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Infj - Blog Posts
Poll: INFJs, what's your ideal day?
Imagine you have one glorious day all to yourself. No work, no errands, no obligations whatsoever. How would you spend your time?
A) Cottage core coziness
You settle down on a couch in a sunny corner, with your sketchbook, latest needlework, or a good book, along with a pile of blankets, and a pot of tea. However, you may or may not get around to any of it because napping is strongly encouraged. When you wake up, you stroll through the garden and then bake a batch of scones.
B) Rainy academia rabbit hole
You turn on some classical music, pull a chair up to a magnificent mahogany work desk and crank out the newest plot twist in your murder mystery manuscript. For inspiration, you go for a walk in the rain, grab a coffee from your favorite cafe, and end up strolling the halls of a local museum.
C) Wanderlust wayfarer
You hop on the local public transportation and get off at a stop you've never been to before. You stroll through charming streets, go antique shopping, and browse bookshops and thrift stores. For a break, you grab a table at a local restaurant, order an indulgent meal, and journal about your excursions that day.
D) Brew-hopping bookworm
You grab your favorite travel bag, pile it full of books, a journal, and/or a sketchbook, and make your way over to your favorite coffee shop or bar. You snag a small table in a cozy corner and, over the course of several luxurious hours, imbibe in your favorite drink, and get lost in reading, writing, or sketching for hours. At the end of it all, you purchase a growler of your favorite brew, or bag of your favorite roast, and head home.
E) Fresh air friend
Fresh air is calling, and you must answer. You lace up your favorite pair of walking/running/biking shoes and hit the trail. The weather is perfect. A crisp breeze greets your face. As you breathe it in, the endorphins start flowing. You're making great time, but that's not the point. It's going to be a great day.
F) Gamer of Thrones
A whole day to yourself? You breathe a sigh of relief as you settle into an ergonomic chair in front of a desk equipped with enough monitors to create a screen the size of the Pacific Ocean. You feel the security of your noise-cancelling headphones suction to your ears like a life vest, and dive into the comforting world of your favorite game. With a minifridge within arms reach and plenty of snacks at your fingertips, life gets very, very good, for the next several hours. (Time? What is time? Also, what is “outside”?)
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When ENTP sends Valentine’s Day memes
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Except it’s ENTP whenever we visit his grandparents in Florida
People might shout and swear at the narcissist. And think they’ve put them in their place. But really they’ve played into their hands. Like a petulant young child, if a narcissist can’t get positive attention, they’ll settle for negative. And a good argument or telling off still fuels their fire. Yes, they’re happy you’re focusing on them. Even if you’re telling them how awful they are.
The above quote is from: https://narcissisms.com/why-narcissists-create-drama/
I read through an old journal today, with entries from a time when I was in an emotionally manipulative relationship. INFJ's are particular magnets for malignant and emotionally abusive individuals. I didn't know it back then, and even though I know it now, it still hurts to remember it.
It took me almost a decade to realize that with certain people, attempting to have a calm conversation about your needs and feelings is actually a field day for their continued emotional manipulation. The alternative--standing up for yourself and being assertive, or even letting your righteous anger flow--also fails to resolve things and, what's more, it even fails to create any amount of distance between you and the offender. In fact, anger feeds the narcissist, and further fuels their desire to remain attached to you like a leech. Whether it's a calm conversation or a fury-filled telling-off, both give them exactly what they want--attention, be it good or bad.
It took me a while to realize that even when I was driven to tears, when I was sobbing to my ex about how much he had hurt me, that in those moments, he seemed to gain an air of peacefulness. My anger seemed to be a key that unlocked a sense of comfort within him. At first I thought I was misreading him. Then, when I realized I wasn't, I thought it odd. Then, when I realized that my despondent tears actually fed his need to be needed, and that because of that, he was totally okay driving me to tears over and over again--I finally realized I had had enough.
The INFJ "door slam" is a gift. It is not a flippant choice, but wisdom pulled from the depths of an almost unbearable despair. At some point, you get the point--reasoning nor anger can fix it. Only an end can fix it. A total and complete end. Cut ties to that person. Take the ties and burn them. Then gather up the ashes, douse them in gasoline, and burn that shit a few more times.
Then walk away and be free.
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When an INFJ’s battery is at 0% and going negative
INFJ: LOL
INFJ: Also, kill me now.
ENTP:
ENTP: …I’d prefer not to.
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This will be my answer for the first 37 times I meet you.
And then one day I will give an honest answer--immediately regret it--and then take 8 months to text you back about meeting up for lunch.
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...I’m sending ENTP in first.
So obv INFJ hearts ENTP, which is great but I was wondering - do you have any other mbti ships you like? Don’t hold back I can take it (the real question is… can THEY?) lmao
Aaaah, good question!
I probably have a disappointing answer *_*
I guess I don’t really ship other MBTI types because I don’t have any personal experience with them or know anyone else who does.
I particularly love MBTI stuff when I can match it up with an actual person or experience. (Eg, I’m an INFJ and my partner is an ENTP. Most of what I read about INFJ x ENTP is crazy funny/accurate, at least in describing my relationship with ENTP. Particularly the theme that ENTP is the only type that can climb INFJ's walls or bounce back from a door slam. I literally "door slammed" ENTP ten years ago and seven years later he just showed up out of nowhere like “Aaayyy....btw, I love you” and we've been together ever since, lol.)
...but I DO have an INTJ friend who I’m pretty sure would be stupidly happy with an ENFP friend of mine (if INTJ ever wanted to stop brooding in solitude, which seems…unlikely) so I guess that might be the other one!
I definitely do NOT ship INFJ x INTJ (it's not a popular one but I've seen it occasionally). I fully admit this is entirely based off a horrible relationship I had with a (different) INTJ in the past. I just don't think INFJ auxiliary Fe works well with INTJ tertiary Fi. But that's another story for another day. (Not saying it's impossible. Just expressing my personal experience was a dumpster fire of epic proportions, lol.)
What people expect INFJs to be like:
What I am actually like :
What I am like when you cross me:
What I am like when someone gets me:
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90% chance this is what I’m thinking in any given moment
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ENTP: A ball of confident chaos with at least seven sound arguments for why he “doesn’t believe in umbrellas”
