Feat. Max - Blog Posts

xx.

Cole had always been a loner. It never bothered him, really-- in school he was content to sit by himself at lunch with a book and in the back of every classroom to share the occasional snarky comment. But because of that, he really didn’t know how to handle conflict. He’d never really cared enough before to be bothered if he happened to piss someone off. But now, after everything he’d shared with Max and she’d shared with him, he felt pretty shitty about the way things had been left.

Not shitty enough to apologize-- he didn’t think he was wrong for sticking up for Adam-- but shitty enough to jump at the chance to talk to her. When Max called, he closed out his tab at The Hideaway and thanked his lucky stars that he’d skated instead of driven. An easy smile slid onto Cole’s lips at the familiar sight of Max skating in the dark. “Hey, Maxine,” he greeted, tucking his skateboard under his arm. His expression darkened as he got closer, immediately clocking the state of her face. “What the fuck?” he exclaimed, wrapping an uncertain arm around her in the half-hug. “Shut up. What happened?” he asked, ignoring her question. Things were weird, but he was still concerned about her. He’d always worry, probably. 

WHO: max mayfield & @loverboymontgomery​ WHAT: vibe check! WHERE: the skate park (where else)

although it seemed like neither one of them wanted to say it, things had been weird since they went to the weapons store with chance and adam. there weren’t any lines drawn in the sand that night, but max hadn’t been the most stoked to find them with such differing opinions of what was going on. she also hadn’t gone out of her way to talk to cole between then and now. but since she kind of got her shit rocked? rocked her own shit? at the junkyard, max was maybe able to chalk up that whole experience to tensions being high after a funeral. she didn’t fully buy into her own narrative though, so, she supposed she would have a more clear picture of where they stood after today. 

max finally swallowed her pride about the whole scene cole had made in adam’s name and called him up to meet her at the skatepark, after hours, of course. she was skating in and out of the empty bowl and blaring tina turner from her headphones when she spotted cole approaching. she stopped at the top of the bowl, paused her music, and slid her headphones off. “yo, walden.” she met him, trying to be as normal as possible. gently as possible, max scratched the side of her broken nose and asked him, “notice anything different?” she didn’t wait long for an answer before pulling cole into an uncomfortable side hug. did they hug often now? “what’s happening with you?” max asked, sitting down on the concrete. 

zccming​:

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“you take a hit like a dude.” max countered, feeling a momentary wave of relief as he returned the hug. his arm was warm, and heavy, and very much alive. he was alive. she pulled back, wincing herself when he pressed the ice pack against his torso. no way that felt good, but again, at least cole was there and breathing. max couldn’t be too upset with that outcome. she was sure it would hit her later, but she’d already shed a few silent tears in front of cole, she didn’t want to shed anymore. 

at his next comment, max’s brows rose as she looked at adam beside him, “what? you’re telling me you didn’t know he was here?” she rolled her eyes, relishing in the fact that this almost felt normal as she teased, “you’re fine. big baby. at least pretend you’re grateful i stole an ambulance for you.” she moved from the floor to a chair while cole reached for his water. she pulled her legs up into the chair with her and when cole asked if she was hurt, she flashed him her nasty looking hands. it hadn’t been related to the explosion, but it was an unavoidable truth. she had gotten hurt, a little. “i’m thinking about getting some boxing tape, i’ll look real tough.” max said dryly, then dropping her hands. cole’s next question left max mute. she shrugged, wanting to melt into the chair, “i didn’t see it all go down.” she admitted, “but, dustin said something about a bomb? and explosive fireworks? unbelievable.” sighing, she felt like she had to ask, “does that ring a bell to you?”

xx.

“It’s all those years of football,” Cole flexed the arm closes to her, pathetically. “I was a varsity athlete, you know... Technically,” he added before she could correct him. He took another sip of water, his throat burning at how much talking he was doing all of the sudden. But Cole didn’t care; he craved this sense of normalcy, even if it was just a distraction. He figured they were both owed that. Following her gaze to Adam asleep in the chair next to his bed, Cole’s expression softened. “Well, you were the one sobbing over me. Hard to notice anything else,” he joked. 

Cole choked out a laugh, “You stole an ambulance? Christ, Max. You’re compiling quite the record.” Concern flooded his face at the sight of her hands. “Max,” his tone was intentionally stern. “You need to get them looked at.” He motioned to the button by his bed, “We can call for a nurse. Then you can have your boxing tape.” The apprehension on Cole’s face only grew at Max’s mention of a bomb and fireworks. Admittedly, he didn’t remember much after the Tunnel of Love. He was preoccupied thinking Adam was going to die again; if he thought hard enough about it, he was sure he remembered Steve and Dustin arguing over something, mentioning ‘bomb’. 

“What the fuck,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Kind of...,” then he dropped his voice, not wanting Adam to hear his next words. “He was acting weird. Like before. He was fighting with me... physically. Telling me to leave him alone,” he confessed, hoping Max knew what it meant. Hoping more than anything that it was an easy fix, though the heaviness in his gut told him he knew better. 

zccming​:

cole stirred and max jumped up, gasped even. “i’m not fucking crying.” she said, defensive, but the wetness on her cheeks was undeniable. she didn’t care to argue the point though. cole was awake, he was fine as he could be, and that was enough. shuffling on her knees down closer to his head, max gingerly maneuvered her way into a hug, while somehow also avoiding adam. she didn’t apply any pressure, knowing the state he was in, but her arms fell limply and her head hovered above his chest as she explained, “you were so stupid i finally fucking snapped and beat this shit out of you.”

believe it or not, his jokes were appreciated. it was a sliver of normalcy amidst all the chaos, so, she figured, why not try to return the favor? “doc told me you weren’t gonna live.” max sighed. it wasn’t funny, there was nothing funny about any of this actually, but she wasn’t doing it to be funny, she was doing it to match cole’s energy, try to make him feel less alone with the burden of his injuries and the weight of some new trauma. “so thanks for saving me from a life sentence i guess.” she sighed, then finally lifted her body from it’s half hugging position, “how are you feeling?” max asked, then amended, “and don’t say like shit.”

xx.

Despite the pain and confusion, Cole smirked at Max’s defensive response. He looked at her tear-stained cheeks and rolled his eyes; this was always more comfortable than touchy-feely for them. As much as he could, Cole wrapped his free arm around Max to return the hug. “In that case... Fuck, Mayfield, you punch like a dude,” he pressed the ice pack to his sore ribs. 

Cole snorted at her continued antics. “Waking up and seeing you first thing? Not sure I’d call that living.” He reached over and swatted her arm, taking advantage of his status as unwell. At least now she couldn’t hit him back. Cole opened his mouth to respond and clamped it shut at her additional instruction.  “Rumor has it I’ll live,” he managed, before reaching for his water. His throat was dry, and he wasn’t sure the raspiness was sexy at this point. “You were there, too. Are you hurt?” he asked, inspecting her face as he took a long gulp. “What happened?” he asked, voice soft enough to indicate that he was done joking. 

As he began blinking awake, Cole’s memories from the fucking carnival from hell began to resurface. He saw Lucas crumped on the ground, Jack shoving him away, Adam yelling at him to leave him the fuck alone. But then he woke up and the first thing he saw was Adam, their arms intertwined, blonde head bobbing up and down as he snored. Cole squeezed his eyes shut. Was it a dream? Why did he remember a bomb? An explosion? It was all making his head hurt. 

Cole must’ve fallen back asleep, because the next time he opened his eyes, Max was there. She was holding his other hand and mumbling something. He shifted, trying to sit up, and instantly regretted it. Pain shot through his abdomen and he groaned. His movement caused a barely-cold icepack to shift off of his ribcage; had he broken a rib? 

With a weak smile, Cole turned his gaze to Max. “Tell me you’re not crying over me, asshole.” His throat was painfully brittle, and he attempted to swallow to make it easier to speak up. “The fuck did you do to me, Maxine?” he asked, a piss poor excuse for a joke, and squeezed his eyes shut again in an attempt to stop the pounding in his head. 

