Playing the lyre has got to be the hottest thing I’ve ever done.
Picking up maidens and shit everywhere I go. They flash me their ankles and bust their bosoms in my direction when I spit those bars of poetry as I pluck the strings of my instrument
If I were stuck in a haunted house and I was with a serial killer, you’d best know I’d cling to that serial killer for dear life to protect me from those monsters and shit
Wife reveal guys
“it’s starting to smell like pumpkin spice!”
“it’s starting to smell like scary movies!”
no.
it’s starting to smell like, the snow in the mountains was melting and bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to realize the gravity of our situation.
My fatass cat if you even care
Now the people “carrying” tiktok will be British people. Which is doom because we all know British people are lifelessly unfunny. Canadians better step up
I miss how easy murder was back in the day
girls don’t want boyfriends, girls want their fatal flaw, a morbid longing for the picturesque, to cause them to snap because “what could be more terrifying and beautiful to souls like the Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely?”
Let’s have another Boston Tea Party, but instead of dumping tea, we start kidnapping CEOs and making them walk the plank like the pirate days