automatictastemakertheorist

Latest Posts by automatictastemakertheorist

ONE MORE DAY

You can only reblog this on 14th march

I’m from the same part of NC and I agree

I WILL END YOU IF YOU USE CHICKEN BREAST FOR CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS

DON’T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT

Grandma poison water SNAPPED

This message is for the late night scrollers, the ones who prowl Tumblr late at night for an escape. Looking for those fics that hit just right, that take away the hurt and make you feel like your comfort character is there, beside you, holding you, loving you.

Take a deep breath for me, in and out. They're there. Can you feel them? They know you struggled today and they're so proud of you! They're so happy to see you even if it's only in the dark, when you're hurting, when you need an escape. They treasure these moments with you, breathing in your scent, feeling you. God, how they love you.

I hope you find the story you need. The one that brings you comfort and peace that follows you into your dreams. I hope tomorrow is better then today and that you remember you are loved, even if the only love you can feel is from that fictional character you adore so much.

They believe in you and so do I, the random girl on Tumblr who's scrolling late at night too.

They didn’t specify positive qualities lol, time to use self deprecating humor that makes everyone uncomfortable!

Someone: "What are your qualities?"

Me: o_O

Me: "Y'all have these?"

You can pry my Picrew out of my cold dead hands.

Cold.

Dead.

Hands.

(Picrew me has had enough of your bullshit)

i know people are calling picrews cringe and all but i can not hate the simple joy of making and dressing up a little cartoon person and then looking at it and going “it’s me! :D”

One of my relatives always gives me a box of pears for Christmas. Like, a wooden box done up with a bow and fancy paper stuffing, and there’s just like four big-ass pears sitting in there. Apparently it’s supposed to be a posh gift, like a pineapple. Which, fun fact: in early America, you could rent pineapples to show off at parties.

Southern people are weird about fruit that we can’t deep fry, y’all.

genuine question: where do people get pears??? i literally have never seen one in person. as a kid i thought they were made up for animal crossing, like persimmons

i dont know how to tell you this but persimmons are also real

Can you imagine how much fun it would be to take a baseball bat to a giant fucking sea cucumber and just watch it go

GOOSH SPLAT

And then it panics and ejects its guts at you and you just keep beating it

GOOSH GOOSH GOOSH

I'm really mad about the fact that in the new event the brothers didn't let me fight against that fucking giant sea cucumber and just told me to stay away from it, they even told Solomon to fight, but not ME?! 😤 I'm so indignated right now I am not kidding 😡

Raphael is about to see some gangsta shit, ngl

I dare you. I double dare you.

Literally what happens every time my dog sees himself in the mirror.

MIRROR DOG WON’T PLAY WTF

Mammon: [screaming]

MC: What happened?

Asmo: I don't know, I think he saw himself in the mirror

Mammon: ASMO THERE'S ANOTHER ME ON THE WALL

Asmo: It's okay Mammon. Just introduce yourself, I'm sure he's nice!

This is a great idea! I’m going to have to whip out the eyeshadows that have been gathering dust all quarantine and try some lewks.

oh boy. i went w/ lucifer first and i’m rly anxious abt this. if this flops i’m gonna cry and just cancel the rest of the series cuz my anxiety is so bad rn. anyway, here’s the lewk. it turned out not as i wanted it to, but it doesn’t look horrible ?? idk lmao also did a closeup of the eye look cuz i like it. ignore my shitty drawn on brows, i was in a rush and they’re hidden by my bangs anyway. i’m rly bad at taking selfie’s and the lighting in my room is shit anyway. i’m just typing more shit to procrastinate on posting this but i better post it before i chicken out

I just started this game and when MC was about to throw hands with Toa’s fan club...

YASSSSSSS

Once again one of the best things of court of darkness is the MC 😌👆

she really said we ain't doing no damsel in distress , I got you too 🤧👏👏

I swear to Diavolo I will set my own hair on fire if this man and his doggo come save me.

Remember fellow demons, fire safety is important! That's why the Devildom Fire Station has instituted a canine training program to better protect you and yours. Would you trust three-headed dalmatians (and their handlers) to come to your rescue?

Barbatos is [here]

Mammon is [here]

💜✨commission info✨ 💜

I assume they are talking about the Vesper necklace from Crave, which vibrates (although I don’t know how well it functions as an actual vibrator):

However, I think it also looks a lot like this necklace which I happen to own and can confirm does not operate as a sex toy:

Geometric jewelry like that was very on trend a couple years ago, so I’ve got a couple things like that. Not sure why you wouldn’t be able to find other examples (answer: the vibrator necklace is funnier).

BiTcH wHaT

Please come to Dragoncon this year (assuming we can all get vaccinated and such)!

And all the Obey Me cosplayers! Pleeeeeease don’t make me beg. It’s a very unbecoming look for an adult woman.