WHO: max mayfield & @loverboymontgomery​ WHAT: max checks on cole WHERE: hospital </3

max had been lingering in the hospital for around twelve hours now and had no intentions of leaving any time soon. herself, dustin, and max, worked in shifts, using steve’s room as base. she was in and out a lot, mostly to cry, but sometimes to check on the status of her other friends who had been admitted last night. it was nearing ten-thirty in the morning when max took a break. she went to cole’s room first, after a nurse told her he woke up between now and her last break. anything that stood between her and that door got shoved out of the way or fully knocked over until she was on her knees beside his bed. 

unfortunately, cole was out again when she entered his room. she clocked adam’s close proximity, who was also asleep. not wanting to disturb them too much, but at least see how cole was doing for herself, she took the hand of his that wasn’t occupied and grabbed it with both of hers, then set her forehead on top of it. she sat like that for a second, listening to the chorusing of the heart monitor. all good signs, all good, but still, she found herself wanting to cry again. max rubbed her lips together, then whispered, not intending for cole to hear her, “hey, fucking…stupid shithead…” she mumbled, “i leave for one night and you land yourself in the hospital? geez.” she laughed wryly, a tear slipping out. a life without cole flashed across her mind. it wasn’t one she was interested in seeing. this blows, she thought. sitting up, max wiped the couple of tears that snuck up on her, then rubbed her tired eyes, “i’m glad you’re okay…” she continued in her quiet tone, “and i’m so kicking your ass when you get out of here.” 

𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐘

WHO: max mayfield & @loverboymontgomery WHAT: after max and cole hop of their walkies, max shows up, heart to hearts are had, and the glimpses of each other in their own behaviors become abundantly apparent (aka colemax mirrors w hints of lumax and richgomery) WHERE: the montgomery residence, july 1st-ish

Keep reading

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙻 #𝟶𝟶𝟼: cole & max

MAX: yeah, your timing was shit i won't lie.

MAX: why would that be a dick move? he's still your boyfriend isn't he?

MAX: [simultaneously] don't think too much about it.

MAX: exactly.

MAX: i'll see you in an hour, loser?

COLE: not thinking about it

COLE: trying not to think about it

COLE: ... see you in an hour

COLE: am I supposed to say over?

END.

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙻 #𝟶𝟶𝟼: cole & max

MAX: gross.

MAX: how were you supposed to know this would happen?

MAX: i don't know, for once, i don't think it's your fault.

MAX: but maybe i'm biased.

MAX: also not convinced talking works, so, are you really missing out or whatever...?

MAX: do you want me to pick up a movie? give your lazy ass some extra time?

COLE: i mean, yeah... fair point.

COLE: i think it's more like... my timing was really awful

COLE: and then i went and put on his sweatshirt which was kind of a dick move.

COLE: i don't know. i can't think about it anymore

COLE: yeah a movie would be cool. maybe i'll shower for you or something

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙻 #𝟶𝟶𝟼: cole & max

MAX: ew

MAX: since when do you know religion freak?

MAX: oh.

MAX: well, you are an asshole, but not for this. was the situation a lapse in taste? definitely, but you didn't do anything wrong or whatever.

MAX: i'm guessing adam didn't take it well?

COLE: my grandparents dragged me to church like, once

COLE: yeah.

COLE: i mean, technically i didn't, but... it sucked.

COLE: i don't think he's like, mad. hurt, probably?

COLE: i don't know. we haven't talked and i'm trying not to freak out.

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙻 #𝟶𝟶𝟼: cole & max

MAX: do you have windows? i'm pretty good with windows.

MAX: what are you talking about? you know im useless with science.

MAX: yeah i can tell.

MAX: well, you have like, fifteen minutes to tell me about it now, or you can wait until i get there.

COLE: it's not science, maxine. it's religion

COLE: or something...

COLE: i told adam...

COLE: we were going to that keg thing and Thad was going to be there and

COLE: i panicked and told him right before

COLE: i'm an asshole

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙻 #𝟶𝟶𝟼: cole & max

MAX: sorry. i'll try again.

MAX: [clearing her throat]

MAX: dickwad, are you there?

MAX: geez, sound more excited to see me.

MAX: it's gonna take me a second to skate there from downtown.

MAX: are you like, good?

COLE: i could lock the door

COLE: if i'm leaving the door open, assume there's some excitement

COLE: sorry i'm not like singing the doxology or something

COLE: [sigh]

COLE: i'm in a shitty mood. it's not your fault

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙻 #𝟶𝟶𝟼: cole & max

MAX: cole? do you copy?

MAX: i hope you're home because i just got off work and i'm headed right there, loser.

COLE: max? I don't know all the lingo.

COLE: what the fuck does 'copy' mean?

COLE: .... but yeah, i'm here. maybe, uh, give me a minute?

zccming​:

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if max hadn’t been so pleased with cole’s vow towards safety, there was a one hundred percent chance she would have wacked him across the chest for touching her. but this go around, just this once, she welcomed it. she closed her eyes, simply grateful to have him near. after taking a moment to convince herself that he would make good on that promise and be careful she flashed him a small smile and clapped her hand over his, “thanks.” and that was that. 

it was much easier to throw herself into teasing conversations. it wasn’t difficult for max to find a good time, but it did take some concentration to force herself to stay in the moment now and again. that being said, the information that cole dropped into her lap fully grabbed her attention. she had been expecting cole to stumble to come up with a full five people, so when he not only did that, but also name dropped steve and eddie, max’s jaw dropped, “shut the fuck up!” the back of her hand came into harsh contact with cole’s chest, “you’re joking.” she levelled with him. when it became abundantly clear that cole was being honest, she turned her head and curiously leaned in a little closer, “what the fuck? when?” screw adam and luke from college and also nancy’s boyfriend? there was no judgement to be found in max’s expression or in her tone, merely shock from apparently being severely out of the loop. regardless, she was fully invested now and swore her own secrecy with a zipping motion over her lips, “it will. i can keep quiet.” 

the reveal had been a nice reprieve, but matters circled back to billy, as they always seemed to these days, and max’s expression darkened. she hunched over, slightly more protective of her body as she divulged cole with details from her own life. “it’s cool, you didn’t force the asshole to come back.” she shrugged, picking up a pebble from the ground and fixing her eyes on it while she rolled it between her thumb and index finger. max sighed, shaking her head, then throwing the pebble into the distance, “he’s staying in the living room.” she looked back to cole. did she really need to say more than that? max didn’t seem to think so. 

cole’s unspoken offer to not talk about what happened with el was snatched up by max in record time and replaced with the sharp and giddy jabbing of her elbow into his ribs, “really good? like, you’re dating good? or what? i wanna know!” she’d been moody enough for one conversation and she’d caught a sudden wave of energy that she was finding to be extremely helpful in her enthusiastic efforts. 

the suggestion of breaking into melvald’s left max scoffing, “yeah, right. not my brightest moment.” she rolled her eyes and ashed her cigarette. despite the criticism of her past idea, max offered an equally as bad, but much more fresh one, “do you think we could get away with spray painting the police station? like what are the odds we pull it off?”

xx.

“Ow,” Cole groaned, rubbing his chest where Max had hit him. It wasn’t that hard, he just liked to make a point. He wondered for a moment if he should be offended that Max was so shocked, but the question passed when she asked for details. He knew she wasn’t judging him-- that had never been a factor in their friendship-- so he allowed himself to crack a smile. It was pretty ridiculous, after all.

“Steve was a while ago-- couple months, maybe. At some party; well, in his car outside of some party,” he admitted. “Eddie was... at the Blue Quarry Mall party, thing. Before your arrest, obviously,” Cole noted. “And Thad was a few weeks ago. That was weird,” his brow furrowed. He still didn’t know what to make of it, and he’d taken to pushing it out of his mind now that Adam was back. Cole nodded, relief passing over him at her promise to keep it secret. Obviously, he needed to tell Adam, but... it hadn’t come up. Truthfully, he was afraid it would change things, or change the way Adam viewed him. Cole really couldn’t take that. He couldn’t even entertain the thought.

