Humans Are Space Orcs - Blog Posts

Humans are Space Orcs: First Encounter

Planet Hedar 9-BG6, 2135 GE (Galactic Era) 

We had scheduled meetings between the leaders of the various species of sentient life that have become members of the United Inter-Galactic Federation with the topic of allowing a newly introduced species to be inducted into our council.

Humans, from the Level 10 Death-World, Earth.

I, Mokar'ak, diplomat of the Gracovkar, have been tasked to meet with the captain of the Earth starship, the U.S.S Castaway, as their personal guide and as a secret investigator to learn more of our potential allies. So here I stand at the docking bay of my home planet, waiting for their ship to come to port. Everyone in the UIGF had heard tales of the feared Apex Predators from Earth, how they were advanced, but also the most primitive of the known sentient life forms in the known galaxies.

The first time any other lifeform had ever gotten into contact with the human race, they had just successfully colonized the red, neighboring planet in their solar system. Everyone, my planet included, had sent numerous amounts of disguised scouts to observe the humans and report back to us. The accounts varied from species to species with some reporting humans with different colors, cultures, and regions of their home planet and their newly acquired sister planet. However, the way they described the humans was mostly the same. They were bipedal creatures, walking upright on two legs with a foot on each leg and having only two arms, a hand and five fingers on each one. They had one head with two eyes, one scent reciprocal, a mouth with small teeth, and two sound canals that were surrounded by fleshy skin and cartilage to protrude out from the sides of their face. They did not have scales or spikes of any kind, only skin that, for some humans, would burn as soon as they stepped outside and faced their star. They did have some fur (if you could call it that), but it was mostly on the top of their heads and/or on their faces. They had no claws either, just some built-up keratin that protruded from the front-side of their hands. They held no powers, such as telepathy like the Vradari of Fenu-5 or night vision like the Smenuru of Ydriv-B43, nor did they have any sort of natural body armor like the Hmunurbe of Vega-0943-P or the vast intelligence of my own people. In fact, they had no outward display of strength or power of any kind beyond their crude and primitive weaponry that a small Xlarion child could dismantle.

At first, we were relieved, if not slightly disappointed. We had heard some dark tales of humans killing each other with such malice and contempt that some members of the Federation were convinced that they were nothing but a planet of savages. But with this rather unimpressive report, we thought that though they were a threat to themselves, to us, they were more or less harmless.

We were wrong. So very, very wrong.

The Degartsi of planet Bul’nimsat-3534-L were a way-fairing race, conquering smaller, more obscure planets for their vastly growing empire and enslaving the surviving inhabitants by helping them drain the resources of their planet and any other planet they came across. Standing at 9 rigmas tall (10 ft by Earth standards), they towered over many of the other life forms in the known galaxies, with multiple limbs and a vast arsenal of weapons of mass destruction, both close and long ranged, as well as a full militia fleet with thousands of spaceships, housing well over 100,000 soldiers, both Degartsian and slave alike. They were ruthless, showing no mercy to any lifeform on their newly conquered planets.

Old, young, it didn't matter.

The sheer notion of resistance against them was to guarantee the total annihilation of your entire species and any neighboring planet that would try to assist you. Though the UIGF were able to push them away from the planets under the Federation's protection, it did not come without enormous casualties.

I shuddered at the memory of the day I saw Degartsian ships leave the atmosphere of my own planet in a hasty retreat when I was a youngling, my parents being included amongst the dead after they tried to protect me and the rest of my village after they laid waste to our planet, desecrated our most sacred spaces, burned our crops, taken over our mines, and destroyed our homes. By the time the Federation were able to cause them to retreat, the Gracovkar were almost completely wiped out, our population going from around sixty million to only ten million.  

So, when the horde set their eyes towards the human home-world, none of the surrounding Federation members dared to help them. We were even more convinced of the planet’s destruction as the leaders of the planet had refused the horde’s demands for surrender. 

Instead, they declared war. 

We watched with bated breath as their forces closed in on the little blue and green planet. Surely, such a small planet wouldn't stand a chance against these cruel overlords. All of the Federation planets began to say their prayers and hold memorial services for the planet, expecting the battle to be over in an hour. With such archaic technology that they had, there was no chance that they would win. The fact that they thought they COULD stand a chance was impossible and, in Earth terms, stupid. Noble, but stupid.

That was until the humans began to wipe them out. 