I think about the brothers' fall a lot

Bonus:

Is this the time to admit that I dropped a pat of butter on the ground tonight and still used it to cook dinner?

I washed the dirt off of it I promise?

Beelzebub is adorable and is holding my heart hostage, but no one can tell me he wouldn't eat something he just dropped on the ground

Second only to Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I was delightfully traumatized by such art as:

This is one of my favorite childhood stories.

Y’all know the Bermuda Triangle?

Everyone who got lost there disrespected pronouns in front of Dolly.

You can’t prove me wrong.

Sometimes when I had a student intern, I’d bring them to court and let them sit at the counsel table with me to help me run exhibits/give me documents and such. I would often lean over and ask things like, “so, what question would you ask next?” or “is that question objectionable?” as a learning exercise.

But I’m glad I never had a private client, because looking at it from the outside, it 100 percent would have looked like I was pulling a Phoenix Wright.

If you claim to hate cats and can’t stand them but as soon as you see one you go “pssst pssst here kitty boo boo who’s a baby?”

You are not controlling.

You are just my dad.

(will you send me some money?)

hey so, as a man who works with other men, here’s a quick relationship tip: if he doesn’t much like cats, that might be just a personal preference. if he hates cats, if he tells you he hates cats as soon as he hears that you have a cat and love your cat, he’s an asshole. he’s telling on himself.  

every guy i’ve ever worked with that makes a point of telling me how much he hates cats as soon as i mention that i have a cat and love my cat, is always someone who is regularly cruel for fun and who laughs in the breakroom about the mean things they do for fun to their girlfriends and children. 

Lucifer and I share the same philosophy.

“Hell is other people.”

Luci... Hunny... You mean to tell me that staying in one room in the human world with your 6 brothers and myself is hell when you live in the Devildom? Like... actual HELL

An overwhelming hunger for the flesh of the rich.

what emotion does this piece of furniture evoke in you

OH MY GOD THE NOSTALGIA

Sesshomaru was legit one of the first anime boys I simped for.

SESSHOMARU ☽ 殺生丸

I’m sure that there is a demon somewhere who is the Avatar of Florida Man, and he is smiling at this post from hell.

Also, the guy who ran the McMillions scam, Jerry Colombo, literally opened a “Church of the Fuzzy Bunny” in South Carolina which was literally a strip club, so Asmodeus clearly has a simp here on earth (which he apparently shares with Mammon, since Colombo loved him a scam).

om! boys as florida man headlines

now datables + luke here

Lucifer

Mammon

Leviathan

Satan

Asmodeus

Beelzebub

Belphegor

Nah, it’s cool, in the year 2021 he’s an upper middle class white guy named Seightynn.

real subtle, guys

Let’s say, hypothetically, I am madly in love with Gritty and Gritney. And maybe I want to be in a Grit sandwich. Are they related? Would that be icky? Or are they just the same species?

I’m asking for hypothetical reasons.

Hypothetically.

Apparently there's a gritney now?

riotrogers from twitter made the gritney costume and it's honestly amazing.

Look, I love me some spicy East Asian cuisine.

However.

I’m from the Carolinas, spent several years living in Louisiana, and therefore did not agree with the options the game presented. Any Obey Me fans who want to try something approaching devildom spice need to try:

Carolina Reaper in just about anything - it doesn’t have much flavor on its own, just shitloads of heat. I’d mix it up in a vinegar-based BBQ sauce and toss pulled pork in it, and you can cut the heat with applesauce if it’s too much. Actually, ema datshi with reaper or ghost pepper would be pretty good, I should try to make that.

Nashville chicken - ramp up the cayenne: brown sugar ratio for extra spice.

Gumbo, jambalaya, boudin sausage, or manque choux - again, you’re gonna be drowning your recipe with cayenne to make it spicy, and you can throw in a ghost pepper or Carolina Reaper if you want.

Just remember to wear gloves when you slice your peppers.

Okay when we give Mammon the Valentine’s chocolates and he’s like, “you aren’t gonna say something hurtful now, right? Like, pass these on to Levi for me?”

I. DIED.

Baby I could never -

MC: I love you.

Mammon: ... You promise?

I cannot have children because I envisage the following conversation between myself and their teacher:

Teacher: Little Zeke called Little Polly a “goatfucking twatface” today, do you know where they learned that?

Me: Well, was the bitch playing like a goatfucking twatface? I don’t know what your fucking problem is.

if my son is stealing pies off windowsills its because i taught him to do that bitch 

First of all this is beautiful.

Second of all my first thought was “oh hey it’s Bruise-ifer” and I am going to joke hell now, ok bye.

Some fallen lucifer :( this was greatly inspired by the song 'Saints' by Echos - and by inspired I mean I listen to only that song while I was making this because it just fit the mood for me.

If you don’t listen to this song to hype yourself up before a run

We.

Are.

Not.

Friends.