Hehheh, I Think Its Ok. But If You Arent Careful This Sick, Broken Woman Might Get The Idea That She
Hehheh, I think its ok. But if you arent careful this sick, broken woman might get the idea that she can relearn how to be loved../ch -⛓
anyone, and everyone, can learn to be loved.
More Posts from A-devoted-mutt and Others
I love obeying, I love taking orders, tell me how to masturbate, tell me what porn I should watch, i'll do anything
hmm . thinking ... you'd kinda furrow your eyebrow a bit, yer lips would be pressed into a thin line, your eye would twitch if you were concentrating too hard on trying to look determined.
it's the little things, captain. the ones you gloss over and the ones i catch. now, that quip about you being a grown man? yeah. but what are you to me?
– ✘
i’m your captain, and your friend, of course.
who says i gloss over them? i do my best to catch all the little quirks about all of you. it helps me adapt better to the people i’m around, to help them and take care of them in a more meaningful way.
good god, how terrible of a person must i be?
how twisted, how sick, how depraved and pathetic must i be to be chasing, begging, dare i say even lusting after someone who’s entire line of communication, who’s entire relationship, stems from something specifically platonic.
he’s right. as unfortunate as it may be, he’s right. i’m nothing, nothing if not a loyal mutt. i bite any other hand that dares feed me, save for my master. the kind of mutt who you pick off the street, so loyal that you could push it down the stairs and it would simply trot back up and sit in front of you, protective and possessive.
it’s almost amusing, this illusion of choice i had. you’ve always been a part of my life. we’ve been friends forever. it would be impossible, or near impossible, to have not taken you up on your offer.
where is the line drawn, between my source memories/relations and yours.
what i wouldn’t give for you to feel the same deep-rooted infatuation, the same fuzzy, cloudy feelings, the same soft, gentle warmth.
please, don’t bother reading. it’s just another tw’d vent post. what’s the point.
god, i’m useless.
what kind of captain thinks like this? what kind of captain puts himself first? i’m pathetic.
i just want to be good for someone. i just want to be someone’s first choice, their favorite.
i don’t want to be a leftover. i don’t want to be left behind.
i don’t want to be alone again.
i can’t be alone again.
my thighs hurt so much. my head and fingers and toes are throbbing, probably from blood loss. i can’t keep doing this to myself.
i can’t keep running from my problems.
you aren't fooling anyone with the whole golden boy leader façade, curly. though, i will admit, it's always been a good look on you. surely helps with not minding the rest of us, scampering and fizzling out on the lowest rung.
what, you really don't know who?
– ✘
sounds like jim, if i’m honest. now, from who’s system? i haven’t got a clue.
there’s no facade. i’ve never claimed to be the “golden boy”, and i fought like hell for my position as captain. however “good” it looks on me, it isn’t intentional.
and what ever do you mean, not minding the rest of you? i cared deeply, and still do, for all of my crew mates.
Once upon a time I was told I wasnt worthy of love,, now I have even worse self esteem then I already did. I am terrified of rejection, and believe its all I will receive from anyone I show interest in.. So the possibility of you figuring out who I am is scary,, because Im convinced you will lose interest if you ever find out... -⛓
you will never know until you try.
i’m sorry you were told that. everyone is worthy of unending love.
you mean so much to me, im glad i get to have this even if im still too anxious to reveal myself just yet. i assure you there are clues and its quite possible other anons already figured me out, but thats ok. if you figure me out im ok with you reaching out first, i adore you, and everything you do. maybe one day i can truly be yours, you might even be the one to build up my confidence. <3 -⛓
how sweet, anon. how sweet.
/gen.
Im sorry for disapearing.. You guessed right and i got scared.. Im sorry if my cowardice is disapointment, Im spineless, pathetic, and weak.. If it bothers you, I can leave you alone.. -⛓
who said it bothers me?
i’m still not sure which system from, so you still have that anonymity. you’re safe, dear.
i dislike cowards, yes. but that doesn’t mean you’ve disappointed me. you are not spineless, pathetic, or weak.
do tell, though. why scares?