He watched as Max’s body language shifted dramatically. Cole had never gotten details on what her and Billy’s relationship was like, other than he was an asshole, but how she was acting now was all he needed to know. “Goes without saying, but if you need to crash, my house is open. My mom loves you anyways,” he said, hoping she would take the offer. Or any offer really, just something that would put distance between her and Billy. Cole got a bad feeling in his gut when he thought about them staying together in the already-cramped trailer. It felt like playing with fire. 

At Max’s sudden change, Cole quirked an eyebrow. But whatever, maybe it was her way of signaling that she’d had too much of the heavy stuff, so he went along with it. A laugh escaped Cole’s lips, “Yeah? I mean, yes. We haven’t like explicitly talked about it, but...” Cole shrugged. “Not to be gross, but he’s my future. He’s it.” It was a funny question, he realized in retrospect, because Cole wouldn’t call Adam his ‘boyfriend’-- that felt too high school. Adam meant more to him than that, but he didn’t know how to put it into words. Hopefully Max got the gist.

Cole openly scoffed at Max’s new-and-improved suggestion. “Christ, Mayfield. Are you trying to get arrested again so soon?” Not that he had a better idea. “Why don’t we, like, break into Harrington’s pool or something else that won’t get us handcuffed.”

zccming​:

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“the grave had nothing to do with me.” max reminded cole. she wouldn’t try too hard to defend the idea she wouldn’t yell at him for using sign language too loud, or that she hadn’t indirectly been the cause of his broken finger, so she’d settle with acknowledging the one thing she could deny. while it was evident that cole was joking, she couldn’t seem to pick up the pace and get into the mood. instead, her voice came out as a surprising lecture, “you and lucas need to be careful. seriously.” the heeding was unexpected, but sincere. since childhood, max felt like her life was moving in a rapid, downward spiral. she didn’t want to think about how much worse it could get if anything happened to lucas or cole. her concern and care wasn’t often displayed so openly, but in this moment, she locked eyes with cole, expressing the full force of her love.

“lots?” max laughed in his face, shaking off the seriousness of the prior conversation. “fine. name five. go.” she demanded, a smile ghosting across her features. she wasn’t sure if cole could give her a genuine answer, but whatever he came up with was sure to ease the mood towards normalcy. 

still, max couldn’t find herself fully present. not about adam, not about cole’s smile. he didn’t know just how bad things could get around here and she hoped it would stay that way. she wouldn’t burden him with her feelings about billy or urge him to be more skeptical about adam. it was like interacting with a child who hadn’t been able to comprehend what atrocities their parent had just watched on the seven o’clock news. max could tack a lot of adjectives to cole’s name, but she never thought she’d use innocent. 

with the flick of her cigarette, she shrugged at cole when he dug a little deeper about billy. “i’m wondering the same thing.” vague as ever she took another drag and stared off into the night. max hoped if they left it at that though, maybe he’d understand a flash of her misery and leave it be. if there was anyone she felt she could allow herself to be miserable with, it was cole. god knows it was one of the foundations of their friendship. wanting to show she had been listening to him too, she asked, “what about adam? how’s…that?”

then of course, there was the matter of el and her’s kiss, which was an entirely different layer of stress. “well, not like i hoped.” the kiss itself had been good, really good. so good it scared her. but the events that followed tainted the memory, “she like, ran away from me.” max sighed, “i guess i must’ve been bad or whatever.” she joked wryly, gaze falling to the blooming cherry on the end of her cigarette. “i think she might hate me.” she truthfully didn’t know and she wasn’t sure what she was seeking to gain by sharing this with cole, but the more they talked about it, she thought maybe she merely wanted to share. 

frustrated with her own moping, she shifted gears and asked cole, “so what are we getting up to tonight?” implying, im not feeling up to sleep. 

xx.

“I didn’t claim it did,” He corrected, though he was teasing. For all of his young life, Cole had desperately wanted a sibling; someone to talk to when he was home all day. Max had filled that void in a lot of ways-- she was always around, it seemed, and always ready to argue with him. Except today. Today her concern for him, the affection she usually buried way down deep, was on the surface. “Yeah, I’ll be more careful. Promise,” he said, her expression reason enough to save his snarky response for another time. Cole reached over and squeezed her knee, perhaps the only display of affection he could give without fear of being hit. 

Cole smirked, took a drag of his cigarette, and shrugged. “This stays between us,” he said, an air of faux-seriousness glancing over his features. “But... I have it on good authority that Steve, Eddie and Adam think I’m pretty irresistible,” he paused, not meeting her eyes for the next confession. “Also... Nancy’s boyfriend. And this guy Luke from college.” He couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. He and Adam hadn’t talked about it yet, but Cole hoped he wouldn’t be hurt. He’d thought Adam was dead after all, surely that gave him the right to at least try and move on? And it’s not like any of these flings compared to what he and Adam had, what they would always have. “I know that I can trust that this will stay between us,” Cole reminded Max, raising an eyebrow. The last thing he needed was to be the person who had outed Steve or Eddie or, worse, Thad. 

Settling back into a relaxed position, Cole watched Max’s face out of the corner of his eye. At once, he knew that her feelings about Billy returning were the exact opposite from his feelings about Adam being back. Warranted, based on what he knew about Billy. It felt strange; for once, Max’s misery was something Cole didn’t share. Not that he couldn’t relate, but he couldn’t commiserate like usual. He felt a pang of guilt, not wanting her to feel alone with him. “I know you’re not asking for an apology, but... I am sorry about Billy. Where is he living?” Cole asked, worried about the answer.

Cole couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his mouth in response to Max’s question. It really was insufferable how in love he was, but he tried to tone it down-- it felt inappropriate to be over-the-top right now. “It’s been really good. Obviously really confusing... But I’m trying not to focus on that. Maybe that’s dumb, given everything, but...” Cole shrugged. If anyone would understand, he figured it would be Max. At least, she would try to understand. 

God, Cole desperately wished Max could say that the kiss was everything she’d wanted, that it had been received well. He wished Max could catch a break. Breathing out a cloud of smoke, Cole was reminded of his experience with Thad. How Thad had kissed him and run, and the look in his eyes when he left; anger, sure, but beyond that, it was fear. “I don’t think she hates you,” Cole said. “Maybe she’s scared,” he offered, his voice soft. “Maybe... she didn’t know what it meant and it was easier to run from it right now. Not everyone can be as self aware and well-adjusted as us,” Cole added with a joking smile. He shrugged and lifted his cigarette to his lips, as if to say we don’t have to talk about it. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Cole jumped to his feet and stuck his hand out for Max. “I don’t know... wanna break into Melvald’s?” He smiled mischievously, remembering their Memorial Day antics. “Unless you have a better idea.”

zccming​:

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“well, maybe you shouldn’t be so loud when you come around. whisper…or…knock on the window, like a normal person.” max suggested as if it were simple math. her shoulders seemed to unwind as cole turned the music down. as much as she protested about it, that smile did minorly aid in lifting her spirits. as a thank you to cole, she punched him in the arm as he called her an asshole and let that fire die out with a “yeah, yeah. sure i am.” still. she saw the look of concern in his eyes and felt a brief twinge of regret for spilling about the upside down to him. max mayfield was not a girl who liked to be treated as fragile. 

fortunately for their friendship, cole knew better and offered her a cigarette in lieu of questions. much better. she lit it and began puffing away. “irresistible?” max scoffed, “yeah, right. who said that? your mom?” she teased, taking another drag. this was peaceful. it was one thing in her life that felt normal right now. at least when the tides were changing in hawkins, max had the comfort that her and cole would stay the same. “adam?” she verified. yeah, she’d heard about that commune. she couldn’t fake a smile for cole granted those were the same circumstances that allegedly brought billy back to her doorstep. max knew he died, but billy, billy didn’t seem to think so. she didn’t know what to make of that. instead of digging into the mystery, she threw him the meager bone of, “i heard. that’s great.” he must be so happy, she thought. she didn’t want to spit on his moment. 

clearly, cole had some fears though. max shrugged, “i mean, i definitely don’t feel as excited about my shithead step-brother being back home.” her tone was flat, not indicating how much it really rocked her. diverting the focus back to cole, she told him more sincerely, “i’m glad you have adam back.” it was her turn to look up at the stars and smoke now. what’s up with you, mayfield? sighing, she looked back down at him, “i kissed el.” talk about a shitshow.

xx.

