Curate, connect, and discover
*INTP at a party*
ENTP: you are pretty damn cute
INTP: thanks?
ENTP: you came here with anyone?
INTP: I heard there's free food so I dropped by
ENTP: Ah....makes sense
*awkward silence*
ENTP, smirks: So what's your type?
INTP: Um... INTP?
ENTP, flustered: you know about MBTI?
INTP: What other types were you asking about? Ennegram?
ENTP: you're so godamn oblivious, marry me!
INTP: Where did you put my headphones?
ENTJ: On the third drawer of the dresser.
INTP: I had a system! And you ruined it!
ENTJ: That was not a system, you just randomly throw stuff on the floor
INTP: yes, that makes them easier to find
ENTJ: It's messy, so I cleaned it up for you.
INTP: NOW I AM SUPPOSED TO OPEN DRAWERS TO FIND MY STUFF?
ENTJ: touché
INTP: You can't change my life like this, first you made me have three meals a day, and see a doctor when I am sick and do my work before the last minute and now you are making me organised, this is too much.
ENTJ: honey, I am putting up with you. I think you can at least do the bare minimum for me.
INTP: FINE. But don't you dare book me an appointment with the psychologist again, she can't help me, I am more qualified than her.
ENTJ *sips coffee*: too late.
(intp x entj won so here's a little snippet into their domestic life)
(ps: more ship dynamics with other types coming soon)
ENTP: hey, what a surprise, you are calling me for the first time!
INTP: I need your help in killing someone
ENTP: I know you have a vengeance against the P.E teacher but you can't just kill him....
INTP: Not him! I want to kill INFJ.
ENTP: .....what...I thought you liked INFJ
INTP: Exactly, because of him I am getting neurochemical reactions in my brain that I don't like. I get anxious whenever I see him. I feel self-conscious and my heart pounds like crazy. INFJ reminds me of my grandma, mom and my favourite English teacher whenever he talks. He distracts me when he smiles. He needs to be eliminated.
ENTP:......I think you are in love.
INTP: SHUT UP ENTP, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE?
Things I have said or done as an INTP:
~ "It's not like I hate talking, you are just so boring. I don't even remember what you said two seconds ago. That's how unremarkable you are. So, it's not a ME problem, it's a YOU problem"
~ "I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch"
~ "Do I really need to wish someone their birthday? Do y'all like getting old?"
~ "Whenever I feel awkward, I imagine brutal ways to kill people"
~ "What do you mean I can't order from the kids menu? I eat like five things in my life"
~ "Sometimes I put on earphones just to avoid people"
~ "The T.V remote was too far away so I stared at the wall for five hours"
~ "I don't have enough energy to correct you right now, call me later"
~ *person says* "Hey, how are you?"
*ME* "Nice to meet you my name is just fine....wait"
~ "I am willing to die proving a point"
~ "I am not gonna study. What's the worst thing that happens? I fail. It's not like I am dying. I won't mind that either"
~ "I gave up on life when I was 11. The best decision I ever made"
~ "I am not sorry for coming late. I feel sorry that I came"
~ "I will touch grass when I am in the coffin"
~ "Well actually, everything you said was opinions, not facts. I don't care about how you feel, if you don't care about what I think"
~ "I pity how dumb you are"
An INTP view of life: Part 3
ENFP: what if we press both the accelerator and the break at the same time?
INTP: the car takes a screenshot, you want to see?
ENFP: yes :)
ESTJ: Get the fuck out of my car, both of you.
....................................
INTJ: do you hate it that people are calling us the "sociopathic twins"?
INTP: Not really, it makes us seem even more unapproachable and intimidating. Look at the bright side, everyone will avoid us and leave us alone!!!
INTJ: that's true. I would actually prefer that. Look ENTP and ENTJ are fighting again, want some popcorn?
INTP: *HIGH FIVES*
....................................
ISFP: How do I tell my crush I like them?
INTP: is your crush someone you think is out of your league?
ISFP: yeah....I think so
INTP: don't worry, tell them you like them and if they turn you down I have booked flight tickets for you to move to another country.
ISFP:....should I not be worried?
....................................
ESTP: hey, I heard you are a chemistry student.
INTP: let me guess you are wondering if I have a meth lab in my basement
ESTP: Of course not, I am not accusing you of that!
INTP: *leans in* My prices are fixed, 50% off for a six months subscription.
ESTP: I like your attitude!
....................................
My main character syndrome is so high that whenever I get into a problem I just go "this is how the plot is supposed to be, it will help in my character development"
Dinner table conversation in my family:
Mom (ISFJ): I tried really hard to make all of your favourite dishes!
Grandma (ESFJ): That is so sweet dear!
Dad (ESTJ): You know I told you I want to try and eat healthy boiled vegetables and you STILL made my favourite food?
Me (INTP): *I did not want to sit with them and make them see my wierd eating habits* I don't like any of these food.
Mom (ISFJ): Too bad you have to eat it....NOW
Grandma (ESFJ): Let's pray to god before eating and thank them for the food.
Me (INTP): Why do we have to pray to god when they don't exist and did nothing for us?
Mom (ISFJ): just do what you are told
Me, turns to dad (INTP): didn't you tell me to have my own opinions and ideas about the world?
Dad (ESTJ): I am not saying you are wrong but.....if you want to have food you have to go by the rules. Just pray.
Me (INTP): I am not praying to anyone. I don't care if you take my food away! I am NOT changing my beliefs!
Grandma, upset (ESFJ): why are you like this, where did we do wrong?
Mom (ISFJ): Just be thankful then, okay? I don't have patience for a debate.
Everyone: thank you god for the food we received and for everything you did for us.
Me (INTP): Thank you mom for making the food, thank you grandma for helping in preparing it and thank you dad for buying the groceries.
Me (INTP): you told me to be more thankful, I was. There's always loop holes.
Dad (ESTJ): *hides smirk*