One Direction - Blog Posts

‘For your eyes only, I’ll show you my heart.’ 

reblog this with your favorite One Direction lyric - let’s spread this across the fandom

Oh my GOD <33333

in honor of the 10 year anniversary of the most ICONIC movie of all time, HSM, i decided to make this  :^)

I laughed harder than I should’ve

my relationship with one direction and their fandom is like this:

the boys are on stage and the fandom is in the audience. the theater is on fire and some audience members have extinguishers while others are pouring gasoline. everyone is screaming. im in the green room watching everything happen on the monitor and occasionally shouting at the screen

*Dies*

who the fuck made this

MAY YOU MEET YOUR FAV IN 2016

You’re insecure

You’ve never thought of yourself as someone beautiful.... To you there were plenty of other girls, that were prettier, funnier, skinnier. Niall had managed to make you feel special, and maybe a little bit beautiful, but insecurity always took over you when the two of you met his fans. Plenty of them were better than you. They were sweet, they were more beautiful, they were fitter, just making your self esteem go down the drain. 

Every time Niall had gone out with the boys or at the studio, You would just stand in front of the full length mirror in your shared bedroom, pointing out every single flaw you had, Your nose looked weird, your eyebrows were too bushy, you had too much acne, you were too fat. These were only a few comments you said to yourself. 

You were doing the same thing today, pointing out your flaws had become a daily routine for you. You were snapped out of your trance when you felt a Niall’s strong arms wrap around your waist. “Hi beautiful.” He greeted, kissing your cheek. “Hi.” You greeted, in a soft tone. “Admiring yourself?” He jokingly asked. You smiled slightly. “No.” You replied, your smile instantly vanishing. His eyes sprung up at your sudden change of emotion. “Are you okay princess?” He asked, concern lacing his voice. You turned around, putting the best fake smile you could master. “I’m fine.” You replied. 

Niall wasn’t convinced. His bright cerulean eyes filled with concern and worry. He removed an arm from your waist, to caress your cheek. “No you’re not princess. What’s wrong?” He asked sternly. Looking down at your feet. “I’ll just burden you.” You said under your breath. He lifted your head up, making gentle eye contact with you. “You are not a burden. My love, please tell me what’s wrong.” He pleaded. you sighed, “I-it’s not that easy.” You breathed out, tears filling up in your eyes. 

He saw how you were struggling, not able to get any words out of your mouth. He wrapped his arms around you, placing your head on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around him, both of you holding each other tightly. You were bawling your eyes out, every single tear that you’ve kept in. You’ve never been like this, you’ve always been emotionally strong, keeping a smile on your face and trying to be happy for the sake of others. Now.... you had just broken down, and in all honesty, you needed to get things out. 

You cried until you couldn’t anymore. Niall had been comforting you all the way, all you ever needed was his embrace and as he place soft kisses on your temple. Pulling away slightly, as he rested his forehead on yours and wiped away your tears. “Can you tell me darlin’?” He asked, his voice calm and soothing. Letting out a deep sigh as he wrapped an arm around your waist. 

You were trying to gather some courage to speak, but your voice wouldn’t let you. “Babe, I want to help you, I really do.” He said, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I’m just so insecure of myself, I don’t think I’m a good friend, I’m not a good person, every single girl out there is so much better than me. They’re beautiful, they’re funnier, they’re more caring, they’re fitter, why did you pick this piece of trash when you could of had a diamond?” You asked. 

You leaned your head on his shoulder. “You probably don’t want me anymore...” You trailed off, that was what hurt you the most, losing him, but you knew it would happen. “Princess...” He started. You pulled away, looking at your feet, trying to avoid eye contact. He held your chin with his index finger and thumb, lifting your head up to make eye contact. “Yes, there are many girls out there that I could of had, but my love, you are a diamond as well, and out of all those diamonds out there, you shone the brightest to me. My love you have no idea how wonderful you are. You make me smile and laugh on my worst of days, you’re there to comfort me, anyone would be so overjoyed to have you in their life.” He comforted. 

