Latest Posts by brilious - Page 2

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Damian: *walks into Tim's room. Turns off all the lights and knocks his water bottle off his dresser. Then walks out*

Dick: Awww... he likes you!

Tim: I hate this fucking family.

Hands: a batfam drabble

While the eyes may be the window to the soul, but Tim fully believes the hands are more significant. Your hands show your journey, where you've been. Tim familiarized himself with the hands of the people around him.

Damian’s handsp are small. Chubby. But deceptively hardened. Callouses wrap around his little brothers hands, telling of long, laborious days. But those little hands create amazing things. Colorful paintings and sculptures Tim can't even dream up.

Dick has strong hands. His callouses are older. Small scars across his knuckles tell of conflict, fighting. But those strong hands radiate endurance and hope. The strength that only an acrobat can have. Tim knows his strength runs deeper than his hands, it's a bone-deep essential part of his brother.

Jason has scarred hands. Thick ridges criss cross his fingers. Once upon a time those hands had been split open, blood falling onto splintered wood and expensive satin and dirt. Now those hands cook dinner for his family when it's Jason’s turn to host movie night

Cass' hands are dangerous. Lithe and quick. Before you could blink those hands would have you pinned to the ground. They move like a fleeting shadow, but also like a dancing butterfly. Those hands flit about as Cass twirls and dances. They seem to float around her. She looks like a fairy, circled by two bright butterflies.

Tim is not sure what his hands tell. He's not sure he ever wants to discover that. The secrets that are contained with one's hands are special and precious to him. So he hides his hands. Crossed together, behind his back, swaddled in hoodie pockets. No matter what his hands stay hidden, along with the secrets they contain.

⭐Prompt list⭐

Because I have writers block and need recommendations!

A) Chandeliers

B) Amazon driver

C) Fight

D) Sickness

E) Zoo

F) Cookies

G) Office

H) Migraine

I) Coffee

J) Ducks

K) Angst

L) Art

M) Holiday

Ok, but like...

Damian being a stabby murder baby, BUT ALSO the quirky art kid.

Everyone at his school (he goes to in-person school, sue me) is TERRIFIED of him, and rightfully so.

One time he stabbed a classmate with a paintbrush after they knocked into his art table and spilled his paint across his canvas. Do you know how hard it is to stab someone with s paintbrush?

NO ONE goes into Damian’s art studio (except for Alfred because he runs the manor). Tim goes looking for the belongings that Damian steals from him in the studio. He comes out with nasty bruises every time.

But the thing is, Damian creates the most beautiful things! The rest family is astounded by what can create. How can Mr.Iwillstabyouifyoulookatmewrong paint such an elegant recreation of Titus' face!?

Everyone eventually stops questioning it.

My brother: explaining Fortnite for the 50th time.

Me: confused af, but happy to have a conversation that doesn't involve arguing.

Him: You get what I'm saying.

Me: Absolutely not, but I'm happy you're happy bud.

Okay, but like...

Jason loves to mess with his siblings. That not particularly unique, as most siblings love to annoy each other. Only difference is that Jason is a little shit. Most of his "jokes" involve property damage.

One time he put Tim’s laptop into jello (he watches the office, sue me). Tim loaded all his guns with jolly ranchers in return.

Damian’s katana has been mutilated by Jason several times. It's always washable, but annoying all the same. A perfect example of this is the 'Syrup Incident' in which Jason coated everyone’s favorite weapons in syrup. Dick's sparky sticks were actually damaged by that prank....

The only one who rivals Jason in property damge has got to be Steph. I mean, come one, it's Steph.

I love how everyone has weird nicknames for Tim. Point in case: Timberly

“wow it must suck being the only teen titans member without superpowers”

tim drake, with an unlimited number of memes: “are u kidding”

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Damian: *gasp* I lost all my progress on Cheese Vikings!

Tim: You're displaying more emotion than you did when I was shot.

Damian: Of course I did, it's Cheese Vikings you uncultured swine.

Second night in a row! Fucking Mandela Cataloge.

It like 10:40 and my brain is like "hey remember the face of the category 2 Alternates in the Mandela Cataloge"...

@oliveid

It like 10:40 and my brain is like "hey remember the face of the category 2 Alternates in the Mandela Cataloge"...

@oliveid

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Tim: *in a heated debate with steph* it's so boring! Dead children, dead children, dead children, nobody cares! Walton files is so much better!

Jason: what the fuck did I just walk into.

@oliveid

Ok, but like...

There's "danger zones" in Wayne Manor.

These are areas where watching for falling objects, dangerous projectiles, murderous vigilante baby, and a plethora of other hazards.

For example, the main foyer is a danger zones.

Dick, with his acrobatic tendencies, has broken over 23 chandeliers. Thankfully, he's never been hurt. He just hangs on the chandeliers and tends to loosen them. Then tend to fall later, when unexpecting people are walking underneath. Jason has dubbed it the "phantom chamber" in lieu of the falling chandelier in phantom of the opera.

Damian’s room is also a danger zone. For obvious reasons.

Bee🐝

Oh no

Our table

It's broken

“well, the table broke 🤷🏻”

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Damian:*teases Tim about something stupid*

Tim: Hey Jay, can you tell Damian that he's being illogical.

Jason: sure. DAMIAN, DON'T BE A DICK!

Dick: I resent that...

Part 2 of Batfam Nerf War

Scroll down for part 1. It's not far.

Previously: Tim then builds a team...

The "Tim team" consists of Steph, Duke (reluctantly), and Cass.

