This Got Really Long - Blog Posts

Not to mention Jin Ling then trying to turn all of his hatred onto Wen Ning afterwards. He's a kid who's been reminded of his parents' deaths with every breath he takes, only having stories about them and being fed Jiang Cheng's unhinged hatred for all the love that was lost. If Wei Wuxian turned out to not be the monster he thought he was, then he...he has to hate someone else!

But then Wen Ning turns out to be even MORE gentle than Wei Wuxian, filled with guilt for what happened, flinging himself in front of Lan Sizhui and saying "I won't fight back, get your anger out on me if it'll put you at ease!"

That scene had me crying too yo. Everyone rallies behind Lan Sizhui and calls Jin Ling out for being too aggressive - no one takes his side, no one understands how much he's been affected by his life. Jiang Cheng's solution is to tell him to get angry, but now that's just turned all of his peers against him and calling him violent and unreasonable. So he just breaks down sobbing saying "Yes, I'm a horrible person!" even though NONE of what happened is his fault and he has a right to be angry and trying to find an outlet for his emotion. He just doesn't know HOW. No one ever taught him, everyone ridicules him for crying and distances themselves from his anger. People treat him delicately yet say he needs to toughen up.

I think the worst part is that Wei Wuxian's first scathing (accidental) comment, "Your mother never taught you any manners" is kinda really true. He never had a mother to teach him to express himself, to support him and be vulnerable with him. We joke about how many uncles Jin Ling has but I mean how many AUNTS does he have? How many mother figures does he have? Qin Su is basically traumatized by the death of Jin Rusong so is maybe not the motherly type. Nie Huisang, Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng - unmarried, unmarried, unmarried.

Wei Wuxian is really the first one to A: tell Jin Ling to get over himself and doesn't treat him like some untouchable young master who no one has the right to lord over, B: openly admits when he's sorry and apologizes and teaches Jin Ling the concept of emotional vulnerability, C: stands by Jin Ling's side to teach him to be himself rather than scolding or threatening or guilting him to fit in better. The fact that Wei Wuxian is NOT a woman may even be better because Jin Ling is seeing that men don't have to fit into the unyielding mold of tough guys but can still have fun without being a pushover.

Jin Ling is such a tragedy because there really is no one left to blame. It's not that easy. Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning are responsible, but they're not maniacal villains laughing at the top of a mountain without a care in the world for the consequences. They cared, they had family who were lost, they suffered before and don't want anyone to suffer again - they hate themselves just as much for their part in what happened.

Even Jin Guangyao is such a complicated case for Jin Ling. It's the uncle who was always nice to him, who gave him his spirit dog, who was always putting on a smile. In comparison to Jiang Cheng, Jin Guangyao was a lifeline. And then Jin Guangyao turns out to be a villain who doesn't bat an eye at killing and threatening...but who also didn't WANT these bad things to be "necessary." He too was wronged by the world and lashed out at its unfairness.

This fifteen year old kid has gone through so much, simultaneously pampered into a spoiled brat and utterly isolated from his peers, filled with vengeance for his entire life but also trying to love and be loved. He learned from Jiang Cheng to pretend to be above it all, and he learned from Jin Guangyao to be kind and forgive, but all of it was lies and unhealthy coping. Jiang Cheng essentially taught him to argue with anyone who disagrees with him or looks down on him to assert his dominance, and Jin Guangyao taught him to suppress his desire to speak his mind and never start fights because of etiquette and self-preservation - to the point that he rejects who he is and wants to be.

At this age, Jin Ling's already having to learn the lesson that everyone's going to be throwing opinions around, no one is perfect, you can't easily sort people into categories. In the end, he can take advice from others, but it's up to him to make the choice of who he wants to be. And he's learned that unrelenting resentment makes for an easy path to walk in life, but it's not actually how life works. The cultivation world can turn on someone they worshipped unconditionally. That included Wei Wuxian, that included Jin Guangyao, and even to an extent Jin Ling himself.

He has to take over the Jin Clan after all these scandals and atrocities, but he's become the kind of kid who will answer an insignificant man's plea for help, who is making friends who won't judge him and will stand by him even when he makes mistakes, and by the end of the story he's matured, yet also finally learned to be a kid. Nothing's perfect, none of the tragedies of the past can be reversed (and Jiang Cheng's still gonna get into fights whenever he accidentally runs into Wen Ning), but at least now Jin Ling can choose how he decides to live, who he hates and who he forgives.

while reading the books, i remember wei wuxian’s relationship with jin ling hitting me especially hard. i was crying when the whole stabbing thing happened. but i truly adore what becomes of them and do you know why? because jin ling does something the others could never, something miraculous really––he actually unlearns the prejudice he’s been taught to hold against wei wuxian. he meets wwx, full of disdain, slowly learning about who wwx really is and it has nothing to do with wwx’s outward appearance. and when the truth is revealed, the internal warring for jin ling is plainly portrayed and even if he does give in to a hate intermingled with grief that he has internalised towards this one entity (wei wuxian was never a person in his mind, just the ‘killer’ of his parents, a phantom, before the events of the book happened), you can tell his heart has already turned, that it will keep turning and that’s what happens. you have jin ling, an orphaned child, who hated someone whom his mother loved dearly, because that man caused his parents’ death but it is such a commendable thing that wei wuxian was able to create a space in jin ling’s heart and jin ling was able to accept it. it’s the way both jin ling & jiang cheng blame the death of their parents on wwx but only the former was able to see wei wuxian clearly and actually forge a bond of love with him.

it’s the fact that if ANYONE in this story can actually rightfully hold a grudge against wei wuxian, it’s jin ling, but instead this teenager decides that wei wuxian is much too good and that having him as an uncle is lovely, after all.

I'd argue that Jiang Cheng doesn't care much for his reputation after all these years, or at the very least he hasn't been afraid to have a hardass, why-are-you-LIKE-this-you-asshole reputation if it puts on a front of being uncaring, spiteful, and someone not to be messed with. Jiang Cheng has always put on confrontational facades, but he cares about his family at heart. He pretended to abandon Wei Wuxian during his defection to the Wens, but still considered Wei Wuxian part of his family in secret until things went south in a confrontation reveled to be complete happenstance. He loves and hates Wei Wuxian for different reasons but with equal ferocity and has a genuine right to both - he has the right to hate Wei Wuxian, but he also has the right to love him without needing to owe him or having peer pressure force him into it.

Jin Guangyao got under his skin by making the rightful assumption that Jiang Cheng was willing to abandon Wei Wuxian when things got hard and his reputation was at risk, because Jiang Cheng IS the person who will put up a front of abandoning, swearing revenge, hating people. But he was also the one INSISTING that Wei Wuxian HAD to be back at some point, a twisted mass of his desire to hate Wei Wuxian mixing with his real desire to have him back. He wants his brother back, he wants his family back, but Wei Wuxian is the only one he KNOWS can return, however tragic that is. He's the first to accuse Jin Guangyao of intentionally setting up Wei Wuxian during the ambush and getting Jin Ling's parents killed as a result - if he has someone else to blame other than Wei Wuxian, he's now ferociously defending his brother. Even Wei Wuxian admits that it really was just an accident; sure, Jin Guangyao pulled some strings, but he would have gotten into trouble eventually. But now Jiang Cheng NEEDS someone else to be at fault, because he doesn't want to hate Wei Wuxian anymore. He CAN'T hate Wei Wuxian, for all he wants to.

Not just because of the golden core revelation, but because he's finally maturing as a person and understanding why Wei Wuxian did what he did. He hates it, but now he understands Wei Wuxian a little better.

The book even compares his refusal to confess why he lost his golden core to why Wei Wuxian never told him about the transfer. In just a tiny little way, Jiang Cheng has become more like Wei Wuxian. In the end, he makes a very similar choice and will likely never admit what happened. This time, there's no third party who can force a confession of this tiny little incident. Wei Wuxian can live freely without the weight of that guilt still haunting their relationship, and for once Jiang Cheng's willing to sacrifice any self-satisfaction of saying "well ha actually I deserve this golden core after all I've done for you" to put the tragedy of the past in the past.

Imagine the teenage Jiang Cheng, or the one who was just rebuilding the Jiang Clan after the Sunshot Campaign. Would he have been able to let something like that go? If he and Wei Wuxian got into an argument about what was right and wrong, who owed who, would he have really been able to let it go? He'd already stomached Wei Wuxian’s legitimate, heartbreaking betrayal of his vow to stand with the Jiang Clan and Jiang Cheng no matter what. He was unwilling to see how his own pride had corrupted their relationship and was willing to sacrifice innocent Wens at first. It was Wei Wuxian who convinced him that doing the right thing was better than any reputation, and Jiang Cheng was the fool for abandoning HIM. While his pride couldn't stand it, he at least TRIED to make it work, for a period. Because his love for Wei Wuxian marginally outweighed his hatred.

He's spent all this time hating Wei Wuxian and clinging to the past betrayal and subsequent misfortunes rather than moving forward and trying to make the best of his life - more importantly, to teach Jin Ling to be better. In his own, prideful and stubborn way, letting go of the incident was his first step into changing and trying to forget the past and actually move on. Wei Wuxian doesn't want any trouble, and now neither does Jiang Cheng.

To be clear, this isn't to say Jiang Cheng has magically fixed as a person. He's still a stubborn hardass brandishing his whip whenever he gets pissed off, and Wei Wuxian will likely still never consider Lotus Pier his home - even if he now manages to visit with only a mild complaint from Jiang Cheng every five steps he takes. But it's progress. It's him saying "fine, we can stop bringing up past grudges and get along - only when we have to! You walk your damn path, I'll walk mine."

And maybe, one day, now that they aren't worried about pleasing or betraying the other, they can make steps to becoming friends again, and even becoming family.

For Jin Ling's sake, of course, why would he LIKE Wei Wuxian or anything, he's just that annoying guy clinging to Hanguang-jun I think.

Y'all wanna know also why JC can't tell WWX about distracting the Wens back then?

Because it means jackshit when later he leads a siege on him in an attempt to kill him and WWX ultimately dies as result (yknow we cant say 'kill' because see he just helped JGS....just brought the most resources...just helped them plan but since he failed in landing the final strike it cant be called 'killed')

Like if at that point in guanyin temple, if he were to even begin saying 'I saved you back then' whats that gonna do? because nice? Good job? He also participated in killing him afterwards?

Whatever weight that sacrifice had, was nullified by his every action afterwards.

There's a reason that him keeping quiet about is considered an indication of his character growth, because he had the clarity.

The entire series is about Shen Qiao’s growing affection for Yan Wushi, just expressed in ways that are very specific to him as a character, and it’s freaking adorable the whole time.

