I Am So Sorry For Not Putting ESTJ, ISTJ And ESTP, But There Was Only Space For 12!!!!

Interviewer: so how do you feel like speaking right now?

INTP: I don't feel anything. I was told I will get 50 bucks for this.

Interviewer: haha really? You gave this interview just for the money?

INTP: of course, I would not talk to you if I wasn't paid for it.

Interviewer:....lets go to the first question. When do you wake up in the morning?

INTP: if I have to go to work 8 am and if I don't then 12 pm

Interviewer: and when do you sleep?

INTP: it depends on my caffeine level and current hobbies. A lot of all nighters if watching a new T.V show.

Interviewer: what's your favourite food?

INTP: anything that can be cooked with minimal cooking skills and effort

Interviewer: favourite season?

INTP: winter or autumn

Interviewer: favourite movie?

INTP: I can't choose one

Interviewer: favourite book?

INTP: don't go there.

Interviewer: what is your biggest dream in life?

INTP: I want to do something for the humanity.

Interviewer: that's nice

INTP: the lack of humanity in today's world baffles me. I thought I was aloof. But if everyone is like the people around me, even I want to help them.

Interviewer: how would you help humanity?

INTP: by destroying the humanity before humans destory each other and let the animals and plants live in peace.

Interviewer:....oh big dreams! Last question, how was your childhood like?

INTP: I grew up being paraded as a gifted child with intellect and curiousity. I didn't have friends and avoided any social situation. As I grew I realised my talents aren't valued by others and my mind was too fast for them. I slowed down and accepted that I am a medicore genius and my parents had lied to me about my abilities. I recently dropped out of college and adopted nihilism to make myself feel better about my failures and disappointments.

Interviewer: that's bad...

INTP: it doesn't matter much to me. My mom always told me I will end up in a jail or asylum. So life's been okay.

My exams are going to be OVER tomorrow. Gonna finally start on the essays!

Since Henry won, "The Obsession With Morally Grey" will be done in a few weeks after the re-read!

Just felt like I haven't re-read TSH in a while. So I wondered if I could write a full blown essay (not really, more like a brief analysis) on the characters from TSH.

I might not even end up writing them but I would like to know which characters people are most interested in learning in-depth about.

There's so much to say about this story that no one can ever stop analysing it. If Donna took 10 years to complete it, there must be so much we can discuss about it!!!

I will try to write a detailed analysis when I have the time to re-read TSH (studying for exams, writing a book and reading "The Bell Jar" and "Pet Sematary" for the 1st time lol)

I hope this will inspire people to make more post abt TSH theories/analysis/thoughts (been tired with the regular mood boards and quotes)

(PS: "Looking Through The Male Gaze" for Camilla is about Richard's gaze, not Donna Tartt's)

And not to forget Richard is looking back at his college years and the events were not happening at the same time. So it is possible the way he tells the story is to hide a lot of details, or maybe he just forgot all the details. The romanticized way he puts most things always felt to me like a bandage on a wound as if he was covering the darker parts of the story. Almost all the characters are gay to an extent, as if Donna was trying to just confuse us which I think fits for what the story is about. Personally I don't eaxctly ship any of them lol. Francis's sexuality was always considered by everyone as gay but it's not ever confirmed that he can bi or pan or something else.

I put the book down and put my hands on my mouth when we got the incest reveal, it made me....sick. It wasn't that shocking since Richard literally thought they were a couple before he was told they were twins. It was Charles's dark side reveal that shocked me and disgusted me more (thank god, Henry took her away from Charles at the right time). I also think the reason Charles was obsessed with Camilla might be because of the greek thing, maybe he took Julian's greek ideals to heart. I also think Henry and Camilla as a couple isn't really romantic (it could be seen as one) but it seemed quite mild incomparison to what others were up to.

This book is so messy. It keeps me up at night. The problem is I don't know anyone who has read it near me, so these hcs keep me alive.

So, for my sanity. Let me get this straight (lol); Henry was in love with Camilla and she was in love with him. And Richard was also in love with Camilla but she friendzoned him. Francis and Camilla had kissed (twice) and Charles was furious. Francis was flirting with Richard the entire time ( "cubitum eamus") Richard fantasized about spending his old years with Francis (and they kissed ofc). Richard also described Henry in a very no homo way. Francis and Charles were secretly hooking up. And so were Charles and Camilla (also, Charles was an abuser, why don't people talk about that more?). Richard described Camilla to look very masculine and like Charles to a tee, so he also liked Charles (?). Bunny was a huge homophobe, kinda sus; also had a strange interest in Henry. And Henry was probably in love with Julian (that little weird kiss mentioned ounce). I am a missing something?

