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coming here to vent bc i feel really dumb and anxious. ive been working towards going to online university for next month but i just realized i did the student finance wrong. ive been in pain and lowkey sleep walking thru life and im autistic too and like i had no help so im not 100% surprised i messed up and i wont be super shocked if it falls thru but idk i dont want it to. idk ill try to take whatever happens as a sign. if i get in i can try to get my life on track. if i dont then maybe i need to wait til i get this pain figured out first. im just really scared ive blown up my life and im too late and ill just be stuck sitting here doing nothing waiting for a solution for the pain to come from my doctors to get on waiting lists. i legit feel like a ghost yk something bound to a house where they cant escape. but im also scared of dropping out again and that im not ready so im just in this state of being between a rock and a hard place and everything sucks. idfk what im going to do. happy 2025 ig idk