Jesper X Wylan - Blog Posts

Important Anouncment:

In the german dub, when Jesper lies on top of Wylan, he doesn't say "you got me waffles", he literally says "you baked waffles for me"

Jesper, how tf do you forget someone who you not only slept with but who also actually sat down cooked for you?? Ffs

#3 : Wylan and Jesper

They're the same people your honour

Tags: @bookworm-center @wraith--2 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @she-posts-nerdy-stuff

Am I the only one who thinks Kaz Brekker is like the boss baby??

@jccatstudios @she-posts-nerdy-stuff @bookworm-center @wraith--2

This had me rolling for ten minutes straight Lmao. Made my day <33

Crows as random google search suggestions part 3 (1 | 2)

I LOVE THESE SM

Favourite/Funniest Line's from Crooked Kingdom

"Let's go." "Me?" "No the idiot behind you."

"How is-" "Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I am stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids."

"Now why can't people be this easily trained?" Kaz murmured as he crouched to oblige the dog with a belly rub.

"Did you know I am next in line for the Fjerdan throne? They call me Princess Ilse of Engelsberg." "There is no princess of Engelsberg. It's a fishing town."

"Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?" "So?" "Well, usually it's just half the city."

"Big, blond and blind. The Fjerdan way."

"If I live I'll buy you waffles." "You don't have enough money to buy her waffles."

"Do you know what Van Eck's problem is?" "No honor?" "Rotten parenting skills?" "Receding hairline?"

"Isn't that how things are done around here? We all tell Kaz we are fine and the do something stupid?" "Are we that predictable?" "Yes."

"It seems everyone is forming alliances." "They're called friendships Kaz."

"You are very welcome Nina Zenik. You may repay me in the costumary way." "Waffles?" "Lots of them."

"I need to do this. I've never been to my mother's grave. I am not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye." "Trust me, you care more than she does."

"You are stupid about a lot of things Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I am going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue." "He' ll never believe it." "Then I 'll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue."

"Come on, let's do steal all my dad's money. "Isn't it your money?" "Okay, let's go steal it back."

"I think you 'd flirt with a date palm if it would pay you any attention." "If I flirted with a plant, you can bet it would stand up and take notice."

"Yes, yes, Nina Zenik is hungry. Now, will someone feed me before I am forced to cook one of you?" "Don't be ridiculous. You don't know how to cook."

"On a dare I ate a literal through full of waffles and nearly went back for seconds."

"Pick up the pace." "If I spill a single drop of this it will burn straight through the floor onto my father's dinner guests." "Take your time."

"I am Dunyasha, the White Blade, trained by the Sages of Ahmrat Jen, the greatest assassin of this age." "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Fate brought me here." "And does fate pay your wages?"

"My parents thought I would drown because I crawled into the sea as a baby, laughing." "Perhaps they were worried you would talk yourself to death."

"Kaz. You may not be glad we are alive, but we are glad you are alive."

"You are better than waffles, Matthias Helvar." "Let's not say things we don't mean, my love."

"Are you mad?" "I'd probably be happier if I was."

"You have to be the craziest bastard I ever met." "I'll take that as a compliment."

"My leg! My leg!" "I recommend a cane."

"What is wrong with him?" "Same thing that's always wrong with him. He's Kaz Brekker."

Jesper followed Wylan down the hall. "Hey." Wylan kept going.

"Jes, I 've thought about this-" "Thought of me? Late at night? What was I wearing?"

Wylan ran his tongue over his lips and spat in his father's face.

He was pale, with tufty orange brows and a hunched posture that gave him the look of a giant shrimp.

He felt bad for the guy. Not bad enough to wake him up and untie him, but still.

"I 've been shot!" He had not been shot.

"How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?"

"Tell you what. When the day comes, mark it on your calendars. I can think of a lot of people who 'll want to throw a party.

"Wait. Is my tie straight?"

Wild Geraniums

INEJ GHAFA X FEM!READER

Fluff/ cute stuff.

Inej coming out to the crows when she's dating u :)

Warnings : mentions of Sexual abuse, sexual slavery, girlxgirl, Y/N is a girl. Lesbian relationship. (I'm not good @ writing warnings so basically if u read SoC and got out fine you can read this)

Inej P.O.V

The wraith.

The name whispered amoung the ranks of the Dregs had now been given to her beloved boat.

Inej sighed contently as she looked out at the blue sea before her.

The breeze knitted a soft braid into her dark hair, the sea salt scented winds filled her senses as her eyes fell on the city which was Ketterdam.

The crows had organised a little meeting, after a few years of not seeing eachother together, this was finally a week of rest, relaxation and fun for Inej. She wouldn't be going out to sea anymore. For a mont atleast.

Nina and Matthais had planned for the group to visit their house in Fjerda. Inej was thrilled to meet their son, who would be turning one this year. Jesper wanted to take them to meet his Da, Colm Fahey, whom Inej missed in all her travels. She was eager to see how Kaz had expanded the crow club. Wylan wanted to tour all over Shu Han and Ravka, and Inej wasn't one to object.

Inej laughed thinking of all the fun they'd have.

“Captain! We prepare to anchor?” a familiar voice perked up from behind Inej. She felt two arms wrap around her waist.

She knew who it was.

Y/N Y/L/N, her most trusted travel companion and most importantly—

Girlfriend

“ofcourse my love.” Inej laughed.