To this day, we don’t know what really happened. The majority of the Federation planets had banned travel to Earth due to the impending war, but what few that dared to be near the planet’s solar system all had different testimonies. The J’rutsi people of Quasvi-43G claimed that the human’s atmosphere was filled with noxious gasses that had the horde fleeing back towards the stars. The Muvriadians of Wi’ox-9-3FD reported that the humans had their own weapons of mass destruction that rivaled the size and number of the Degartsi. The Kniphors of Umortina-F435 swore up and down that the humans simply brought down their ships and then hunted the Degartsi until the horde was too tired and too depleted to carry out their plans. 

Whatever the cause was, the Degartsi certainly never discussed it, even after their complete and total surrender. Their armies were depleted, their ships were destroyed, and in their surrender, they were confined to their original, dying world, never to traverse the galaxies again and would free any planet that they had enslaved, alongside giving the planet’s inhabitants reparations.

It was at this moment that I heard the low, ground-trembling rumble of a starship as it made its decent from the atmosphere to the docking bay. The ship’s interior was a bright, almost iridescent white, which made the name of the ship stand out in bold, black letters on one side. The once quiet deck began to bustle with activity as the arrival of this new ship brought with it all the curious and cautious alike to welcome our new guest. 

Then, the docking bay went silent as with a whoosh, the hatch of the ship opened and one, lone creature stepped out, dressed all in white and a strange, round orb on their head, which I began to realize was a helmet as they began to take it off and reveal themself. 

The helmet gone; the face of the human was clear. They were of moderate build, dark brown skin and head full of black, thick braids on top of their head. I couldn’t help but stare. Surely, they never said anything about the humans being beautiful. 

I guess they forgot to add that to their reports. 

The human glanced around for a moment before I remembered what I was actually there for and made my appearance. I turned my translator on in order to communicate, seeing as Gracvese wasn’t understood by most of the galaxy and made myself known. After getting their attention, I introduced myself. 

“Greetings, human. My name is Mokar’ak of the Gracovkar. Welcome to the planet Hedar. I will be your guide and translator during your stay here. And what may I call you?” 

The human stared at me, the eyes of an apex predator shining with interest on my form. Then, baring her teeth in what I briefly remembered was supposed to be a form of positive assurance, the human spoke.  

“Hello, my name is Tsiri Stephens, I use she/ her pronouns, and I bring you greetings from the planet Earth.” 

Alien: how did you humans survive long enough to form a functioning society? You have no claws, sorely lacking physical strength as a species, no physical defenses…

Human: we just walked quickly after things that were faster than us until they died or got too tired to run away anymore and accepted death.

Alien: what the he-

Human: Yeah, badass, right? There’s a reason we’re top dog on Earth.

Human: *trips over own feet, gets foot caught in a bucket, yanks ladder down onto self trying to stay upright, falls in a pile of limbs and pain*

Alien: …are you sure

As much as I love ‘Earth is space Australia’, I love ‘Earth is Space Australia and the aliens haven’t figured it out yet!’ far more. ‘Cause lets face it, humans have a great ability to go on and on about minor inconveniences while at the same time severely underplaying the big ones. So aliens get the impression that humans are incredibly weak because we spend a day in bed from a headache, or gripe for an hour about a paper cut and then turn around and walk on a broken leg or consider a gushing head wound nothing to worry about. 

so I want aliens to get the impression that earth is a perfectly normal place to live, a couple of dangerous fauna, maybe some troubling weather patterns but nothing too terrifying. Then an earthling makes an offhand comment about earthquakes (and the alien’s think that they are joking because the earth’s crust? moving? Ridiculous!) But another chimes in and they think that it’s just a normal thing? That happens sometimes? and then they start talking about tornadoes and what is this? 

And the weather has nothing on the animals! The aliens are used to some large toothy predators, maybe a couple of little poisonous skittering things. But large orange felines that are capable of blending effortlessly into their environment? Rodents capable of chewing through metal? Small fish that climb into your reproductive organs and cannot be removed?????? That is horrifying. Even the most innocuous of their tiny insects is capable of carrying horrendous diseases. 

Like I just want aliens standing there staring in horror as a group of earthlings casual discuss their near death escapes as though they are completely normal and nothing to worry about and slowly come to the dawning realisation that these people are insane. 

