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Peter: Loki! Violence isn’t the answer
Loki: I’m a god. Therefore I have the authority to say it is.
Peter: *pauses* Can’t argue with that logic
Tony: oh no
Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend
Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?
Loki: I would love too.
Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird
Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom
Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?
Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.
Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.
Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!
Mr Harrington at decathlon: You’re all wonderful people so I don’t think any of you have ever broken another person’s bones before
Peter and MJ look at each: About that...
Harrington: Okay, I kinda expected MJ but Peter?! Why are you breaking people’s bones?
Peter: Cause fighting non lethally is hard without breaking bones. I either break bones or I kill them
Harrington having a panic attack: Okay. Okay. This is normal. Trauma forces people to make bad choices.
MJ: I’m proud of you loser.
Flash: whatthefuckwhatthefuck
Teacher: I think it’s a reasonable assumption that none of you have ever been shot.
Peter: Umm...
Teacher: Apparently I was wrong. Peter, what the fuck?
Peter: Hehe. Funny story. *jumps out the window*
Ned: Pfft- He’s out of here
Teacher: Do you know how he got shot?
Ned: Uh... *nyooms out the door*
MJ: Hey losers. Give me an honest answer on how much you hate Flash.
Peter: It cannot be represented by mortal means
Ned: I-
MJ:...That’s fair