“There Is A Very Pure Freedom To Be Found In Complete Submission.”

Serious post / please read.

If you don’t care for me breaking my “character” (because, yes, this IS a character I front as when I’m submissive, this is not how I act in real life or in interactions outside of here.) then scroll, this isn’t for you. If you DO care then read PLEASE.

This will mostly likely be the only post besides for my intro that will be serious in any way.

(Long post ahead, lots of reading.)

I am aware that with a lifestyle and blog like this there’s always going to be creeps and downsides to it, but it’s getting to a point where I need to address it. Me being a submissive is NOT an invitation to take what you want from me no matter what.

I have repeatedly been receiving threatening, demeaning and disgusting messages for how both how I live/act and simply refusing a request. You will know if you are one of these people because I’ve asked you to check my blog at the exact time this is scheduled to be posted—and also because I am assuming that you are aware that you are a piece of shit.

BDSM is not about demeaning shaming or being disgusting to anyone in it. All of those are in some ways kinks, yes, but there is a very big difference between a kink and genuinely horrific behavior. If someone refuses a request or corrects you in any way on their limits—apologize, don’t bother them again, and think about yourself for a bit. Did you check to see if they have an intro/boundary post? Did you add for them to only do it if comfortable with it? Did you decide to send it regardless of their boundaries because you were desperate? There’s many more questions I could give you to contemplate but my job isn’t to babysit every rotten person on here.

It’s not my preference taking the time to explain what should be very basic concepts to everyone on here but I’m doing it anyway because I’m worried about some of the safety concerns this behavior has raised.

Basics

First of all, in any sort of session/scene or serious interaction between a dom there just has to be a very strong foundation of trust, communication, and respect. These are essential for ensuring safety and well being of all participants. Do not, I repeat, do not engage in a serious (often real life) session with a dom who doesn’t know what they are doing. There are MANY things that could cause long term harm to your or them. Educate yourself well on something before even beginning to practice it.

SSC/further basics

Now, let’s talk about SSC. This stands for Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Safe: all activities should be conducted in a manner that minimizes risk and prioritizes the physical and emotional safety of all parties. This includes (but is not limited to) safe words, aftercare and clear communication of boundaries. Sane: any activity should be carried out with a clear and rational state of mind. It’s extremely important that all participants are fully aware and understand the nature of the activities they are engaging in. Consensual: consent is paramount. All parties must willingly agree to participate without any form of coercion or pressure. Consent must be informed, enthusiastic and can be withdrawn at any time.

Open and honest communication is vital. Discuss boundaries, limits, and expectations beforehand. Regular check-ins during and after scenes help ensure that everyone is comfortable and consenting. A hard boundary is something that will never, under any circumstance happen because it is outside of the limits of one member in some way. A soft limit is something that isn’t someone’s favourite but may be engaged in anyway if they are convinced to do it (and they are consenting and enthusiastic about it. Not that they are being pressured into it), simply change their mind, or maybe their partner is very into it so they decide to give it a try.

As said before, educate yourself about the practices you are interested in. Proper knowledge and preparation can prevent accidents and misunderstandings. This includes understanding the tools and techniques you plan to use and recognizing the signs of physical and emotional distress. There are many ways to accidentally cause harm to someone, especially in more intense/hardcore kinks.

Impacts

Following the ending of a session, the surge of adrenaline and endorphins lead your body to a temporary imbalance. The rush of these chemicals leaving your body, known as sub drop, can be just as impactful. While you might be a very willing participant in these activities (or even find they reduce stress!), your body will react accordingly. Often during a session you will experience prolonged stress, which causes your body to continually produce cortisol, which compresses your immune system.

If you were on the receiving end, it is very likely that you will be sore from receiving punishments or being bound, potentially in uncomfortable positions. Both mentally and emotionally, you may feel exhausted, disconnected from your partner or confused over your enjoyment at the scene. You may even be disoriented and feel disconnected from your body. This is normal. If you’ve experienced anything else following a session, chances are that’s normal too! Other symptoms include: lethargy, inability to regulate body temperature, high or low blood pressure, nausea, pain, headaches, dizziness, weak muscles, lack of focus or even unconsciousness. This can come as quite a shock, especially if you weren’t expecting it. This is where aftercare comes in. If you are a sub it is likely that the guidance and aftercare from your dominant partner will help ease the symptoms and bring you back down safely and comfortably.