Donna. Donna. Donna, what tf is this book is about?

I want to see a TSH pov but from

✨ Julian's Version ✨

Julian knew about the bacchanal yes but he clearly had no idea that the farmer and Bunny were killed by the others, that's why he left immediately cuz he couldn't deal with the truth and the responsibility. Throughout the book he is confused about where all his students are and what they are doing, why they are acting like that. I just want to see him spiral as he figures things out. To see what they have become. Because of him.

(also I am just interested in Julian, like what was his deal? What was he doing all day? The book didn't have enough Julian. I wanted to know him better)

After Bunny's death: Richard decides to say his internal monologue aloud (this is not a passage from the book)

Richard: "The view of the red blood mixing in with the soil shows how one's sins taint the purity of life. Bunny falls to his death in the beautiful light of the dusk, as his friends are celebrating one day well spent, he lays in between rocks and the broken bottle of wine, to show the morbid display of the youth of today. What a great life he could have had if not to commit treason against the people who trusted him. And what irony is it that he is pushed to his death by the same people who he had spent hours beside as a friend. That is the biggest truth of life, for its unpredictability is what makes life far more terrifying than death itself. The soil has become red with Bunny's blood; the wind blows, snow has started to fall to bury the remains of one cheery, smiling boy. What a beautiful sight it is to see someone die in front of you, it shows how aesthetics remain even in death"

Camilla, Charles and Francis: What the fuck Richard? 😶😶😶

Henry: *gives an approving nod* that is exactly what I was thinking, you took words from my mouth.

(PS: Richard's unhinged monologues give me life every time I read TSH. Also I believe Richard and Henry have a spiritual connection)

The jealousy of other people's skills, the weight of insurmountable expectations, the fear of not achieving and the limitless procrastination keeps me from doing anything.

The fact there's someone out there working hours after midnight and into the lazy afternoons. The fact there's people who run in the rain to reach a destination. The fact there's people who have someone they think of when they sleep or someone that makes them feel alive. The fact there's someone who works harder than you ever could. The fact there's someone who is way better at what you do without any extra effort. The fact.....you will never be what you want to be in life.

I wish I didn't care about anything. To live a life with no destinations, a path where I don't know to what it is leading to. I want to be a no thoughts; head empty kind of person. I want to have no interests in life or so many interests that the failure of a particular thing doesn't bother me, that I can move on freely from one thing to other without regrets. A life of no assumptions, regrets, resolutions, promises, expectations. A life that's full of colour and light, where I walk as if no one else is watching, talk as if none of my words matter, eat as if there's no effect of the food on my body, sleep as if I can be in an endless slumber.

If you don't have to think or care about anything, you can live a life of a nobody. Your actions won't matter and that's okay, actions make past or future but you would always live in the present.

Characters that fascinate me:

1. Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter): after re-reading HP again, I started to put more effort on dissecting the interactions between Dumbledore and other people, especially Harry and Snape. Dumbledore's strategies, plans and the use of emotions of other people for his favours and for the greater good is for me unlike what most people consider, admirable. I have heard many people mention the fact they hate Dumble's because he is "evil", I like morally grey characters and the fact is Dumbledore's actions were not evil in any way. Did he raise Harry to die? Yes. But that doesn't mean he did that for fun (or ounce presented a way to save Harry he didn't make sure to prevent his death). Every step Dumbledore took was to defeat Voldy in the end, who was committing mass genocide. To prevent deaths of hundreds, thousands of people, it was okay for him to sacrifice certain people (mostly Himself, Harry and Snape). I also think Dumbledore could or should have been in Ravenclaw or Slytherin because his qualities matches those houses more than Gryffindor (also can you imagine how conflicting it would have been for Harry if Dumbledore causally mentions he is a Slytherin or if he was a Ravenclaw there could have been more characters in that house than Quirrell and Lockhart of all people)

2.  Daria Morgendorffer (Daria): if there was a character that I could relate to the most, it's her. Daria's cynical outlook, her quick wit, her quotes are so entertaining to watch. Its really amazing to be able to have a character that represents the perceptions of the quiet kids. As one of them, Daria is the representation of rebellion against the power hungry, capitalistic and tone deaf world we live in.

