot stress enough how freeing it is, as a system, to become chill with not knowing who you are.

There have been multi-week periods where we don’t know who we are, unsure if we’re somebody new or just one of the established people having a Weird Time. Usually it’s the latter.

We tend to front for extended periods of time (like, normally a minimum of three days, sometimes up to several months), and the confusing Unknown times can be just as long.

Like, I have no idea who the hell I am right now. I know a couple of people I’m not, and a few I might be, but that’s it. And that’s chill. I don’t need to know my name, I’m just sippin my cranberry juice and minding my own business. This is normal for us.

I see so many systems on here worried about somehow faking or fundamentally misunderstanding their experiences, because nobody else has talked about it, so it must not be real, right?

Just a reminder to systems with their own Weird Times: it’s ok to have experiences you’ve never seen in anyone else’s journey.

Being plural isn’t something easily categorized or broken down. If anything counts as wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff, it’s the experience of being multiple entities in one brain.

Your plurality is inherently unique, and there is no mold it could possibly fit. Don’t try to make it fit.

Plural POV #32

You find that most of your headmates are excellent company for toddlers - afterall, most of you are aquainted very well with people who are only now taking their first steps in this world, and have lots and lots and lots of simple, or annoying, or difficult, or complex questions to ask, and you know how to easily explain a lot of seemingly hard to grasp concepts because of that. Moreover, your sixth sense for when the littles are plotting trouble is really useful in such situations.

I figured out how to have sex with a couple of my headmates recently and I’m still super fascinated by it. I can’t really explain how it works, especially since I tend to be frontstuck and can barely go into the inner world, but I tend to overlap a lot with the ones who cofront, and me feeling sensations while also feeling their sensations while they were feeling my sensations was kinda insane. It’s also nice that in that level of cofronting our thoughts overlap some so we didn’t have to put things into words to discuss what we wanted, we just mutually agreed on what the dynamics were/what we were doing.

system protip: if trying to keep track of your switches and fragments feels impossible and is driving you crazy, stop doing it. or at the very least dont put as much weight into making it perfect. you dont need to track every switch, you dont need every fragment logged. sometimes its easier to just exist as a system than drive yourself up the wall trying to micromanage everything about your system

I’ve been trying to figure out if two of my lads are the same person at different times in their life, so I feel this xP neither of them know for sure but either it’s the sort of thing where they come as a set, one dark one light, or one of them is the first one with another thousand years of life and a corruption arc. No clue how to actually figure it out, but so far with us we’ve just been making sure that either option is equally okay and not worrying about it. By making sure it’s okay I mean that we acknowledge both possibilities and make sure no one expresses a preference - ie “I sure hope X is someone different from me because I don’t want to be him!” or “wouldn’t it be awesome if X and Y have been the same person all along??” because that pressure could hurt one of them if it ends up being true or not.

Hey I've been literally trying to figure this out for 3+ weeks, and I've yet to get any help from where I asked before so I decided to run to Tumblr finally and I found you so !! I guess I'll ask here, do you know how to figure out if you have two of the same alters in source ('doubles') with slight differences or if one alter has two different versions of the same source? (Ex. How to tell if I have Link & Blue Link, or does Link just have memories of both) For reference i have talked to this alter, this is his question, he cannot tell himself either

I actually haven't had any experience with this,but will try my best to help anyway!

I think knowing will likely come with time, but in the meantime, maybe try engaging with source in some way to see if maybe that could help establish some distinct differences between the two. Kind of see if you can get a "Hey that's me!" Moment.

Anyone else can feel free to add to this,maybe someone has a more in depth answer than I can give.

I hope ya'll can figure it out!

- Star,Oliver

I always find it so interesting what skills which headmates have. Like, Lysander has been so good at using our phone despite being from some historical or fantasy world, but the first time Damian tried to use simply plural he almost threw our phone in rage because he had a ton of trouble typing. He also sent a threatening message to himself which I find hilarious, not sure if it was on purpose or if he was trying to send it to someone else (wish I knew who he had beef with lol).

A server I’m on asked the question of which characters from a show everyone related to the most, and I was stumped before remembering that I’m not the only one in here and me an the lads relate to different ones 😭 suddenly all my crises over kinning wildly different characters makes sense

System Pinterest board? More like “here’s where we save art of hot guys with long hair who look like the host in hopes of persuading him to stop hacking our hair off every time he gets dysphoric” Pinterest board

I can’t get over how good of a depiction of plurality Haru is in the anime abridged show 50% Off. Like, it’s unique, but especially for a joke show it feels so reasonable and grounded, and is really non offensive imo?? There are some jokes about murdering people and one headmate tries to kill another at one point, but it’s not an “evil alter” trope, and the way the inner world, internal conversations, and power structures are set up feel so reasonable (I don’t know exactly how things are organized for my crew, communication is pretty ass at least with me, but if we don’t have a Council of Nine sort of thing I hope we get one someday for decision making and communication). The fact that they’re all copies of the same guy is not something I have experience with but is very very silly and not unreasonable either.

Is it OCD intrusive thoughts? Is it a hyperactive ADHD brain? Is it a headmate trying to communicate? Is it MaDD dialogue? Is it just a random thought?

I could hear a discussion happening nearby in the headspace when I was focusing on Tetris and I could tell it was important, or at least the two that were talking thought it was important, and I was casually listening along as they came to a decision, but then the moment my game finished it was yoinked from my brain like a dream fading the moment you wake up. It’s a bit D: to feel like there’s something I’m supposed to know, though I’m not sure if they knew I was listening or not

It's all fun and games until a system mate comes to Co-con while you're showering.

He wolf whistled at me and called me a "Tumblr sexyman"...

Goddamn it, Toya. /aff

There’s a chance our first fictive from a popular source will be Szeth son-son Vallano. Our only previous fictive is from a tiny tiny source so I need to get my feelings sorted out* before this presence I feel ends up becoming someone xP

*I just don’t know what it will be like to have a mainstream fictive, and uncertainty makes me anxious, of course I’ll treat any new headmates as well as possible

Luckily, I only know of one headmate who identifies as female (I the host am transmasc, physically transitioning the body), and unfortunately I don’t have good enough communication with her to really know how she feels about things, but the nonbinary ones I know of are chill with the body regardless of gender, though they like to present their own ways. Some of the other guys in here and I get really dysphoric, so I think transitioning was definitely the right choice, but to a point none of us will feel 100% comfortable, so it’s just something we have to live with (I feel so bad for the nonhumans, they get super dysphoric about being the wrong species, and it’s rough on our littlest one to be in a grown-up body). I don’t really have answers, but imo it’s a process and you’ll be able to figure out what works for you and your system in time <3

DID is fucking with my gender rlly bad and my friend said I should reach out so. Trans systems with complicated genders reblog so I know ur out there???

I would love to hear ur experiences bc I’m getting my ass kicked by gender