Shen Qiao is very aware that Yan Wushi is a little messed up from the moment they meet, but in the end he has to admit that Yan Wushi is a very smart and more knowledgeable person. Shen Qiao is drawn to him every time Yan Wushi makes a very reasonable and intelligent remark - especially in regards to predicting how human hearts work. While Yan Wushi thinks evil is the root of all hearts, he’s not in denial about love and sympathy EXISTING; he just believes these things are not strong enough or always end up the reason someone is corrupted one way or another.

Shen Qiao is undeniably attracted to a smart man, especially one who is still fundamentally teaching him things about the world that he never knew. Yan Wushi explains things in terms Shen Qiao understands - good things exist, they can both agree on this, but bad things also happen, and they agree on this. Now the two of them get to debate the overall takeaway from these two points. They disagree on the conclusion, but they agree on the evidence presented.

Shen Qiao gets so engaged in listening to Yan Wushi’s advice that Yan Wushi can play around with him like "There's a lesson to be learned, find it" even when he just wants to play chess and see Shen Qiao’s serious expression and over-trusting nature. Shen Qiao knows Yan Wushi teases him, but he also loves to learn from him, and so trusts him again and again.

Shen Qiao denies Yan Wushi’s advances in the same way that he does when others flirt with him - Yan Wushi never stops but also rarely goes too far. Yan Wushi starts teasing and parading him around as a kept man and Shen Qiao eventually gets used to it and shuts him down whenever possible, but he never gets angry about it because it’s just a little dumb fun after all. Yan Wushi calls him A-Qiao and "my" A-Qiao and Shen Qiao protests before giving up and letting him have his way because it's just a name, where’s the harm? Yan Wushi kissed him so hard he passed out from the rage and indignation but Shen Qiao can’t really say it was harmful in comparison to what other things Yan Wushi could have forced upon him.

In all instances, Shen Qiao never or very tamely loses his temper, but Yan Wushi is also never losing his temper at Shen Qiao’s stubbornness, and it makes for a solid basis for their relationship that I really love. Yan Wushi never forces Shen Qiao into a physical relationship and is even seemingly averse to physical and/or sexual relationships (note his feelings towards Hehuan Sect and indifference to pair cultivation), seeing a kiss as his limit to forcing anything from Shen Qiao - and something he doesn’t think is special beyond a way to tease.

In essence, Shen Qiao recognizes that Yan Wushi WANTS him to have some level of hope and agency in his life, rather than simply micromanaging Shen Qiao until he gets what he wants. He wants Shen Qiao to make the final choice, to admit he’s wrong by his own open admission. He confirms that though Yan Wushi finds him physically attractive like the rest, it’s not his appearance that Yan Wushi is attracted to - it’s his mind and his mentality. This means their relationship’s primary development is entire romantic in nature, a mental game between their equally stubborn and tolerant personalities and how their minds end up very compatible even when clashing in deep philosophical debates.

Compare this to almost every other villain we have. People who try to force Shen Qiao to be locked up without agency like Yu Ai, people who hold others hostage like Chen Gong, and pretty much everyone else who thinks killing Shen Qiao or crippling him or physically/psychological abusing him to force him into submission.

Yan Wushi does beat him up a few times, but what’s his primary method of "torturing" Shen Qiao? It’s letting others do the work. It’s dropping him into an impoverished area to see what it’s like to fend for himself. It’s letting others who covet the Zhuyang Strategy hunt him down. It’s letting Chen Gong befriend and betray him. It’s actively escorting Shen Qiao to Xuandu Mountain to be betrayed by Yu Ai up close and personal. It’s letting others belittle and spit on his name and reputation while Yan Wushi himself treats Shen Qiao like he’s special and precious and saving his life over and over. It’s trading Shen Qiao to Sang Jingxing but leaving him with his sword and a demonic core - a way out, a means of still fighting back, even if it breaks him to do so.

Even in the extras it’s stated that Yan Wushi likes watching misfortune befall someone, whether it’s their own fault or just bad luck. He doesn’t have any aspirations of being an emperor, doesn’t care whether most important figures live or die. Despite wanting to be and then being the top martial artist in the world, he mostly just likes to WATCH. He knows nothing is permanent, not good or bad; he’s entertained by causing mischief, but he’s far from tyrannical. He’s just a massively powerful troublemaker, like a trickster god, and Shen Qiao ends up finding it charming because Yan Wushi ends up doing nearly as much good as Shen Qiao - they can’s save everyone, they can’t make everything perfect or prosperous forever, but they do try. And they do sometimes even suceed.

Yan Wushi will watch in amusement as Shen Qiao struggles, but ultimately what he really wants is to win the argument - not necessarily to make Shen Qiao die but to make his morals break. He’s flippant but patient, he’s powerful but not overbearing. He thinks very little of Shen Qiao’s physical presence and only thinks his mind is a worthy opponent.

Shen Qiao being at Yan Wushi’s mercy at the beginning of their relationship gives him a glimpse into Yan Wushi’s motives and true levels of evil, and he’s intrigued. Yan Wushi is all too aware of the evil nature of humanity, but in a way he rebels against it just as much as he denies all that is generous and kind. In the end, Yan Wushi’s misanthropy is also a deep hatred for the corruption that he thinks exists in every human heart. Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi are equally adamant about uprooting evil, just with their own personalities being what truly clashes.

Shen Qiao himself doesn’t recognize his attraction for Yan Wushi for a long time, but as a reader you can absolutely see how he falls in love with Yan Wushi as a mental opponent as well - someone who makes Shen Qiao really THINK, who challenges him to be an even better version of himself, and whose misanthropy being in his life only further solidifies his own empathetic beliefs in ways he could have never managed on his own. Yan Wushi may love teasing Shen Qiao, but Shen Qiao very much loves arguing back against Yan Wushi.

I'm not going to make a fanfiction, I'm not going to make a fanfiction, I'm 300 pages in but I'm not making a fanfiction or anything -

Hey! I found the "cut it off so you have to click a button to see the whole rant" button! How many made it this far down? Be honest.

I notice people tend to only focus on Yan Wushi's affection towards Shen Qiao cause it's the more obvious one of the two Yan Wushi doesn't tend to feel any need to hide his emotions like. At all but I absolutely live for the little moments in the extras where Shen Qiao shows his fondness of Yan Wushi. The small, subtle smiles, moments where Shen Qiao laughs at something Yan Wushi says. He's a reserved person already, and while Shen Qiao does get flustered, he also doesn't generally startle easily when it comes to come ons (see his calm rejections of other people who have liked him) but since Yan Wushi does happen to be a uniquely infuriating person - it's quite sweet to see when Shen Qiao's affection does peak through, rare as it is.

Give me glimpses of the Shen Qiao that is so outwardly exasperated on the daily, but would go to the ends of the Earth for his partner. Give me glimpses of the Shen Qiao that can't help admiring the tenacious, stubborn, confident arrogant aspects of Yan Wushi, despite them believing in such diametrically opposed ideologies. Give me glimpses of the Shen Qiao that marvels in their similarities and differences. Give me glimpses of the Shen Qiao that's so exasperated by Yan Wushi's nonsense that he just has to laugh. Give me glimpses of the Shen Qiao that fell in love with Yan Wushi, against all odds.

I love it.

Just our boy's face, actually being taken off guard for once because Xie Lian recognizing him in any way seemed beyond him for all these years. ☺️

He spent his childhood thinking Xie Lian wouldn't remember anything about him, perhaps even HOPING His Highness wouldn't remember him because of how ashamed he was to even exist. He spent his life ridiculed, looked down upon, and thought himself ugly and cursed, but Xie Lian treated him well all the same. He was surprised when he learned Xie Lian didn't even know he was kicked out of the army, thinking Xie Lian had personally given up on him, only to be relieved that he wasn't aware (and had even recommended him, so yeah dick move there Mu Qing, you deserved a few punches).

Xie Lian didn't even seem to connect the bandaged child to the young bandaged soldier, then he wasn't recognized as a little ghost flame or a Wrath as Wuming. Hua Cheng thought his love for Xie Lian would be seen as just another horrendous part of him, but he could still indulge in it so long as Xie Lian never knew. He's so terrified of Xie Lian finding out about his obsession that helped him become a Supreme that he nearly misses Xie Lian being put under a spell and is scared to let him free just because of his fear of rejection. He immediately says he'll destroy the murals and divine statues before Xie Lian finally beats it into his head that he doesn't want them destroyed and wasn't averse to any of it from the start - just a little surprised and amazed.

Our boy was nervous to show his true form for the first time, suave as he played it off, still thinking he's going to be too ugly and tainted to be worthy of Xie Lian's attention, or to just not be memorable at all. He's constantly worried about hurting him, offending him, or showing horrible sides of himself, but by the time we get to Qi Rong, Hua Cheng has an even bigger grudge against him than Mu Quing and actually gets really angry - to the point that Xie Lian even notices. While he's just trying to clear Xie Lian's name, he goes to the effort of paralyzing him and forcing the truth to come out, which is a huge betrayal of trust and the only time he seriously goes against Xie Lian's wishes. Hua Cheng is fine with being the bad guy to do the dirty work so Xie Lian never has to, so he's even MORE shocked that Xie Lian stands up for him in that moment because at that point, the illusion of a kind stranger has begun to crack, and there's no going back.

Xie Lian is absolutely willing to be the bad guy just to make sure others aren't punished, even if one of them fought for a pretty lie and the other fought for the ugly truth. Remember that Hua Cheng knows basically nothing of the 800 years after almost dying as Wuming and becoming a Supreme, since even all his resources couldn't find Xie Lian while he was unaffiliated with the Heavenly Court - probably Xie Lian's awful luck making him nearly impossible to track down until Hua Cheng got some godly(ghostly?) luck to counteract it (also probably the same reason Xie Lian never mamaged to hear about this famous "Ghost King Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower" dude, since the human realm doesn't keep up with that stuff); only his third ascension allowed him to find Xie Lian again, and Xie Lian has gone through even more tragedies that Hua Cheng doesn't even know about.

Hua Cheng seems to have forgotten that Xie Lian is more like him than his idolized memories would have him believe. Xie Lian is willing to fight for what he believes in - and he's freaking STRONG and SKILLED enough to do it, he's just purposefully asked to be hindered and contains himself whenever possible - not just a passenger to his fate, and he will care for Hua Cheng whether he's a monster or a beast because they're friends, not even with anything more being involved. Our prince is used to being ridiculed and targeted, especially by his cousin, but badmouth his friends and get slapped!

Anyway so the above image lives rent-free in my head nbd

Ok, I am never gonna be over this moment.

I wanna know exactly what Hua Cheng is thinking with this look on his face!!

I want first class premium access to all the thoughts racing in his brain rn because... man....

Hua Cheng has never expected Xie Lian to return his affection and love or to defend him or to fight for him, yet Xie Lian starts feeling it and showing it more and more, as he inevitably falls deeply for Hua Cheng. Now that Xie Lian is in his life again and it's no longer one-sided, it's too much for him. You can tell he hasn't planned for this.

