Latest Posts by automatictastemakertheorist - Page 2

I have so many questions.

Does the author think boobs are like testicles, and they get all wrinkly and drawn in if it’s cold? Is sperm stored in the boob?

Do Madeline’s nipples also get droopy, like sad puppy dog eyes?

Speaking of puppies, can she wag her titties when she’s happy?

Does she have sad day bras and happy day bras? Did she throw out all her push-up bras and buy a Patton Oswalt album to listen to before a hot date?

Why are men?

I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage

me: *gets depressed*

my breasts:

Lucifer knows he’s a G6, and I ain’t gonna trade him in for a Nissan.

I love me a (pea)cocky boi.

this was kinda hot tho ngl

Modest proposal: we let the billionaires keep their obscene tax cuts, but in exchange we guillotine one for the Super Bowl halftime show every year.

I’ll join you! We are gonna throw down like we are ho-testants on trashy reality TV

MADDI MEET ME @ THE DENNYS PARKING LOT! YOU'RE 'BOUT TO CATCH THESE HANDS 👐👐👐😤

Beel: who's on dinner duty tonight?

Satan: that would be mammon.

Satan: he should be here right about-

Mammon, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: GUESS WHAT WE'RE HAVING FOR DINNER

Reblogging for the important questions:

Why do you look so good in dark lipstick when I always look like a drunk goth teenager, it is not fair.

If I could grow a moustache, would I ever leave the house in anything but that handlebar do? (the answer is no)

I feel like I have a lot of privilege being afab and genderfluid, because that’s sort of accepted as being tomboyish or gamine. I love seeing more people break out of gender roles and rocking their authentic selves.

Website I Twitter I Patreon

Once again, thank you everyone for reading, enjoying, and sharing this comic.  Not just sharing in the sense of re-posting this comic, (which you should totally do) but also sharing your stories with me, letting my know how my comics have touched you.  It means so much to me.  Love ya! Stay tuned for more comics! <3

I’m drinking and tired of politics, so let’s do this.

Nickname: I always go by Nikki, which is the short form of my middle name. My mother named me Whitney specifically so I wouldn’t get a nickname, but my dad decided that since he was Ricky, it would be cute to have a kid whose name rhymed with his.

Zodiac: Cancer, the crybaby bitch of the zodiac meme pages.

Height: 5′2″ but I refuse to leave the house without heels so TAKE THAT NATURE.

Hogwarts: Gryffindor forever.

Song stuck in my head: “Save Your Tears” - The Weeknd

Number of followers: Fuck if I know, my fragile ego won’t let me look.

Amount of sleep: Not more than 4 hours at a time, but I usually get two or so blocks of sleep so I guess it adds up.

Lucky number: I don’t know, I usually play 20 when I play roulette.

Dream job: Independently wealthy guinea pig trainer.

Wearing: My fluffy bathrobe I haven’t washed in several weeks so it smells like my dogs who use it as a bed when I’m out of the house (I’m sexy).

Favorite instrument: Played the piano as a kid, sucked ass at it, but still love a good Satie bop.

Aesthetic: Dark academia or bubble goth, depending on how drunk I am.

Favorite author: I usually read nonfiction, but I own basically the entire collection of Mary Roach’s books.

Favorite animal noise: When guinea pigs hear a bag crinkle and they go whee whee whee

Random: My past jobs have included tanning salon manager, sex ed teacher, math tutor, DMV clerk, and staff writer at a newspaper.

17 Questions 17 People

Tagged by: @emilycollins00 !! (>♡<)

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Nickname: I actually have, lots of them;;; my name is not much of a nicknamable one (Ray) but I have been called Mal (it was a typo but then it stuck lol), I am used to being called Kitten/Kitty and also I love when you guys give me nicknames in here such as Honeybee! Other nicknames include: demon, angel, beauty, mallow, bee, tiger, etc etc etc ^^;;

Zodiac: Leo ♌

Height: I haven't measured in years but since I'm quite taller than my mom and she is 1,57 meters and have been taller than some people at 1,60 meters, I supose I pass the 1,63+ meters line.

Hogwarts: everytime I do a quiz it gives me Gryffindor so that's that-

Song stuck in my head: Traumerei to Kuhaku

Number of followers: currently a bit over 1,600

Amount of sleep: I try to get 8 but then my body says

And I get 5 instead. I force myself to sleep 3 more hours or so but it's always with a bit of waking up from time to time.

Lucky number: 3

Dream job: I have no dream job, my full time wish is just to get enough money to spend on what I like and to my own happiness.

Wearing: the most used sweater I have that I refuse to give away no matter how old it is, pajama pants and one of my knee high striped socks.

Favorite instrument: Violin

Aesthetic: hmmm, I'm not really sure! Any aesthetic I use for something is used to match whatever mood I am trying to give or just something that looks good.

Favorite author: myself lol

Favorite animal noise: any bird noises are my favorite noises even if it is them screaming at 2am.

