Latest Posts by automatictastemakertheorist - Page 3

I got it for both PS4 and PC, and the PS4 version is way smoother for some reason. Still love it.

Also I’m really disappointed I don’t get cyber enhanced genitals, at least not to the point I’m at in the game. :(

Gonna be loosing my life to Cyberpunk2077 as soon as it downloads, can't wait 😂🤘🏻 hahaha

A sexy college professor.

Why yes, we can study anatomy all day, daddy.

i see no difference.

Hello fellow idiot!

Also I’m thinking of like, in Arthur’s route, you get threatened by some random barflies, which, yeah I’ll glass y’all in the face any day of the week. And I think some college bro punks try to start shit in Isaac’s route? I’ve killed off a lot of my brain cells with quarantine drinking, so my memory might be iffy.

Also, IRL tip from my time spent working with law enforcement: if someone tries to grab you/lure you away and take you somewhere, scream, run away, do whatever it takes not to go with them. Your odds of getting out alive are a lot better if you put up a fight before the asshole gets you to a private place.

This has been a PSA from your friendly local embittered old feminist former prosecutor

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

Fellow old people will recognize the demon brothers as the sexy counterparts to Elaine Benes.

I said what I said.

If you ever wonder why you can't win a dance battle

It may be because these fuckers can't dance for shit

Pro tip! Make a 1:1 solution of water and white vinegar and spray it on the pee spot. The vinegar should react with the ammonia in the urine and help neutralize the smell.

Mum and I let a stray cat into the house just now and he pissed on the curtain so we’ve been frantically trying to cover up the smell so Dad doesn’t tell us off.

I sprayed the scene of the crime with a load of dettol but now the whole room smells of that which is even more suspicious.

So I said to Mum: “what if he questions why it smells like a toilet in here now?”

To which she replied: “We’ll just tell him you farted so I had to light the candles but they weren’t enough.”

THANKS MUM

Made this in five minutes in MSPaint. Sorry not sorry for the shit quality, but this is literally all I can think about when someone calls Lucifer “Luci”.

Y’all I got this card and y’all

I’m simping Barbatos.

When he’s your surprise guest and he’s so --- UGH I HAVE DIED FROM UWU

THEY DID NOT JUST PUT GLASSES ON BARBATOS

TBH you’re much better off dating Lucifer than a lawyer. We’re all kinds of messed up and we don’t have the excuse that we have to punish Mammon all the time.

i-

how this year’s review makin me feel

If this song doesn’t give you mad Mammon vibes, I don’t know what to tell you, except to ask, how do you eat food when you clearly have no taste?

This was way more fun than it had any right to be.

Why no I’m not spending my Sunday night drinking beer and playing on Picrew, I’m a normal grown-ass adult

Everyone stop what you’re doing and create a magical you with this picrew

@thechaoscult @pluto-is-real @goswlogpncmcrfobpjstltruaqhtma42 @everyone

“Justin Bieber”

I am dying. I am deceased.

Also, petition to call our gluttonous one Clyde from now on. It makes me think of the big Clydesdale horses, which absolutely are the Beels of the horse world.

Old trend, but I let my Mom guess the brother's names

I gave her a tiny hint, "they don't have Japanese names."

I’m bringing him to some mud hole in Nowhere, Mississippi and teaching him noodling. And then we’re going to have a catfish fry.

Cultural exchange FTW

also did y’all know that solomon’s va’s hobby is fishing and that he’s a fish illustrator on ig 😭

Local Demon Brothers Personified With Onion Headlines

(with bad words and alcohol, for your consideration)

Lucifer:

Mammon:

Levi:

Satan:

Asmo:

Beel:

Belphie:

Story time! When I was a kid in art class, I always got in trouble for coloring every person in my pictures brown or black or yellow, even if I was drawing myself or my pale German-ass family. My teacher would scold me like, “Your family isn’t brown or yellow! Don’t use that color!” and I’d throw a tantrum, yelling “WELL I’M NOT THE COLOR OF THE WHITE CRAYON WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??”

And then I grew up and learned about undertones, and my skin is yellow/warm-toned af, so take that, Mrs. Johnson.

The moral of the story is: if a seven-year-old can color brown people, so can you.

Part of me says to delete the post because honestly, I’m tired of arguing with people. The fact of the matter is: if you draw characters that canonically have brown/tan skin, keep their skin brown/tan in your art. That’s it.

All of the artists in this fandom are extremely talented and I can’t take that away from you. Just please look up tutorials on how to color characters with brown skin.

“Just a doodle” that perfectly captures Lucifer being tired and wistful and also beautiful and basically encapsulates the whole character. I love your watercolors!

Just a doodle again 😚👍

Also, from my experience with Jewish friends:

Going over to the grandparents’ house, finding an old bottle of Manischewitz that hasn’t been opened in five years, discovering that it tastes like sweet gym socks, drinking it all anyway, and having the worst goddamn hangover since that one time you thought mixing everclear and Gatorade was a good idea.

december 1st! the first day of

not drawing jewish characters in christmas sweaters and honoring canon jewish characters and jewish headcanons by drawing them in hannukah sweaters with menorahs and blue and white instead of christmas sweaters and pine trees and red and green

My guinea pigs will not sit still for anything in heaven or earth. My best shots are when I bribe them with food. Behold:

Rat photoshoots are hard omgosh

I really like this art style a lot. It seems, I dunno, Symbolist in execution?

And yes I will go shopping for heels with my Luci.

a concept i’d like you to consider: lucifer in his normal outfit, but with heels.

Well I am also An Old who plays Obey Me, so I’m glad my fellow old humans are playing, I guess.

(he’s a math teacher, you know he’s a Mammon stan, he’s gonna calculate that grimm)

yall know how obey me gives the notifications for beel’s fridge thing at 12 and 6pm??? so im in math class at 12, and the teacher is on his ipad showing us an equation or sum shit and im not paying attention, im reading a fanfic. i look over at my phone, its just the obey me notif, but i look up at my computer to my teacher whos STILL SHARING HIS SCREEN and what shows up????

a notification for obey me.

on his ipad screen.

im fucking screaming

my math teacher plays obey me

what the fuck

If Elliot Page isn’t Sexiest Man Alive 2021 I will cut a bitch.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Yes yes which of the brothers with abs that cut steel is the flabbiest?

(I ask, as I stuff another piece of pizza into my gaping maw)

I'm taking a hit out on Satan for the sheer DISRESPECT

English is the language that beats up other languages in the locker room and steals their lunch money vocabulary and grammar

Y’all like pickle chicken? I’ll give y’all pickle chicken. AutomaticTastemakerTheorist’s homemade Nashville hot chicken:

You’ll need a pound of chicken (I buy the tenderloins, but breast works too, just cut it into strips). Marinate in pickle juice and a dash of hot sauce for a couple hours.

Make your dunkin’ juice: 2 cups buttermilk, 3 eggs, pickle juice to taste (start with a couple tbsp), Crystal hot sauce to taste (I use like half a bottle, because I like it hot), and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Dunk your chicken like its name is Lebowski and it owes you money. Roll it in flour. Dunk it again. Roll in flour again. Let it sit for about 15 minutes.

Fry it up - I use an air fryer, but vegetable oil on the stove works too.

Make your sauce: 6 tbsp cayenne pepper, 2 tbsp brown sugar, 1 tsp garlic salt, 1 tsp chili powder, 1 tsp paprika, mixed up in about half a cup of olive oil.

Toss the fried chicken in the sauce. Serve on Wonderbread with pickle slices. 

Use your leftover dunkin’ juice and flour to fry up some sliced okra. Your tastebuds will thank you. Your arteries, not so much.

Yes, Chick-fil-A’s Foundation Still Donates to Anti-LGBTQ Causes

Plus, Utah’s pickle-based dessert, and other news to start your day

Memo To The Media: Chick-fil-A Condemns, Discriminates, And Campaigns Against LGBT People

https://thinkprogress.org/memo-to-the-media-chick-fil-a-condemns-discriminates-and-campaigns-against-lgbt-people-3e2dbb7b8056/

Fuck them for sure.

*cranks that Carrie Underwood*

TWO BLACK CADILLACS

DRIVING IN A SLOW PARADE

YEAH THEY TOOK TURNS THROWING A ROSE DOWN

THREW A HANDFUL OF DIRT INTO THE COLD GROUND

HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A SECRET TO HIIIIIIIIIDE

exuding severe "my husband has died under suspicious circumstances and now, i, the poor grieving widow, have to attend his funeral" vibes

Well, damn. As someone who is also independent af (and has gotten dumped for “not needing [the person] enough”, who was raised by a mom who told me not to rely on any “shitty fucking boys”, I can appreciate that.

Don’t you dare make me a Barbatos stan.

Don’t --

Aw, fuck. You did it.

You know whats sexy? Barbatos. Barbatos is sexy. You know how?

Because hes the type of man that could care so deeply about you but is still so fiercely independent. He doesnt need you. He wants you. And to be wanted by someone is the best feeling. He'd make you feel save and ache for more, tease you and leave you yearning.

But above all else, he would never lose himself and what he stands for, for someone, and that, to me, is sexy as hell.

My feelings for Diavolo are complicated, ok? I just want to be in a Lucifer/Mammon sandwich to appease my Id and Superego at the same time. Can’t I just live???

Template shamelessly stolen from @oheyfox​

I’m impressed! Your linework is much cleaner, with a more defined structure. Colors are blended well and I can tell you’ve thought about the lighting and shadow. I’m so excited to see what you do in the future!

Wanted to redraw some old art and see how much I improved so be my judge! How'd I do?

Art on left is 2-3 years old while art on right is recent

I’ve been a prosecutor for as long as I’ve been an attorney. Nowadays, I prosecute child sexual exploitation, and I don’t feel bad at all for the motherfuckers I bury under the jail. 

But are cops bastards? Yes. I can tell you fucking stories of the times I got into screaming, cursing matches with police that I thought were doing a bad job and they didn’t like that I wouldn’t back them up. I can tell you that when I first started in a rural Southern county, the Sheriff told me, “well, I figured they’d hire a n------ or a woman”. I can tell you about my colleague, a Black woman who was a prosecutor, who got pulled over on her way to work multiple times because she was being profiled by the cops she saw in court every day.

Is the criminal justice system broken as fuck? Yes. I hated sending people to prison for drug crimes especially, because hell, if I got caught doing drugs in college, maybe I’d be in the same place. It fucks with you. That’s why I went to the sex offense work, it’s gross and awful and psychologically taxing, but I don’t have to wonder whether I’m prosecuting a victimless crime. I can feel like I’m protecting people instead of persecuting them. And my defendants are mostly white dudes, so my white privilege is a little bit lessened there.

Am I a bastard? Yes but I am a recreational bastard and I would like to be recognized for the hard work I’ve put in to be a bastard in my private life, thank you.

some people need to realize that acab means all cops and  not american cops 

Shit, I’ve been there. Anon, you’re not alone. Please DM the account above (or hell, DM me, I’m usually drunk but pretty nice)

Also, best thing for me when I was in that headspace? Find something you feel strongly about. Love bad reality tv dating shows? Hate the Kardashians? Find someone else who feels the same way and just start talking. My best friendships, the ones who have pulled me out of my deepest holes, have come from shit-talking local politicians we hate (and in one instance, from being equally obsessed with the terrible Flavor Of Love series). And it went from hating/liking the same thing to talking about other things, and being friends, and caring about each other.

hi... im really sorry, but i'm completely alone and am really struggling to find a reason to live... could you maybe do a one note one day post? if not i totally understand

omg ofc

everyone pls boost this

also if you ever need someone to talk to you can dm me

@one-note-for-one-day @one-note-one-day