Curate, connect, and discover
*INTP at a party*
ENTP: you are pretty damn cute
INTP: thanks?
ENTP: you came here with anyone?
INTP: I heard there's free food so I dropped by
ENTP: Ah....makes sense
*awkward silence*
ENTP, smirks: So what's your type?
INTP: Um... INTP?
ENTP, flustered: you know about MBTI?
INTP: What other types were you asking about? Ennegram?
ENTP: you're so godamn oblivious, marry me!
INTP: why don't we have any food in our fridge?
ENTP: I thought you were doing groceries
INTP: when was the last time I left the house?
ENTP: I don't remember
INTP: What were you doing in the mall for four hours?
ENTP: I FORGOT OKAY
INTP: at least you bought other stuff on the list, right?
ENTP: what list?
INTP: you know what, let's forget it. You paid the bills right? You said you would
*light goes out*
ENTP:.....looks like I didn't.
INTP: it was my fault actually, to trust you with it.
ENTP: you want takeout?
INTP: is that an apology?
INTP: Where did you put my headphones?
ENTJ: On the third drawer of the dresser.
INTP: I had a system! And you ruined it!
ENTJ: That was not a system, you just randomly throw stuff on the floor
INTP: yes, that makes them easier to find
ENTJ: It's messy, so I cleaned it up for you.
INTP: NOW I AM SUPPOSED TO OPEN DRAWERS TO FIND MY STUFF?
ENTJ: touché
INTP: You can't change my life like this, first you made me have three meals a day, and see a doctor when I am sick and do my work before the last minute and now you are making me organised, this is too much.
ENTJ: honey, I am putting up with you. I think you can at least do the bare minimum for me.
INTP: FINE. But don't you dare book me an appointment with the psychologist again, she can't help me, I am more qualified than her.
ENTJ *sips coffee*: too late.
(intp x entj won so here's a little snippet into their domestic life)
(ps: more ship dynamics with other types coming soon)
I am so sorry for not putting ESTJ, ISTJ and ESTP, but there was only space for 12!!!!
You can always comment if you like any of those three with INTP.
Personally I don't think they will work out with INTP (as an INTP myself, I am not fond of people with those types that much....so)
Things I have said or done as an INTP:
~ "It's not like I hate talking, you are just so boring. I don't even remember what you said two seconds ago. That's how unremarkable you are. So, it's not a ME problem, it's a YOU problem"
~ "I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch"
~ "Do I really need to wish someone their birthday? Do y'all like getting old?"
~ "Whenever I feel awkward, I imagine brutal ways to kill people"
~ "What do you mean I can't order from the kids menu? I eat like five things in my life"
~ "Sometimes I put on earphones just to avoid people"
~ "The T.V remote was too far away so I stared at the wall for five hours"
~ "I don't have enough energy to correct you right now, call me later"
~ *person says* "Hey, how are you?"
*ME* "Nice to meet you my name is just fine....wait"
~ "I am willing to die proving a point"
~ "I am not gonna study. What's the worst thing that happens? I fail. It's not like I am dying. I won't mind that either"
~ "I gave up on life when I was 11. The best decision I ever made"
~ "I am not sorry for coming late. I feel sorry that I came"
~ "I will touch grass when I am in the coffin"
~ "Well actually, everything you said was opinions, not facts. I don't care about how you feel, if you don't care about what I think"
~ "I pity how dumb you are"
An INTP view of life: Part 3
ENFP: what if we press both the accelerator and the break at the same time?
INTP: the car takes a screenshot, you want to see?
ENFP: yes :)
ESTJ: Get the fuck out of my car, both of you.
....................................
INTJ: do you hate it that people are calling us the "sociopathic twins"?
INTP: Not really, it makes us seem even more unapproachable and intimidating. Look at the bright side, everyone will avoid us and leave us alone!!!
INTJ: that's true. I would actually prefer that. Look ENTP and ENTJ are fighting again, want some popcorn?
INTP: *HIGH FIVES*
....................................
ISFP: How do I tell my crush I like them?
INTP: is your crush someone you think is out of your league?
ISFP: yeah....I think so
INTP: don't worry, tell them you like them and if they turn you down I have booked flight tickets for you to move to another country.
ISFP:....should I not be worried?
....................................
ESTP: hey, I heard you are a chemistry student.
INTP: let me guess you are wondering if I have a meth lab in my basement
ESTP: Of course not, I am not accusing you of that!
INTP: *leans in* My prices are fixed, 50% off for a six months subscription.
ESTP: I like your attitude!
....................................
The jealousy of other people's skills, the weight of insurmountable expectations, the fear of not achieving and the limitless procrastination keeps me from doing anything.
The fact there's someone out there working hours after midnight and into the lazy afternoons. The fact there's people who run in the rain to reach a destination. The fact there's people who have someone they think of when they sleep or someone that makes them feel alive. The fact there's someone who works harder than you ever could. The fact there's someone who is way better at what you do without any extra effort. The fact.....you will never be what you want to be in life.