Random: I once tried to impress my crush by doing a high kick with flip flops and the one that was on the foot I used ended up on my house's roof.

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Honestly the only person that comes to mind is @jae-tries-writting-stuff but there is no pressure! And it would be fun if others did it too! I would like to know about you guys if possible! I really find everyone really interesting and just want to know about silly things-

My sexual orientation is bloody Lucifer and bloody Lucifer only

5I lucifer

Why is everyone a mess around here? Someone get Barbatos, quick.

If you know, you know.

Oooh! Me!

I will climb that man like a tree

Simeon: Have you seen MC?

Lucifer: [Moves his coat to reveal MC clinging onto him]

Lucifer: Help me.

Look I'm not saying Ayme Miura is now my favorite person in world all I'm saying is that he is so. damn. close

Oh no, honey, this is BLESSED.

I’m taking him home and we’re going to play Fire Emblem until we murder each other over whether we’re team Black Eagles or Golden Deer (Black Eagles come fight me)

@automatictastemakertheorist asked if I could make the boys as rats and I tried, but when I finished Levi- I just gave up because it's so cursed to me 🤣

Draw! The! Boys! As! Rats!

That is all, plzkthx.

What if Mammon had an albino rat?

I had a name for the rat, but then I realized it was sort of racist-

I actually like these! You could add brush strokes/texture or something like that and it would be an Impressionist Obey Me!

Today I hope to give you nightmares so may I present... my art without lineart 😌

And if you’re really worried about stress eating or being unhealthy during the pandemic, you can do better things than shit yourself silly after drinking whatever diet tea you saw on Instagram. Besides the fact that they don’t work, a lot of diet programs you find on social media will either harm you (because they’re extremely restrictive or call for taking some unregulated supplement containing hell knows what) or your wallet (because when you order a program they’ll steal your credit card number or sign you up for some autoship mess).

Go for a walk, do some yoga, play with a dog, make something healthy but tasty, like an omelet with veggies or pancakes with fruit (yeah, I love breakfast food, come at me bro). Doing these things might not even make you lose weight, but they will make you feel good.

Or engage in my favorite form of self care, dousing yourself in Vaseline and sliming around the floor while you play at being a slug.

You don’t owe it to anybody, at any time, and especially not during a global pandemic, to be a certain size or shape. You are making it through an unprecedented disaster and that makes you a certified fucking badass.

I love you all and I support you in doing whatever you gotta do, you rock star.

Diet companies will be hitting hard this year. Be prepared to hear repeated sentiments of “It’s time to get rid of that Quarantine 15” and “In these hard times, commit to taking care of yourself with healthy living and weight loss.”

This rhetoric is going to be everywhere. And due to the nature of modern advertising, the vast majority of it will be coming from people online who just look like they’re trying to share some good advice with the followers that they love so much. You’ll barely be able to see the money getting thrown at them from the weight loss industry.

Don’t reward them for using these manipulation techniques - Buying their products and losing weight isn’t going to make your year any better, or erase the stress of the pandemic, or be the first step in self-care.

Please please please see these ads for what they are - A way of preying on your insecurity and trauma in order to make money.

Look, I don’t know about the Devildom, but up here in the human world, I have rights.

And I will worship whatever abs I want.

Barbatos's abs supremacy

Sigh

Please do not make a group worshiping my abs

Me listening to Lucifer going “hmm hmm hmm”

I actually love this a lot. The little pursed lips, both in this drawing and the original card, make me laugh my ass off and I don’t know why. I just spent ten minutes trying to make this face in the mirror.

Shitty attempt on "why do people love cats" Satan

Oh hey this is me IRL.

MysMe and OM MC in a nutshell

MC: Am I about to make a terrible decision? Yes.

MC: Will I regret said decision? Probably.

MC: Am I still gonna do it? Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, I am.

MC: Because I'm an idiot!

Hello fellow linguist! What do you think Demonic would look/sound like? I imagine it’s some kind of Greek/Latin/Aramaic bastard child. Maybe it’s the language of the Voynich Manuscript?

Let’s. Make. This. Happen.

My biggest issue with Obey Me is that there is supposedly a full alphabet for the Devildom (and quite possibly a language by extension) and it is mentioned like. Once.

I would absolutely love to see exchanges like:

Mammon: Hey, MC, can you pass me that?

MC: Pass what?

Mammon: You know the... the dry sauce!

MC: ???

Mammon: UGH stupid human language. The [D̴̞͂ȩ̶̐m̵̰̝̼̾ơ̶̢̰̜̿̇̓n̴̪͂͌͒i̸̥̰͇̹͑̏c̸̲͚̉͋ ̵̹̈́ś̵͙͚͓͗̃̍c̴̼̊̇͐̕r̴̺̳̆͠e̶̺̬̜̪̎e̵͇̱͕͛̓͘č̶͈h̶̬̬͐͑̔i̷͇̒̃̕n̷̯̄g̷̻̍̄́́]

MC:

Asmo: Oh, he means the salt

Mammon: YES, THANK YOU

Sorry Diavolo, I’m gonna be your stepmom. Go clean your room, Daddy and I need to have a grownup conversation.