Cole leveled another dramatic sigh in Max’s direction. “Even if I learned sign language, you’d complain about the sound of my hands.” As much as they picked on each other, Cole usually knew how to decode Max. But tonight, there was something else going on-- something he couldn’t figure out. He faked a wince when she punched him, holding his arm. “Listen, I already broke my finger for you and got a fucking concussion from falling into a grave, what more do you want from me?” he protested, though the glimmer in his eye proved that he was joking.

Taking a puff of his cigarette, Cole leaned back on his arms. “Lots of people. I can name names,” he fired back, jutting his chin out to make his point. It was a nice night, which is part of why Cole had originally come to the skate park. It was rare to be outside without the heat making everything sticky, and he fully intended to take advantage of it, and he’d been wanting to update Max, anyways. But her response was weird. It was like she hadn’t heard what he said. Or her mind was elsewhere.

Before he could repeat himself-- hello? Adam is back?-- Max continued, and Cole’s face fell. Billy Hargrove. He was back, too? Thinking about it, Cole had heard that Billy had been off in some community in the woods... “That asshole’s back? Why?” Cole asked, shelving the Adam conversation for now. It was better this way; no questions about how Adam came back to life meant no sending him back to the grave. Hopefully. 

Then, another bomb from Max Mayfield. “Seriously?” he exclaimed, sitting up straight and turning to look at her. “What was it like? How do you feel?” 

zccming​:

it wasn’t uncommon to find max mayfield skating the streets of hawkins at night. whether she be getting off work late, or needing to clear her head, there was a high chance she’d be lurking around somewhere once the sun had set. tonight, it had been the latter. her supernatural past had been weighing on her mind more than usual and something that always seemed to clear it up was taking to the streets while they were still. she could zip by on her board without judgement from onlookers. it was the best in summer and there wasn’t a trace of a chill. and now, with billy back, it was a nice place to escape from his…well, everything. 

her peace had been rudely disturbed when she neared the skatepark and could hear kate bush echoing through the streets. max instantly came to a stop. fuck. she couldn’t spot a clock anywhere, so she was clear on that front. other than the goosebumps on her skin, nothing seemed to be wrong. since when was she so skittish? mostly irritated, but still slightly scared, she followed the sound of the music, holding her board in her hands as a weapon. when she pulled up on the park and saw cole, she dropped her guard and yelled at him, “fucking asshole! you couldn’t have stopped by my trailer or something?” 

but it wasn’t his fault. he didn’t know. max had only disclosed so much. prior to her lashing out, he actually looked kind of excited. “hey…” she breathed out, setting her board down, then sitting on it. while she might’ve been a wreck in billy’s wake, at least cole looked good. healthier than she’d ever seen him, like someone had straight up injected a shot of life into his veins. slightly bitter, she rolled her eyes, “wipe that smile off your face, you look dumb.” max made quick work to pull out a lighter and held out her two fingers for cole to place a cigarette between them, “what’s up with you, montgomery?” 

xx.

Cole shook his head when Max yelled at him, throwing his hands up in faux exasperation. “Everytime I come by your trailer, you yell at me for being too loud or waking up your mom,” he countered, though he turned the volume on his boombox down. “You’re the asshole,” he corrected, the hint of a smile still on his face. As she got closer, Cole studied her face. Max looked irritated, beyond her normal homeostasis of annoyance. He didn’t dare ask what was wrong and risk having his head bit off, but Cole shot her a concerned glance. 

Following Max’s lead, Cole sat next to her on his board. Rolling his eyes, he placed a cigarette in her hand, taking a puff of his own. “Not true. I have it on good authority that my smile is irresistible,” he quipped. Cole glanced upwards at the stars, mulling over her question. He knew Max, of all people, wouldn’t be freaked out by the news that Adam was back... but he worried that she might ask too many questions, try to figure it out. Head still tilted upwards, Cole spoke: “It’s Adam. He’s back.” 

Blowing out a cloud of smoke, Cole diverted his gaze to his hands. “And I don’t know why or how, but I don’t exactly want to go poking around into it.” His words were hurried, his fear of losing Adam again apparent in his tone. “But I figured you would get it.” Cole shrugged, stretching his arm out in front of him so he could study the lit end of the cigarette. A beat passed in silence before he finally asked, “What’s up with you, Mayfield?” 

who: cole & @zccming​​

where: the skate park

Cole hadn’t seen Max since Adam had gotten back. In fact, the last time they’d hung out was when she’d told him all about the alternate universe underneath Hawkins... what had she called it? The Upside Down? Admittedly, he’d found it hard to believe at first, but then Adam came back to life. He has since decided that everything Max told him was true, and had told Adam that Max might have answers about how and why he’s back. Though, Cole didn’t like the idea of asking too many questions. He was afraid something would go wrong and he would lose Adam again. He couldn’t lose Adam again. 

Lost in thought, Cole pulled up to the skatepark and lit a cigarette. In an attempt to attract Max, he’d brought a portable boombox and slipped a Kate Bush CD he’d borrowed from work into it. For some reason, Max was always listening to it, but he hoped to use that to his benefit tonight. 

Cole rolled his cigarette around with his fingers before standing up and skating circles around the small park. He was a bundle of nervous energy. He knew it was maybe paranoia, but every time he wasn’t in the vicinity of Adam, he feared he’d made it all up and that Adam was still dead. Maybe this was a psychotic break. Pushing a strand of hair out of his face, Cole glanced up to see a figure carrying a skateboard walking towards him. He squinted and, even in the dark, recognized her gait.

“Hey stranger,” he waved, a genuine smile overtaking his face. He couldn’t wait to tell her. 

zccming​:.

“not physically under it.” max corrected, not thinking of how she was likely contributing to cole’s ever growing confusion. “it’s like, physics or something. it was another dimension, that looked just like hawkins, under hawkins…but it was …bad?” she sighed. even now, max’s grasp of logistics on the upside down were slim, there’s only so much of the unexplainable one can understand. but even then, what she knew was far more than cole did. 

max mayfield wasn’t one to be known for her incredible tact. if she was going to lay out the facts for cole, she was going to lay them out cut and dry, and she’d handle any questions that might come up as they did. “lucas knows, steve knows.” she repeated, then added, “and nancy, and jonathan, and hopper, and robin, and mike, and dustin, and–” max stopped herself, figuring he got the point. “and a lot of us.” she finished. the further they moved from talks of adam, the less gentle max felt she had to be, “a monster took him.” god, she really did sound crazy. “i wasn’t there but, his mom and hopper pulled him out i guess.” 

max waited, intensely staring at cole while he mulled over whether or not he wanted to hear the next part. static filled her ears rather than the sound of her radio, like her body knew before her brain that this next bit of information would be the most difficult to divulge. i’m just in shock, i think. “it’ll pass.” max promised, a familiar and distant look glossing over her gaze. she wouldn’t tell him the fear he might meet on the other side, the pain. if they were lucky, maybe cole’s journey with the hawkins curse would start and end with this shock. 