3. Amy Dunne (Gone Girl): this woman sacres me. She is the epitome of the perfectly imperfect villainous yet fascinating character that captures your attention. She is a psychopath. She is a liar. She is deranged. And I can't help liking her as a complex person.

4. Wanda Maximoff (Wandavison): from her ability to manipulate the minds of all the original avengers (except Hawkeye) in age of Ultron to her batshit crazy powers in multiverse of madness (including the fact defeating the entire illuminati while dream walking), Wanda had come far from being just another avenger to one of most powerful beings in the current MCU. And all of that due to a mother's love, shows you how powerful loss and love can be.

5. L. Lawliet (Death Note): world's top three detectives, the boy who stopped WW3 as a kid, the blueprint for Wammy's house, the deductive genius who almost captured the worst serial killer in history. L will never cease to be interesting. His backstory reveals that L was always the best, no matter if he could defeat Light Yagami or not (he sort of did defeat Light as he knew Light was Kira the 1st time he met him). The most interesting aspect of L is how neutral his moral ideals are, on one hand he spends all this time (literally, as he doesn't sleep) to solve the Kira case, on the other hand he isn't reluctant to play with people's emotions and sacrifice certain people to reach his end goals. While L is the antagonist, everyone loves him as the hero to Light's protagonist villain. I do love L as much as the next person; what I love more than that is how he is just as morally grey as Light but stays on the grey part and never becomes the villain he could be, something that Light became.

6. Allison Dilaurentis (Pretty Little Liars): in my opinion, the most evil of the onscreen Mean girls (except for Courtney Shane and Chanel Oberlin). Allison in the first few seasons was the most fascinating aspect of the show, the sheer power she holds in Rosewood, the way she manipulates all her friends, the way she could destroy lives of anyone she wants is the best part of her character. But after her return from the "dead" she became kinda boring and not the fantastic villain we wished she was. Like, they could have made Aria "A" instead of evil British cousin and made Allison the one controlling Aria, as it was clear Aria was hiding something about herself, the show also gave many clues about her and she seemed be the person Allison liked the most among the liars (she also got the least torment from Allison as well as A). It makes sense if they were both working together. But no, that's too predictable! You have to pull the evil twin plot for shock value!!!!

7. Regulus Black (Harry Potter): he is the best example of a good Slytherin (*ahem* Snape *ahem*). The best thing about his arc is he used to be a death eater but changed sides after knowing how shitty Voldy is, protected his house elf and sacrificed his life for the world. And had a better reason for changing sides than someone very similar to him (*ahem* Snape *ahem*)

Ps: I did not die. Next time.

Richard : There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Charles: Have everyone stand.

Camilla: Bring three more chairs!

Francis : The most important ones can sit down.

Bunny: Make them fight for the chairs!

Henry: Kill three.

TSH New Years headcanon (after the epilogue)

Richard's POV

By the time Camilla and I arrived at the balcony of his house; Francis as expected was already lounging on the sofa, with a glass of red wine in his hand and looking at the dark sky twinkling with stars.

He barely acknowledged us as we sat down opposite each other, Camilla put down the box of Macrons she had bought as a gift and I opened the bottle of champagne I had bought.

Without a glance he shook his now empty glass towards me and made me pour some for him first.

"Do you not feel cold? Shouldn't you at least put a sweater on?" Camilla asked him in a concerned tone

"I was trying to die from frost bite" Francis chuckled, "I was joking" he added to me when I raised an eyebrow.

"It's ten minutes till twelve" I looked at my watch "what plan do you have for new years?"

"I have stopped caring about plans since the time Henry ended up dying"

Camilla and I exchanged looks, her lips twitched and she avoided eye-contact with me. Perhaps she too felt the same emptiness Francis seemed to be feeling. After all before I met them, they already celebrated New Years together with the others. But this year too Charles, Henry and Bunny were gone.

"How is Charles?" I asked Camilla, not really expecting an answer

She shrugged "I have no idea. He sent back the Christmas card I sent him. But he did take the money I left it in"

"Of course he did" Barked Francis, he sat up straighter to look us in the eyes for the first time

"And Julian? Do you know where he is?" I asked Francis this time, ounce again not expecting any answer

"Who the fuck cares about him now? I don't. He is probably in some private college, trying to recreate another Greek tradegy"

"I heard he is doing a world tour" Camilla said "He is currently in the Caribbean"

"I hope he dies there" Francis said bitterly

After Julian ditched our side when we needed him, we had stopped caring about him like he did to us. I did keep up with his news, despite his deeds he was still quite fascinating to me.