His words did manage to make you smile slightly, just the corners of your mouth curling up a bit. “Melody, you are the only one I want, I wouldn’t trade you for absolutely anything or anyone. You mean the absolute world to me, you’re my everything.” He added, bringing you in for a sweet and passionate kiss.You smiled in mid kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, playing with his hair, as you felt your heart soar and butterflies in your stomach. Both of you pulling away reluctantly. “I love you.” You told him, your voice soft with a smile curling up your lips. “I love you so much more, and I am going to help you love yourself. I’ll be with you every single step of the way.” He replied with his charming smile. “Thank you.” You thanked quietly. 

Now you could safely say, that incident changed your life for the better. Niall has been absolutely wonderful with helping you, you’ve become confident, you’re not afraid to speak your mind, it’s okay if you don’t please everybody, you’ve put your happiness before others and you can definitely say you’re much happier than before, you couldn’t express your thanks to Niall in words, he’s done so much for you, he’s been your number one supporter and he was so helpful, how amazing he is to love you unconditionally while you were trying to love yourself. He’s the best person you have in your life, and nothing would change your love for him.

___________

Hi lovlies! Sorry it took so long for an update, I know this is really late but Happy New Year!! I hope we all have an amazing 2016, let’s hope this year treats the 1D fandom well(I highly doubt that but let’s try) I wish all of you the best love ya <3 ~ Yas 

Always<3

Reblog if your blog will stay active during the hiatus

I could watch this a million times and still laugh every time

The boys video at the BBC Music Awards (12.10.15)

Two of my favourite things, Disney characters and ONe Direction <3

this is so cute omg

Niall with children= My death

My Own Personal Hell - Niall with little people!

He’s jealous

"Great seeing you again Danny.” I said and hugged him. “You too Y/N.” My childhood best friend, Danny was in town today and I decided to visit him while Niall was at the studio. I headed back home, while the paparazzi were following me around. “Y/N is it true you’re pregnant? “Y/N are you cheating on Niall?” “Y/N!” The paps continuously shouting my name and questions at me. Finally arriving home, seeing Niall on the couch.

I smiled. “Hi leprechaun.” I greeted. “Hi.” He mumbled. This is surprising, usually he would get up and greet me with a kiss. I hung my coat on the rack and put my purse down. I bent down, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “How was your day?” I asked. “Fine.” He mumbled expressionless. This is getting weird, and I am getting worried. I pouted and quickly kissed his temple then changed.

Sitting next to him on the couch, his eyes glued on the TV. “Nialler, are you okay?” I asked. Not a word. “Niall, talk to me, please?” I begged cutely and pouted, latching onto his arm. He still remained silent.

I sighed. ‘What has gotten into him today?’  I thought. “Mm.” I hummed while thinking, pursing my lips. “Nialler, why don’t we go on a little road trip tomorrow? The weather is beautiful and it’d be fun to have some exploring. What do ya say?” I asked. “Why don’t you go with Danny? I’m sure you’d have loads more fun.” He grumbled. “Niall is this what’s bothering you?” I asked.

Silent. I sighed. “Nialler.” I started, trying to resolve this calmly. “Are you jealous of Danny?” I asked with a slight smile on my lips. He started blushing. “W-what, Of course not!” He argued. I giggled. “You are! You’re blushing because of it.” I teased and poked his cheek. “Hmph.” He groaned and crossed his arms, he looked like a cute five year old.

I laughed slightly and shifted to sit on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, then pressing our foreheads together. Looking into those beautiful ocean blue eyes of his which never fail to make me swoon. “You know you’re the only one for me.” I said. He sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I’m just going to be honest, I’m scared.” He explained. 

“Why?” I asked.”That you might leave me for him, I mean he’s handsome, fit and he’s been your best friend for years, you guys have a great connection and so much in common, it just makes me feel like I’m not good enough for you and that-Mph.” I cut him off with a soft and passionate kiss. He smiled into the kiss. 