Aftercare

Aftercare is absolutely necessary, regardless of the intensity of the session. The popularity of cuddling and food after a session have led quite a few people to describe aftercare as “Cuddles and Carbs” I will admit, the name is very cute but there is a lot more that goes on for aftercare to be done properly. The first step will always be to properly care for any bruises, abrasions or other injuries. This must absolutely be done, regardless of reluctance towards it. This might mean cleaning and bandaging any abrasions, rubbing soothing ointment on an ass that’s been spanked red or applying an ice pack to reduce inflammation of a body part. A first aid kit should be part of your aftercare kit, as well as remain on hand in case of any mishap during the session.

A glass of water or Gatorade will hydrate your body and introduces electrolytes that are needed. A tea could also work. It’s also a good idea to include a snack—it should be light and healthy, such as fruit, to replenish natural sugars that might have depleted during the session. Salty snacks boost potassium, which most likely dropped due to dehydration.

The physical contact you need or provide as part of aftercare varies with your relationship, but I would say the most often practiced is simply cuddling. Cuddling is a great way provide physical contact as well as boost oxytocin. If you and your partner aren’t exactly cuddle buddies a warm blanket or robe is an easy way to substitute.

You’re going to feel lethargic from all the hormone activity in your body, so sleep is a crucial form of aftercare. Some people simply need a nap (sometimes with their partners), while others need a full night’s (or more) of rest to allow their bodies to repair and return to normal.

After all of the boring but necessary steps, you’re free to do as you please. Some couples may enjoy simply talking and laughing, continuing to cuddle while watching a movie, or taking a bath. All of these are great ways to help your emotional and physical state.

Aftercare is, of course, not limited to subs. Aftercare for dominant partners is important—but I’ve spent about forty five minutes writing this, so most likely that will be posted sometime tomorrow.

Thought of something else I should post regarding the safety side of BDSM? DM me!

(I’m only not sure what the most popular tags are so I just tried to add as many as I could so this gets recognition.)

Self delusional misinformation like this is why everyone rightly is laughing at actual “patriarchy” promoting people.

Feminism is simply the assertion that all people have an equal right to choose the life they want for themselves.

Weak men who cannot earn a woman’s submission demonize things out in the world so they have something to blame other than themselves for their inability to develop good relationships that reflect the lifestyle they desire. That lack and subsequent lashing out are pitiful, really.

Feminism simply means a woman gets to choose what she wants rather than pretending that weak men have an unearned right to hold power over what a woman chooses for herself.

Some men will choose not to have children and work. Some women will, also. That equality in having self determination is feminism. Some men want a submissive wife. Some women want to be a submissive wife. Weak men tantrum all about like toddlers without their blankie demanding a submissive wife because these men lack the developmental milestones to earn that sort of relationship.

Make it make sense…

Work on a list of names that appeal to him for you to be called by him, his friends, your friends, and yourself.

Names to call it

Abuse whore Asslicker Bitch Bloody stinking mess Bootlicker Braindead set of warm holes Cocksocket Cocktrough Cockwhore Cumdump Cumrag Cunt Cuntface Cuntslime Dogfucker Dumb animal Dumbass Entertainment for Men Filthy pig Fleshlight Fuckface Fuckhole Fuckmeat Fuckpig Fucktoy Fucktunnel Garbage Gutterslime Living toilet paper Pathetic idiot Pig Pissmop Prey Property Punching bag Rapemeat Retard Shit-for-brains Skank Slut Spitbucket Stupid bitch Torturemeat Trash Ugly gash Urinal Useless lump of flesh Wet-pussy bimbo Whore Worthless piece of shit Breeding mare Spittoon Hormone monkey Tit clown Sewer Waste-of-space Fuckservice Spermcontainer Shit bag Humiliation toy Cock sheath Entertainment unit Clit clown Fleshlight

Addendums if you want to make verbal abuse more verbal: …with a pulse …with a breath …on two legs …aka female …formerly known as <its name here>

Porn is a very good tool to use as the basis of discussion about kinks. It is important to remember that women in our society are conditioned to think that what you are showing them is about what they need to look like and not the behavior or energy being exhibited. This is a common misunderstanding and can create a lot of unnecessary difficulties for communication based on porn images / clips.