"do you remember the first class you had with Julian?" Francis asked me

"yes, I do" I could never forget that first class, no matter what

"What was the question Julian asked at the end of the class?"

"And if beauty is terror" I said slowly remembering the exact words "then what is desire? We think we have many desires, but in fact we have only one. What is it?"

"To live," said Camilla

She was perched up on the sofa with a shawl covering her head; her nose and cheeks pink with cold.

"To live forever" corrected Francis "such an ironic thing for Bunny to say, isn't it?"

He then poured the three of us more champagne.

"Here's to the New Year" he said more brightly, raising a toast "To live forever"

"To live forever" repeated Camilla and I, as we clicked the glasses together, the fireworks started.

Another year went by and we remained stuck in the past. This year, we will move on. That was my new year's resolution.

(I wish I could write better 🫠. But here's to a new year "To live forever")

People thinking Atsushi is just a cute lil soft boy are so WRONG.

Atsushi is one of the best executed C-PTSD protagonists who are not just "kind" because they are the MC.

Atsushi is sassy, he is mean and says things like they are, even to his own mentor Dazai, he is not afraid of saying bad things. He doesn't hold back on his words. And he can be quite quick when it comes to using sass ("are you a landmower?" "Why are you dressed like a half-finished mummy, Dazai-san" "Akutagawa, fancy a cup of tea?" "That's why Dazai-san left you")

He's not just nice. He thinks he should be nice and kind because that's what someone like him should be like. Atsushi has such a low self esteem that he NEEDS to show kindness to everyone because he thinks just like he got a second chance at life, everyone else deserves it too.

That's why he saved Kyouka and Lucy, he recognised that want for bettering themselves in them. He wanted them to get a second chance like he did. Because to him, people are not good or bad, but they have the ability to change no matter how far they have gone.

This is why Atsushi is the only one who can recognise and understand Dazai's true personality. Whenever Dazai says something self depreciating Atsushi ALWAYS corrects him. In Dead Apple when Dazai is visiting Oda's grave, Atsushi understands whoever this person was, they were very dear to Dazai. At the end of Dead Apple when Dazai says he thinks he's not a good person, Atsushi tells him he has never thought of Dazai not being a good person. Atsushi knows Dazai was in the Port Mafia, but he STILL confirms he sees Dazai as a good person regardless of his past. Because Atsushi believes in second chances, and HE gave the second chance to Dazai that Oda must have wanted Dazai to get, even if the ADA accepted Dazai, no one has ever reassured him being a good person before. (Also in BSD wan, when Dazai says "I want to go out beautifully" during the fireworks scene, in the end-credits Atsushi sits near the river the entire day because he was sad that Dazai was suicidal. And in BSD mayoi, Dazai makes a snowman of Atsushi along with Oda, Ango and Chuuya, showing how much he adored Atsushi)

It's the same with Akutagawa; Atsushi doesn't understand why Akutagawa hates him and he's mean to Akutagawa at times but it never crossed a line. Akutagawa had done so many bad things to Atsushi but at the end they still worked together. Because Dazai understood the only person who will make Akutagawa use his powers to "protect" instead of "attack" is Atsushi. During the ending fight in S3, Akutagawa makes an armour for Atsushi as they combine their powers. And in the end credit scene of S5, we see Akutagawa protecting Atsushi AGAIN. This time Akutagawa isn't wearing the same coat Dazai gave him and for the first time shows true loyalty to Atsushi. ("Just the two of us?" "Do we need more?" *SCREAMS*)

Atsushi's relationship with the headmaster of the orphanage shows how much the trauma affected him as a child. When he can't forgive the headmaster at his death, he hates himself for not being able to give a second chance. And that's when Dazai steps in and tells him, "we cry when our father dies" something Atsushi really needs to hear and he finally cries.

Atsushi reassures Dazai all the time and Dazai snaps Atsushi out of his self depreciation all the time. Their solidarity throughout the story, shows why that day when Dazai chose Atsushi for the ADA; he recognised not Atsushi's powerful ability but his true ability in choosing to believe in people when no one else can.