The idea of leaving someone tied up appeals to a lot of bondage enthusiasts. However, there must always be someone monitoring and nearby even if the person tied up is unaware of it. Things can go wrong and it is never appropriate to leave someone tied up like this in difficult or predicament bondage without supervision. Even safer or more comfortable forms of bondage need a degree of safety measure and monitoring in case some form of unexpected emergency arises.
Don’t worry, it happens more often… that moment when you expect to be released and your friend just left , leaving you tied up. And you have no idea when your friend is coming back to untie you. Time for some escape skills…🤭
Practice is all about incremental improvement of your service skillset and your access to arousal from it.
Development of it is all done through a mutually created practice structure. One that we fully communicate on building together and that is reliant on both repeated and fluctuating levels of exposure to various kinks, skills, and resiliency to challenges.
When you miss a practice opportunity do not be concerned, you simply deal with a missed practice by immediately making your missed practice your new top priority and shuffle around ALL other obligations to make room for the practice.
This is part of what, for most who seek to develop a bdsm practice, is an essential agreement one makes when entering into a meaningful practice.
Aftercare. 💙✨
I know most people know what subdrop is, but for the few who don’t I’ll explain.
Subdrop is what happens to your body after you’ve drained your brain of all the hormones and chemicals that it released during a scene or session.
Meaning, after you‘ve come down from your high, you start to feel mentally and emotionally attacked from what just happened. You start to think all these bad things about yourself and how someone normal would not find what just occurred pleasurable in anyways.
That’s why aftercare is important. Showering your sub in compliments,food, cuddle sessions. Just stuff that will make them feel like you care and that you don’t judge them for enjoying what they like.
Another thing, I’m positive that most people don’t know is what topdrop is. It’s the same as subdrop but it affects doms/dommes.
I know some people will be like- “Doms/dommes don’t go through that, nothing like that bothers them.” That’s where you’re wrong.
Remember we’re all human so no one is exempt from feeling used or feeling disgusted with their actions even though they shouldn’t be.
Not many know this but being a dom/domme is exhausting. A good top plans physical punishments or sexual scenes down to the T so their is no room for accidents and after all that planning and executing said plan they sometimes feel bad for doing what they did or even feel used in a sense.
That’s why aftercare is important for both parties. Show them that you care and that you appreciate what they did. Reassure them that they didn’t hurt you in a bad way and that they only did what they did to help you grow. ASK👏 THEM👏 IF👏 THEY’RE👏 OKAY👏!! Especially right after a session.
That can be the difference between showing that you care or not.
AFTERCARE IS A NECESSITY FOR BOTH PARTICIPANTS!!👏💙✨
Everyone learns in different ways.
Reinforcing lessons, to a point of acceptance of that lesson, might require a variety of approaches until it is finally understood to a point that it no longer needs to be taught.
Acceptance leads to sincerity of practice.
If you lack sincerity in your practice then you are still in need of the lessons and the consequences that come from not yet understanding the importance of the practice.
Watch this video. Really watch it. See how she is challenged by this, and then so clearly feels pleased at having succeeded in providing this service to her partner?
Self degradation as a display of your commitment of service to your dominant partner can take many forms.
Some of the essential elements are:
That it be a task that poses some degree of challenge for the submissive to overcome in order to perform it. The greater the challenge the greater the sense of success and pleasure in having overcome it;
That the submissive performing the task amplifies their feeling of submission and their partner’s feeling of control/dominance when it is performed. Again, the greater the challenge the more rewarding the energy is from performing the task sincerely and successfully;
That it serves to support some value the dominant has, regardless of whether the submissive understands that value. Letting go of “why” is a big part of the trust necessary to overcome big challenges. Understanding comes from practicing together.
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Desiring to serve largely becomes an exercise in practicing the performance of challenging tasks that demonstrate commitment to service.
The dominant partner is going to explore having the submissive perform a variety of low rated and challenging tasks from their checklist because performance of these difficult tasks is how true submission and commitment to service can be most dramatically explored.
Feeling the energy flow as a submissive obeys through extreme challenges is often an intrinsic aspect of this family of kinks.
My good girl, my ashtray, I'm going to smoke my Cuban cigar, open your mouth, I don't want to see a tear fall, the consequences could be much worse, and remember to always thank me 🖤
This is a kink blog, often featuring extreme sexual content. My wife and I are in a Daddy Dom/middle dynamic. She is my submissive always but we are in an open marriage as well. My baby @janefdoe is free to play with other men and women so feel free to chat with her. I also play with women.
Trigger warnings are in effect on this page for: CNC, objectification, humiliation, sex*ual violence, abuse, degradation, misogyny
We are both feminists and believe that consent is critical. We both strongly believe in gender equality and women's rights.
However in the context of kink, misogyny, degradation and abuse are a big part of our relationship. Jane loves being objectified, humiliated, degraded and to be called stupid, dumb and loves verbal abuse. Keep in mind that as you see posts of this nature on either of our pages, this is all in the context of role play and kink. There is no one in the world who is smarter and I have more respect for than my beautiful and brilliant wife. But this page is our playtime space so you will see lots of content and terms and epithets that may be offensive or triggering.
Please be aware that the content of our pages do not reflect our world beliefs about women or consent. Outside of this page and our lifestyle we strongly believe that women absolutely need to be treated with respect unless consent is provided otherwise. These are kinks that Jane and myself personally like for our private lives but do not presume them to apply outside of our kink lifestyle.
Therefore, we respectfully ask anyone visiting this page to please be aware of this before proceeding or interacting with us. If you are sensitive to these kind of subjects or have triggers regarding s*xual violence, fantasy non-consent, and violent/extreme discussions involving women, please proceed with caution to avoid any triggering content. Please keep these things in mind if you are easily offended and understand that this is our fantasy lifestyle and that consent is always present between my wife and I.