“remember when my arm was broken?” max sucked in a breath. i almost died felt a little too harsh, “there was this…i guess…” she let her head drop, afraid that if she even mentally revisit that period of time, vecna would somehow pop up in her mind. seldom did she talk about what had happened in the wake of it all. feeling paranoid, max wordlessly stood up and switched out the cassette in her radio to the hounds of love album, just in case. “another monster killed chrissy, fred, and patrick.” she said flatly, plopping back down and working overtime at picking the skin around her nails to soothe herself, “he would basically attack with like, your worst nightmare, he wanted to destroy hawkins, needed to kill four people to do it.” max broke her eye contact with cole, staring past him and at the wall, “i was supposed to be the fourth, but like i said, we killed him. avenged everyone. the end.” 

xx.

Cole could feel his mind stretching, trying to hold all of this information. An alternate universe was one thing, but an alternate universe that was an evil Hawkins? That so many people he knew had been to? That was entirely another thing. 

He thought back to when Will went missing, and tried to imagine Joyce and Hopper pulling him out of another realm. How had they even discovered it? And, once again, why Hawkins? Cole would think that if some supernatural force was going to replicate a place it would be somewhere like Chicago at least.

“Okay, sure,” Cole said, a pathetic attempt at affirming all that Max had said. At least he could take comfort in knowing that she was in his shoes too, so she knew what it felt like to be thrown into all of this. He winced when she mentioned her broken arm; He couldn’t imagine being hunted by some supernatural being... much less surviving and having to live with that knowledge. Even thinking about it made Cole want to get high.

“God, Max...” he wanted to apologize, but he figured she’d scoff at him. “How the fuck do you just, like, move on from that?” he asked, taking a puff and passing the joint to her. It sounded like she needed it more than him.

Despite the fear and the whirlwind of new information, Cole was fixating on one fact: Adam had been possessed. That’s why they’d gotten in that fight. That’s what had killed him. It wasn’t good news, per se, but it definitely helped explain the last week of Adam’s life. It comforted Cole in a weird way, almost like it gave him permission to grieve Adam as a lover and not an ex-boyfriend. 

An uneasy feeling crept down Cole’s spine. He tried to keep his tone neutral, not wanting her to think she’d freaked him out, but he couldn’t help asking: “Do you think everything is ... gone?” He was afraid he knew the answer.

THE END

zccming​:

don’t cry. max’s heart screamed in her chest, but she didn’t say anything, merely kept holding cole’s hands while he digested. while he processed. she was acutely aware of the fact she was forever altering his perception of reality, she didn’t take it lightly. she watched his expressions play out across his face like she was watching a movie, curious as to what was going to happen, trying to absorb all the information she could. “the mind flayer, yeah.” max echoed, confirming he’d said it correctly. she had fully prepared herself for cole to push back against what she was saying, the first time lucas tried to tell her, she resisted. but he’s surprised her. i don’t think you’re crazy.

“okay.” max breathed out, nodding as a sort of thanks. she wasn’t shocked by the questions, but she definitely hadn’t prepared herself on how to answer. “i don’t know.” she told cole. there hadn’t been time when they were actively fighting off the mind flayer to do a deep dive into how it flayed. “and i don’t know. i wish i knew why hawkins, or how, but i don’t.” max added, starting to feel her throat tighten. “but i guess it started with will, when he went missing, before i moved here.” she answered him in slow fragments, knowing each piece of information would be a blow of it’s own. “there’s…like…this world under hawkins, or there was. it’s called the upside down and it’s where will went.” she looked down at her knees, staring for a moment as she tried to wrangle all her thoughts. “lucas told me, the year i moved. i thought he was full of shit.” she answered, making it sound much more simple than it was, “then i saw stuff from the upside down for myself, i went there. did you know that steve’s pretty mean with a baseball bat?“ she recalled vaguely. 

 “i watched the mind flayer kill billy.” she blurted, tears prickling in her own eyes, “at starcourt.” then as if it might help she offered a twisted assurance, “i’m sure adam’s death wasn’t painful.” she didn’t know if that was true, but she liked to believe that it was. “like…flicking off a switch. it was over.” there was no more sarcasm or jokes to be found behind max’s words, only the uncomfortable truth, and fear of how cole was going to take it. she let it linger for a long moment, then eventually let go of cole’s hands and ran her own over her face, stiff at the memories. stressed. hesitantly, max offered, “there’s more that happened, after the mall, if you want to hear about chrissy and all them.“ she held her breath, "and if you don’t, i guess, know that we avenged adam and the others. that stuff is gone now.”

xx.

Cole had to actively try to keep listening. He wanted to know everything and he had no shortage of questions, but his brain felt like a feedback loop, connecting: Billy was different before to Mindflayer to Will going missing to ‘I watched the Mindflayer kill Billy’ and back again. He felt like she might as well be speaking to him in Latin-- she was saying so many familiar words, but he couldn’t understand them. For a former gifted student, it was an infuriating feeling. 

“A world under Hawkins,” he repeated, slowly, desperately trying to conjure up an image of an underground world. He felt like his head was going to explode. “Lucas knows? And Steve?” he asked, half-listening for an answer and half-stuck on deciphering what any of this meant. If it wasn’t Latin, it was hieroglyphics. “What.... is the Upside Down?” It was horrifying to think of a young Will stuck in an alternate dimension alone. “How did Will get out?” Then, a more horrifying thought. “How did Will get in?”

He nodded, trying to find comfort in Max’s words. He hoped it was true, that Adam’s death hadn’t been painful or agonizing--not that he would ever know. He sat in silence for a minute, staring at the wall just past Max. Did he want to know? He figured it was best to hear... whatever it was from Max, anyways. “I... yeah. I want to know. I’m just in shock, I think,” he explained, though he was sure she already knew that. 

zccming​:

.

cole was handing her hard hitting question after hard hitting question, max didn’t quite know how to take them, let alone answer them. it would be something she’d have to sit with for a while before she got comfortable enough to share an answer. she was sure cole would understand. el was one of many sensitive topics max mayfield kept close to her heart. she didn’t bother explaining that to him as cole began to share more about adam. it didn’t take long for a heavy guilt to blanket her room. max felt a vague crushing in her chest, like the weight was too much, she couldn’t breathe. “give me that.” she snapped, taking the joint from cole, then puffing on it for an extra long time. she’d need to brace herself for this conversation. apparently, getting high with cole was a very dangerous game. 

she looked him in his eyes, nervous. she had been quiet for too long. it was suspicious, there was no hiding now. “cole…” max handed him back the joint, “i….at the mall…” she was struggling to find the words. as she stumbled, she reached for both of his hands and grasped them firmly. it would likely be a minimal comfort, but it was the least she could think to do, “i lied to you. billy was different before the fire.” she was only scratching the surface, but she figured it might be best to rip the whole bandaid off for cole rather than deliver shocking blow after blow, “and i know why adam was different, too…it…adam wasn’t the one who broke up with you…” fearing that cole would be angry, or might think she was crazy, max bit down firmly on the inside of her check, “him, and billy, and…the others…they were sort of possessed. by this thing called the mind flayer.” she minimally covered all of her bases, still gripping cole’s hands when she was done. trying to get a read on his thoughts, she intensely watched his expression as she asked, “do you think i’m crazy?” 

max didn’t offer up an apology, she didn’t regret hiding it from cole, but it was time he knew. the more he spoke about adam, the more max learned, it seemed only fair that the full picture be painted. that being said, max knew the whole thing sounded like a crock of bullshit, so she wanted cole to know, “you can ask questions, or for proof, or whatever. i know it’s kind of a lot to hear. i didn’t believe it at first. but i’m telling you the truth.”

xx.

Cole wasn’t surprised that Max didn’t answer his questions right away; he hadn’t really expected her to. If anything, he just hoped she knew he was a safe space to talk about her true feelings, in the same way she had been for him. He was surprised by he sudden mood change though. Handing the joint over with no protest, Cole cast her a sidelong glance. He was about to ask what was wrong when she broke the silence.

