-Varian

Tip for any gender-queer or non-conforming people out there: Know the law.

Doesn't matter how cis you are, anyone who doesn't immediately fit the absurd and convoluted way the right thinks we should look/dress/walk/speak is at risk for harassment and hate crimes just for existing.

Do your research and know your regions laws on bathrooms, the use of preferred names, what counts as trespassing, and anything else that you might be told you're doing illegally. Know what protects you in what contexts and don't break those laws if you don't have to or are not intentionally taking a stance.

When harrassed know what you are allowed to do or say and give them NO reason to take action. They won't care what the law actually says but if you know it and have your receipts at very least you shouldn't be persecuted of anything. The people doing the harassing are usually breaking the law themselves and if they try to take action you can use that to protect yourself.

Don't give anyone a reason to be aggressive or violent, and don't ever do something you could get in legal trouble for. As soon as you give them something to use they will take full advantage of it and nothing else will be relevant. The right doesn't respect differing view points and fighting with morals will get you nowhere. But the have most of the systematic power, and some will violate every law they can as long as no one stops them. Knowing what they can and can't do is sometimes all you need to protect yourself. Being able to challenge corruption because you can label it as such takes away their advantage of trusting you can't call out their bullshit.

Be safe. Educate yourself. Don't do anything that will put you in danger if you don't need to. We can't fight a war on hate without at least showing how powerful peace and cooperation can be.

Don't give them a viable reason to go after you. Because they will if they have one.

Serious TW for SH

No photos or graphic depictions

I relapsed into sh recently, and only now told my bf. I told him that if he was mad I understood. And that if it changes anything between us I’ll work hard to repair it. I said it all by text at midnight, fully expecting him to be asleep. But he instantly called me, told me really gently that he wasn’t mad, that he understands it in pain and this is how I cope. He said it’s not okay that I do it, but that he understands and that nothing is going to change just because I didn’t tell him right away.

I don’t know what I did to deserve this man.

-Apollo

Okay, hear me out.

Maybe excluding people can be a good thing?

NOT ALL THE TIME FOR ANY STUPID REASON!! THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO EXCLUDE OR HATE ANYONE FOR ANY REASON CAUSE YOU DONT LIKE/UNDERSTAND THEM!!

I’m just saying, there’s a reason they don’t let non addicts into recovery meetings (except for therapists)

There’s a reason they separate grades by age

There’s a reason I don’t like posts saying that no one should ever be excluded, because that denies the fact that people are complex, imperfect, and that they vary dramatically. There are allowed to be spaces for specific people to feel safe.

I understand that the whole world shouldn’t be this way. But I want to hear anything about why my blog has to be tolerant of anything. This includes but is not limited to:

-Hate and bigotry of any kind

-Political beliefs

-Your stance on syscourse

That’s literally it. Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to hear anyone out. But I reserve the right to block anyone I please, because I want this blog to be a safe space for people like me.

Do you want this power? Great. Make your own blog and block whoever the fuck you choose. But this one’s mine.

It’s okay to put boundaries down with people who make you uncomfortable, the same way it’s okay to tell someone they haven’t experienced the same thing as you and because of that they aren’t allowed in your safe space.

It’s okay to be a bit selective of those you tolerate for your and others safety.

But before I go I repeat

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO EXCLUDE OR HATE ANYONE FOR ANY REASON CAUSE YOU DONT LIKE/UNDERSTAND THEM!!

Anyways, I’ll be up for a while if you want to tell me off

Night -be/apollo

Update, we went to the doctor and she was very concerned by our symptoms but didn’t actually do a POTS test like we hoped she would. She told us a cardiology would do it but we don’t have the money to see a specialist. So instead we’re going to see if we can get tested at our local health department tomorrow. Will let you guys know.

I did put on my old Apple Watch to track my heart rate and it has such a high range. Just through the day my hr will jump from 86-130 cause I stand up.

Ha ha, doctor’s appointment in the morning to see if I have a chronic disease. Let’s see how this goes.

-Apollo

I hate constantly having to mask our identity to the point of forgetting who we are. It sucks

- Be

Being an ADHD author is so counterproductive sometimes. You scroll back twenty chapters to make sure you’re consistent with details and suddenly it’s been two hours, it’s time to go to sleep, and you’ve only written two hundred words because you went back to checked a detail and never stopped reading.

-Hunter

[Text: This introject isn't their source.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

Tw: suicide attempt-hospitalization-mental health

Continue at your own expense

So, we’ve been gone for a bit. Our depressive episode came to a head, and we downed a months worth of our antidepressants and ended up on a ventilator in the ICU. We were in the hospital for 6 days before getting transferred to a psych unit where we spent another 8 days.

Everything before the OD is incredibly blurry. All of our memories feel farther away than they are and we keep getting confused on what happened when, not too far from the norm but much worse than usual. That mixed with the chronic back pain from lying in bed for six days means we are far from recovered.

That being said, I want to thank those who have supported me thus far. Even though most of them will never see this, I want everyone to know that none of them have given up on me, and they have all gone above and beyond to help me in anyway they can. I am so beyond appreciative for those who have stood by me despite my stupid decision making.

One of the reasons I’m posting this is to have a timeline of when things happened to look back on, but also so I don’t forget how many people have helped me.

-Apollo

Glad I could help 😊-Apollo

One of the most validating things you can do as a system is try to act like one of your alters, you will very quickly realize you can’t, because it’s just not you. So whenever you need a validation boost, turn on a camera so you can look back on it, and then pick one of your alters and pretend to be them for a few minutes. It’ll look stiff and awkward and not quite right. Because it’s not them.

This tip has been from Apollo. Goodnight people’s

I’ve tried journaling and we collectively suck at it, but the pictures definitely might help if we can figure out how to do it consistently. Thank you so much for the suggestion/gen /pos

-Apollo

Okay but can we talk about how much amnesia sucks? As a system we don’t have a lot of in the moment Black outs. We have some grey outs and a lot of emotional amnesia, but we don’t fade in and out of consciousness. At least not that we remember.

What we do struggle with is remembering past events. Even as far back as a week or two ago we have black spots that we can’t even remember that we don’t remember. Friends will tell me something happened and I just have to go with it even though I have absolutely no clue what their talking about.

I apparently beat my bf at a board game a few weeks ago and he brought it out again for us to play. I didn’t recognize it all. My first reaction was:

“Oh that looks like a fun game,”

Because I had zero recollection of ever playing it or even seeing it. My bf looked me dead in the face and asked if I was serious because it had only been a few weeks since I destroyed him at it.

There are so many good memories that I’m missing because of my disorder. So many moments that are lost to me and without me even realizing that they aren’t there.

This is one of the darker parts of the disorder that I don’t see talked about a lot. Missing time with loved ones so you don’t remember the trauma.

There are good things that have come from my system and headmates. But let’s not invalidate the pain that comes from not remembering your past.