“Inej!” Jesper exclaimed, running toward the girl as she walked through the familiar doors of the crow club.

“Jes!” yelled Inej as Jesper twirled her in the air.

“Good to see you back, wraith, or should I say, captain Ghafa.” rasped Kaz from beside him, extending a gloved hand.

“Good to see you too, Kaz.” replied Inej, taking his hand in hers.

Inej's heart bubbled at the sight of her two brothers, or the closest thing she had to them.

“Where are Nina and Matthais?” she asked.

“They arrived a about thirty minutes ago. Wylan went to pick them up.” answered Jesper.

“Are they bringing their son?”

“I think they are. Not sure.” Kaz scratched the back of his head.

“Inej, my love, where do I put my luggage?” huffed Y/N as she pulled in a huge chest like suitcase.

“My love? Who is she, Inej?” asked Jesper, repeating Y/N’s words in shock.

Inej turned to Kaz, face flushing furiously, hoping to see disappointment of some sort. But instead, she found him grinning madly from ear to ear.

He wore a look. A look which asked , ‘are you both together? When ? Where? How? Tell me.’

Inej smiled shyly.

“I thought I'd tell you all. Together.”

“Tell us what together?” Called Wylan from the doorway.

“Wylan!” Inej cheered.

The boy barreled toward her, wrapping her up in a tight hug.

“We. Have. So. Much. To. Talk about!” squealed Wylan, squeezing Inej's palms.

“Inej! There's my favourite pirate!” before Inej could process, Nina Zenik had her engulfed in her welcoming arms, joined by Matthais Helvar and a certain little child.

“Nina! Saints, it's been long!” Inej chuckled, wiggling out of the corpse witch’s grip.

“Okay okay! We need to go out for waffles! That's a must!” yelled Nina. “And this, is Feliks Sven Helvar, my adorable little boy.” Nina held up a small child.

“Hello, Little one.” cooed Inej, holding out her finger for the infant, who gladly took it.

He was an adorable tiny blend of Nina and Matthais. He had Matthais’s Fjerdan nose, and Nina's Ravkan warm forest green eyes. He had ombre hair, blonde locks like his father, which were brown at the roots like his mother's.

“So, Inej here, has a little something to tell us.” Jesper cleared his throat and gestured between Inej and Y/N.

“Oh! Who's this?” asked Wylan.

“ I'm Y/N Y/L/N, part of Inej's amazing crew.” grinned the girl, sinking into a bow.

“ And, my girlfriend.” said Inej, wrapping her arm around Y/N's waist.

Y/N's expression was shocked. Are you sure about this? She mouthed uncertainty.

It's not that you were embarrassed of your relationship. You were very affectionate, leaving springs of wild Geraniums in Inej's cups, her hats, and her books. Buying her thoughtful gifts. Hugging her and cuddling her whenever you got the chance to. But Inej knew the fact why you cast her that look.

No one knew about their relationship. So far, only a few among their crew and Inej's parents knew.

Inej was scared about how the crows would react about her intrest in girls, she hoped that something bad wouldn't happen.

Y/N was shipped from a few brothels and bawds before Inej freed her. She had no family. Her trauma probably lead her to fear what others might think of her being not so straight.

Inej faced the same fear. She knew the crows wouldn't be mad or weird about her interests. But saints, Inej had to worry.

“Oh my saints! We need to celebrate! With waffles ofcourse.” Nina cut the silence.

Jesper was the first to laugh. The others followed. Even Kaz let out a small chuckle.

“ Welcome to the family Y/N Y/L/N.” Said Jesper, pulling you into a hug.

“ We're so happy to meet you.” Wylan joined the hug.

Soon, Inej saw her whole group of friends, including Kaz, coddled around a very happy Y/N.

“Thank you f-for accepting me.” said Y/N, voice no higher than a whisper.

Inej looked at her girlfriend with happy tears in her eyes.

Y/N lunged forward into Inej's arms. Inej returned the gesture with a kiss on her forehead.

“Waffles.” Nina perked up.

“ Yes Nina. Waffles.” Kaz rolled his eyes. “Tell me how you took care of her while pregnant? Is this how your tree god paid you for my tree jokes?” he asked Matthais.

The Fjerdan let out a booming hearty laugh, starting the child in his arms.

“So, Y/N.” Jesper began, bouncing from one foot to another. “ What is Inej's favourite flower?” he raised a brow.

“ Wild Geraniums.” replied Y/N, pulling out a spring of the said flower from her pockets.

“This calls for a celebration!” yelled Wylan.

The rest of the crows smiled, nodding in agreement.

A six of crows meme I made when I was supposed to be doing my homework. Hope you enjoy :)

Oh Kazzle Dazzle

Best man part-1 <3

Jesper : I want you to be my best man.

Kaz : & I want Pekka's a** drowned under ice court but hey! It's Ketterdam, not some wonderland to grant wishes! Go away, Jes.

Jesper : *smug smile* Oh what a shame! Inej'd be Wy's maid of honour. We thought of saving the best man & maid of honour a dance but since you're adamant...never mind!

Kaz :

Kaz : What do you want me to wear?

Wesper Meme

Wesper baby : *starts crying in the middle of the night

Wylan : ( sleepily) it's your turn Jesper

Jesper : ( sleepily) fine

Jesper : *starts crying

Wylan : why in Ghezen's name did I marry you ?