I wish I didn't care about anything. To live a life with no destinations, a path where I don't know to what it is leading to. I want to be a no thoughts; head empty kind of person. I want to have no interests in life or so many interests that the failure of a particular thing doesn't bother me, that I can move on freely from one thing to other without regrets. A life of no assumptions, regrets, resolutions, promises, expectations. A life that's full of colour and light, where I walk as if no one else is watching, talk as if none of my words matter, eat as if there's no effect of the food on my body, sleep as if I can be in an endless slumber.
If you don't have to think or care about anything, you can live a life of a nobody. Your actions won't matter and that's okay, actions make past or future but you would always live in the present.
ENFJ: would you jump off a cliff if I did?
INTP: yes
INTJ: yes
ENFJ: don't ever jump off a cliff! Both of you!
INTP: I don't need provocation to jump off a cliff, life's not worth it anyways.
INTJ: If I am not jumping off a cliff, I am pushing you in, because you are annoying the fuck out of me.
ENFJ:....
ENFJ: guys are you okay? We can work out the issues together by being vulnerable with eachother!
INTJ: *to INTP* do you want me to push him?
INTP: Yes, please.
Dinner table conversation in my family:
Mom (ISFJ): I tried really hard to make all of your favourite dishes!
Grandma (ESFJ): That is so sweet dear!
Dad (ESTJ): You know I told you I want to try and eat healthy boiled vegetables and you STILL made my favourite food?
Me (INTP): *I did not want to sit with them and make them see my wierd eating habits* I don't like any of these food.
Mom (ISFJ): Too bad you have to eat it....NOW
Grandma (ESFJ): Let's pray to god before eating and thank them for the food.
Me (INTP): Why do we have to pray to god when they don't exist and did nothing for us?
Mom (ISFJ): just do what you are told
Me, turns to dad (INTP): didn't you tell me to have my own opinions and ideas about the world?
Dad (ESTJ): I am not saying you are wrong but.....if you want to have food you have to go by the rules. Just pray.
Me (INTP): I am not praying to anyone. I don't care if you take my food away! I am NOT changing my beliefs!
Grandma, upset (ESFJ): why are you like this, where did we do wrong?
Mom (ISFJ): Just be thankful then, okay? I don't have patience for a debate.
Everyone: thank you god for the food we received and for everything you did for us.
Me (INTP): Thank you mom for making the food, thank you grandma for helping in preparing it and thank you dad for buying the groceries.
Me (INTP): you told me to be more thankful, I was. There's always loop holes.
Dad (ESTJ): *hides smirk*
INTP during an apocalypse:
INTP: Finally, something interesting! This could kill half the population! Including me! I can't believe people are scared of this! This is the best thing that ever happened to me! I can use the hours of apocalypse training I did instead of swimming lessons!
ISFJ: *concerned stare and judges quietly*
Me: I want friends
*People become friends with me*
Me: Not like that
If INTP was in The Office:
INTP: My job as a sales person made me realise how much I hate people
(Looks sideways from camera at the cameraman)
INTP: I hate when people are prying into my life.....cuz guess what? I have nothing interesting in it....except Pam, Pam is awesome.
(Gets questioned if he likes Pam)
INTP: No, not really. I like her a lot, which is surprising since I don't like many people here *mouths Angela*
INTP: now Pam and I are good friends, I do believe she hates her fiance tho...but what can I do about it?
(Gets questioned about his work)
INTP: I come late everyday, Dwight is always mad at me being late, I don't care much. I check in my computer and play Pac man while talking to stupid clients like an idiot selling paper which won't be useful in a future paperless world.
INTP: then I take a 2 hour break and pretend to be friends with Micheal to justify my 2 hour break.
INTP: I have lunch in my car so I won't have to see Kevin eating 4 tuna sandwiches in one go.
INTP: I spend time with Toby, he is like the only normal person here. We sit down and mumble about our misery.
INTP: I hate Andy, he is so annoying, I have to hide in the bathroom to avoid his constant brags about Cornell. I mean I went to Yale, and now I am a paper salesman *shrugs* this is always how it ends.
(Gets questioned about Jim and Pam)
(Looks at the camera)
INTP: everyone knows they are in love. It's not even a question at this point.
An INTP view of life: part 2
ESFJ: how was school today?
INTP: the usual. I slept through 4 classes, aced the history quiz and skipped P.E by staying in library to "research"
ESFJ: ok, did you make any friends?
INTP: there was this girl in English class who thought my comment on the teacher was really funny.
ESFJ: So you made a friend!
INTP: no I offended her next minute by saying it was really amazing that she could decipher a joke like that.
ESFJ: You know what? You shouldn't try at all
INTP: that's what I keep saying!
...........................................
INFJ: If you look at him more closely it's clear he is in love.
INTP: But the face he is making isn't emotional enough. That's how I look when I wake up in the morning
INFJ: but then the girl told him he has to wait for her!
INTP: which is why he looks like he is in pain
INFJ: then we found out from the inner monologue that he never loved her.
INTP: he was just using her
INFJ: That is so...
INTP: interesting!
INFJ: I was gonna say sad, but ok.
INTP: maybe we are looking too much into it.
INFJ: overthinking is our job.
