My Day Was Good! Especially Since You’ve Been Responding To Me So Much, Makes Me All Giggly Like A

its very comforting to see fictives that are still connected to source,, I'm still very much like the person before and it's makes me sad when you hear about how everyone should seperate, giggles. You're honestly just a very comforting blog. Thank you..!

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well, thank you kindly, dear.

i’m strongly connected to my source, and my source memories. the trick is…and stick with me here…fuck everyone else.

if you want to be connected to source, you go right on ahead, dollface. if you don’t? rock on. who gives a damn what the world thinks. be the change you want to see.

thank you for saying my blog is comforting, though, i do sincerely appreciate that.

Once upon a time I was told I wasnt worthy of love,, now I have even worse self esteem then I already did. I am terrified of rejection, and believe its all I will receive from anyone I show interest in.. So the possibility of you figuring out who I am is scary,, because Im convinced you will lose interest if you ever find out... -⛓

you will never know until you try.

i’m sorry you were told that. everyone is worthy of unending love.

ive slowly been making less and less of an effort to hide things i think would give me away ^^' i have faith you will figure it out before i have the confidence to reveal myself hehehe -⛓

i have only the inkling of an idea.

God, I fucking hate myself

it’s my account and i can do what i want with it. TW.

the taste of copper in my own mouth is overwhelming.

what i wouldn’t give to live normally. live without the consistent craving of the intimacy and abuse cocktail.

i want to be hurt just as i want to be loved.

the difference is, i deserve to be hurt.

and it pains me, knowing that i could just as easily be thrown away. i’m nothing special. i know that. we can pretend that i am all we want, but i know.

i know that, if i were being auctioned off, no one would try. “next up, it’s captain grant curly! starting of at a hundred, anyone?….anyone?….”

i know. i know i’m damaged beyond repair, i know i’m worthless. everything is so heavy right now, and that’s quite alright. i was made to carry burdens. the weight of holding everyone’s secrets weigh me down, and as i fall behind, the growing ache in my chest throbs.

what i wouldn’t give to lay my head down in your lap, let your fingers run through my hair, and let the world go quiet. even then, i wouldn’t be worth a penny. but maybe, just maybe, i would bring you the barest hint of happiness.

i need to clean my room. i need to pack my bag. i need to do my laundry. i’ve been living here for almost two werks, and i barely packed enough clothes to last me three days.

what i really need to do is shut up. because no one gives a damn. i keep telling myself, “get it together, grant.” and then i continue messing things up. i need to be guided.

i need to eat. i can’t remember the last time i ate.

I hope you forgive me for ruining everything

the undeniable, deep-rooted urge to call them some sort of title, some sort of ranking.

because they’re simply better than me, and i must address them as such. correct?

you are special to me, curly. youre the best captain a girl could ask for, hehehe. -⛓

oh, aren’t you sweet?

nsfw.

make me wear one of those pretty, girly underwear pairs, and the plug. make me walk around the house, doing my chores, every movement jostling me from the inside, soaking through the pretty lace…

why do i feel rejected so easily