Sometimes the appearance is the point or an element of the point, but where that is the case it should be specifically made the focus. So, if appearance isn’t the point, be very specific about the fact that the women in the porn’s appearance is not the point. Be clear about this, even to the point of absurdity because the depth of this assumption is extremely difficult for a lot of women to overcome even with support and intentional direction. This can even manifest to the degree that they might not believe that this isn’t the real point of what you are showing them.

fellas, this is your reminder to send her all your favorite p0rn videos so she can take notes on what your expectations are for her

just some PSA's to subs:

hard doms really are like that. they aren't joking.

it's okay not to be into certain kinks. aftercare. ect. set the boundary.

babe, him being an online dom doesn't mean he's experienced. on that note, MOST doms are only online doms with no experience.

learn how to get yourself off. and never be scared to tell him how to.

there's someone into that weird thing you like.

oh, there's also someone into that deep dark one you'd never admit. trust me. it's literally fine.

hookup with other subs. trust me.

take care of your bodily health first.

ask for what you need. ask for it. if they refuse to give it to you. find someone who will.

EVEN AS A SUB. TAKE NO SHIT. DONT BE WALKED ON.

Work out examples like this that he asserts are proper methods of service. If in doubt, show him a list like this and ask if he will help you make the list better or better suited to what he likes.

Remember, if he doesn’t want it then it is not service.

15 ways to be a better cocksucker

#1 – Be able to host, especially if he is married.

#2 – Break your gag reflex by practicing with a banana or a dildo

.#3 – Never use your hands, unless told to

.#4 – Look him in the eyes when his cock is down your throat.

#5 – Learn to listen and observe non-verbal cues that tell you how to suck him better

#6 – Pay attention to his balls as well.

#7 – you don’t need to take a break.

#8 – When he is cumming, keep sucking him all the way through until his orgasm ends.

#9 – Always swallow, unless he decides to blow it some other way, in which case, let him.

#10 – Keep his cock in your mouth after he has come, and let it get soft while he comes down from his orgasm. He might fall asleep with his cock in your mouth, let him.

#11 – When he is done cumming, you are not done. Get him hard again.

#12 – Strive to make your mouth a replacement for masturbation. I would much rather cum down your throat than jerk off

.#13– Rim him. When you are rimming him, don’t stop until he is finished enjoying it, which can be over an hour sometimes. Get used to that.

#14 –touch your cunt when you are sucking him, but do not cum

.#15 - Ask him if he wants to take pictures or record you sucking his cock to brag and show to his friends

It's ok to have rape fantasies/kinks where you're the aggressor.

It's ok to have teacher/student fantasies/kinks where you're the teacher.

It's ok to have power imbalance fantasies/kinks where you're the one with more power.

It's ok to have predator/prey fantasies/kinks where you're the predator.

It's ok to have pain/punishment fantasies/kinks where you're the one inflicting the pain/punishment.

Your fantasies and kinks don't make you a bad person.

Safely exploring your fantasies and kinks through fiction or through role playing (either online or in-person acts) with other consenting adults doesn't make you a bad person.

PSA:

The various found content that people repost onto their blogs will be used by me as a writing prompt. I do this commonly as a way to randomly/spontaneously generate and write down some of my own random thoughts.

I write for my own self reflective benefit and purpose.

Don’t try to make yourself the center of my attention simply because I reblogged something you posted (specifically when it is not your own actual content) and then added my own thoughts.

Unless you are my partner, you are 100% irrelevant - in every way - to what I am writing and why I am writing it.

If I write something and it offends your shallow skim on a topic, that’s a you issue. Entirely. Simply block me. Whatever drama you are craving isn’t going to manifest here in any way other than me blocking you.