But So Many People Would Lose The Angst/pity Points! 😏

The Pledge of Allegiance was literally made up in 1890 as a marketing slogan for a campaign to sell flags

We make children swear loyalty to America by reciting the nationalistic equivalent of “O-o-o, O’Reilly, O’Reilly, auto parts” and that’s honestly the most American thing I can possibly imagine

If I wasn't already following you...

An atheist dies and goes to hell.

Keep reading

When you discover that these two:

Were married in Love Actually

Au where @narwhalsarefalling is annoying Narwhalsaregalling

Au where @narwhalsarefalling just wants to fuckin fight ppl Narwhalsarebrawling

Just found out I'm (slightly) younger than John Green, so I figure it's ok for me to be here. Just don't expect me to act my age. Whatever that means.

Every Monday I realize how much EVERYONE is just living for the weekend. I need a goddamn nap.