This Is Hilarious - Blog Posts

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OP made the post unrebloggable but said it's fine to screenshot and I'm in love with this

They both did the same thing

#jurassic park

Bitch That Is NOT A Deer

I love it when we turn Danny into animals because some weird reason or another, has anyone else done deer yet?

_______

"AAAHHHHHHH!"

A scream reverberated through the cave walls below the manor. A battle of the ages taking place for anyone brave enough to witness it.

"LET GO YOU BAMBI WANNABE, THIS IS MY CHILI DOG."

Jason managed to rip the package away from the jaws of the beast, he knew it was mistake to bring down any kind of food into the cave where the creature resided but in that moment he was thinking more with his stomach.

Demon Brat had once again found another animal, a baby deer of all things, and decided to keep it knowing fully well how to pull the strings of both Bruce and Dick into letting him keep it. The thing is Jason always got a weird vibe from it, almost like some part of him was trying to warn him that this was no normal fawn and living with it proved that.

After being brought to the cave it refused to leave, claiming the environment down here as it's own. They've all tried to move it but it always found its way back down here so they just gave up and created a space for it. Another weird thing about it is it's cry. It does not sound like a normal fawn but instead had the echoing tone of a human baby but appearently only Jason could hear it, the others all said it sounded like a normal animal but he gets the feeling Damian is fucking with him, it doesn't help that Duke is also suspicious of the 'deer'.

But the last reason that really sold him on it not being a normal deer was the fact that it. Ate. EVERYTHING!

No food was safe with the deer around, if you were to put something down it would 100% without fail find its way into the maw of the ravenous creature. This ranged from simple pieces of candy to an entire rotisserie chicken (bones included), it even managed to drink his entire smoothie that had a lid covering it. Everyone tells him that there's no way it could drink through the straw because its mouth wasn't shaped to do so but he knows it did goddamnit.

Now it was infront of him vocalizing its discontent for Jason not sharing his food with a weird ass whine from its mouth.

"No! This is people food, you are a 'deer', ACT LIKE IT!"

The deer stopped its whining.

looked Jason dead in the eyes.

And stood up...

"Ah hell naw, DAMIAN! COME GET YOUR DAMN DEER!"

Back W/ Your Ex || Slytherin Boys

type :: crack, fluff

tw/cw :: pubes (mattheo), grooming mention (theodore)

contains :: draco malfoy, tom riddle, mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire,

summary :: you post a tweet with your toxic ex who's now technically your boyfriend again...

DRACO MALFOY

TOM RIDDLE

MATTHEO RIDDLE

THEODORE NOTT

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

here a mini comic of bkdk virtual boyfriends

sry for any mistake

call me a cd player the way im sitting in the sun and eating oranges

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

Danny, on the run from the GIW decides to take shelter in Gotham because if the GIW have any sense they'd never set foot in there.

Even if Batman and the JL agree with thier opinion on ecto entities (as evidenced by their lack of speaking out against the anti-ecto acts) Batman was notoriously territorial and would have issue with a wildly incompetent government organization throwing missiles around his city all willy-nilly.

With that being said it was probably best for Danny to wear a disguise. Sure, they didn't know Fenton and Phantom were the same person yet but Danny Fenton suddenly turning up in Gotham after going missing in Amity is certainly going to raise some eyebrows regardless of the necklace he had that jammed his ecto-signature and made him untrackable.

Danny started off by going blond. Its something he's always wanted to do and now with ghostly shape-shifting powers he doesn't even have to worry about frying his hair or dying his eyebrows to match. After that all he needed to do was part his hair down the middle, add a lip ring or two and maybe a bit of make up.

Danny stared at himself in the mirror. He looked like a completely different person.

A completely different and very attractive person. He looked good. The newly blond man threw on a green jacket and went out to explore the town. He did not expect to literally bump into the Tim Drake. The Wayne adoptee just stood there mouth opening and closing comically. Did he offend him? Crap. He had promised Jazz he would stay off of the radar of the Waynes and the bats specifically and here he was angering one of them.