You know what kills me? Artificial flavors. The notion that somewhere, sometime, there was a rogue blue raspberry. I’ve never seen this fictitious blue raspberry. I have no idea what a blue raspberry should taste like. I know what blue raspberry candy tastes like.

How about apple? Watermelon? Grape? Grape flavored cough syrup? More like fake Concord grape abomination. Yet we accept that this is what they represent. No one believes that watermelon candy actually tastes like watermelon, but if you blindfolded someone and had them eat some, they’d say it was watermelon.

H O W ? ? ?

“Hey, Menah-Tal, I got some candy in a package from home. Do you want to try some?”

Menah-Tal took the bright yellow wrapped candy from Brett. He started to put it in his mouth before Brett stopped him.

“Unwrap it first. There’s a joke on here too - eh, it wouldn’t make sense.”

Menah-Tal gingerly “unwrapped” the candy and took the sticky substance out. These humans. How do they tell what is edible and what isn’t? Menah-Tal watched wistfully as Brett put the tasty-looking wrapper in garbage receptacle. Menah-Tal put the candy in his mouth and sucked on it thoughtfully.

“What is this supposed to taste like on your world, Brett?”

“Banana.”

“Ah.” Menah-Tal continued to suck sagely. “So that’s what ‘banana’ tastes like.”

“Well, it doesn’t actually taste like banana.”

Menah-Tal blinked his three eyes slowly. Why. Why is everything so complicated.

“We had a banana crisis back in the fifties. The banana flavor you’re tasting is modeled after an extinct variety. The only kind we have now doesn’t taste much like that at all.”

Menah-Tal struggled to open his mouth now that the candy had cemented itself around his teeth.

“So your kind has a sweet substance that they eat for enjoyment that is flavored to taste like an extinct fruit?”

Brett shrugged.

“Yup.”

Menah-Tal licked his finger.

“Sounds about right.”

concept: an alien race horrified by the idea of clothes

- You… you manifacture artificial skin? That you don over your own bodies? How utterly repulsive!!

-And instead of being rightfully ashamed of this practice you… pride yourselves on it?? You have performances dedicated to displaying weird varieties of it? You hold galas that are - for lack of a better term - ‘thinly veiled’ excuses for just such a performance?

-You try them on in specific stores and sometimes don’t buy them? YOU LEND THEM TO YOUR FRIENDS? You lend your weird fake skin to your friends???!!?

- What do you MEAN you have specifically designated sleep skin???

- An alien being forced to wear warm clothes because of the weather and begrudgingly accepting that it’s a pretty clever way of adapting to this crazy planet, THEY GUESS.

- Rebelling alien youths putting on sweaters to the absolute horror of their parents. So edgy.

Human bodies are strange and sometimes terrifying. A handbook has been constructed that is basically a staple on all ships called “Your Human Is Doing Something Strange But Don’t Panic, It’s Normal”. Here are some excerpts: 

Occasionally a human’s joints will make loud noises akin to popping or cracking. Stay calm, this does not mean that the human has broken a bone. Gases will gather at the joints in a human’s body and when pressure is applied will pop loudly. While unnerving, it has little to no effect on the well-being of a human. 

After they wake and before they sleep humans have a habit of scrubbing the bones protruding from their mouths with a flavored paste. Although it is strange, this habit is very important and the proper supplies should be provided on all ships. If not cared for properly these bones may rot and fall from the skull of the humans and it is an entirely unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

Humans will sometimes experience an irritation or “tickling” sensation in their nose causing them to suddenly expel a large amount of oxygen from their body. This is such a violent process that they must close their eyes to prevent them from popping out of their sockets. It may appear to be painful, but is helpful and many humans actually claim that it is enjoyable and makes them feel much better.

It is recommended that anyone coming into contact with a human familiarize themselves with the many quirks that come with them to avoid future panic.

somethingcuteandwitty.tumblr.com 

Hey all you Humans are Weird writers- why haven’t any of you written about how an entire generation is still defensive over Pluto’s loss of planetary status because we all collectively packbonded with a planet.

We abducted humans.

To be fair, we abducted members of every new race. Abduct a small percentage of the population, expose them to some galactic prisoners, and we get a good idea of what germs, diseases, and viruses will make the jump between races. Do this over the course of a [roughly equivalent to a century], and you get a good idea of what there is, how quickly it mutates, etc. You also have the time to develop vaccines for any races that might be affected by the new race (including itself- we’re not heartless).