Some Self-Indulgent Young Demon King Doodle~ 

(you must read this book, it is not optional)

sometimes the notification box on posts forgets how to be a functional element of a web page and just starts cramming actual posts from my blog into itself, engulfing the notes and eating them alive i guess

Ok let’s say all kids who want to go to college decide to join the military.

What y’all gonna do with all the kids with depression, or ADHD, or physical disabilities? They usually can’t enlist without a medical waiver, so what? You can’t go to college because you were born wrong, oops.

And what y’all gonna do when you have to train, arm, feed, and pay the salaries of millions of additional troops? And then pay for their college on top of that? Why don’t you save money and cut out the middle part, and just pay for the college?

Are y’all still gonna bitch about how China outpaces us in education and we don’t have a strong educated workforce, but you don’t want people to go to college unless they’re willing to get shot? Y’all gonna pretend this is a matter of “econ 101″ when you apparently didn’t sit through economics long enough to learn what a positive externality is?

It’s almost like conservatives react purely out of the spiteful attitude that “I had to pay for college/health care and it was hard for me, so everyone else must have to suffer as well.”

(edit: and I say this as someone with $200k debt from grad/law schools, and who would be fucking thrilled to see everyone younger than me go to school for free, and I’ll rant about that all day)

Holy shit this is a big mood.

(hi anxiety friend want to share unhealthy coping mechanisms under a weighted blanket sometime?)

No, YOU live in a society. I live in between scenarios I made up about Obey Me: SWD in order to fall asleep and escape my debilitating anxiety

I feel like I need to bring this post to my therapist so we can work out why I am solely attracted to moody daddies.

Oh no, they’d get along perfectly. If anything, Lucifer comes to him for advice.

Lucifer: I like someone what should I do?

Jumin: Hmm, have you considered locking them away? A cage would be preferred—

Lucifer: *taking notes* ...And of course, I don’t embrace my feelings. I let this emotion fester and die.

Jumin: *nods* Obviously.

oh god, they bond over wine and music and then bounce ideas off of each other on how to deal with emotions without actually dealing with them 💀

Satan! How dare you! It completely ruins the book when you snap its spine! You. Are. A. Monster.

...Where is my fainting couch?

Satan: What's the difference between a child and a book?

Lucifer: *sigh* What is it now?

Satan: One doesn't scream when I snap it's spine.

Unbothered MC

When I get yelled at by opposing counsel, I just stare blankly at them and say “okay” repeatedly til they feel stupid. It’s amazing would recommend 10/10.

You know that in-game scene where we danced with Lucifer in his demon form and he almost crushed our hand? Well, if there was an in-game option, I would've kicked him in his groin for threatening me & almost breaking my hand :p

YES!

I was wondering why the options were so tame 😭

Like where’s the option to pick a fight 🤣

Destroy his pride by destroying his ability to produce kids-

All their tiddies are bigger than mine ;_; but they could maybe wear one of my big sleep shirts for failed political campaigns that I get from thrift stores?

Mammon in a Perot/Choate 1996 shirt would be on brand af, I guess.

(also literally every time my husband - a foot taller and 120 lbs heavier than me - buys me clothes, he insists on going to the register by himself and asking the cashier how they think he’d look in the outfit. Send help plz)

You remember that trend where your favorite character wears your clothes?

He's trying to cover his tiddies, I don't know if that's clear

I’m bi and probably not 100% the target demographic, but it doesn’t necessarily bother me that there aren’t dateable ladies in the game. I can play Arcana to hang out with my big tiddy GF Portia, I don’t need every game to cater to everything I like. That being said, we hear about other female characters in passing - witches other than Maddi, I think some succubi maybe? I think it would be cool to develop some characters like that in-game. Maybe an older witch gives us some lessons in magic, or we take Luke to hang out with Madame Scream to make some macarons, or team up with a succubus to prank Asmo, or maybe we go find the little girl Mammon takes care of in the human world and take her on a playdate with Little D. No. 2? Even if they’re not big characters, it would flesh out the world and be a good foil to the main characters we’re romancing (or adopting, in the case of Luke lol).

okay i'm gonna say it. to have one of the only female characters that appear in the game dead and the other, Maddi, who is a human witch, be obsessive and make most of the characters uncomfortable on multiple occasions does not look all too good for the game. just because it is an otome game does not mean that there can't be any female characters portrayed in a good light. i've had a problem with this for a while but didn't really say anything about it since it is an otome game after all, and i felt like as a queer (lesbian, nb) fan i have never been their target demographic to begin with.

i just felt like finally saying something since i haven't really seen anyone talk about it.

Self-defense idea: get a big chrome grill with sharp gemstones for extra biting power

(edit I think the gif depicts blinged-out braces, but I can confirm from experience that those bitches are sharp)

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary: