The Instructions Are Back!

FRODO: I can’t do this, Sam.

SAM: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.

FRODO: What are we holding on to, Sam?

SAM: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.

a LOT of kink content on tumblr is fantasy and does not reflect what kink should actually be like. it is totally ok to be turned on by these fantasies and it's good to incorporate them into your sex life in safe ways. however a lot of the hot hardcore kink scenarios that make it seem like everything was spontaneous are not necessarily lying to you, but they are leaving out the "before" part. kink requires a LOT of discussion and communication. you should not forsake this part of kink because you wanna get to sex immediately because the before and after of kink are just as important, if not more, than the during.

PSA:

The various found content that people repost onto their blogs will be used by me as a writing prompt. I do this commonly as a way to randomly/spontaneously generate and write down some of my own random thoughts.

I write for my own self reflective benefit and purpose.

Don’t try to make yourself the center of my attention simply because I reblogged something you posted (specifically when it is not your own actual content) and then added my own thoughts.

Unless you are my partner, you are 100% irrelevant - in every way - to what I am writing and why I am writing it.

If I write something and it offends your shallow skim on a topic, that’s a you issue. Entirely. Simply block me. Whatever drama you are craving isn’t going to manifest here in any way other than me blocking you.

A good example of an entry-level severity, no-count paddle spanking

An after bath spanking for a naughty girl to make sure she pays attention at work.

Dominance and Depression

When getting out of bed, cleaning the house, and paying the bills are unbearable chores, being responsible for another human being’s welfare can feel like a crushing burden. A Dominant who lives with depression may at times feel weak, irresponsible, no match for the task of even showing up to the job, nevermind exerting the effort and strength required to be the submissive’s rock and shelter. Depression creates unique challenges for the relationship, and will test the strength and patience of both Dominant and submissive. Only by working together can the couple maintain their bond and fulfill their roles.

Here are a few observations and bits of wisdom I’ve gleaned from capable sources, as well as from my own time in the trenches.

Your mental health is your responsibility. Yes, your partner should support you in every way possible and make all efforts to help you through the rough patches. But no one can cure you. No one can save you. No one can carry the burden for you. Take your meds. Talk to your therapist. Keep your appointments. And when you feel like doing nothing but lying in bed and hiding from the world, remember that you are a Dominant, you are strong, you are your own light. Throw off those covers and leap out of bed.

Tell your submissive what you need. This is often exceedingly difficult, because you may not have a clue what you need. But make every effort to keep those lines of communication open. During your lowest times, your submissive may feel lost and unsure without your usual guidance and strength. Assure them that you love them still, that this depression is in no way a reflection on them, and give them tasks that will allow them to do what most drives them: pleasing you

Submissives, this is your opportunity to step up and show your quality. Pleasing your Dominant is your purpose and goal in this relationship. Keep to your daily rituals and rules as much as possible. Remind your owner that you belong to them, that you love them with all your heart, and that they are not alone in the darkness. Do those things that usually please them, without waiting to be told. And above all, be available, and be patient. They will come back to you. You just have to turn on the light for them to find their way home.

Depression can sap all of your strength and motivation. It can make you doubt everyone and everything. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You’re not suffering from depression; you are living with it. You are not a victim; you are a survivor. When the darkness settles around you like an impenetrable fog, remember the steel you’re made of and the be empowered by the worship of the one who loves you above all others. Get up. Wake up. Arise, O lions, and shake off the delusion that you are sheep.

Feminism means that every woman has an intrinsic right to choose any kind of sexual energy that she wants for herself in her life.

This is an excellent example of why it is important to edge in relationship to a practiced behavior such as being spanked.

Edging as part of training a behavior intentionally conditions an arousal trigger in connection to being spanked so that you begin to subconsciously crave the spankings in a way that causes you to sincerely present yourself in a way that a girl who has not engaged in that conditioning, simply can’t.

Certainly a perforative presentation can be made by any submissive, but the sub’s behavior stemming from sincerity, arousal, and genuine craving is what a Dominant with interests like myself feels excited and compelled by.

Edging with spankings serves an additional purpose beyond simple conditioning, also. Edging allows the nervous system to be hijacked in a way that takes the pain of an experience, in this case spanking, and redistributes the relationship you have to experiencing that particular type of pain into a pleasure center rather than a recoiling center.

This is, in part, why real training protocols are a trust exercise as much as anything else.

Just to repeat myself

I've been seeing a recent influx of followers so now is a good opportunity to repeat a post I've made before:

This blog is not a safe space for nazis, trump supporters, right wingers, transphobes, homophobes or actual real life misogynists.

If any of the above describes you, kindly fuck off.

Always good to see the good old instructions are still circulating

A reminder from the therapy couch: just because you’re a service submissive does not mean you should pour out your cup completely and never replenish it. You do both your Dominant and yourself a disservice by disinvesting in your wellbeing.