Wrapping his arms tighter around me and doing small circles on my back while I played with his hair.  We pulled away. He smiled warmly at me. “You do know you are very handsome and fit as well, I know we’ve been dating for a year but I think we have an amazing connection with each other and I only see Danny as a friend, or like a brother. I love you and that’s not going to change, I promise.” I said.  He smiled at me. 

Placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “How did I get so lucky to have a girlfriend like you?” He whispered. He loves to say his thoughts out loud. I blushed while shyly smiling. “I love you more baby girl.” He said and softly kissed me, both of us smiling into the kiss. We pulled away. “You do know that’s impossible.” I said. “No it’s very possible.” He said. “Can we cuddle now?” He asked cutely, showing that adorable smile. 

I giggled. “Of course.” I said and kissed his nose. We cuddled in a nice silence, enjoying each other’s embrace. I wouldn’t want anything more than this moment. 

________

Hi lovelies, sorry that this took so long. My exams are coming up and I’ve been really busy. So sorry if I’m inactive. 

- Yas <3

Bully

“Hey loser.” I heard, I mentally groaned when I heard his voice. Niall Horan, notorious for being one of school’s biggest bullies. I can’t believe I used to be best friends with him. He’s changed, and for the worse. I was pinned against the lockers, one of his arms, gripping mine and the other against the locker next to me. His face centimeters away from mine, although overwhelmed with fear, I couldn’t help but somewhat admire his features. 

His thin pink lips, His dyed blonde hair with his brunette roots, styled into a quiff, his button nose, his sharp jawline and finally, those ocean blue eyes that can strike fear with one glance yet somehow, so mesmerizing and... well, beautiful. 

“You’re looking fat and ugly as usual.” He snarled. I looked down, paying attention to my feet, yet tempted to look back and get lost in his eyes. “What’s the use of talking to a lonely nobody anyway?” He asked, and harshly pushed me away. 

I sighed as he walked away. What happened to that sweet boy I used to love? What do I mean used to, I know that sweet, carefree, little boy I fell in love with is still there, I know I’m wrong, but I refuse to believe he’s changed, I still believe that my Nialler is still there, but there’s nothing I can do to bring him back.

I sighed, walking to my next class, my head held low and wrapping my arms around myself. He’s right, I am a lonely nobody, Niall was my only and best friend, now I’m just a piece of shit that no one wants. Sitting at the back and covering myself with a hoodie. Slowly pulling my sleeve down and delicately tracing the scars I’ve caused.

“Oh my god! How lame are you to do that?” One of the bitches in the school came up to me, quickly hiding my wrist. “You self harm? Oh my god that’s so stupid of you.” “You know she actually looks good with those cuts.” “She’s and expert at it.” People gathering around me. I pushed past everyone and ran to the bathroom, knocking people as I did. 

Rushing into a stall and locking myself in it and tears flowing down my cheeks and muffling the sobs with my hand. What felt like hours of crying I finally finished and left, washing my swollen face and seeing my bloodshot eyes. I’m a mess. I sighed. “You’ve always been ugly Mel, that’s not changing.” I whispered to myself. Walking out feeling light-headed. Seeing Niall walk up to me, “Melody.” He called. That was the last thing that I heard when everything went black. 

Slowly opening my eyes, annoyed by the bright lights, and my head was pounding. “Where am I?” I groaned as I slowly sat up seeing...Niall, holding my hand and sleeping on the side of the bed. ‘What is he doing here?’ I thought. He flinched and sat up. “You’re awake! Oh thank goodness, you fainted.” He said and sighed of relief, seeing my sleeve rolled up and I quickly pulled it away from him. “I already saw it. “ He said. “Well, go ahead, make fun of me for doing it.” I said. “No baby.” He cooed and sat on the bed. “Why not? You’ve ruined my life already by hurting me, you left me, you’ve caused me enough grief. So why don’t you just torture me like you’ve always done.” I said, tears pouring out of my eyes. He sighed, reaching for my hands. “Get off me!” I shouted, pulling back, trying to get out of his grip. Pulling me into my chest and holding me tightly, while I was hitting his chest with my fists. 

Still holding onto me tightly, while crying my eyes out. I gave up, I feel to weak. The next thing I knew I was hugging him so tight, gripping onto the back of his T-shirt, crying silently in his arms. I felt I could lose him again if I let go.  “I’ve missed you so much.” I sobbed. “I’ve missed you too.” He cooed. Finally I ran out of tears, he did small circles on my back to calm me down and pressing his lips to my head. 

“Why?” I asked, my voice cracked from so much crying. “The doctors said you lost too much blood and apparently mentally exhausted.” He explained. “No, why did you turn on me?” I asked. He sighed and pulled away slightly. “Mel, I never meant to hurt you, I was forced to or you’d get hurt by the other bullies, I did it to protect you, but I only made it worse didn’t I?” He asked. I looked down, fiddling with my hands to avoid the question. 

He lifted up my chin, meeting with those beautiful eyes of his again, now full of concern and sorrow. “Mel, listen to me, I know I’ve hurt you, you don’t know how painful that is, to hurt the person that you love the most. Words can’t explain how regretful I am for doing all of those actions, saying all of those words. I despise myself for pushing you causing bruises when I wanted to run up to you and hold you. The words I said felt like a spear went through my heart every time it came out of my mouth. Mel, the word sorry isn’t enough for me to apologize, but please, I want my best friend back, I want to be with the girl who stole my heart.” He confessed. 

I did smile slightly, I know he’s sincere. “Nialler.” I called softly, he grinned when I called him by his nickname. I took his hands. “Let’s take baby steps okay? I need to get used to it again, hmm?” I asked, giving him a weak smile. “Of course princess.” He said smiling from ear to ear. We hugged, I can finally be in his arms again. 

It’s crazy how 6 months have past, now we’re as close just like before. I was walking by the field, when I heard his voice. “Munchkin!” He shouted, I turned around and he was running up to me and scooped me into a massive hug, lifting me up. I squealed as he did. We pulled away slightly, Niall still lifting me up. “What in the world happened?” I asked, giggling at how cute he looked. 

“I got into the school’s football(soccer) team!” He said excitingly. “Oh my god! That’s amazing Nialler!” I said and hugged him. We pulled away slightly, pushed by some guys running by, and our lips connected briefly. Quickly pulling away and blushing. He set me down. 

“Well, that was an awkward first kiss.” I said. “Well, why don’t we have a proper first kiss?” He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist. My cheeks heating up. He leaned in and softly and passionately kissed me. I melted into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and playing with his hair. I felt as time had stopped and it was only us in the entire world. Pulling away reluctantly and smiling at each other. 

“So, how was your first kiss?” He asked smiling from ear to ear and leaning his forehead on mine. I smiled. “Amazing.” I replied. “Well, you can enjoy more kisses if you agree to have a date with me this weekend...” He said with his cheeky smile. I giggled and tiptoed to kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you at 7 then.” I said and winked,pulling away and walking to my next class, looks like turned out well after all. 

_________

AN: Hi lovelies! Here is a new Niall Imagine and I hope you enjoy it! <3 (Hope it’s not too long) 

First Date

‘Take a deep breath Niall, you’ll be fine.’ I thought to myself. Today is finally the day I have my first date with my life-long best friend and now she’s my girlfriend! dressing in a plain white shirt, with a blue plaid flannel, and my black skinny jeans, I got a few white roses for her, I know she loves them. I checked myself in the mirror for the last time, fixing my hair a bit. I sighed and smiled at myself. “I can do this.” I encouraged myself. I got into my car, setting the flowers in the passenger seat and driving to Y/N’s flat.

I finally arrived and took the roses and went to her floor. ‘Calm down Niall.’ I kept repeating in my head. I rang her doorbell and waited. “Coming!” I heard her beautiful voice say. She opened the door and she never fails to stun me with her beauty. She was wearing a simple sleeveless dark blue dress with a white bow at the side. Her lovely (y/h/c) hair curled slightly. “Hey beautiful.” I greeted, with an enormous smile plastered on my face.

