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Peter: Loki! Violence isn’t the answer
Loki: I’m a god. Therefore I have the authority to say it is.
Peter: *pauses* Can’t argue with that logic
Tony: oh no
Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend
Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?
Loki: I would love too.
Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird
Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom
Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?
Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.
Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.
Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!
Mr Harrington at decathlon: You’re all wonderful people so I don’t think any of you have ever broken another person’s bones before
Peter and MJ look at each: About that...
Harrington: Okay, I kinda expected MJ but Peter?! Why are you breaking people’s bones?
Peter: Cause fighting non lethally is hard without breaking bones. I either break bones or I kill them
Harrington having a panic attack: Okay. Okay. This is normal. Trauma forces people to make bad choices.
MJ: I’m proud of you loser.
Flash: whatthefuckwhatthefuck
Peter our as Spider-Man talking to a criminal: Where can I find a wheelchair?
Criminal who’s rant was interrupted: What? Why?
Peter: Cause I can’t stand bullshit
Tony scolding Peter for doing stupid and dangerous things on patrol: Why?! You’re going to get yourself killed!
Peter and Loki: Here for a good time not a long time
Shuri coming in with a bottle of bleach: I was summoned and I brought drinks.