Danny decided to book it before it became a scene, ignoring the lovestruck Tim's crys for him to wait.

Back at his apartment Danny quickly changed his look to red hair tied back into a two inch low ponytail, green eyes and freckles that unbeknownst to anyone else was made up from the lesser known constellations.

The coffee at this Cafe smelled amazing! Too bad Danny wouldn't get to try it because the next this he knew freaking Red Hood was behind him asking to talk. Our favorite ghost boy wouldn't be embarrassed to admit he let out a small squeek before bolting out the door yelling, "I'm not even a criminal!"

It took Jason a few seconds to process that the guy he had tried to flirt with ran away in terror. Crap.

Day three and four were blissfully Wayne and bat free, though he did find out that Tim Drake and Red Hood were looking for his two false identities. Joy.

Day five he met the stabby Robin who very valiantly beat up two people who had been following him. Danny didn't even notice he was being followed and thanked the bird for saving him. Danny, who was shape-shifted into a very pretty girl at the moment, offered to buy him something to eat as a thank you. "Danielle" insisted and Robin allowed it. Danielle never noticed the slight pink on Damians cheeks as they went over to one of Damians favorite restaurants.

Day seven he had went out as blondie and got confronted by some girl named Barbara. She was nice and managed to convince him to come to a Cafe with her. He told her his name was David and he ran away from his parents with the help of one of his friends family members and that he was Jewish, which was true...except for the David part. He learned that if you wanna keep your story straight keeping to almost truths was your best bet. She in turn told him about Tim and how he's a friend of hers-uh oh- and that he's been looking all over for him.

Danny-David- tells her he's sorry but he didn't mean to offend Tim and doesn't want any trouble before laying down enough money to cover his half of the bill and the tip and booking it out of there

This repeats with most of the family trying to flirt with him or adopt him into the family when he's out as Danny.

Bruce Wayne approached Danny when he was waiting to board an elevator, "Hel-" was all the billionaire could get out before Danny cut him off "Hell no." And then he just got in the elevator and pressed the close doors button and was gone again.

Danny Fenton, Bernard Dowd, Kon-El, Stephanie Brown, and Tam Fox appear in a warehouse surrounded by demons.

Kon didn't hesitate to throw the first punch and the rest of the abductees were quick to follow suit. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the demons fell apart rather easily with is great for defeating them but not so great for trying to capture one to find out why they were summoned in the first place.

Once all the demons were gone they began talking amongst themselves to figure out what they all had in common, which it turned out they were all dating different versions of Tim Drake.

Danny asked the group who knew about the "feathers" thing and everyone raised thier hand. Okay, so they all knew. That should make things easier.

Bernard tried calling Tim but it only rang once, to which Danny reminded him that this world's Tim might not know who he is or even have the same number. Spooky then pulled out a flip phone with an ominous glowing green screen and made a call.

Tim could be heard on the other line asking him if he was okay and why he was using the emergency phone. Danny explained what he could and Tim promised to find a way to get to him. They said thier goodbyes and loves yous before hanging up.

Danny held up his phone, "Interdimentional phone calls, courtesy of my mad scientist parents." He then had to explain it wouldn't work for them because his phone was keyed into the dimension he came from and his Tim was using it to track them down, so even if he did have the means to recalibrate the signal it would be a bad idea right now.

The others weren't too happy with this but they understood.

They opened the door to the warehouse only to discover they were in a freaking desert. Crap. Out of the five of them only two could fly and none of them had enough supplies on them to travel the desert on foot but they couldn't stay here. Who knew how long it would take for his Tim to track them down. Flying was thier best bet but Danny, being the oldest would have to take two.

Danny shot his love a text warning him about the desert and to be prepared for that if it should be necessary. He got a text back a moment later acknowledging it and worrying over him. He felt so loved.

Now it was time to talk to the others and figure out a plan of action.

a post getting popular on tumblr is like

imagine you are op

you are standing outside in the middle of a field

you say some dumb shit

a couple drops of rain fall on you

and then a few more

and then OH GOD YOURE DROWNING WHERE DID THE RAIN COME FROM THE SKY WAS CLEAR A FEW SECONDS AGO

EVERY TIME YOU PLEAD TO THE GODS TO PLEASE ALLOW THE RAIN TO STOP IT JUST GETS WORSE

THEY LAUGH AT WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU

YOUR HUBRIS WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL

and then a gimmick blog is like "this post contains no punctuation"

occasional posts from users

I am willing to do so

I’ve seen so many angst takes about Bakugou and Deku talking about the bullying, which, okay,, valid. But have you ever really had a friend that used to hate you/you used to hate??? Because let me tell you….

Bakugou and Midoriya refer to the rooftop incident constantly.

As a matter of fact.

Almost every day one of them brings up the fact that Bakugou used to bully Midoriya.

Deku messes up on confessing to Todoroki? Bakugou: “I should’ve pushed you off that roof my damn self. Would’ve saved all of us the embarrassment “

Deku has a presentation in Mic’s class? He slams his head on the table and just,,, “Kacchan, you were right. I should’ve jumped.”

Bakugou annoying Deku? Deku hits him with a “I would’ve dragged your ass off the roof with me!!”

If Deku ever starts muttering too loudly in class, Bakugou just turns around and goes. “You’re so lucky I never punched you in the mouth. Annoying fucker.”

Class hasn’t even started and Bakugou is already yelling at Deku? “Kacchan, what happened to hello? How are you? Burning my notes? What happened to that?”

Deku, looking at his hair and outfit in their middle school photo. “Yknow what? Maybe I DID deserve to be bullied.”

Bakugou listening to Deku complain that he’s going to tell on Bakugou for doing some random shit: “Yeah right. Should’ve had this energy when I actually wanted to explode your dopey face”

The class, realizing they’re ‘not joking’:

“Bakugou, you used to bully Deku??”

“How can you be so dismissive about it?”

Bakugou looking around, “What do you want me to do? Unbully him??”

Them to Bakugou, “Okay, but it’s not your trauma to joke about.”

Deku, snorting, “Yes it is. Have you met me in middle school?”

jimin: and I oop-

Odysseus: *gently hands Athena baby Telemachus*

Athena: …you were PREGNANT AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?!

Odysseus: what?- no-

Athena: DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS?! I WAS TRAINING YOU!

Odysseus: no I wasn’t the one-

Athena: THAT POOR BOY WAS PROBABLY SO SQUISHED IN YOUR HELMET! LOOK AT HOW SMALL HE IS!!

pick one. this is your blind date

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25

26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30

(assume that whoever you get is single)

HARRY OSBORN x READER

Ch.1

- He leaves you for Peter

Hermes and Aeolus watching the ody-poseidon showdown

lamentings of a non-hat guy

It’s 3am and I gave Philza Sky cotl wings and imagining him shifting around doing the dances with them is to hilarious not to keep and now I can only see him with these.

Gintama click and drag game!

Game notes • How to Play

Please use a browser other than Google Chrome to play because the gif always locks onto its first frame on Chrome. Safari and Firefox work, please try those

If you're on mobile, screenshot the gifs either as a set or individually

So I was showing my boss some ideas for classes in my note pad and she’s really quiet and goes…”who is that man staring at me?” And I go……huh? And she points at the page and says “him” and I’m like ??????? Until I realize….

She could see the doodle from the next page bc the paper is so thin lmfaooooo

“Who is that man staring at me”

I’ll never stop thinking about this hbsjsjsk

you can't posses birds cause... um. cause (checks notes) uhhh...

sorry for this 💀

If you blow a kiss at Sun he’s gonna grab it, press a hand to his chest and gasp like he’s touched by the gesture, then throw it over his shoulder and walk away.

If you blow a kiss at Moon they’re gonna grab it, pause for a second, and then pretend to ravenously eat it (chewing sounds included).

i like socializing with other queer people but man there is nothing quite like having a married straight guy as a friend