She blushed. “Hi handsome.” She greeted. “T-These are for you.” I stuttered, handing her the roses.  “Aww, thank you, their lovely.” She said and kissed my cheek, making me blush. She put them in a vase. “Now, milady, how about I take you on that date?” I asked, extending my hand and slightly bowing. She giggled. “Of course.” She replied, and curtsyed, taking my hand.

I smiled as I held her hand and opened the car door for her. “Such a gentlemen.” She joked. I laughed and shut the door, quickly running to the other side. “So where are we going for our date?” She asked. “You’ll see beautiful.” I said, holding her hand and kissing it. I’ve never been this nervous and excited before.

We arrived, I made reservations at a small yet fancy looking restaurant. “Horan.” I said, giving my name to the front desk. “Right this way Mr Horan.” The waiter said. He led us to our table and I pulled out and tucked in her seat, then quickly going over to mine.

“Now, what would the lovely couple like to order?” He asked after handing us our menus. I quickly read it then glanced at her, seeing how adorable she looks when she reads, her eyebrows slightly furrowed and her lips are pouting. I ordered the steak and she ordered the spaghetti.

“What do you think of the place?” I asked. “It’s lovely, you definitely know my style.” She said. I smiled as she did as well. I reached my hand over the table to hold her hand. She blushed when I did, making me giggle slightly at her adorableness. “Well beautiful, how was your day?” I asked. She sighed and went on complaining about it. “But this date did make it better.” She said.

“Well I’m glad that I lightened up your day.” I said. “And how was your day?” I asked. “Tiring, same old same old, studio, record, planning for tour, although I was nervous and excited for this date.” I said. She smiled and giggled. Our food came and as we were eating, I giggled at her, seeing spaghetti sauce near her lips. “Just a sec princess.” I said, grabbing the napkin and reaching over the table to wipe her mouth.

She blushed in embarrassment and I smiled. “Thank you.” She said. “You’re adorable princess.” I said.  She gave her cute shy smile. After dinner we decided to take a walk in the park, the park where we always came.

“So many memories in this park.” I said. “Yeah, I remember we first met here.” I said. “I remember coming here all the time to get away.” She said. “I remember playing Frisbee here and you accidentally hit my face.” I said. She giggled slightly. “Sorry about that.” She said. I giggled and kissed her temple. While walking I moved my hand towards hers. slightly grazing it, then intertwining it. She smiled, as he held it back, She leaned into my side and I placed a light kiss on her forehead.

I drove back to her place, walking her to her front door. “I had a nice time tonight.” She said. I smiled. “Me too princess.” I replied. “So how about another date sometime?” I asked. “I would love that.” She said. We hugged, she laid her head on my chest and my lips pressed to her head, giving her sweet kisses. We pulled away. “Thanks Nialler, I’ll see you around.” She said and tiptoed to kiss my cheek. I smiled. “Everything for my princess.” I said and kissed her forehead. I made sure she got in safely and sighed contently.

I arrived home and changed, laying down on my bed and smiling at myself. I grabbed my phone and quickly texted her. ‘Goodnight Princess, sweet dreams, <3′ ‘Goodnight leprechaun, sweet dreams <3′ She texted back. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, that was just the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

_________

AN: Hi everyone, sorry for late update, school has been stressing me out. Anyways, enjoy this imagine!

~Yas

Confessions

“Nialler.” I whined. “Give it back.” I said and tried to reach up for my laptop. “Nope.” He said simply with his cheeky smile. “Nialler, I need to do a paper, gimme!” I said, tiptoeing and trying to reach it. I hate being short sometimes. I sighed. “Pwease Nialler?” I asked, trying to be cute as possible. “No, not the puppy dog eyes.” He said. “Fine.” He gave up and gave me my laptop. “Yay! Thank you Nialler!” I said and quickly hugged him. “You are so lucky, you’re my best friend.” He said and messed up my hair. I squinted one eye. I was writing while he was spread out on the couch. “What’s that for?” He asked, leaning his head on my shoulder. ‘Creative writing.” I replied. 

He was walking around the place, while I was stuck on my paper. “I’m bored!” He whined for the 100th time. I sighed. I looked at him and he was pouting. I shook my head with a smirk. “I know Nialler.” I said. “Well let’s do something then!” He whined. I looked over and he was sat next to me, giving my puppy dog eyes and pouting. I sighed. I get lost in those beautiful blue eyes of his, and how do you resit someone this cute. “Nialler, you know this is important for me.” I said, trying to be cute as possible. 

He sighed and leaned his head on my shoulder. “Fine.” He said. I laughed at how cute and childish he is. “Thank you leprechaun.” I said and messed up his hair. I was halfway through my paper and Niall was being oddly quiet. I looked over, seeing him look bored out of his mind. I smiled, I love him, so much more than a friend. “Munchkin.” He said looking up at me. “Yeah?” I asked, absolutely mesmerized in his beautiful blue eyes. 

He sat up properly and I snapped out of my trance and blushed. He grinned and set my laptop on the coffee table. “Can I confess something?” He asked. “Of course you can.” I replied. He sighed and held my face with one hand, making me tense and blush. He smiled at me. “I love you, so much more than a best friend, I was such a coward not telling you earlier when I had so many chances. I love you, and I know you just think of me as a friend but-” 

“I love you too.” I cut him off. “You do?” He asked, shocked. I smiled and put my hand on top of his. “I do, a lot.” I added. He smiled so brightly. “Well munchkin, may I have the honor of taking you on a date this weekend?” He asked standing up and bowing. I laughed and got up and curtsyed, “You may kind sir.” I replied. We laughed and He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. This is like a dream come true. 

___________

AN: Sorry if it was really long, hoped you enjoyed it! -Yas xx

First Kiss

“Nialler!” I squealed and he suddenly hugged me, pulling me to his side. “Sorry princess.” He said.  We were at his for a movie night and he was being very playful. He sat me on his lap and kissed my cheek. “It’s so hard to watch a movie because of you.” I giggled and kissed his forehead. “Well, I have an adorable girlfriend, it’s hard not to just cuddle you.” He said. I giggled and hugged him.

“You’re adorable too.” I said. We pulled away and he kissed my nose making me giggle. He smiled, just looking at me. “Y/N.” He said. “Yeah?” I asked. He leaned in and I swear I froze. Our noses were touching and he was looking at my lips while I was looking at his eyes. Oh my goodness he’s going to kiss me! 

This is our first kiss together. He looked at me and grinned, One hand cupping my face and caressing my cheek. Our lips millimeters apart. “You’re so beautiful.” He mumbled against my lips before giving me a proper soft and passionate kiss. I swear I felt like I was walking on air when we kissed. I felt like my heart was soaring, butterflies in my stomach and tingly all over. 

We pulled away after what felt like hours of kissing but was only a mere minute. We smiled at each other, I was blushing. He kissed my forehead. “That was an amazing kiss.” I said still smiling because of it. “It was.” He said. “You’ll have to get used to me kissing you a lot.” He said. I giggled. “I wouldn’t mind at all.” I said quickly kissing him. 

He smiled. We continued to watch movies and stole a few kisses from each other. I can say it was one of the best dates I’ve ever had. 

Little collage I made, I was bored.... hehe

Niall Imagine.

You can’t sleep:

I sighed as I was staring up to the ceiling. Wide awake just staring at it, trying my hardest to fall asleep in order to get enough rest for uni tomorrow. Meanwhile Niall was practically knocked out, sleeping deeply, with his lips parted slightly to help him breath and an arm a draped around my waist. I slowly turned to my side, careful not to wake him up. 

I smiled, seeing how cute he looked. I delicately traced his features. He flinched at my touch as I pulled my hand away. He slowly opened his eyes halfway, he wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me into him, his lips softly pressed on my forehead. “Can’t sleep?” He mumbled, his voice cracked from sleeping. “Yeah.” I softly replied. 