In the novel, he says at some point later down the line that he wants to become stronger to win over his beloved, but he didn't actually realize that 1. it would be so soon and 2. Xie Lian would also feel the need to defend him.

Hua Cheng would give the whole world to Xie Lian without even expecting a "thanks", so when Xie Lian starts actually reciprocating his actions more and more, it leaves him speechless and heart-eyed every time.

They both love each other so much, but don't realize how worthy they are of each other's love and care.

I am in love HuaLian's love!

Let's talk about Tidus and Yuna, shall we?

As someone who enjoys FFX, this probably should have come a long time ago. Tidus and Yuna's characters in the original Final Fantasy 10 are excellent.

Tidus successfully portrays a seventeen-year-old boy in this fantasy situation - slightly annoying, slightly arrogant because of his famous father and his own famous Blitzball career, and utterly overwhelmed by being thrust into an entirely new world without knowing if he can go home.

While FFX tries to fake you out into thinking it's a time-travel story where he has been thrust 1000 years into the future, the city of Zanarkand is a physical location in Spira that just requires you to be made of pyreflies to enter (aka dead or a summon). This makes Tidus essentially a summon, which is an interesting theory for another day. This means Zanarkand is just a place that hasn't changed in 1000 years, likely in some infinite loop imagining and reimagining people who had once lived there - warping them slowly over time, but ultimately just trying to keep the city alive (which is how we got Tidus from Shuyin, I think, idk I really don't care for 10-2's plot). The fayth were trying to imagine what would happen if Zanarkand was never destroyed, but I think they simply would have started running out of ideas for new people who lived there, so it did end up looping old characters into slightly newer forms. Like fanfiction characters, honestly.

But it's so great to see Tidus's journey. He starts the game a confused outsider just trying to survive, someone who doesn't mind speaking up about how he feels and what he believes. His outsider perspective provides a means for the audience to be introduced to Spira's world building as well, and we also get to see an unbiased point of view to Yevon's religion - and not necessarily a disrespectful one. Tidus, though he doesn't preach Yevon as a devout follower for his entire life, still tries to make an effort to be respectful of the good parts. When Shelinda corrects him, "That's MAESTER Seymour, or LORD Seymour", he says "Sorry, I'll be careful."

He dashes into the Cloister of Trials to save the summoner who might be in danger, regardless of the rules or presincts, because he's got a childish outlook life and a good heart despite his many inital arrogant qualities. He wants the best outcome, he's willing to believe in doing the right thing even when it's hard, and yeah it's unrealistic at times, but it's a breath of fresh air for the people of Spira who live rather docile lives always in fear of Sin and dedicating themselves to the kindness of Yevon's teachings. He admits "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea" after he breaks the rules for the first time, and watching Yuna on her pilgrimage and how she interacts with the people who admire her for her father and her own summoner status allows Tidus to humble himself while still remaining fundamentally defiant to anything he doesn't agree is right - aka Yuna sacrificing herself.

Religion isn't always a bad thing, and FFX makes a point to emphasize this. The people of Spira are kind and respectful, banding together in the hard times and unting together to have hope. Yuna is initially a beacon of hope - all summoners are - making people smile and flock to her wherever she goes, and she gives people respect and encourages them to have faith not only in her, but in themselves as well. Even when she's branded a traitor, a significant number of people recognize Yuna's dedication to the people and immediately believe the next tale about it all being an evil Al-Bhed rumor.

Yevon's corruption is just a few people abusing their power, twisting a good message into a cult-like dedication. Wakka is the most notable case, but technically all of the characters go through a period of blindly believing in the teachings and Yevon and eventually finding their own path. Even Tidus, who didn't grow up believing in Yevon or knowing its teachings, finds that the people's way of life living in rightful fear of Sin has them NEEDING Yevon and the messages of kindness and compassion it preaches. Maybe they shouldn't believe in everything the Maesters say Yevon is, but he can understand the intentions behind it and how the regular, uncorrupt people just live their lives trying to be good.

Now that I think about it, the parallels between Yevon and Blitzball actually make a lot of sense - Blitzball is the entertainment people go to in order to forget about the fears of Sin, and Yevon is the religion people worship in an effort to band together and have hope against Sin. Huh. No wonder a Blitzball sign for victory became a religious thing.

Anyway, Wakka eventually apologizes! He recognizes that the Al-Bhed are just people. They don't believe in Yevon's ways BECAUSE they care, just from a different perspective. Just because they don't believe in Yevon doesn't mean they're savages, and when their Home is destroyed by merciless Guado, he hears them singing the Hymn of the Fayth to respect their fallen as well. Wakka admits he didn't want to hear anything he didn't agree with, that he was a jerk, and Cid agrees that he's hated Yevonites just for being Yevonites too.

Here's a Wakka glare just for our collective amusement.

Who were we talking about? Ah, Tidus.

Tidus is indeed a whiny character, childish, toeing the line between humor and annoyance. But he matures throughout the course of his journey, caring for the entire crew but Yuna especially. When they reach Zanarkand and learn the truth about the Final Summoning, Lulu tells him, "If you want everything, you'll end up with nothing," and he replies, "But I want everything!" His unwavering hope and optimism even when everyone is telling him it's impossible is necessary for the story, to tell the characters that yes, your sacrifices will be pretty and give temporary relief, and you'll be dead and martyred and remembered - but how can it be right? It's not.

From his basic, outsider, new perspective on this world he only just joined, it's not right. He didn't grow up with this being normal, so even in comparison to the Al-Bhed, he knows that it's not.

There's a saying somewhere that I forget the source, but basically it goes like "Children are raised to believe the world is good and fair but are outraged when they grow to learn it is not." Tidus asks what an ADULT would do, sacrificing a summoner and just moving on with their lives like it was fine to give one life for many, just happy it wasn't them. Adults are indoctrinated into a way of life and a way of thinking, and it's extremely hard to get people to change their minds - but not, as FFX proves, impossible. Both he and Yuna are still kids, kids who are still able to grow up to see the world for what it truly is.

Yuna was betrayed by Yevon, all her beliefs torn down and the hope she had placed on the system shattered. But she continued her pilgrimage. She dreamt of all the fun things she could do if she quit, knew that all of her friends and Guardians would accept her choice, but she knew she could never let it go. She stood up to the Ronso saying that she was fighting for the people, not the temples or Yevon - impressing Kelk Ronso who says she has an iron will that towers over Gagazette's peaks.

She has given her everything to this trip, but it's not fair. Just because it's the right thing to do doesn't mean it's right - and you need a character like Tidus to put his foot down and say no. Everyone is willing to sacrifice themselves, everyone is willing to be the one to die so that others can be happy. But it's not fair. It's not right to let anyone die, even if they're willing, even if it's one for many. It's a temporary fix, it's feeding an endless cycle of lies and false hope. It's not real.

But it is YUNA who ultimately makes the choice to say no. All this time, she's been insisting she keeps going despite both Rikku and Tidus's protests and desperate attempts to get her to change her mind. She's been the most resolute out of all of them to go through with this, but in the end, it's not Tidus or Rikku who kill Yunalesca before she can get the chance or present her a stirring enough argument or some alternative. No, it's Yuna who asks directly what the cycle of the Final Summoning and Sin mean, hearing that the hope they offer is false, and when asked who will be her fayth, everyone is silent, waiting for her answer - because it is Yuna'a choice, Yuna's pilgrimage, Yuna's story. And she says, "No one."

She would have gladly died for the people of Spira, but she is done. She isn't going to join into this cycle of death and lies. Her father chose to become a summoner and defeated Sin, but it was because he truly believed that it would make a difference. He died because he had hope, and maybe it was indeed false hope, but somewhere deep down, he really did want to find a way to stop Sin for good. He and Jecht went into that battle hoping that Jecht and Auron would find a way to break the cycle. And let's be honest, they did. Tidus and Yuna were brought up differently, but they end up seeing each other's sides of the story and agreeing on so many things. The people are worth fighting for even when they're being misled.

Yunalesca's argument is that sorrow will always exist, and false hope is all anyone can offer to soften the blow. But Yuna is ready to live with her sorrow and brave whatever comes from it. She will find her own hope, even without knowing there will be another way, and she knows she will conquer it. She proved it long before she reached Zanarkand, after enduring Yevon's betrayal; now her methods have changed, but her end goal is as resolute as it's always been. She's going to defeat Sin, and she's going to give people REAL hope, even when it's hard.

Yuna says no to Yunalesca. She joins in the fight to destroy the Final Summoning forever, and slowly she learns that she can function beyond Yevon's teachings. The team who made 10-2 seemed to think that Yuna needed to toughen up and become some kind of badass (which they failed at portraying, Yuna is an utter wreck in that game and let's not talk about how Rikku devolved), but she was already a freaking strong character! She stood up for herself the entire game as a strong-willed summoner willing to give her life for the cause, but she also stood up for herself by declaring she would LIVE. It's entirely in character for her, even when she's changing her mind and broadening her horizons. Yuna was the character who smiled even knowing she was on a long, slow journey that would end in her death, who was willing to do it if it would make others smile too. That is a strong character right there.

I do agree that she might not know what to do with her life now that she doesn't plan to die, but come on, don't make her into a wanna-be who tries to pretend like she doesn't care only to reveal yup she cares, what a pushover. Her caring nature is what makes her great to watch! Frustrating when she tries to do everything on her own with the Seymour thing, but entirely in character. Empowering when she makes her own choices and decides for herself. I don't know why she does nothing for two whole years during Eternal Calm but okay maybe I can see it. But for her to try doing a 180, respecting no one and no one respecting her even though she DEFEATED SIN was such a mistake. Plus the mini games in 10-2 are utterly atrocious. Anyway, tangent over.

But then the script has flipped at the end of 10. Tidus is the one that realizes Zanarkand is what Sin is protecting, that defeating Sin will make the whole city and everyone made from the dream disappear. He is the one who has to sacrifice himself for Sin to be defeated. Unlike summoners, however, Sin won't come back if he does this. He's grown across the journey just like Jecht did, following a summoner and learning what it means to want to give your life living in hope that it'll save everyone else.

Yuna has to sacrifice the Aeons she's forged her own bond with - which, remember, every summoner makes a unique bond with the aeons. She has to say goodbye to Auron, see Sir Jecht only one more time as he gives his life as an Aeon and uses the last of his power to give his sword for the final battles to fight on (did ya notice that?). Then, in the final tragic scene, Tidus becomes intangible and tries to say a cheerful goodbye, apologizing for not being able to show her Zanarkand like they had pondered when Yuna was dreaming of the things she'd do if she abandoned her pilgrimage and lived. Now, Yuna is the one having to say goodbye to the one sacrificing their life. The soft piano, the wailing of the colorful pyreflies as they disperse with all the dead, it's freaking beautiful man.