@janefdoe and myself are strong LGBTQ+ friendly allies. While gay content will not be featured heavily on this page, please be aware that homophobic slurs and attacks are not in any way acceptable on either of our pages and any comments regarding that will be deleted and offenders banned. Hateful and racist comments will also not be tolerated.
Use common sense and you should be able to enjoy our content.
Trust is the essential foundation of all BDSM practices, and potentially emotionally challenging scenario spaces using humiliation or degradation are an exercise in emotional trust in the same way Bondage or S&M focus more heavily on exploring and growing physical trust.
The reality is that a humiliation sub is far from worthless, (just maybe don’t tell them that while they’re experiencing subspace within the energy of the humiliation kink.)
The thing about this is that being able to embrace a deep state of humiliation or degradation requires a sub’s tremendous faith and trust in the Dom who is activating the sub’s humiliation and managing the scenario in a way for them to be able to be free to wallow in the ecstatic subspace it generates. Submission is a gift of trust between a sub and a Dom and without the sub trusting the Dom and giving them the power and authority to humiliate or degrade the sub, there is no exploration of this energy.
It is also imperative to understand that a Dom is also putting tremendous trust in the sub. Trust that the sub will operate within the experience in a way that is not self-harming such as exploiting the Dom’s energy in order to amplify feelings low self-esteem or to project past power abuse traumas (such as past or ongoing parental emotional abuse) onto the Dom in ways the Dom has not consented to.
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Some tangential concerns that get too little discussion:
Refusal of aftercare or treating it dismissively. Aftercare communication is essential to understanding a scenario that you’ve experienced together. Rejection of it is a form of harm to your partner and demonstrates a lack of willingness to be personally accountable for the energy flow and to be sincerely present and contemplatively engaged in whatever the experience was. This demonstrates a lack of trustworthiness and potentially a lack or trust as a partner.
Another is anger. A Dominant is always accountable to not becoming angry. A sub might (even unconsciously) draw a Dom toward anger as part of their projection of past trauma from another partner or parent. A Dom who is experiencing anger should yellow safeword to redirect an experience away from that energy.
One part of a sub’s responsibilities are to contemplatively work on their self awareness in ways that allows for exploration, but does not create obstacles to exploration. Projection of past trauma that gets used to justify resentment or scenario rejection
Just as a Dom is responsible to not become angry and to steer the scenario away from the trigger for it, a sub is responsible to steer away from behavior that triggers anger from the Dom.
A healthy BDSM practice is always going to start in a balanced place of good communication and return to a balanced place of good communication. Anger, resentment, or other obstacles are always signs that a practice is not ready to move forward in any way other than into more time spent on communication and balance.
Humiliation is a statement about how willing I am to debase myself for him. It’s about the contrast with who I otherwise am. I don’t get wet when he calls me a worthless cumslut because I believe I am lacking value, I get wet when he calls me a worthless cumslut because he’s pointing out to me how low I am willing to go for him. He knows I’m an accomplished woman, worthy of being treasured, and that it’s only for him that I will lower myself to ‘’worthless’’ cumslut in order to please.
When drool drips down my chin, when I spread my ass open to his gaze, and when I perform acts for him I can barely speak, they are statements about the lengths I will go to for his pleasure. These moments recognize the disparity between the me that belongs to the rest of the world, and the me that belongs to him
Work together on lists like this so the items better reflect what he considers to be proper and enjoyable service
Grope me openly while we're out
Have me wear a cute plug and a short dress out in public to show off
Get me completely wasted and take advantage of me, bonus for cross fading
Use me in front of your friends/ share me with them
Piss in my ass and then put a plug in me. Call me a disgusting toilet while you pat my head.
Make me crawl around naked with a leash on
Have me suck on you all day under your desk
Tie me up and overstimulate me until I'm screaming and crying
Get me a shock collar and shock me randomly for fun. Especially while bringing you things, punish me when I drop them
Make me exercise while full of toys until I collapse
Only let me eat food if you've cummed on it
Make me ask to use the bathroom, tell me no randomly to watch me squirm
Leave cute little marks all over my body, bruises, burns, welts, cuts, etc.
Stretch out my pussy till I cry and then mke fun of me for being loose
Make me get piercings/tattoos for you
Tell me to be quiet or else, then torture my pussy until you can punish me for squealing
Only let me cum while your dick is in my ass so I'm always craving anal to cum
Shove random things in my pussy, laugh when it hurts
Dont let me eat for a few days, tell me its just so you can throw me around easily
Write degrading things all over me, make me go out with it on
Help me take baths and randomly hold me under water while I squirm
Don't let me breathe until I make you cum
Make me dress so that I feel exposed everyday
Don't let me talk for several days
Make me sign a contract to be completely free use for you
Make me sleep on the floor unless I've earned it
Make me clean the toilet with my mouth, shove my head in and piss on me when I'm done
I make you dinner every night but I dont get to eat unless you leave some leftovers for me
Get mad at me for not being wet all the time
Brainwash me so I'm completely obedient ❤️I'm open to more suggestions of course!❤️
Consent is the essential element that makes scenarios possible. I’ll clarify and make more peominent this part of my bio given some ego-centric tools seem to think they matter to me: I write simply for my own practice putting thoughts into text. Nothing I write is about nor for anyone else save for myself and my partner in practice.Additionally: Feminism in BDSM is the essential idea that a person of any gender can only participate as a submissive in BDSM if they start from a position of respected equality Married over 40No DM’s
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