He did small soothing circles on my waist and played with my hair. “Am I asleep, am I awake or somewhere in between?” He softly sang. Truly, Madly, Deeply, otherwise known as our song. My eyelids got heavy as I was slowly relaxing and falling asleep to his soothing voice. I felt him smile against my forehead. “Goodnight beautiful, sweet dreams.” He cooed. “I love you.” He whispered before I fell asleep with a smile on my face. 

One Direction

Hey! I'm a directioner and I'd like to find some other directioners to chat with.

There are crazy things that are happening all over the world today. Anger is raging in the hearts of many and the world feels more like a battleground than the place it use to be. Because of that, I am going to try my best and commit to not be one who has anger in her heart. I will not be one who pretends that she does not give a care in the world when she really is hurting and has emotions tenfold. I will not mask my hurt with anger and I will not mask my fear with pretending to be someone I’m not. There is a phrase that says that we should fake it till we make it, but what is that benefiting us? Sure we can learn to go through the motions, but then we’re not really living. We’re kind of just in that i between state. We should be able to live and love. Love is not weak, feeling emotions is not pitiful, and faking is not living. A person is allowed to feel hurt, but they should not always choose anger. Instead, they should let theirselves feel hurt and then try to understand how they could be better. Anger just leads to feeling bitter and confusion. It’s better to let yourself feel hurt and not be quick to anger. Hear the other person out, then tell them your side, and then come to an agreement. Anger reaps pride and pride reaps blaming others entirely for the mistake that involved both parties and not just one. Is that what we become? People who blame rather than love? People who are quick to anger rather than people who care? Again, love and caring are not weak. Instead, they make us stronger. Also, a person is allowed to feel fear. One should not be hiding their fears for toughness. Yes, it’s ok to feel tough, but it is also ok to feel fearful. This allows one to understand what they are afraid of. Though some may choose a path that makes them more fearful, instead choose a path that will help you get over your fears. Now that you have discovered your fears, what can you do to help you understand your fears as they really are-getting over the fear? All this that I just described is truly living. The negatives are not and make one instead go through the motions. Today, I vow to truly live.

I need to get this off my chest..... I’m sorry if I offend anyone in general or a group in general, but I feel I need to say this without trying to instigate anything between anyone. I see too much fighting and too much hate coming from a bunch of sides of the world who say that they aren’t hating and trying to get their point across. Let me tell you something. You’re still spreading hate when you’re calling someone a hypocrite, calling someone stupid, calling someone an idiot, a baby, a bad person, etc. How is this spreading hate? The person who calls another person this dehumanizes them and pins the blame on them. Pointing fingers is considered toxic according articles that I have looked up online(and most that I have read are written by therapists who are licensed in their state). People are saying things before they even try to understand what the other person is going through or understand the other persons point. I also see when someone does take the time to apologize and go out of their way to try and make things right, they are still shamed because of what happened in the past. That is taking that persons ability away to try and be better. When someone makes an effort to say sorry they should able to improve after that without anyone shaming them for what they did in the past! Also, a person should not be getting death threats because life is a gift, even to the beholder. Telling them to go kill themselves or telling them that you are the person that is going to find them and kill them is saying that they are trash and that they should have never been born. I’m tired of seeing all this on tumblr and other sites. We should be able to accept one another and try to make an effort to get along. If we really want to be a nation united , or even a world united. we need to start acting like it and start showing each other respect.

Sometimes people expect that you are alright and they might think that you have it all together. Most of the time though, those assumptions are incorrect. There are things that they will never see and battles that they will never know that you are going through. Sometimes it's scary because you want someone to shout out to you and ask if you are ok. Someone to follow that little prompting from above to help you out, but they never do. They look at you like they don't care and they don't care because they have the assumption that you are alright. Like an assumption that you might be too good for them because they are going through something too... It's hard to ask for help sometimes... It's hard because they all assume and because you feel like you would be too much of a burden on them. Or you think that they are going to judge you because they might think that you are just trying to seek attention. It's hard to get help because it is scary and you feel like you don't need help....