Yuna's final line hits hard too, her speech about how everyone has lost homes, dreams, and friends. They can build new homes and new dreams, even if they can't get back lost friends. "The people and the friends that we have lost...or the dreams that have faded...never forget them." Get it? Be...Because Tidus is a dream that faded? Anyway I'll just be crying in the corner over here don't mind me.

In the end, it's sort of understandable why Yuna just sits around in Besaid after the end of 10 during Eternal Calm. Maybe. Not only did she have no plans for her life after Sin was defeated (thinking she would be the one to die), but she lost her entire purpose in life AND she's reeling from the fact that even though she made the choice not to sacrifice herself just for everyone else's false hope, someone still had to give their life - Tidus. Someone still ended up dying for the cause, even after all she went through deciding to live.

The ONLY moments I actually respect Yuna from 10-2 is during the end, when Nooj volunteers a plan to give his life to win the battle (which was already stupid even before Yuna's speech because we're talking about an Unsent, Nooj your plan does nothing to stop someone who's already dead, idiot). Yuna's lines are extremely good and well voice acted too: "'We had no choice.' Always 'We had no choice.' Those are our magic words. We repeat them to ourselves again and again. But you know... The magic never worked! The only thing we're left with is regret. No. I don't want this anymore. I don't want friends to die...or fade away. I don't want battles where we have to lose in order to win."

It also demonstrates better than that stupid minigame how difficult it was for Yuna to have destroyed the aeons she had forged a bond with. What I'm saying is, fuck Beclem and everyone else who dares disrespect Yuna, summoners, and everything they went through. Even though that time and age in Spira might be over, that's NO reason to immediately scoff in the face of everything all those people went through - everything YUNA sacrificed and endured for the sake of these ungrateful whelps.

Both Tidus and Yuna were excellent protagonists of X, despite both of them having a lot of growing to do. In conclusion, let me make use of this fun poll feature if you made it this far down:

Yes! A big portion of Laurent's character is that he uses the fact that his looks make him seem incompetent on purpose! He's trained in secret to become strong enough to kill Damianos, and I think it's "But Green for a Season" that reveals how Jord discovered Laurent had gotten very good with his discreet lessons.

Even though he loses against Damen during their fight in the third book, he still proves himself to be a challenge; what he lacks in raw power against an enemy, he makes up for with his tactics and dirty fighting. He'll use the environment to his advantage, upset and anger his opponent, and he's not above a knee to the groin if it'll give him an edge. When Laurent is fighting Kastor at the end, Damen even considers that if Laurent hadn't been both injured from Govart and his mind clouded with rage - if he were actually focusing with his greatest strength, his mind - he might have even beat Damen in that very fight! Laurent had been on the defensive and a victim for so long that it's often easy to forget that the guy has been training and pushing himself to make up for anything he lacks in order to escape his underdog position.

The only weakness Laurent has is that for most of the books, he thinks he has to do everything alone. The idea that Damen would ever want to help him, wouldn't betray him the instant Laurent didn't have something to reign him in, and that anyone would actively believe in him - it's almost too much for Laurent to fully wrap his head around. He can't compete with his uncle, that's what's been drilled into his head from the most vulnerable point of his life. He's younger, and he can't do anything about it. He's smart, but the Regent will ALWAYS have more experience, will always have the advantage, and Laurent has had every person who might support him and believe in him either abandon him or be killed with every tiny misstep.

The second book, Laurent would have never managed to beat his uncle in this ONE maneuver had Damen not been there to A: stop him from trying to go off on his own and "play along" with his uncle to the point that he basically admits defeat, and B: has a partner who is offensively able to teach him everything his uncle refused to teach him when it comes to being a leader. The only reason Laurent even brought him along was because, begrudgingly, Damen could be temporarily useful. He knows Damen is Damianos from the very beginning, and so he uses their nights going over strategy to learn both the limits of his own people and how Akielons think. Laurent needs to learn how to be a king, something the Regent wouldn't have been keen to actually teach him while trying to outst him from the Veretian throne.

At the end of that book and the beginning of the third, Laurent plays like he's fully prepared to work independently of Damen - or if he is going to work with him, he'll not be reliant upon Damen in any way. He knows Damen a little better now, but that can't instantly erase the confrontation six years in the making when Laurent wants to lash out and beat the shit out of Damen to prove that he didn't spend all this time trying his hardest and it still wasn't enough. It wasn't - Laurent had to painfully confess that he knew he could never beat Damen, and if Damen hadn't been such a good person, he would have lost.

The fact is, Laurent's greatest weakness is being in the mindset that he has to be strong enough and smart enough to do everything alone. Laurent became extremely self-sufficient, deadly in both body and mind, but being with Damen and even falling in love with him was doubly painful because not only is Damen a reminder that he isn't strong enough all on his own, but now his greatest asset is someone who he's spent all this time trying to overcome. It's a really awful struggle for him to accept that maybe someone can actually understand him and support him and be strong enough not to be hurt in the process.

A person? Being on his side?? Willingly??? Someone he doesn't have to protect 24/7???? But someone he WANTS to protect????? AND IT'S FUCKING DAMIANOS WHO HE HATES?????? BECAUSE HE'S A GOOD PERSON???????

In the third book, Laurent actively gives himself up to the Regent, and by Damen’s account, he fully believes no one was going to come for him. He didn't have a plan, he knew he could save Damen maybe but not himself. It's a bit of a weird final move for Laurent to have been saved by a plan that wasn't his own and barely Damen's, but it does showcase his weakness of giving up when he doesn't have a definitive plan in his uncle's domain - by contrast to Damen who never gives up hope even when things around him seem hopeless and he doesn't know what to do, YET.

And to the next point, Damen. We see everything (except one tiny chapter) from Damen's POV, and so by necessity, Damen has to be behind in most of Laurent's plans so that he can figure things out at the same time the readers do. In the first and especially the second book, Damen really is Laurent's slave. Laurent is in charge, Laurent calls the shots, Laurent's the one fighting this civil war with everything to both gain and lose. Laurent is the one to go somewhere, with Damen demanding to follow and help, and proving himself useful in the process. Damen really is just reacting to things happening around him, with the point of that book being him growing Laurent's trust to actually be allowed to do shit.

Damen's only "dumb" quality is that he simply recognizes things as facts, rather than hypothesize about what could be done in the future. He really is a reactive character, but it's entirely realistic if you think about how Akielons are compared to Veretians. Akielons think very straightforward; they take in what they know, work out something from it, and then conclude with a plan to execute - take in the new information gleaned, then rinse and repeat. Veretians think five steps ahead, ensure every action has at least two different purposes/meanings, make sure that even when they lose one thing, they can still gain another. Damen has the problem-solving and experience to react in the moment to Laurent's actions, but only when he sees the plan executing before his eyes.

Ever heard that symbolic thing about their culture designs? Akielons are very stripped down and simple with their clothing, Veretians have complex ties and strings that Damen complains are overly and unnecessarily extravagant? It's like that.

However Damen spends SO much time keeping up with Laurent's patterns that he actually starts to think like him. Damen is good at taking what he knows and making use of it. To be the King of Akielos, he had to know how war worked, how people worked, what customs and traditions and practices were common, what could be weapons and what could be problems. He simply adds Laurent's new perspective on life and the ways of the Veretians to his list of examples to pull from.

To be fair, Damen BEGINS the story slightly naive and spoiled. The whole reason Kastor shipped him off to Vere as a slave was because he refused to believe Kastor was anything more than the brother he had known. Before that instance, Damen didn't believe people could be more than they appeared on the surface. That's just how Akielon culture is. Heck, Damen even admits that he blindly followed his own father's perspective on life - he was the shining king, who could never do wrong, who fought and won battles with glory and grace, and always with honor. He beat back the slimy, conniving, distrustful snakes of Vere who could never be trusted to keep their word or worry about anyone other than themselves.

It's really good worldbuilding, because it's true that's how Veretians can be - not all of them, certainly, but it's also just a human thing, not exclusive to any culture. Some people are good, some are bad, and it's just normal for some people to have built a society where outsmarting others and building a reputation is the way you survive.

But after all his time actually getting to know Laurent and his people and their culture? Damen admits that though he would never speak ill of his father, he can't agree with the kind of king he was; Theomedes was a king who conquered, rather than tried to understand. Damen's father would have never tried to think like the enemy did, to differentiate one Veretian from another. Damen was only forced to see the differences when he saw Laurent and the Regent - Laurent was ultimately a good, kind person, but he was crushed under the weight and expectations and attacks from all sides, forced to become someone else entirely to play their game.

And it's ultimately Damen who has to convince Laurent that playing the game under his uncle's terms is always going to be how he loses. Laurent is thinking five moves ahead to try and keep up with his uncle who is six moves ahead. Instead, Laurent needs to forge his own path, not to be a piece on his uncle's board, but the king of his own. Where Damen is forced to learn Veretian cunning just to keep up (and he does so successfully, if not as good as Laurent who's been doing it much longer), Laurent is forced to learn Akielon straightforwardness and the simple fact that if he wants to win, he has to go into it believing he will - however delusional it seems to barge in, acting first, thinking later.

Veretians can be good people, use their cunning minds to do good things, to fight their enemies and maintain good and evil even within their own kingdom. Akielons can be loyal and headstrong, and if pointed in the right direction, they'll be paragons who'll fight for what they believe in even against all odds. Regardless of the kingdom, there are good and bad people inside it. Both princes need to learn it if they want to be kings, and though it takes a lot of pushing, they ARE willing to learn for their own survival.

Damen is a seriously strong warrior, that can't be argued, but he has EVERYTHING that makes him a born-leader. He recognizes strategies, opens his mind to new ideas, and in turn opens Laurent's mind as well. Laurent is cynical but extremely intelligent; he isn't lacking in any kingly quality beyond his own self-confidence, the belief that he can win after years of thinking all he could do was lose. The two of them really do work with one another, brains and brawn, as well as the potential to help the other recognize the benefits of their different ways of life.

TL;DR it's like this:

"My size," Laurent said, "is the usual. I am not made in miniature. It's a problem of scale, standing next to you."

What I feel the CaPri fandom sometimes fails to understand is that Damen only looks stupid compared to Laurent and Laurent only looks weak compared to Damen.

Damen is one of the few people who pick up on Laurent's schemes - sure, he picks up on things more slowly than Laurent, who has an insider's view of the situation and is actually the person in control of his schemes (in addition to his godlike intelligence), but Damen sees through what Laurent is doing more quickly than anyone else, even people who have known Laurent for years, and manages to keep up with his logic most of the time when no one else does. In book 1 he always manages to read a situation pretty accurately based on the knowledge he has - he can see what Laurent's options are and where the political lines are drawn, he just doesn't know how to mess with them as creatively as Laurent does.

Similarly, Laurent is one of the most competent fighters in the setting and only looks weak compared to Damen, the God of Warfare, who is like 2 meters tall and 2 meters wide. He's not some helpless uwu smol bean, he can hold his own, gives Damen a damn good fight even though he's been recently injured and fucks up several other people described as very strong fighters during the course of the series.