But we underestimated humans.

It was [roughly equivalent to four decades] into our testing of humanity. We picked up a human from his transport and placed him in a containment cell. He had some nutrients with him, and we picked that up too: less we had to feed him later.

But we underestimated the resourcefulness of humans.

Something went wrong- we think it was a door malfunction- and he escaped the cell. He disabled the guards easily (we suspect they were less alert than they should have been) and took their weapons. We locked all hatches, hoping to seal him in the laboratory wing. Unfortunately, he hacked the shipboard computer, gaining control of all systems. He made his way to the bridge, where he took the captain hostage. We offered him riches, technologies beyond human understanding.

But we underestimated the stubbornness of humans.

He was paid us no mind as he wrestled with the controls, as if on some quest. He punched numbers and figures into the console, and mumbled something about ‘being lit on fire’ by a superior. He set the ship down on the other side of the city from where he was picked up and opened the doors. We braced ourselves for a military confrontation, but it seemed like we were outside another human’s abode. He jumped out, carrying the nutrients with him.

We underestimated Domino’s 30-minute or free guarantee.

On the months my research team and I were allowed to live on Earth and observe their habitat I noted the following about human young:

- human young will turn anything into a weapon to mock battle their peers, broom sticks, straws, even their food

- when in large groups human young will display games of mock hunts against each other. The two most common being “tag” where one young will try to catch the other young acting as prey, and “mob” where all of the young will try to catch a single young who acts as the prey. This suggests an instinctive ability for both pack and solo hunting

- human young will often hone their stalking and hunting skills by hiding or attempting to sneak up on others and pouncing with loud sounds meant to intimidate and frighten. This is considered amusing for the attacker and victim  

- adult humans will often mock attack their young with their hands or objects to train the young to protect their vital areas and avoid injury. The young find this amusing and will quickly learn to train each other in this manner

- young humans will often attack and attach themselves to an older human’s legs, arms, or back, hanging on despite being dragged or carried while the adult human walks away. Both humans seems to find the experience entertaining 

- young humans are extremely territorial and will attempt to drive off others from food, toys, and areas they have claimed as theirs with physical and verbal attacks. Fortunately, most adult humans actively try to train this behavior out, insisting the young come to an agreement or share resources and territory. 

- young humans constantly search for new territory, dens, and resources. They will climb trees, shelving, anything they can reach. They will climb under and behind things. If there are no suitable hiding areas they will construct them out of blankets and cushions or any other available item. 

- young humans display a strong pack instinct, quickly forming social groups and defending their group against other groups. Often they will split their own group in order to mock battle each other in contests

- HUMAN YOUNG WILL BITE IF DISTRESSED OR ANGRY AND EMIT LOUD NOISES THAT CALL MATURE HUMANS TO AID THEM

- human young will beg for domesticated carnivores as companions, and if gifted with one will pack bond with it to an extreme point.

- human young will carry a toy and try to protect and nurture it as if the toy was their own young

- human young require constant stimulation in the form of games or information. They will constantly question things and can spend extraordinary amounts of time asking “why”, often while poking the subject in question

- human young will try to eat anything at least once. Anything. If it will fit into their mouth they will attempt to eat it. If it will not fit into their mouth they will lick it. 

-human young will voluntarily deprive themselves of oxygen to the point of unconsciousness in an attempt to trigger protective instincts in older humans so they get their way

- human young display great interest in mimicry, often dressing up as different professions, species, and objects. They also display great skill in mimicking the calls and body language of other species.        *Example: one human young had me quite concerned there was another Treawalbil in distress and I searched for quite some time before I discovered that the young was mimicking a Treawalbil distress trill with complete accuracy.       *Second Example: Human young have begun to wear wear “hats” with artificial crests similar to a Treawalbil and some have begun painting colorful patterns to their arms in imitation of our camouflage. 

- human young communicate constantly and spread information quickly not only among their own social group but other social groups as well.     *Example: The human young who mimicked a Treawalbil distress trill taught their social group and soon I was surrounded by human young calling out in distress. This caused the Treawalbil researchers much anxiety so the adult humans suggested teaching the young other calls. The human young learned enough for basic communication at an astonishing rate, but then other social groups we had not taught began using the same calls as well. Even adult humans began using the calls to communicate with us without translators. 

- Young humans will gift beings and creatures they believe to be in their social group with handmade objects, interesting specimens they have collected, or food. Strangely enough, a being does not have to be human in order to belong to a human’s social group. 