This is what anxiety feels like to many, or at least what I feel like when I have anxiety. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD on my mission for my church. Before I was diagnosed with these disorders, I always had a constant wave of insecurity, doubt, trouble believing in myself, and other things included that plagued. When I graduated from high school, I was sure that I would fall into a state of Schizophrenia by age 22 to 23(I haven't). When I was on my mission, I finally had the opportunity to look at things that could help me. I took those options because it came to the very end of the line, where one day I just wanted to end my life. The thoughts became too overbearing and I felt like if I just went away, sitting in the bath at the time, that everybody would be better off without me and my contributions. I never fully went through with it though because I just loved my life too much and the work I was doing at the time to end it all. I told my companion and my mission leader's wife and they helped me to get the help I needed. I am so happy that they were able to help me and that I was able to, through that see the light again. Though that was a very high point in my life, even with the help and the pills, I still get some of these thoughts sometimes. Even just two or three days without the pills because I didn't have my next precription in time, the effects are scary. I cry for no reason, things hurt more than they should, and I just feel a feeling of helplessness and like I can't do it anymore.

The reason why I guess I am writing this is to partly get things out and partly is to probably raise awareness that I am not the only one. When people joke about having anxiety, I understand that it is a joke, but they will never know what it is really like, unless they actually do have anxiety. Statistics from adaa.org have shown that at least a percentage of 18.1% of the population is diagnosed with anxiety, which is 40 million adults over the age of 18 alone.(ADAA.org) Imagine how many more people are diagnosed with anxiety and how many more kids could be diagnosed. Hypothetically speaking, that could be every two kids to one adult, but that may be wrong. According to SAMHSA's webpage, there has been a 27% increase in their phone calls from 2019 to 2020(numbers may have gone up since then. In 2019, SAMHSA had a high of 656,953 calls for the year. This number grew to be 833,598 calls in 2020.(SAMHSA) For more statistics and facts, go to www.adaa.org or www.samhsa.gov. This is only half of it.

ADAA has also pointed out that people diagnosed with Anxiety have also had Depression previous to this.(ADAA) The CDC states that those with an anxiety or depression disorder have has increased from 36.1% to 41.5% between August 2020 to February 2021.(CDC) Those with an OCD disorder are about every 1 in 40 adults, according to singlecare.com.(SINGLE CARE)

There are many people out there, who are suffering and are trying every day to hide it, just like I was. There are many out there who do not know that they have even have these disorders. Now that I have read through this, I want to bring awareness to these people. I want to help give them a voice. I want to because I am one of them. I know what it is like to struggle and what it is like to feel those feelings of discontent, sadness, and despair. These people can't be told to just stop and think more positive. These diseases are real and they are very riveting to every person who is diagnosed with them. Just like Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has said" ...Today, I am speaking of something more serious. Of an affliction so severe, that it significantly restricts a person's ability to function fully. A crater in the mind, so deep that no one can responsibly suggest that it would surely go away if those victims would just square their shoulders and think more positively."(LIKE A BROKEN VESSEL) Though he was talking about MDD(Major Depressive Disorder), this could be applied to what has been said before.

I want all who are going through this to know that they are not alone and that there are many, just like them. Do not be ashamed of what you have as a mental disorder, now speaking collectively to all disorders and not individually. You are not weird and you are not some freak who doesn't fit in. Don't worry, I once thought that too. It is ok to feel what you feel and it is ok to address and talk about it. You do not have to suffer alone. If you are struggling, please talk to someone who you feel comfortable talking to and get the help that you need, what ever it may be. My Chat is always open and though it may take me some time, I will answer back. Let's all come together and share our stories of our disorders and help help strengthen one another and to help us not feel alone.

You are amazing. You are worth it. You are loved. You are you. You may have a disorder, but do not let that define you. You are you.

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Sources:

Single Care

https://www.singlecare.com/blog/news/ocd-statistics/

ADAA

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics

CDC

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/wr/mm7013e2.htm

Like A Broken Vessel by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNAx2Rgq-uI

SAMHSA HELPLINE

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

Me too girl... Me too...

basically.

2024 has been just one big f*ckfest