When Max took his hands, Cole straightened his back, his stomach swirling. But neither the anxiety nor the frantic guesses about what she was going to say could have prepared him. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and Cole was unable to keep them from falling. He felt a strange sense of relief. That really wasn’t Adam. He’d blamed himself for so long, only to find out that it wasn’t him. Cole searched Max’s face for any hint of a smile, anything to show she was pulling his leg-- but she was sincere. “Mind... flayer?” he repeated, slowly. The words felt strange coming out of his mouth. It made sense, in theory-- Adam’s dark eyes, his sudden cruelty, the silent treatment-- but this made no sense. “I don’t think you’re crazy,” Cole said, though he felt like his brain was in overdrive. 

With her prompting, Cole let his questions flow: “How did this thing possess them? And why them? And why Hawkins? This is insane.” As things continued clicking in his mind, Cole wondered how long Max had known, and what her involvement was. “How do you know all of this?” he asked, more quietly. He felt protective over Max all of the sudden, and he was afraid of her answer.

zccming​:

.

“a shrink.” max echoed with a laugh, “boys are so dramatic.” and it was true, not about his feelings, but for believing there was something wrong with them. big hypocrite thing of her to say, but the rules were different when placed on his shoulders. she didn’t think cole needed a shrink, not for what he had with adam, and not for missing it. sometimes, max felt like grief was her best friend in place of el, so she couldn’t judge how it’s cruelty made anyone feel. but she was high, and she was curious, and it was cole. stuck in her head, max remained laying on her back even when he flipped over, but she still eyed him closely when she spoke, “moving here really sucked for me…” she opened up, something must have been in the air. “and mike and lucas and dustin and will are all really awesome, but it hasn’t always been like that. you know i mean, they’re guys, it’s different. i had to weasel my way into their circle. but then el came along and everything clicked and just like that she was gone again and now she’s back and–” max started feeling like she had never said so many words at once, so she stopped her stoned ramblings, closed her eyes tightly, and forced herself to reset. 

max thought back to the conversation her and cole had at blue quarry mall, how he’d come clean on accident, and how relieved he looked when he had. max wondered what that felt like, to let it all go and free fall for a moment into the arms of someone she trusted. she opened her eyes, then slowly turned onto her side to face cole, “i’ve been really confused about my feelings lately.” she admitted, sure he was familiar with the feeling. “and you’re a shithead but not about this stuff.” max added, then revealed, “i think i’ve always known i’ve liked girls.” the air left her lungs as she waited for a response. thanks to the weed, this revelation didn’t feel so world ending, in fact, max felt calm, ready for cole’s reaction. she was so mellowed in fact, she added, “but with el it’s different…what you said about missing adam… when she was gone, that’s how i felt.” max couldn’t really explain to cole how she spent half the time speculating eleven was dead, but she hoped he could feel her sincerity. stupidly, she concluded, “but i don’t know what that means.” 

xx.

Cole laughed, allowing himself to flop onto his back and stare at the ceiling. Max had a point, but he found that it was easier to joke about the pain than to sit with it. He remembered right after Adam died, when he went to visit Adam’s sisters. He’d snuck into Adam’s room and stolen a few shirts, a photo, random artifacts that proved to him that what they had was real. He thought about that now, wondered if Max felt the same way when El was gone. Cole offered a sad smile, he knew completely how that felt... well, up to the him coming back part. “Honestly? I think some connections are like that. There’s a distinct before and after... people you’ll never be the same after meeting and loving them,” he mused, blowing smoke into the stale air. 

He couldn’t help the smile that took over his face; he was glad Max felt safe enough to tell him the truth. He reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing it to show that he understood. “What’s there to be confused about, then?” he asked, not in a prodding way, but gently. Cole took another drag and passed the joint back. “What do you want it to mean?” he asked, figuring she already knew the answer. Cole tucked a hand behind his head, lost in thought for a moment. “Did I tell you that Adam broke up with me before he died?” He’d been thinking about that a lot lately, about how Adam was completely different the days before the fire; how his eyes were even different, darker somehow. He knew he would never get answers, but he had never shared it with anyone and figured now was as good a time as any.

zccming​:

“yeah, and you were only able to fracture it because i saved your ass first.” max huffed. now she understood how dustin felt all the time, no credit paid where credit was due. it wasn’t like she was expecting to be met with high praises or anything, but she had been anticipating a few more thank yous and a few less lectures. cole, at least, wasn’t going to lecture her. he was only going to be whiny, like always. “i’m surprised it isn’t already healed.” max snickered, then condescendingly sympathized, “must be real bad.” then as he made fun of her request for him quiet down, she smiled mockingly at him, “it’ll be quiet enough when you shut the fuck up.” 

despite the hostile words tossed around, max shuffled over to her dresser, grabbed her baggie, and got to rolling. following the mall, she was relieved to find that things seemed to remain normal between them. there wouldn’t be anything weird from her end, but it made her quietly pleased to see cole stand by his choice to share his truth with her. in time, she’d produced a joint for them. moving mostly in silence, max laid staring at her ceiling as they passed the j back and forth until she was lost in her thoughts, the sounds of the radio, and the bugs chittering outside of her thin walls.

cole had shared with her about adam, and all max could think about was how she couldn’t stop relating it to her feelings about eleven. of course, they had skimmed the surface over the billy of it all, but this was a new, equally difficult, perspective. it was horrible of her, but that didn’t mean anything weird, did it? maybe cole would know… thoroughly baked, max distantly asked, “do you ever think about how el has like, the perfect face?” did he even know what she looked like? “or how she’s like, the perfect girl. or perfect person even. it’s… crazy.” it wasn’t exactly explicitly emotional, but in her altered state, max was holding out hope that cole might just read her mind about what she was trying to convey. “i really missed her.” with even less tact than usual thanks to the weed, max somehow brutal and awkward, prodded at cole, “how does it feel when you think about adam? like …what does missing someone…like that…feel like…to you?” then she rasped, “it’s different from…my experiences.”

xx.

“It is real bad, thanks for your sympathy,” Cole retorted sarcastically, cradling his finger in his other hand. “I can’t play the piano with this shit. What else am I supposed to do at work?” he sighed, though his eyes twinkling with laughter. Cole blew Max a kiss with his good hand, playing along. “What, did you invite me over here to sit quietly in the corner? You got a dunce cap I can wear while I’m at it?” he teased, though he wouldn’t put it past her to actually sit him in the corner with a dunce cap, for the bit.

Cole gratefully took the joint and lifted it to his lips. “Cheers,” he breathed out, releasing a cloud of smoke. He still couldn’t believe he’d come out to Max. He hadn’t regretted it-- the opposite, he felt an ongoing sense of relief-- but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a tad on edge, waiting for any sign that Max treated him differently. He passed the joint to her and turned onto his side, studying her face. She acted like something was on her mind.

The mystery only lasted a few seconds more, until she started going on about El. Chuckling, Cole took the joint back from her, “I hadn’t really thought about her face. She’s nice enough, but not really my type.” The two grew quiet and Cole dared not vocalize his thoughts, his suspicion that Max maybe liked El as more than a friend. Maybe he was projecting, hoping that she could relate to him in that way. Then, to his surprise, her questions all but confirmed it. He took a drag of the joint, and then another, turning his response over in his head. “Not to be dramatic, but I think it felt like... I was missing part of myself. The part that only he knew, you know?” he looked down at his hands. “It still feels like that. Like I’m a fraud, like everything I do without him is just pretending.” Cole looked back up at Max, wondering, but not wanting to pressure her. “Maybe I need a shrink.”

After the mall protest, Cole had been laying low. Partially because he had deliberately lied to the cops, partially because his mom made it very clear that he was on thin fucking ice after wrecking the car. When Max offered up her house for the night, he accepted without question. It was more low-key than their usual late-night rendezvous at the skatepark, and he definitely craved the company. So Cole stopped off at the 24-hour grocer, grabbed a six pack and a few bags of chips, and skated to Max’s trailer.

He thought he was plenty quiet, but Max’s expression showed he was wrong. Clicking the door behind him, Cole slung the backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it, revealing the beer and chips. He rolled his eyes, “I’ll kindly remind you that this fractured finger was an attempt to save your ass, Maxine. Here, I got beer and chips, wasn’t sure what you’d have,” he plopped down on her bed, holding his finger up to the light with a pout. “It’s not so bad, thanks for asking.” He was being purposely dramatic. In an exaggerated whisper, he responded: “Breakfast sounds nice. Is this quiet enough?” 

