It’s My Account And I Can Do What I Want With It. TW.
it’s my account and i can do what i want with it. TW.
the taste of copper in my own mouth is overwhelming.
what i wouldn’t give to live normally. live without the consistent craving of the intimacy and abuse cocktail.
i want to be hurt just as i want to be loved.
the difference is, i deserve to be hurt.
and it pains me, knowing that i could just as easily be thrown away. i’m nothing special. i know that. we can pretend that i am all we want, but i know.
i know that, if i were being auctioned off, no one would try. “next up, it’s captain grant curly! starting of at a hundred, anyone?….anyone?….”
i know. i know i’m damaged beyond repair, i know i’m worthless. everything is so heavy right now, and that’s quite alright. i was made to carry burdens. the weight of holding everyone’s secrets weigh me down, and as i fall behind, the growing ache in my chest throbs.
what i wouldn’t give to lay my head down in your lap, let your fingers run through my hair, and let the world go quiet. even then, i wouldn’t be worth a penny. but maybe, just maybe, i would bring you the barest hint of happiness.
i need to clean my room. i need to pack my bag. i need to do my laundry. i’ve been living here for almost two werks, and i barely packed enough clothes to last me three days.
what i really need to do is shut up. because no one gives a damn. i keep telling myself, “get it together, grant.” and then i continue messing things up. i need to be guided.
i need to eat. i can’t remember the last time i ate.
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Hehheh, I think its ok. But if you arent careful this sick, broken woman might get the idea that she can relearn how to be loved../ch -⛓
anyone, and everyone, can learn to be loved.
Honestly it probably isn’t that far off from one considering how often i’m stalking your account/hj but enough about that. Do you have any favorite people? Can I pretty please be one?
-🌀
i suppose you could.
and awe, you stalk my accounts? i’m flattered.
ive slowly been making less and less of an effort to hide things i think would give me away ^^' i have faith you will figure it out before i have the confidence to reveal myself hehehe -⛓
i have only the inkling of an idea.
nsfw.
i’m home all alone today. not a soul besides me in this house. alone, with my selection of toys.
damn shame you aren’t here.
this is a shitpost.
Thats, reassuring at least. I think I can maybe get away with saying that I am a mw fictive, Im just not the one in your tags.. I am also very mentally ill in general. Do you have any guesses as to who I might be, my lovely captain? I believe you are smart enough to figure it out, youre are amazing like that. -⛓
i’m assuming a fictive of anya?
perhaps you may not be in the tags. that does not mean i don’t care for you. i care deeply for all of my crew.
thank you for the compliments, however. it’s endearing.
i like knowing you'll be there, without fail. i like seeing you sulk about it. it's endearing.
– ✘
it is not endearing. i’m not just some stupid dog, jimmy.
i am never going to be good enough.
you’re going to leave like everyone else.
whether it be because you got bored, or because i upset you, or because you realize i’m just not worth it,
you’re going to leave.
and i’m not ready for you to go just yet…
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