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

Every day we see injustice happening and no one talks about it, but I will!

As a citizen who is not ashamed of my past, I must say that something is happening and everyone should know about it! They're killing our could-be-our-brothers! Every day, our brothers and sisters are brutally thrown down the drain by evil men! Killers for pleasure who forget where they came from and their past but not me!

I am a former sperm and I came to tell you my story, my struggle and trajectory!

When I was just a new sperm, I lived in a cramped house, my father's balls, along with billions of my brothers and sisters, but one day, they kicked us out of there! He made us run in the direction, I was scared but I ran as if it cost my life and it did, when I arrived at a cozy and round place I looked back and saw a scene that traumatizes me to this day!!! My brothers in sack trying to enter space and not being able to, they died trying, and I know that many were roasted for the same thing as me but they are hypocrites and do not see the truth! Even having gone through this, many men still have the nerve to throw our brothers and sisters' sperm down the drain, so today, I will not keep quiet!

SAY NO TO ABORTION OF INNOCENT SPERMS!!!

*After explaining Piñatas to an alien at my Cousin-once removed’s birthday party.* Alien: So let me get this straight, you make a complex sculpture out of paper, fill it with sweets, and then destroy it with a stick? Me: Yeah pretty much! Alien: Barbarians, all of you!

Allow me to set the scene...

So you're an alien (just go with it) and you have to write a report on human studies.

You with me? Good.

Okay so you go to your local human library (stay with me here) to find some research material but...

Oh no! You only used research from the ritualistic cult section!

We following? Awesome.

So now your entire knowledge of the human race is just ritualistic cults.

Makes sense? Great.

Then you get invited to a humans birthday party (there's a point here I promise) and it's time for cake.

Everybody on the same page? Super.

Alien (that's you) watches as this lovely dessert is brought out and wax sticks are placed into it. The wax is set on fire and everyone gathers in a circle to chant. Once the chanting is complete a chosen one makes a wish on the flaming wax sticks (thus embuing the cake with the magical wish powers obviously) and blows the fire out. Everyone eats the treat and the annual ritual is complete.

All of this is to say...

Birthdays do be a little culty.

ive been browsing through humans are space orcs and i havent seen this particular thing talked about (might be because its a bit more niche but bigones)

what about that thing of where a human will wait to be told its okay to die.

it’s certainly not light but ive been thinking about it cause my papa recently passed away and he waited until my sister (one of the people he is closest with [for example he had issues sleeping if she had to work the night shift cause he’d stay up to wait for her] and he waited until she said it was ok to finally pass.

how would other species react to a spouse telling a spouse its ok, or a commander telling a soldier its safe, or any other variation you can think of.

what would be the reaction of one waiting to be told its ok to die at this point in time? rather than the you need to stay alive?

Humans are unstoppable...Until they aren’t.

I’m not the most eloquent writer, but I’ve had this idea kicking around for a while and figured I’d put it out into the universe.

A lot of the basis for the “humans are space orcs” stuff is the idea that we’re pretty durable compared to many species, yeah? When it comes to physical trauma, we can bounce back from most things that don’t kill us outright, especially given the benefit of hypothetical space-age technology, and adrenaline is one heck of a drug when it comes to functioning under stress. 

But that doesn’t make us unkillable, and even though we can survive debilitating injuries and not die from shock, it doesn’t mean it’s fun. Dying of shock sucks, but at least it’s probably quick.

So - Imagine a ship, adrift in space, slowly being drawn into a star or something. In order to save the ship, someone has to repair the hyper-quantum-relay-majig on the hull or in the engine or whatever. Bit of a problem though- there’s a ton of deadly, deadly radiation (Wrath of Khan style) or poisonous fumes or, I dunno, electrical current, between the crew and the repair. Like, enough to kill most species instantly, so the crew is just like, ‘welp, guess we’ll die then’. But then.

BUT THEN

They ask the human. Because everyone’s heard the stories - you’re basically unkillable, right? Could you survive long enough in there to fix it? And their human goes real quiet for a second, but still says ‘Yeah, I could fix it’. And the rest of the crew is like, ‘Whaaaaaa, it won’t kill you?’ and the human repeats “I can fix it” (which isn’t an answer, but no one catches that, not yet at least), so they send ‘em in. And the human fixes it, they come back, the ship flies to safety, and the crew is thrilled to survive. If the human is a little quiet, well, they’re entitled after pulling off a miracle. Everyone else is just excited to get to the nearest station’s bar to tell their very own human story, cuz, ‘those crazy humans, amiright?’.