..........................................
ESFP: ....blah....blah....blah...I went to the room and saw him....blah....blah....no he said...I made dessert.....we laughed so hard.
INTP: hmmm... (what is she talking about?)
ESFP: then she started to complain about her best friend again...like girl if you don't like them don't be friends with them!
INTP: yeah (why I am I even here?)
ESFP: I can't believe he said that to me....that is so rude *cries*
INTP: (she didn't stick with the script, she is crying, what do I do?) There there...*pats ESFP*
ESFP: You are like my favourite person! You are such a great listener. Such a great friend!
INTP: Sure
..........................................
ISTJ: hey you need to clean the room.
INTP: I thought you were doing it.
ISTJ: we share a room. You have to clean your part.
INTP: well if it isn't your part of the room, you don't have to worry about it.
ISTJ: *triggered* but as humans we should keep our surroundings clean and neat.
INTP: are you a human?
ISTJ: yes.
INTP: How do you know? What if this is all a dream and you are just a butterfly that is imagining all these things. Maybe I am not real and just a figment of your imagination. What if you are in a coma and your brain is.....
ISTJ: I'll clean your side. If you just shut your mouth and don't open it again.
INTP: I can do that. Thanks.
...........................................
Interviewer: so how do you feel like speaking right now?
INTP: I don't feel anything. I was told I will get 50 bucks for this.
Interviewer: haha really? You gave this interview just for the money?
INTP: of course, I would not talk to you if I wasn't paid for it.
Interviewer:....lets go to the first question. When do you wake up in the morning?
INTP: if I have to go to work 8 am and if I don't then 12 pm
Interviewer: and when do you sleep?
INTP: it depends on my caffeine level and current hobbies. A lot of all nighters if watching a new T.V show.
Interviewer: what's your favourite food?
INTP: anything that can be cooked with minimal cooking skills and effort
Interviewer: favourite season?
INTP: winter or autumn
Interviewer: favourite movie?
INTP: I can't choose one
Interviewer: favourite book?
INTP: don't go there.
Interviewer: what is your biggest dream in life?
INTP: I want to do something for the humanity.
Interviewer: that's nice
INTP: the lack of humanity in today's world baffles me. I thought I was aloof. But if everyone is like the people around me, even I want to help them.
Interviewer: how would you help humanity?
INTP: by destroying the humanity before humans destory each other and let the animals and plants live in peace.
Interviewer:....oh big dreams! Last question, how was your childhood like?
INTP: I grew up being paraded as a gifted child with intellect and curiousity. I didn't have friends and avoided any social situation. As I grew I realised my talents aren't valued by others and my mind was too fast for them. I slowed down and accepted that I am a medicore genius and my parents had lied to me about my abilities. I recently dropped out of college and adopted nihilism to make myself feel better about my failures and disappointments.
Interviewer: that's bad...
INTP: it doesn't matter much to me. My mom always told me I will end up in a jail or asylum. So life's been okay.
As an INTP. It's really hard to exist in a world that feels so integrated for sensors or people with high Fi/Fe. I just feel like an alien among my peers. I don't speak in class. I don't have many friends. I hate my incompetent and overly strict teachers. I don't get social cues and dynamics. I don't get inside jokes. I don't get why I have to know the stuff they teach me. I don't think I should trust my teenage mind to pick a career for the rest of the life. Everything seems bleak and boring.
It sucksss when you are not good at maths and physics and all that nonsense that people care for. It hurts when you don't get to be appreciated for your talents beacuse people don't care about the things you are good at. Especially being an INTP, it's hard to ignore that most of other INTPs are known for being the math and computer nerd (not a huge fan of computer either).
I want to read poetry and dissect 19th cen. novels and their themes. I want to debate on philosophy and politics. I want to write essays and articles on global issues. I want to read books by authors all around the world.
It took me some time to realise (not really, I always knew) that I was made not for the STEM subjects. I was made for the art, the history, the love for literature. As John Keating said in dead poet's society;
"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for"
How an INTP sees other personalities:
INFP: the only one who understands
ISFP: the one who does your art project
ISTP: cousin
ISTJ: the one who tells the teachers they gave homework
INTJ: the evil twin
INFJ: personal therapist
ISFJ: always helps you
INTP: a disgrace (and the best)
ENFP: has the best jokes
ESFP: adopts me as a friend
ESTP: adrenaline junkie I keep away from
ESTJ: the worst (sorry, I have met a lot of ESTJs that made me work when I don't want to)
ENTJ: Light Yagami
ENFJ: the teacher who makes me speak in class and encourges me to be more "open"
ESFJ: Mom
ENTP: crime partner
ENFJ: why don't you smile more?
INTP: I don't see the point in smiling.
ENFJ: there is no point in that, it is just more welcoming.
INTP: I don't want to seem welcoming.
ENFJ: you can make more friends.
INTP: you can also make enemies.
ENFJ: how about this, you can't avoid people all your life, you have to live in society.
INTP: not if there is no society.
ENFJ: that sounds....sus
INTP: I am totally not building a robot army to take over human population and start a sci-fi war to eradicate humanity.