Look, I love the Castlevania series and the Netflix adaptation made 3 great seasons ("Um there are 4 seasons" LIKE I SAID, 3 GREAT SEASONS), but we have got to talk about how disappointing it is that the main trio never met or even knew the existence of Hector and Isaac - or honestly, that entire half of the plot. I will forever find it weird that the show set up two related but never intersecting plot threads (and arguably a third, go figure during the worst season).

It's sweet and empowering that both of them found their own ways to live before and after Dracula's death, with Isaac being a total badass and even progressing to a better person despite seeing how unfair, cruel, and rude the world is - to the point that he defeats Carmilla not JUST because she was partly responsible for Dracula's death but because he actually wanted to make the world a better place. But even though Isaac could arguably be founding an entire empire and generation of peace, he and Hector don't even seem to know about Alucard's existence or contributions, let alone Trevor and Sypha.

We can debate Hector and Lenore's fucked up relationship all day, but in the end the two of them DID end up bonding through all the lies and deceit. They were able to actually talk to one another and have the other listen; in the end, both of them were just born in different worlds on different sides. Lenore genuinely seemed to want to settle things peacefully, but she got left behind in a world that valued only overwhelming strength; she decides she can't live as a prisoner even though Hector was no doubt stronger than her for enduring his own imprisonment and subjugation, but I think Lenore was already on her way to losing herself. Despite what she did to Hector, she wanted to at least believe she understood him; even though she was a sympathetic vampire, she still believed knowing enough to control someone was the only way they could be friends - so when it turns out Hector was plotting the downfall of Carmilla and her buddies, unfortunate Lenore had to be betrayed as well. Even if Hector wanted her to live, she was a living contradiction. A vampire who is physically very strong and intimidating, but a woman who other male vampires have looked down upon, and even male humans. A creature who feeds on humans, but one who wants to settle things peacefully. She absolutely had a role in Carmilla's gang of women just surviving, but in Carmilla's mad conquest, she was useless at best and a hindrance at worst.

In the end, Lenore was one of the few vampires that might have been sympathetic to the human side of the argument, but she physically couldn't live like that. I believed Lenore genuinely wasn't capable of turning her whole worldview upside down and aiding humanity in any way - being beneath them. Dracula opened himself up to one human and it destroyed him; he saved Hector and Isaac, but he also sacrificed himself and forced Isaac away, that was the extent of his personal affairs with them. I think it's fundamentally difficult for vampires to adopt human ideologies and empathy, making Alucard the only vampire ally we really have in the series - because he's only half. Unlike Alucard, she is a full vampire. She has a divide that she can't just bridge like he can.

Imagine if Alucard got to meet the only other humans beside his mother who genuinely looked up to and cared about his father. What would Isaac and Hector have to say to the son of the man they had admired and then lost as well? Imagine Alucard meeting another human who may have even fallen in love with a vampire, but who understands how far their worlds pulled each other apart. Or maybe Sypha can relate to having her eyes opened to a world outside her Speaker family. Imagine a discussion with Lenore about what it means to be caught between wanting to make peace with humans and knowing how much harm they cause - her actually getting a sympathetic vampire perspective from someone like Alucard who wouldn't look down on her.

Imagine the tension that could come from Trevor meeting a Forgemaster, Isaac trying to explain his control over Night Creatures and his ability to even make them fight for a sympathetic cause. Both Isaac and Trevor have experience being the outcasts, understanding how awful humans can be, but they both found their way to still fighting for the right thing. Trevor understands why killing Dracula's wife would make him want to purge the world in retribution, but he still knows humans are worth fighting for. Isaac fully abandoned his faith in humanity and believed in Dracula completely, and even THEN he managed to find the good amongst the rabble. Is it right to make Night Creatures from the dead, even if they were bad people? Even if it's to champion a good cause? Even if Hector and Isaac have full control over them without a potential for any sort of rebellion?

What I'm saying is, I love the idea of a new Castlevania series, but nothing will beat the OG season 1 and 2, and season 3 should have been answering questions and tying up loose ends - not going off on at least 3, 4 tangents that were just meant to come out of nowhere and make things shitty again after our happy ending and I guess they're kinda related but not really, so now we can fix the new shitty stuff and have ANOTHER happy ending and avoid showing anything resembling resolutions, just teaser after teaser for the fanfics to finish up.

Anyway so I'm going to the fanfics and if I don't come back, tell the Final Fantasy rants I love them-

It's That Time Friends LET'S TALK ABOUT SEPHIROTH!!!

Specifically, we're talking about OG Crisis Core Sephiroth because my hopes are high for this remake and though they made sure most of the OG lines are the same, why are the voice actors unable to raise their voices and shout into their mics like what?

Anyway, let's start with his friends because Genesis and Angeal deserve more attention for shaping Sephiroth into who he is.

We all know the fight scene, we all know how epic it was, but let's break it down because yes I've watched it practically frame by frame what do YOU do with your free time?

Did you notice Genesis does the sword prayer at the beginning of the fight, same as Angeal does with his Buster Sword? It could just be Genesis showing off his weapon for the audience, but he closes his eyes and specifically lowers his head a fraction. We have little of pre-Crisis Genesis to go off of and how friendly he truly was - I mean, his best friend's Prove-Your-Honor-to-Me Angeal and Sephiroth actually does seem to admire him for his genuine efforts to get stronger. Most people who face Sephiroth likely just give up knowing they'll never match him, but Genesis is insistent on becoming stronger even when he's beaten. He even makes headway against Sephiroth in this fight, something that no one else has probably EVER done, but we'll get to that later.

The music track my goodness it's so great! *Dramatic violins*

But to the actual fight, it makes you think about why Sephiroth's sword is so freakishly long and how anyone in Shinra possibly invented a metal strong enough to hold up to Sephiroth's strength. Angeal's Buster Sword is extremely thick, Genesis enhances his weapon through magic, but Sephiroth's just got an extremely long sword that can somehow hold its own no matter which way he's using it, which falls in line perfectly with his fighting style. With a blade that long, Sephi can basically block a hit from every angle just by twisting with little effort, which becomes relevant when he's fighting as a left-handed fighter against a predominantly right-handed society. In order to properly turn his blade at the right angle to parry, he would need to turn his blade at a sharper angle. Or he could just swing however he pleases and force his opponent to be the one turning their blade at an awkward angle.

Because he's basically the equivalent of hitting a brick wall, every time he parries an attack from Angeal or Genesis, he is never flinching or bouncing back from the blows no matter how terrible the angle should be. This is literally a scene showing how impossibly strong Sephiroth is, not just from a big-muscles standpoint, but from an illogical "how-are-you-not-moving?" standpoint, and it should be showing you how frustrating it is for Genesis to try and keep up.

We all know physics hopefully, and how length increases force the further down you go. That means that hitting further down the length of Sephiroth's blade should be increasing the force needed to block the hit, but because Sephiroth is so strong AND his weapon is good at holding up to that strength, even if you're hitting the tip of his blade and he's blocking at a very poor angle, he is STILL successful at being completely unmovable.

These two slam their blades into Sephiroth's, and then they press forward together and lean in, AND look at the downwards angel Sephi is holding his Masamune. It's cut off in the picture above, but Sephi's thumb is facing downwards towards the blade, meaning he's not using his palm to push as effectively as if his thumb were facing upwards. You can tell because right after this, he swings up to slice the pair's blades back in their respective directions.

And during this first clash, he NEVER uses his right hand as a leverage point to reinforce the other end of his sword. The only time he uses his right hand is when he and Angeal are bashing it out at the last clash, and it looks like he was doing that mostly for aesthetic purposes.

Motion blur is a bitch.

Anyway, when Genesis powers up his sword and smashes his blade down to put Sephiroth into a crater, you can tell that both of them are having so much fun. Like even Sephiroth smiles because now Gen is putting up a decent fight. But then Genesis's hits actually start driving Sephiroth back. He's hitting fast enough and hard enough that Sephiroth's parries are becoming detrimental to him. His blade is useful for long-distance hits, keeping his opponents outside of a bubble where he can parry from literally every angle, but Genesis is getting too close and he isn't letting up, meaning that every time Sephiroth parries, it's at an angle that prevents him from resetting for the next swing. It's become more of getting his sword in the way than it is actually meaning Gen blow-for-blow, and he has to actually jump back in order to put real distance between them.

Then, Sephiroth makes a small "tsk" noise. He's genuinely upset that Genesis is actually making headway. This is probably the first time he's been on the defensive for a single opponent in a sword fight, and while he's slightly upset, he's also excited. This is why the fight gets out of hand. Genesis is determined to come out the winner, even if it's just in the training room, but Sephiroth is eager to have a real fight that he can put his full strength into - or at least more strength than normal.

When he blocks, this time, he uses his right hand for leverage. It's gotten serious. He uses both of his hands to shove Genesis back, and it is epic. Also do y'all think that's why he wears those bracelets? Are they for this exact purpose, to act as a bracer for when you gotta use your other hand to hold your sword?

Anyway, you can tell that Sephi is turning the tide because he's completely reversed the situation. Genesis is barely managing to keep up with the speed of his strikes, and because this is Sephiroth, getting your blade in the way of his is actually less effective than just dodging. When Sephi is doing the striking rather than the parrying, it means you're at risk of your own sword bouncing back in your face from the force of his hit.

Genesis jumping up is a reasonable response, putting distance between them, but in the air he also has no footholds, making blocking strikes even harder for him. Ignoring the lack of gravity because fall-damage doesn't exist in Final Fantasy (except for 15 but 15 isn't real I'm sure of it), Genesis using magic to try and turn the tide is precisely what his strengths are. He manages to match Sephiroth when he infuses his blade with magic, and let's be honest I don't think anyone else is capable of using Fire Materia like he has. He's basically using a SHG technique from FF Type-0, firing little blasts from every finger, and THEN controlling them remotely to converge on Sephiroth to create a creaking mini-sun worthy of Ifrit. I don't think his final blast would have stopped Sephiroth if Angeal hadn't stopped him, but I think Sephi was enjoying being overwhelmed even for a second.

No one can beat Sephiroth in terms of his raw strength, and his long blade is suited for his casual style of blocking and poking (it's embarrassing how easy it is for him to take Cloud down in Advent Children when he stops smacking his Fusion sword and just bypasses it by using a thrusting motion), but then Sephiroth starts using magic just like Genesis and all bets are off the table. The energy blasts that come from his sword just casually slice through the Mako Canon, and the way he just casually falls out of sight only to tear his way straight towards Genesis as his theme starts is Sephiroth having so much fun.

You know he did that to be dramatic. You know he did that because Genesis is a dramatic theater nerd and he's respecting Genesis by matching him in using magic to enhance his blade. He knows the fight's basically won now because he's actually trying. He's being nice. And he's having a blast.

The fact that Sephiroth is no longer being careful of his surroundings is also telling of how much effort he's putting in. Sure, he's slicing up the Mako Canon probably just to show off, but he's also just swinging his sword like you naturally would in a fight. He's just ignoring its length and letting it cut through whatever gets in its way even when he misses; it's a casual warning to Genesis that he's going to slice through him without pausing if Genesis gets in the way of Masamune. The situation is completely reversed from earlier as Genesis grunts in frustration before powering up to match Sephiroth's hit.

I love how when Angeal gets between the pair, he uses his Buster Sword to block Sephiroth from behind knowing that he'll need the foothold if he's going to stop Sephi mid-attack, but he's actually pushed towards Genesis because Sephi is pushing down so hard even after he's been stopped.

Genesis breaking Angeal's small sword is actually really interestingly set up and executed. This is the wound that begins Genesis's degradation, setting off the plot of Crisis Core's story. Genesis is really good, don't get me wrong, but it's unlikely that he didn't get his fair share of cuts and scrapes while he was learning to fight; I don't think Genesis would have begun degrading if he'd taken a hit like that normally.

I think this scene is setting up that Genesis's wound was really an anomaly of anomalies and the worst of bad luck. He infused his sword to maximum strength while he was determined to hold his own against Sephiroth when he was actually trying, he was so determined to keep the fight going and get Angeal out of the way that he used two types of magic at once - the red fire as well as what I think is ice magic to potentially immobilize Angeal (or he could have been using the same blue magic that Sephi was using when he first created those giant energy waves to make that first cut against the Canon). Because his blast hit Angeal's sword, which was blocking his own enhanced one, the two magics mixed in an explosion so strong that not only did it break the sword, but it created a Mako magic nightmare that was then injected straight into Genesis's shoulder.

I mean after everything that Sephiroth and Genesis did while they were going at it, it was Genesis's blast that actually broke the simulator. Sephi isn't even celebrating his victory. Though he doesn't say anything, he's concerned about Genesis and guilty that he'd let the fight get out of hand. When Angeal got between the pair, Sephiroth actually seemed to come to his senses - the original has Sephi seemingly like he was warning Angeal to stay out of the fight, but the remake seems to imply that Sephiroth was realizing how serious it was when Angeal intervened to stop them. I got this from the way Sephi says the line "Angeal..." That's how subtle the difference in voice acting a line can be!

His narration after confirms that he was concerned that Genesis wasn't healing and quietly blaming himself for letting this happen.

He finds Angeal's lectures amusing, he's memorized LOVELESS from being around Genesis for so long. He cares deeply about his friends, he's heartbroken when he has to accept that they're turning against Shinra, that they're working with Hollander. Zack has a full-on breakdown when Angeal dies because he was the one that had to watch his downward spiral, his transformation into a monster, and kill him, but imagine what Sephiroth is going through. He's not an emotional person, but he's enraged when he learns that Angeal left in Wutai, he does his best to appease Genesis when they meet in the Mako Reactor and tries his best not to fight them. He goes so far as to go rogue and tell Zack that they're going to fail to eliminate the wanted fugitives - probably the first time Sephiroth has ever actively rebelled after being raised in Shinra under Hojo.

Crisis Core is the story about Zack but it's also a story about Sephiroth. He was a person born and raised in Shinra to be nothing but a soldier, and the first time he actually gets friends (from a small humble town rather than a big city) and gets a new perspective on life, finding out they were experiments and monsters absolutely breaks them. He watches his friends fall apart, drift away from the kind and fun people that had been his first and only friends and taught him what friendship was truly LIKE.

Zack is probably the only reason Sephi doesn't break from Shinra then and there; he has the power to leave, even if he doesn't know what he'd do with his life, but Zack becomes a cheerful 1st, as passionate in his beliefs as Genesis and as kind as Angeal after being mentored by him. Another friend who doesn't let Sephiroth's cold attitude hamper his ability to see the good in life, one who believed in Angeal enough to even try believing in Genesis for a moment too. Sephiroth still has hope.

That's why it takes Nibelheim to absolutely break him. Not only is he close to Jenova, but he has the knowledge that his friends were failed science experiments, the informtaion causing them to absolutely fall apart - he's seen it happen and has been forced to accept that his friends are gone. Learning about his own past as an experiment sends him down the exact same rabbit hole that his friends fell into, but he's a "perfect" monster, and even Genesis showing up at the reactor confirms it. He says to Genesis "you will rot" when he comes asking for help, which seems like a great moment where Sephi refuses to let Genesis's harsh words get to him. In actuality, it just proves that he's aggressively distanced himself from the pain of losing those he trusted, reminding him and reinforcing the idea that Sephi can't trust his fellow 1st class friends. How easy would it have been to convince him that Zack was going to turn on him too?

This is serious manipulation from Jenova, taking advantage of Sephiroth's upbringing being isolated in Shinra with Hojo, taking advantage of his trauma from finally finding friends who went mad and turned on him, and then taking advantage of the fact that their history was revealed to them to drive them mad to do the same to him. Quite honestly, why WOULDN'T Sephiroth hate a world that did this to him? He's been a loyal soldier all his life, he's angry at Shinra who made him, tired of the whole world being too weak to pose a challenge against him, and he learns he's a monster who can help Jenova if she helps him

Honestly, I'm on board with that fan theory that Remake is Sephiroth trying to break free of Jenova's control over him as well and break the chains of fate or whatever. Not so he can be a free good guy or anything (that theory is reserved for the fanfiction), but so that he can take all her world-ending power for himself. You go, dude. Be the greatest villain ever and force the world to get its shit together in order to stop you.

Anyway, Reunion just finished downloading so I'ma go play now. Byeeeee

Let's talk about Caius and Yeul, shall we?

First, who in the world thinks it's a bad thing for Caius to be obsessed with protecting Yeul? Seriously. Is it the purple hair? Is it the fact that you fight Caius over a dozen times (counting Paradox Endings and DLCs)? What in the world is wrong with Caius loving Yeul to the point that he wants to destroy time itself?

Not to get too existential (but to get slightly existential), Caius is basically being told that his daughter is destined to die before she can reach 20 years old. He starts out as a Guardian, impressing the Goddess so much that she gifts him her immortal heart so that he can protect Yeul for eternity. His job has now become to eternally protect and care for Yeul, but he's also being told that Yeul will never be allowed to have a long and fulfilling free life. His job is to protect her, but the one thing he can't protect her from is her fate. If she sees a vision where she has to die, Caius is not allowed to stop it. He raised and protected this girl just so that she can die to keep the timeline stable or whatever. His job is to make sure that she dies the "correct" way for the sake of time. Can you blame him for being driven mad after being forced to escort Yeul to her destined death generation after generation?

Caius loves Yeul. He is not in love with Yeul (you creeps of the internet), but he loves her. He loves every version of Yeul that comes along like his daughter, no matter how different she is, no matter how she is destined to die. He remembers every one of them, he loves every one of them even with how many he meets and raises and loses each generation.

"Although they had the same soul, every one of them was unique! A Yeul who dreamed of travel! A Yeul who loved to sing! A Yeul who collected flowers. They all died. All of them, before my eyes!"

Serah collapses after he says this, even though she's just standing to the side. Why? Because she's horrified. In 400AF, a single Yeul had to die because of Serah and Noel's presence - for the first time, Serah realized that changing time is hurting someone. Serah is responsible for that Yeul dying. Every change in timeline, even if it's to fix it, is forcing an innocent girl to walk into the arms of the nearest monster so she can die and keep things from getting worse.

Serah was horrified that Yeul just walked to her death willingly, like Yeul sacrificed herself just to allow Serah and Noel to continue their journey, but Caius has seen Yeul accept her fate hundreds of times. He paid attention. He remembers every Yeul, their dreams, their preferences, their favorite activities and favorite experiences, and he's had to watch them die just like Serah watched 400AF Yeul die without being able to do anything.

Caius got so tired of being immortal, but the main reason was that his entire existence was to watch a girl grow up and then die - often in his arms because he has to protect her up until that point. It finally ended at 700AF, Yeul's cycle of reincarnation was likely at its end since there were no more humans, and the next Guardian was born who might finally be able to end Caius as well. He hoped the cycle would finally end, but Noel was too weak to kill him. Yeul believed in the future, and that was awful to Caius because it meant that this wasn't the end. Yeul would keep living and dying for others, never living for herself, and Caius would be forced to keep watching it and letting it happen forever.

"Her only purpose is to die over and over! Even though she can see the future, she's not allowed to escape her fate! She is born knowing that she will die before she has truly lived! Countless deaths, without a life to give them meaning."

Let's talk about Noel too, because his relationship amounts to only truly knowing one Yeul but overall valuing her just as much as Caius.

Now, remember that Noel is having memory problems for the entire game. His memories are in flux, sometimes leaving him, perhaps even changing without him knowing it. That's why, when he's killed in the Void Beyond and sent into an endless dream, his dreamworld sends him home. The end of the world is depressing, it's dark and sad and he's only holding into hope for Yeul's sake - to see her smile, to find more people so she won't have to be alone. Noel's dream is to see his Yeul again. Even if he has to go through losing his life again, this is the world that he knows and the world that he was slowly losing as a result of his memories vanishing.

Right after you wake him from his dream world and enter the lighted (real) 700AF (since you can eventually reach it from the Historia Crux, I believe the lightened version is the actual 700AF time period; they escape the Void Beyond by translating Noel's dream into a real time location at the end of the world by slaying the Gogmagog), Noel says that he "can't remember what happened to her", despite just remembering Yeul's fate dying young to her vision - this is the place we learn that visions eat away at a seeress' life and Serah is one too.

This is probably lost in the English translation, but I interpret this as Noel knows in concept that Yeul died because of her visions, but he can't remember details of the event itself. Right after Yeul dies in the dream, Noel pauses to give the narration of how he learned why Yeul died in his arms. How did he learn that Yeul's death was a result of her visions? As far as Noel was concerned, in the cutscene we viewed, Noel walked up to Yeul putting a prophecy in an Oracle Drive, she collapsed in his arms and told him they'd meet again, and then she died. Caius was already gone; no one could have told Noel that Yeul didn't just randomly keel over. Maybe he could have guessed that her vision was related to her death, but he could have very well just assumed she had a particularly terrible vision that killed her, not that each one takes a part of her life.

When confronting Caius in the final battle(s), Caius assumes that Serah doesn't know about visions killing her - he is proven wrong. When Caius declares that Yeul is bound by a curse, Noel asks "What curse?" I interpret this as Noel not thinking that Yeul's visions and rebirth are a curse. It's tragic and scary, certainly, but Serah's situation is what Noel is more worried about. Unlike Yeul, Serah won't be reborn; she gets one life's worth of visions and that's it. Yeul has to die over and over, but Noel only focuses on the fact that she gets to live over and over. Her lives are short, but even when she was at the end of the world with only two people left to accompany her, she kept smiling. Noel concludes that she must have made the most of every life, because even though her lives were short, she lived so many that she had more time than anyone could have lived in a single long lifespan. Noel does not see Yeul's endless death and rebirth as a curse.