He chuckled and started towards the window. “Fancy a joint? It’ll be just like old times,” he suggested, remembering the mall. He turned away from her, a smile tugging at his mouth as he remembered what he’d said in the mall, and how she’d reacted with kindness. She wasn’t half bad. 

WHO: max mayfield & @colemontgomeryx

WHERE: mayfield residence 

sleepovers were sacred rituals in the eyes of max mayfield. although usually reserved for the likes of el or on accident in the wheeler’s basement, after what cole shared with her at the blue quarry mall, he could be looped into one of her favorite past times. while it may have been more difficult to swing because she was grounded, she still made a way. her instructions to cole had been clear. wait until midnight, she’d leave the door unlocked, he could come in, lock it and make a clean break for her room. susan mayfield would have long been passed out on the couch or tucked into her room

the clocks eventually ticked 12 : 00 and max waited to hear her trailer go bump in the night. by the time cole was securely inside her room her eyes were narrowed pointedly at him, “you and that stupid fractured finger couldn’t make it inside anymore quietly?” she asked, but still stood to drag him onto her bed, “come on, sit.” she urged, then crossed to her stereo and flicked it on. the chances of her mom coming to check on her were slim, but in case she did, she wanted something to drown out the noise of her and cole’s chatter. Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car blasted throughout her room as she jumped onto the bed and joined cole. “anyhow, if you can manage to quiet down, i figured we could sneak out early and go get breakfast or something. i know the diner is closed but, we could find somewhere. if you want.” she snatched a magazine from her bedside table and began flipping through it as she explained to cole, “cigarettes are in my bedside table, weed is in the top dresser drawer. help yourself, just open a window when you do.”  

zccming​:

“something like that…” max stared at her shoes for a moment. she couldn’t recall precisely what the report had said, she merely knew that she was pulled out of the fire along with her friends and what her lines were for when she couldn’t quite place herself in the fabricated story, “–it, it happened really fast.” then, she divulged, “i don’t remember what they even said and i don’t read those stupid articles about the fire.” max huffed, getting more agitated the more she spoke off book. she didn’t take well to personal questions, even from cole. not because she was mad at him, but she was still so mad at everything, and that was an unnerving beast to let roam around outside her mind. yet, max had still managed to share something with him. some real frustration about the cover up, even if he didn’t know.

the ghost of a smile on cole’s face told her that she had been successful in aiding his mood. “i’m always right.” she assured, a curve in her own lips appearing. max took the blunt and puffed on it, mirroring cole’s body position. “and you aren’t?” she deadpanned, “sometimes  i’d say you’re more than–” if he didn’t seem so urgent when cutting her off, she would have told him to shut the fuck up. and once cole fully asked his questions? max was wishing she had. her mouth dried and her jaw clenched. was billy like, different, right before? that didn’t even begin to describe it. lost in the terror in her chest, max didn’t speak until she felt a stinging on her knee. looking down she clocked the source; burning ash on her skin. she had forgotten about the joint. “shit.” she winced, brushing it off, then immediately passed it back to cole. he might have needed it for what she was about to say.

the cover up infuriated her at times, but simultaneously, max understood why it existed. it existed for people like cole, where the lie would hurt less than the truth. the lie would still hurt, greatly, but she wouldn’t wish knowledge of that supernatural can of worms on anyone. ears burning, she prepped the fib on the tip of her tongue, “he wasn’t.” i totally didn’t like, lock him in a sauna or watch him nearly kill my friends. max fought back the urge to pick at her nails, “but then again, billy was always weird.” she rolled her eyes, wishing it was that simple and shook her head, “i don’t know.” 

she left it at that. 

in some kind of miracle though, max’s mind was torn away from billy, and her attention was averted somewhere rapidly different. she looked at cole, brows knitted deeply in thought. so many puzzle pieces clicked together all at once. adam wasn’t a best friend, he was a boyfriend. there was a stray inkling about it, once, a heart-to-heart ago when max was equating his feelings about adam being gone to hers about her best friend el ‘moving away’. but she never followed up on that with cole. she should have. while there were so many things she wanted to say, and a dozen more questions she wanted to ask, max plucked a four leaf clover and went with the unexpected option. tenderness. “oh cole.” a hug, “i’m so sorry.” what a horrible realization of what he’d been going through. 

suddenly, max felt very guilty about lying. 

xx.

I don't remember what they even said. Something about that stood out in his mind, almost like "they" had been feeding Max lines. He felt, deep down, like she was lying. But he dismissed it with the next drag he took. Hadn't the shrink his mom forced him to see said that it wasn't unusual to make up stories to explain away tragedy? Maybe that's what he was trying to do. "Yeah. I guess no one really knows what happened. And we just have to... be okay with that. Move on, or try to," he said, his flat tone evidence of his unbelief.

Though he barreled through her sarcastic comment, her meaning wasn't lost on her. And she wasn't wrong. God, what he wouldn't do to make fun of the selfish prick one more time without feeling the sting of loss. He watched as Max inadvertently burned herself, and he raised an eyebrow at her sudden nervousness. Signs of lying again. But his heart sank all the same at her response. There he was again, trying to explain away the tragedy. "Oh," he nodded, taking the joint back again.

He felt himself leaning away, afraid of her response if she even had one. Maybe it would be best if she didn't, then they could get sober and pretend he hadn't said what he did. That would be better than losing a friend because of a stupid need to overshare. He was surprised at the feeling of her arms around him. The understanding in her voice. Even with the circumstances, Cole felt a lightness in his stomach. Finally, someone else knew. Finally, he wasn't alone with it. His blinks were rapid-fire and he silently willed the moisture to stay behind his eyelids. "Thanks," he spoke after a long pause, his voice barely above a whisper. He tilted his head slightly towards hers, relieved for the comfort, the acceptance. "And I'm sorry too. I know it's not the same thing, but... I get it, sort of."

Cole ventured a glance at Max and his eyes fell to the four-leaf clover. A sign of good luck, ironic. "And if you ever want to talk about it, any of it, or just... remember him. I'd like that," he met her eyes again. "Might make me feel less crazy."

zccming​:

“everyone expresses their rebellion differently.” max rolled her eyes at the notion, then took a drag from the joint. this party was objectively stupid, but she was there anyhow. so who was she to judge?  “It’s just… do you ever feel like it should’ve been you? Like, why did all those people die and not me?” “heavy.” she replied. the effects of her indulgence throughout the night were hitting her all at once, so to hell with it. she’d be honest with cole. “yeah. i mean, paramedics pretty much saved me and a bunch of other people. pulled us out.” at least, that was the official police story. not the truth, but it was the closest max could get to saying she watched billy die here.

 “i…still don’t understand why it worked out that way.” she rubbed her temples with one hand, then handed cole the joint with the other. time felt heavy on her shoulders, so she wasn’t going to waste it. “i didn’t like, really know adam…” code for, i always thought he was just a dumb asshole jock. “but since he was your friend, i doubt he’d want you thinking like that.” she was confident in that at least. “what do you think he’d think of this party?” max didn’t know what had inspired her to ask such a loaded question, maybe it was something in the air, or maybe it was the hope that prompting cole to remember would help him feel better. 

xx.

Cole studied Max's face when she told her story. They hadn't ever talked about that night before, not explicitly. He knew the substances helped make the conversation easier. "But it was too late? For your brother?" he asked, the high making him bolder. He could probably still recite all of the names of people who'd died in the fire, and when he met Max he put two and two together. "Maybe we'll never know. But none of it makes sense to me," Cole admitted.