The good mood keeps up until the human is late for their next shift. At first it’s just faint unease, but- but they earned a bit of a lie-in, right? No reason to begrudge them some extra rest, even if it is a little weird for them to oversleep. They’ll be fine. Humans are always fine. 

(Right?)

(…Wrong.)

- What is… help. Help!-

- ake up! You have t-

- been days. You need sleep, you-

- nother transfusion. We could-

- out of sedatives!-

A week later, the crew finally reaches the station. They stumble into the bar, haggard and haunted. And over the next months and years a new rumor about humans starts to make its way through space. A rumor unlike any before.

‘Be careful with your humans’ it whispers. ‘Their strength is not always a blessing. Be sure they don’t do something they can’t come back from, because when a human dies… they die slowly.’

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

ONE of the most important rules of the Galactic Federation concerns humanity. If a human ever says “Hold my beer”, either stop them, or run.

Mentally combining the "bees are unionized and will leave if they don't like their working conditions" post with the various "humans stow away on alien spaceships and do the jobs that are too dangerous for more fragile species" posts

Cool universe

A DEATHWORLER'S WAR PT 1

Hunanity's truth universe

From the memiors ambassador Gruxalon of the vanai-ashti.

We were, at the time, the newest members of the Galactic Alliance, the 97th race to be admitted.  Upon our admission myself and my fellow ambassadors were invited to the alliance's primary meeting ground, a massive spaceborne station in a system officially owned by no one, meant to be a nuetral ground.  Here we were given an orientation of sorts that lasted several weeks, this was understandable as this orientation included detailed dossiers on each of the 96 species as well as the history of the Alliance itself and the responsibilities and laws we would be expected to uphold as a member of it.  During our time there we were greeted by ambassadors and congulated on our appointment to the council.  Most were cordial, but clearly unhappy with our new position.

This was expected, we had asked to join solely to seek military aid against the Xinali, a hostile race that had made it their mission to drive us to extinction because we were amphibians and they believed amphibians were an unnatural abomination.  We were not close to that looming possibility yet, but it was clear that Xinali had superior numbers and firepower to our own, and our war, if left unaided, would eventually become nothing more than delaying the inevitable.

As to the reason we were inducted despite our less than diplomatic purpose, it was our communications and kinetic barrier technologies, they were far and above better than anything anyone in the alliance had, except the humans anyway, THEY had blown science fiction energy shields, but they had steadfastly refused to share that technology with the alliance.  They were a bit distrusting and isolationist as I understood it.  I remembered their dossier fairly clearly for two reasons, firstly because they were considered the strongest and most disciplined military power in the galaxy, secondly their homeworld had come up when discussing the concept of "deathworlds."

"Deathworld" was a designation granted to any habitable world that housed significant dangers to habitation by sentient species.  About 12 of the now 97 member species hailed from deathworlds.  Deathworlds had a classification system that went from category 1 to category 10, I don't remember exactly how they differentiated the categories, but i do remember that the larger the number, the worse the planet, I also remember that of the 38 known deathworlds in existence only one rated above a category 4, the human homeworld of Terra was a category 9.  Sentient species that evolved to become dominant on such worlds are usually aggressive and militaristic, and they are ALWAYS predatory, humans added isolationist and closed off, to that list of quirks.

As a result it was considered normal that the humans did not always send delegates to alliance meetings, most of the time the topics to be discussed had little to do with them, at least from THEIR perspective.  So it came as quite a surprise when I first met one.

We were pleaing again for the Galactic alliance to send military aid and were receiving the typical nonchalant disapproval, these proceedings continued for done tine before the human delegate stood and addressed his camera.  Everyone fell silent, it was known that the human delegate was not often present, and when he was, he rarely addressed the council, I had, to that point, never heard him speak.

"What the hell is wrong with you people!?" He opened aggressively "What's even the point of a council if you're not going to act on the behalf of a member.  It wouldn't even bd all that difficult or resource intensive to help them!"

I was taken aback I had certainly not expected support to come from the absentee and isolationist human delegation.  In truth they had a reputation for not really wanting to get involved in the affairs of others, it had been the primary reason we made no attempt at diplomacy with them.  