When Serah is brought to her knees at Caius's words about Yeul's deaths, she is able to rise again because Noel declares that Yeul's deaths weren't a curse. "She knew we'd meet again. Think, Caius. Think. Was it really a curse? Was it forced on her by Etro? Do you really think that Yeul wanted to die, and not come back? Of course not. Yeul wanted to come back. Every time she died in your arms, she wanted to come back. She knew her next life would be short. She knew! Because she wanted to see you! Again and again, without end!"

The Eyes of Etro are a curse that take away a seeress' life with every vision, there's no denying that. When the timeline changes or is put at risk, someone has to bear the weight of the consequences. If Yeul hadn't been reborn, it's likely that a random candidate would have been chosen each time a seeress died, similar to how Serah gained her Eyes when her personal timeline was altered and her subsequent journey was the catalyst to the entire timeline being put in flux.

But Yeul choosing to live again and again must have been her own choice. She wanted to keep others from suffering, but she could also live what amounted to a long life, living in every era, seeing Caius again, having new experiences and new interests and new adventures as the world changed with each life she lived. She didn't need immortality; she wanted reality, no matter how cold and harsh it could be. The sad moments were worth the happy visions and happy futures.

Caius was the one consistent thing about each of Yeul's lives, the one thing that didn't change. She lived life after life in every time zone, probably missing large chunks of time and being disconnected from her reality because a seeress needs to be careful who she interacts with (see the fall of Paddra for an example of how her presence is dangerous). Of course she grew attached to Caius as an anchor, the one consistent thing about all the times she's lived.

Notice how there are scenes depicting both Noel and Caius alike crying over a Yeul who is smiling when she dies. Noel was the first Guardian who gave Caius hope that Noel could kill him; Noel was the first person that a Yeul valued besides Caius because she had a vision that she was going to see him again. Yeul likely lost everyone else in each of her lives; by the time she's reborn, all the people she might have become friends with are gone and she's isolated from everyone except for the Paddraen tribe and the Guardians. Caius and his immortality is the only one that she always knew she'd see again - until Noel happened. Yeul died in Noel's arms just like she had so many times in Caius's arms, but Noel chose to value the idea that he'd see her again, not dread it.

As revealed in Lightning Returns, the Unseen Chaos (a different type of Chaos from the regular one that makes up all souls; a more volatile version that destroys) is made up of Yeul's souls specifically. The Unseen Chaos protects, empowers, and even revives Caius because it is Yeul looking after her Guardian just as Caius was looking after her. Yeul is the Chaos that floods Caius after Noel's speech where he has to strike back as Caius doesn't believe his words, the Chaos that transforms Caius into the Jet Bahamut for the final boss of XIII-2. She was desperate to keep the one consistent thing about all of her lives with her. No matter what Caius did, how "I don't want to please her, I want to save her", and how he destroyed the world even when she just wanted to see visions of people living happily, she can't let him go.

Ever had to make a decision and kept going around in circles about the pros and cons, what you gain but what you have to sacrifice for one decision then the next? Imagine every thought you had existing as a separate entity - still fundamentally you, because you came to that conclusion at one point or another, but conflicting and arguing over which opinion mattered most. That's what Yeul is, hundreds of people all with different thoughts and opinions but who fundamentally start out as the same base person.

She hates Caius for some things, but that doesn't mean she doesn't also care about him and need him. For all he does, Caius cares about Yeul, telling Lightning that Yeul cannot go to the New World without destroying it with her Unseen Chaos, so he's fine accompanying her to make sure she isn't doomed to be alone forever.

Caius is very evil at times, driven to his goal with absolute focus. But his greatest flaw is being completely dedicated to Yeul. In Oerba 200AF, that Caius is not hell-bent on destroying the timeline yet. That Caius is the first one, living through all of the lives of Yeul, before 700AF happens and he declares he's going to slay the goddess. That Caius is dedicated to eliminating time-travelers because "To change history is a sin." He bows to Yeul and accepts her judgment when she declares that they can remold history as they desire. The only reason they go to Augusta Tower is likely because it is the sight of a massive Paradox; that 200 AF Caius is dedicated to stopping all Paradoxes to hopefully extend Yeul's time.

However, Yeul gives Serah and Noel the artifact that allows them to resolve the Paradox, killing Yeul with the vision in the process. Notice that Caius doesn't see Yeul happy at her vision where everyone's smiling. He just sees her dead. This is how Caius came to want the timeline destroyed; he tries to keep history in line to keep Yeul from having visions, but she's completely fine with dying if it means a happier future. Nothing he does can save her. Nothing except destroying time and fate itself.

In the end, he died in Valhalla to be with Yeul forever, he stopped her cycle of reincarnation, but it didn't save Yeul because her Chaos was too strong. She destroyed the world, not even on purpose because she can't control it. It's just her existences themselves that cause destruction. Time was destroyed, Yeul no longer was born into new lives and no longer had to suffer visions, but in return, the two of them live in an eternal half-dead, half-living state within Etro’s Temple. Yeul has Caius with her forever, Yeul no longer has to die, and yet it’s all still wrong.

So really, the main enemy of XIII-2 was Etro, who loved humanity so much that she broke the timeline, gave a man an immortal heart to the point that it drove him insane, allowed a girl to be reborn so many times that her souls became a living weapon, and who gave Serah the Eyes of Etro even though Noel can travel the timeline without needing them.

Final theory of the post: what if 700AF Caius deciding to use his power to change the timeline is what began Yeul's many deaths and rebirths in the first place? If he hadn't begun messing with the timeline to try and destroy it, what if Yeul rarely would have had visions without all those disturbances? She wouldn't have had a short life, she wouldn't have wanted to be reborn. Random people would have still been blessed/cursed with visions every now and then, but not to the point of always dying young. What if Caius created his own suffering with his vendetta? Caius is the eternal paradox, the one that started it all and who maintained the distortions so long as he lived.

❗❗Trigger warning for suicide❗❗

Okay, let's talk about it.

Vanille's VA tried her best.

Moving on.

From the very beginning of the game, Vanille's character is foreshadowed very well. When she's held among the other refugees of the Purge, she's smiling and willing to joke around with a gun...even though she has no idea how to use a gun and likely her only experience with them is death. That's how good Vanille is at hiding from despair.

When Hope's mother is killed, she hugs him and tells him to face it later. Notice how she says "Ciao!" here and when she will say it again. She tells Hope to face the death of his mother and the Purge "later", so happily as if she's used to being part of a mass murder scene. She's running away from fhe fear and existential pain; her motto when things get hard has become "face it later."

*Bonus how she gives Hope a gun to defend himself, but that scene ends on a gentle musical score panning down to show how Hope doesn't take up the gun for fighting in that moment - he's not angry at Snow yet, he doesn't need his anger to survive yet.*

In the Vestiage, Vanille tells Hope that he needs to tell Snow how he feels or he'll regret it forever. This is an allusion to how Vanille has many things she needed to confess, lies that she never told the truth about that are tearing her apart - but more importantly, they're tearing others apart too. When she hears about Serah being held by the fal'Cie, remember that she knows and is friends with Serah already. Serah was the one who told her to look at her problems from a distance and that running away doesn't solve anything.

When Vanille asks "Why is she turning to crystal?" Hope answers the literally reason that "She fulfilled her Focus", but actually this was a really smart use of double-meanings. Vanille wasn't asking why Serah literally turned to crystal - she was asking why Serah is turning to crystal, what Focus did she complete? They've all just kinda been standing there, so what did Serah do?

In Lake Bresha, while Hope is having a meltdown, Sazh is loudly asking questions, Lightning is angrily reeling with her emotions at both losing her sister and being a l'Cie, and Snow is completely in denial, Vanille just interrupts by saying "Oh-oh! Then let's run away! Ciao!" Her first reaction when under duress is to run away. Her cheerful reaction is her completely absolute ability to hide her emotions when bad things occur.

*Another fun bonus: when Lightning is holding Snow at sword-point when he encourages them to complete their Focus and everyone's interrupted by PSICOM soldiers, Lightning very easily could've just pretended to still be an active Guardian Corps member from Bodhum since her resignation was so unofficial and she's still in uniform. Instead, she actively takes the chance to drop-kick that sucker because she is pissed off and it's hilarious*

When Lightning splits off from the group in the Vile Peaks and she and Hope get cut off from Vanille and Sazh, she just says, "Run? We should run. If we rush in now, we'll just get in [Lightning's] way." When they see the army converging on Palumpolum and likely on Lightning and Hope, Vanille comforts Sazh by saying, "Right, no choice. We run—the other way."

What really begins to test Vanille's resolve is when she learns that she was responsible for essentially cursing not only Serah but now Dajh too. Because of her running from her Focus by pretending she doesn't know what it is, Serah was branded by Anima into a Pulse l'Cie, and Dajh got branded in the Euride Gorge by Kujata into a Cocoon fal'Cie.

What really hurts about this reveal is that Sazh first told her that he just had a son. She's encouraging him to hold it together and defy his l'Cie fate, thinking that "the l'Cie thing" is Sazh himself being a l'Cie, not Dajh.

Vanille's running is hurting people, and when people are hurt, she runs even further. Then more people are hurt and she keeps running. Similar to Snow, Vanille doesn't know if she can ever even begin to apologize for how many lives she's ruined. Unlike Fang, she also remembers the War of Transgression, where her actions doomed many both Pulsian and Cocoon people (Cocoonians?) - she's holding the guilt of running away from a war, then when she wakes up, she runs from her Focus again because she can't stand more people getting hurt, but people get hurt anyway.

It's one thing for she herself to be a victim, but seeing Sazh mourning his son - younger than Serah, younger than Hope, just a little kid in the wrong place at the wrong time - and she knows it's all her fault is tearing her up inside because she can't run from Sazh. The last time she lied about information, Fang went on a murder spree to try and kill the fal'Cie which caused Dajh to be made a l'Cie in the first place. So naturally, it all blows up with Sazh too.

The worst part about it, in my opinion, is that Dajh was the one who found the Pulse l'Cie in Bodhum. A child was the reason that the entire town of Bodhum was Purged, but Dajh likely didn't know what he was doing, and the only reason he was branded was because Fang and Vanille attacked Kujata at Euride. Fang and Vanille waking didn't cause Bodhum to be Purged; Dajh being branded caused the Purge.

In Nautilus, Sazh is trying to cheer her up. Sazh is protecting her along their journey because he can't leave Vanille to fend for herself. He's confessed what happened to his son to her, he trusts her enough to tell her about how much Dajh loved the chocobos, how he went to the fal'Cie trying to kill it for Dajh's sake...and even that he'd considered killing his fellow l'Cie if it would save Dajh from his fate. That also means that Sazh is willing to kill himself - but his chocobo just lands on his pistol and shakes its head.