He took the joint and sucked in a deep breath, exhaling with a cough. Leaning back against the wall, Cole cracked a smile thinking about what Adam would say if he was here. Why are you pouting? You know it doesn't look good on you. "Yeah, you're probably right," he paused, passing the blunt back. "Though he was a selfish prick sometimes." His expression darkened, remembering the last days they spent together. The fight. "Hey, listen... was Billy... like, different, right before? Was he acting weird?" He shuffled, crossing a leg underneath him. 

“Just because Adam and I got into this huge fight right before. He kept saying that he couldn't be with me anymore. It's like it wasn't him, and... I don't know, I've felt guilty about it ever since." Cole trailed off. Did he just come out to Max? Maybe she was too high to catch it. Maybe he was too high to be talking about this.

zccming​:

cole might not have known about the truth about upside down, the mall fire, or the flayed, but he did know the truth of loss. he understood better than most the weight of grief and how it could change a person. at least, cole understood it in some of the ways max understood it. regardless, as soon as she started feeling jittery about everything she searched for cole. naturally, he met with an argument, which only made her scoff as she moved to refill her cup, “i wouldn’t trust you to remember how to spell your own last name, let alone cups.” max assured him, then took a drink from her cup as a vow of don’t worry, i will. 

swallowing the last of her sip, she took a couple of step backwards, “come on, i have something better.” max turned around and proceeded to lead cole halfway down a stopped escalator. they sat overlooking a fountain on the lower level, it’d be almost pretty if this entire place didn’t feel so eerie. she fished around in her pockets, shoes, then bra to a produce a baggie, paper, and zippo lighter. “gotta get this off me.” max insisted, like it wasn’t perfectly clear why she had pulled cole aside. it wasn’t often max and cole got vulnerable with one another, but it happened enough that they managed to stay friends throughout all the bickering. a trauma bond ( and then some ) or whatever.

max got to rolling, throwing her trash off the side of the escalator as if to say fuck this mall as she went. all finished up, max sighed, “are you as miserable as me right now?” she asked bluntly, extending the joint to cole, then the lighter. max placed her hands on her knees  and shook her head, “like, this is super messed up, right?” 

xx.

"In my defense, my last name is long," Cole teased, trying to lighten the mood-- but the smirk on his face felt wrong, like he was spitting on Adam's grave. How dare he be happy in the place he had died? Cole finished his cup and set it on the ledge nearby, taking a long drag from his cigarette in the process.

When Max told him to follow her, he did so without hesitation. She was one of the few people in this town he trusted fully, oddly enough. Their friendship, however unorthodox, was a natural one: after running into her at the skate park a few times, he started bringing snacks for them and they just clicked. He could tell they were similar: both of them carrying around a pain they didn't know how to handle, and both of them unwilling to burden another with it.

Upon seeing her stash, Cole put out his cigarette on the side of the escalator, following suit and launching it over the side. Fuck this mall, indeed. Cole laughed, though it was more a breath than anything. "Oh yeah. Let's go throw a rager to memorialize the place our friends and family died. Nothing weird about that," he remarked, taking the blunt and lighting it behind his hand. He took a drag and handed it to her.

"It's just... do you ever feel like it should've been you? Like, why did all those people die and not me?"

where: blue quarry mall 

who: cole + max

@zccming​

Although Cole had thrown himself headfirst into this protest/party/whatever-the-fuck-it-was, he was unsure. Incredibly unsure. He hadn’t been back to Starcourt since before the fire; it was hard enough to see reminders of Adam at the high school and the Music Center and his parents house and every goddamn place he looked. So now, being in the mall, everything felt... surreal. He knew it was illogical, but Cole couldn’t help the guilt creeping into his chest, the feeling that maybe, if he had been here, he could have saved Adam. 

Cole leaned over, his lips pressed into a grim line, and filled up his cup for the... fourth or fifth time. Lifting the plastic to his lips, Cole glanced up to see none other than Max Mayfield coming his way. He quickly pasted on a smile and handed her a fresh cup. “How dare you think I forgot cups,” he scoffed, though his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Help yourself.” 

zccming​:

“cole.” max said flatly as he rounded the corner. while her glare was cold as steel, the gradually growing grin on her face said that she was happy to see him. “it’s an emergency.” that was certainly a dramatization, but she’d say whatever to make this look … less bad. it’s not that she cared what cole thought of her, but she refused to submit to the idea she was perpetuating any negative stereotypes. as he drew closer and provided the suggestions she had asked for, she rolled her eyes and mocked him “did you try to pick the lock? the fuck would i pick the lock with?” max held up her hand, “my fingernails?” 

she approached the front door anyhow, then levelled with the lock. “i have a better idea.” max once again found a rock, picked it up, but this time smashed it into the lock. bingo. the lock fell off. while max wasn’t expecting the door to only have an exterior lock and chain, she was happily surprised to find that the physical door itself hadn’t been locked. she pulled it open, ushered cole inside, then closed the door behind them, “i just need some groceries.” max shrugged her lie then grabbed a basket as if she were actually shopping, “happy memorial day.” she snickered, turning down an aisle, “have any not-totally-lame plans for today?”

xx

Cole paused for a moment, but refused to give Max enough dead air to think she'd bested him. "I don't know, don't girls always have, like, bobby pins?" he threw his hands into the air with a faux exasperated sigh. He hid a grin behind an eyeroll. Though he'd never admit it out loud, Cole liked the bickering relationship he had with Max; it was like she was the little sister he never had. And, though she would never admit it, he knew she liked it too.

"Jesus, Max!" Cole glanced around to make sure no one had heard the crash. At Max's nonverbal invitation, Cole slipped inside, shaking his head in amused disapproval. He wasn't exactly pro-breaking and entering, but it was one lock and a few groceries? Who would it really hurt? "Well, get something fun at least. To celebrate," he chuckled, motioning towards the shitty grocery store beer. Meanwhile, he made a beeline to the soda aisle. There it was: a sparkling 2 liter of Wild Cherry Pepsi. He grabbed two, and craned his neck out into the aisle, "Are you calling me lame? Why would I share my plans with you when I'm at risk to be insulted again?"

To be honest, Cole had forgotten it was a holiday. He usually didn't work Mondays anyways, so it was easy to forget the date and any federal holidays that happened to fall on Mondays. That is, until he woke up this morning with a primal craving for a Wild Cherry Pepsi. Two stores down and Melvald's was his only hope. As Cole rounded the corner on his skateboard, he couldn't keep his laugh in. There was Max, arm cocked like she was about to-- throw a rock through the window?

He couldn't blame her determination, but he knew she'd get found out. "Maxine!" he called out, making a tsk sound. "Are you positively determined to prove every negative stereotype about skaters right?" He propped his skateboard up against the curb and sauntered over to his unlikely friend. "Well, fuck, Max. Did you try to pick the lock?" he motioned for her to put the rock down. "At least, something that won't get you caught immediately. What's so important, anyway?"

WHO: max mayfield && open.

WHERE: outside of melvald’s general store.

this wasn’t max’s most…well-thought-out plan, but she had ransacked the trailer for anything she could bring to the wheeler’s barbecue. and she was pretty sure cereal or swanson’s tv dinners wouldn’t cut it.  as she skated her way downtown in hopes of a miracle, she brainstormed what she could bring that wouldn’t be too complicated. she came up with the likes of doritos or boxed pasta salad. of course, when max pulled up to melvald’s and tugged at the doors, they were locked.  melvald’s, like the hawk, and every other godforsaken business in this town just had to be closed. “shit…” she breathed out, scanning her surroundings. not a car in sight…not a person … but there was a rock. maybe if she just…she could get away with it…

max scooped it up from the ground and raised her arm to chuck it through the window, but she felt these eyes on her.  turning around, max initially jumped at the sight of another person.  hadn’t she checked for people? in a swift recovery, max rolled her eyes and frowned, “asshole. you can’t just sneak up on people like that.” as if to explain herself, she stepped forward and gripped the handles once more, “it’s locked.”  after chucking the rock out into the road, max placed her hands on her hips, then eyed the other, “i need in, like now.” then as a hint to help or get lost she asked, “got any better ideas?”