"Perhaps for you deathworlder, but for most of us a war is a very serious affair!" Another delagate answered.

"And you believe it is not one for us?" The Human diplomat replied. "Do you think it easy having such power at our fingertips?  Do you think we wish to abandon diplomacy and turn a prestigious place like this to dust, simply because we can?  We are NOT so petty.'

At this point the Consulate rose in the center platform of the space, placing himself between the two arguing races.

"Enough with this consternation." He said "I think we all know the true reason the humans are so adamant about this.  This is about the Cithir incident, isn't it ambassador?"

The human hung his head low, he looked remorseful and defeated "yes Consulate, we have waited a long time for such an opportunity."

My spines rattled a bit at that statement, opportunity for what?  His race would not be used for some dark deathworlder experiment.  

"If that IS the case, then i suggest leaving the issue of military intervention in the hands of the humans, the ambassadors in question may hash out the details between themselves."  This was met with raucous applause.  "In the meantime!" The consulate continued silencing the crowd "we will discuss the sending of foodstuffs and supplies to the Vanai-Ashti, because if i can speak plainly ambassador Orillion had a point, we DO exist as a community to help one another, and if we are unwilling to do so in any capacity, then we will have failed as a community AND as a council, we are responsible to do at least this much, agreed!?"

Less enthusiastic applause this time, but nearly twenty ambassadors offered to sue for aid from their homeworlds.

I was nearly swallowing my own throat afterwards, I had never met any deathworlders much less the apparent worst of them.  These were predators, powerful predators, I acquainted myself with their dossier as I waited for their ambassador's arrival at our diplomatic suite.

They averaged a meter taller than us, they possessed shielded, gun covered ships, their homeworld's gravity was five times our own, and they were, apparently, nigh unkillable monsters.  Their bodies produced something called "adrenaline" under stress, it essentially reversed the function of going into shock, rather than killing them this caused them to become numb to pain and unable to feel fear, it gives a burst of energy and sharpens their senses.  This substance is the reason the Galactic alliance is able to treat shock, i single litre of it can treat over a million people, and humans trade it for information, technology, passage through territory rights etc.  It is SO potent that they can refuse to share their shield tech and still make more money than nearly any other member species.

A tapping at the door caused me to jump out of my seat, i put away the dossier and answered, as the human looked down at me i must've have done poor job of concealing my fear.  Because he knelt down to my level and assured me he meant me no harm.

"Maxwell Orillion," he said, "nice to meet you."

"Gruxalon of the house fùrl," I answered "it is likewise nice to meet you." 

"So what kind of creatures are these…" he tapped at a screen on his wrist "...Xinali?"

They are an Avian race." I answered keeping information short.

"Not to sound unhratefull, but you and Consulate Grak mentioned something called, 'the Cithir incident' and you said humanity has waited for this opportunity.  What exactly do you plan to DO with us?"

"What do you mean DO to you?" Ambassador Orillion looked genuinely confused.

"Well I don't expect you intend to save our asses with no compensation." I replied a bit indignantly.

"What…?" Orillion stared at him in bewilderment for a moment begore something clicked behind his eyes "oooooooooh, you're new, you wouldn't know yet, I'm terribly sorry I'm just so used to everyone knowing." He said.

"Knowing what?" I asked.

"Uh… hmm… this is rather delicate, understand, it's kept out of dossiers for a reason."

"Okay…" i said.

"When we tried to colonize outside our home system for the first time, we ran into and insectoid race called the Cithir, to simplify matters a bit oyr people were split in how wanted to handle the Cithir, the larger group wanted to make contact and attempt peaceful negotiations, the smaller, but more powerful, and rich group wanted to kill them off so they could divy up the planet and sell the land to the highest bidder.  That group succeeded, we eventually caught them and made them face judgment.  But the fact that humanity genocided an entire race, doesn't sit well with us and we have been looking for an opportunity to atone."

I took this all in, it was a lot… it took me a few minutes, no wonder everyone was so afraid of them. I cleared my throat.

"So if i understand this… you committed genoside and by stopping the Xinali, you see that as like… undoing that?"

"No… what we did cannot be undone." Abassador Orrilluon said, "but we hope it can be forgiven." 

Ok so what if instead of humans are space orcs we’re just space cockroaches with a weird knack to survive anything and to be able to live in tons of conditions.