Sazh bought that chocobo chick for Dajh on the day Dajh got branded - purchasing that chick was what made him lose Dajh that day. But that chick also reminds Sazh of the reason that he's still going. Dajh wouldn't want him to kill himself or turn on his friends...so instead he's just running away with Vanille. He has no idea whether Dajh is a crystal or not, whether he'll ever be able to see Dajh again now that he's explicitly a Pulse l'Cie and his son's direct enemy.

Both Vanille and Sazh represent the party running from their fate, while Lightning, Snow, and Hope are charging head-first into delusions and danger in order to avoid confronting the truth. Keep in mind that Nautilus comes after Palumpolum, where the latter three have just confronted their feelings and have made the decision to stop running.

Now, in Nautilus, Sazh is the one telling Vanille to forget about the heavy stuff, to forget about the other l'Cie in Palumpolum, to let their brands just fade away. He takes Vanille to Nautilus Park where Dajh always wanted to go. And let's be honest, a whole park with chocobos and fuzzy sheep is heaven, okay?

Now Final Fantasy has dealt with terrible situations before, but 13 has always had an air of levity to it and a PG 13 vibe. But when Sazh finally admits that he's going to turn himself in, that's Sazh finally giving up on running from his fate and essentially volunteering to get killed if it means he'll have one last chance to see his son.

He says he's tired of running. All this time, Vanille has been living on the fact that running will help put the bad things behind them or at least give you time to face the situation later. Sazh has run away with her, but he's tired of running - running hasn't helped him, running never can.

Vanille is so desperate to give him a chance to keep living, she tries using revenge. Notice the parallels in this scene with Hope's situation. Hope is using anger and revenge as the only thing to keep himself going, and Vanille is reasoning that revenge will be enough motivation for Sazh to keep going. It all plays out a bit like a soap opera where Vanille gets cut off before she can confess that it was her, but it reinforces that Sazh may be willing to let himself get caught, but keeping Vanille alive is motivating him more than killing her might have.

The scene after the Midlight Reaper is honestly horrifying if it weren't such a cartoony game. Sazh's son should be locked up under PSICOM's security, and you almost think it has to be an illusion when Dajh runs up and finds his father like it's just a game of catch to him. Dajh has been made his father's enemy, and Dajh's ability to sense Pulse is probably what brought him there. This is the boy whose power caused the Purge, who was branded because of Vanille specifically (even if her inaction caused Fang to be reckless). And Dajh is here in Nautilus because Sazh wanted to take him to the amusement park to see the chocobos. The chocobo chick lands in Dajh's hair, Dajh is just happy to see his dad, Sazh is just amazed that he's able to see Dajh - which he thought would be impossible without turning himself in to PSICOM to die.

(Reminder that Nautilus is actually a city and the amusement park aspect is just built into it; people actually live full-time in Nautilus and there's a Nautilus security regiment just like Bodhum has a security regiment in the Guardian Corps)

Then, literally in an instant, while Sazh is close enough to embrace him, Dajh turns to crystal. The difference between Pulse and Cocoon crystals is amazing, but Dajh's crystal is made arguably worse than Serah's transformation because it happens so quickly that he doesn't get last words, and rather than being turned completely to crystal, Dajh is more encased within it - he's still smiling up at his father, oblivious to the whole situation, and he'll be frozen like that potentially forever, his last smile to his father on his face for essentially eternity.

The bell tolls above them (fun fact: there are 13 hours, as revealed in Lightning Returns), signaling the end of Dajh's time. I was honestly worried that the chocobo chick had got caught in Dajh's hair and turned to crystal too - like that would just be insult to injury.

Crystallization is essentially a family-friendly way of saying we just killed this kid. Even if it is later revealed that Dajh can and will one day wake up just like Serah, in this moment Sazh just lost his entire reason for continuing on as long as he had. His chocobo chick was a reminder of Dajh, that if he just kept surviving, there was still hope that maybe he'd see Dajh again - not knowing if Dajh was a crystal or not was one thing, but seeing Dajh fully turn to crystal essentially in his arms was enough to make Sazh completely fall apart.

Nabaat strolls in and makes a bad situation worse when she reveals footage (impossible angles and that picture is in no way grainy, but whatever) of the Euride incident showing Vanille as one of the Pulse l'Cie that attacked the energy plant. Though notably, in the footage, Vanille is advocating that they ignore their Focus, but PSICOM wouldn't care, so neither might Sazh.

Vanille's reaction is to run.

She full-on imagines Sazh angry enough to shoot her, reminding her of how many people she's used as shields. She acts kind and innocent and those who care about her like Fang and Sazh put themselves in the line of fire to save her, but Serah and Dajh and all the innocents in Bodhum, all the people of Cocoon who are Purged or will be Purged, all the people of the War of Transgression - Vanille's got an extremely high death count and running can't save her forever.

She's run for so long that her guilt has piled into an enormous weight that absolutely crushes her when she has no one left. Serah was kind to her, but Serah's a crystal now. Hope relied on her for a short period, but he's surviving with Lightning and Snow and honestly on his own now. Fang looked after her to the point that they got separated and Vanille's lies caused her to act recklessly. Now, Sazh, who had relied on her to keep smiling and keep faith that he'll see his son again, has also had his son turned into a l'Cie and then into a crystal because of her. She has no one left who need her and no one left to protect her.

Notably, that's just an illusion of Sazh. She's convinced that he's telling her to die. She stands up and is ready to die when he catches up to her. She wants to die so that Sazh can get revenge and feel better.

But unlike Hope, Sazh is an adult. He recognizes that killing Vanille isn't going to make him feel better. It isn't going to bring Dajh back. In fact, he gets even more angry when Vanille says that he should shoot her for his son's sake. Sazh isn't someone who would shoot and kill someone, let alone in the name of his son. Dajh was kind and light-hearted and comforted his father even when his mother was out of the picture. Killing someone in Dajh's name would be an insult to his son, and Sazh has no time for that bullshit when he has to do everything he can to remember Dajh and honor his essentially-dead son.

Somehow, these two suicidal l'Cie actually managed to give each other therapy because both of them want the other to survive even if they themselves die. My favorite line in this part is "You think you die and that's that? You think you die and everything will be sugar and rainbows?" He's fully aware that just killing Vanille isn't going to make anything better. Her death won't fix everything, it will only let her escape her guilt.

He's making Vanille choose whether to live or die, because if she wants to die so much, he isn't going to be the one to kill her.

Sazh is holding his brand from the moment he confronts Vanille, conflicted on whether he himself should live or die. What makes Sazh rise up to fight his Eidolon isn't his own life - it's Vanille's. Vanille is willing to stand up to keep Sazh from giving up and dying to an Eidolon who's trying to convince him to live, Sazh is willing to get up to keep Vanille from dying for him.

And Brynhildr is cool and got me into the Volsunga Saga, so like, yeah.

The fact that Sazh tries but isn't able to kill neither Vanille nor himself proves that his Eidolon actually did help him. Sazh was so frustrated at himself for being unable to shoot Vanille, no matter what she had done and how many mistakes she had made. He's frustrated that he still wants to live and he's willing to fight to live. He thought that he was fighting his Eidolon in order to save Vanille, but he was also fighting for his own life, and by defeating his Eidolon, he proved that he wanted to keep living, whether he realized what he was doing or not.

What's worse is that Nabaat comes in again and says that Dajh's crystal will be put on display as a memorial. Like literally, this little boy turned to crystal is just going to be put up as a "monument to sacrifice", as though Dajh intended to give up his father to PSICOM to be killed in a public execution, as though Dajh found his father in an effort to turn to crystal rather than just wanting to see his father in Nautilus where he'd always wanted to go. As though Dajh Purged an entire town for the sake of Cocoon, as though he captured his father so that he wouldn't live in shame as the son of a Pulse l'Cie rather than actually just loving his dad and being an innocent kid.

It really makes you hate Dysley/Barthandelus later when the anticipated boss battle with Nabaat is cut off abruptly by him. Like, the first time that scene happens, it's a huge reveal! Nabaat is a cunning and sadistic ass who you look forward to beating up, but she's struck down by Barthandelus and he reveals himself to be an actual fal'Cie, where we all thought of him as just a human tool. Turns out, Nabaat is a took, and all her loyalty and cruelty can be cut down by her own superior in an instant.

Her DLC fight in XIII-2 is pretty cool though. Nabaat as a villain is really good. She's top of her class in the army, she's got fabulous hair, she's good at emotional manipulation through a caring façade, and unlike Rosche, she actually did capture her target l'Cie. Though Rosche also had a change of heart at the end and admits to orchestrating mass murder when he falsely trusted the fal'Cie and he would've been a great villain to reform but that's not a story for now.

Sazh hears the full story from Vanille, how his son will eventually be freed from crystal, and just like Lightning and Snow, he resolves to wait and survive however long it takes to see his son again. Just like them, he doesn't know how or when it will be, but he's holding onto something again.

When they escape in the Palamecia, they're not running away anymore. They're both scared of what awaits them, but Sazh points out that they're more scared of dying and giving up now. He's scared of dying so much that he's pushing himself to live now, remembering his son's laughter rather than mourning his loss. It's "time to split. Not run. There's a difference."

I've reached my image limit for Tumblr! Will I reach the word limit? Is there such a thing?!

Basically, if you complete the first some 14 quests on Gran Pulse before pursuing the storyline, Vanille reveals in the Paddraean Archaeopolis that she's claiming to have been the one to have become Ragnarok, leaving Fang to think that she did nothing - when it's actually the opposite. (Also the characters point out that they should try following Dahaka since it lives near Oerba, so Taejin's Tower isn't the first time they can technically see it).

Vanille's still lying. She tries to tell the truth on the Palamecia, but she gets delayed. Then Barthandelus happens, and she gets delayed, thinking that perhaps telling Fang the truth will make her want to destroy Cocoon to fulfill their Focus.

Hope confides in Vanille that sometimes you do have to lie to keep yourself going. It wasn't unreasonable for any of them to use lies to survive, but what mattered is what happened afterwords. Vanille just kept lying and kept running. Hope used his lies to survive, confront Snow, and then he let go and faced his feelings in the end.

Meanwhile Sazh makes up with Fang when he finds the chocobos. He knows Fang's also responsible for Euride, but he doesn't blame either of them - at least, he's willing to forgive because he knows who they are as people. He's taking responsibility for letting Dajh out of his sight, but he's not facing his guilt alone. He's learned that facing everything alone is their downfall. Foreshadowing for Fang in the ending, taking on everything alone.

When Vanille faces her Eidolon, her last lie has been revealed. She's not alone anymore, she has a new family, and there will be no more running away.