It starts out with the four of them ambushing Jason as random times. At one point, Jason has to restrain himself from pulling a real gun on Steph. She has her guns loaded with glitter as a "artistic addition".

Jason eventually loses it and recruits the "big guns". He promises Dick a hug and cashes out a favor from Damian.

The group spends about a week ambushing each other (Tim usually concocted unusually complicated traps). Until Dick's gun malfunctions and accidentally fires on Damian. The teams split into three, the four....

By next week the manor becomes the battle ground of a no-holds free-for-all nerf war.

God help poor Alfred.

Imagine nerf darts, glitter, and batarangs scattered all around the mansion. Alfred just following behind and cleaning up the "bat tornado aftermath".

Somehow, Bruce is completely oblivious to the destruction his children are causing. "It just a harmless game Alfred". Bruce is lucky Alfred loves him.

I'll write part 3 when I'm motivated.

Of course I would like a tag 😊

Oh no

Our table

It's broken

“well, the table broke 🤷🏻”

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Dick: *walks outside without a coat in the middle of winter* oshabooshabrrrrr

Tim: did you just... what the hell was that?

Dick: it's cold...

Tim: and your first reaction is "oshabooshabrrr"?

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Jason: Pass me the blueberry jelly

Damian: *picks up jar and scoops the rest of the jelly out onto his eggs*

Damian: sorry, it's all gone

...

Jason: you little...

Batfam quotes as real things I've heard

*standing on one foot with an arm in the air*

Tim: doing flirty things

Jason: THAT'S flirty things?

Tim: *deadpan* I can't flirt

Guys, Don't leave yourself in these situations. Speak up, it doesn't make you weak or less of a man.

PSA from Blobby. Something we should talk about more ❤️

*GASP*

I found the webtoon...

Best day I've had since I discovered they have a legit Ramen shop at the mall.

Everything about this webtoon is amazing.

Go read it.

No, really.

Do it.

Download Webtoon and find the Batman comic, it's not hard to miss.

Batfam Nerf War...

Nerf wars are supposed to be fun! Right?

Usually they are! Until you take a family full of child soldiers, emotional constipation, and trauma; give them toy guns and tell them to go.

You've doomed yourself from the beginning!

Of course no one started this intentionally. It was just supposed to be a... joke.

Jason started it.

Because of course he did!

Saw video of someone rigging a Nerf gun and said "Bitch, I can do better". Jason proceeded to create a Nerf gun that shot Nerf darts like paintball.

Now that he had a demon Nerf gun, he had to test it out. On Tim.

"He won't be THAT pissed off."

Famous fucking last words

Tim gets hit ONCE and then declares war.

Now, I don’t know if anyone knows this about Timothy Drake, but the man is a literal genius. Who decided to use his smarts to create something that would blow Jason’s "weapon of mass annoyance" out of the water.

This man build a custom Nerf gun. That fucker leaves bruises.

Tim then builds a team...

I'll write part two tomorrow!

Absolutely love how everyone's personality is shown!

I was sick for all of Dick’s birthday, so it took me longer than usual to do this for him! Happy (one day late) birthday my most wonderful of boys, thanks for brightening my life.

These designs are so cool! Tim's is the best though.

Batman fan art - Classic Korean style 2

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Tim: Duck tape fixes anything.

Tim: Car breaks down? Duck tape.

Tim: Coffee mug chipped? Duck tape.

Tim: Get Stabbed? Duck Tape.

Dick:

Dick: Tim, no.

Don't we all love some chaotic siblings shenanigans at the gala?

Ah! The annual Wayne gala...

Every year, Bruce Wayne attempts to throw a normal gala.

You, know. The kind every other billionaire throws.

But somehow

Somehow

Something weird happens.

Whether Damian lets Batcow into the ballroom, or Steph sets off the sprinkler system, or (God forbid) Jason mixes laxatives into the cake; something always goes wrong.

And. It. Is. Always. His. Kids'. Fault.

It's become a running joke in the media!

"The Wayne Kids at it again!!! Read their latest gala antics below!"

Bruce just wants to jump into that bottomless pit in the Batcave...

Why WHY are his... lovely children like this? Can't they just give him some peace.

Of course not, Dick is sitting on the chandelier and everyone is staring.

Dick waves at him.

He can only stare blankly until Tim comes over and hands him a cup of coffee, Tim holding one himself.

Not really a typical gala drink, but he deserves it. Takes a big drink and almost spits it out. He give Tim and incredulous look.

The coffee is spiked.

He can't tell if it has monster, whisky, or a fucking 5 hour energy in it though.

Tim just shrugs and takes the cup back.

"More for me"

Cass walks over and gives him a pity pat on the shoulder.

God help him.

He loves these kids.

But God help him...

Am I the only one that has a serious issue with how they made Jason not a book-nerd in Titans?

Jason is a book nerd!

Just because he grew up on the streets and curses like a sailor, doesn't mean he can't like books!

AITA for not killing my son’s murder?

I’m a well-off parent (36M). This story is about one of my children (15m), who I will call J for the sake of privacy.

One day J and I got into a particularly bad fight bc I accused him of murder. After this J went to search for his bio mom. However, due to reasons that will remain unspecified, my son died in a terrorist attack.

After finding J’s body, I decided to hunt down and kill my his murder. However by the time I found the man, my friend (34M) stopped me from taking his life.

Should I have gone through with it anyways? Should my son remained unavenged?

Edit: My new son believes I made the right choice.

Edit-Edit: GOOD NEWS: J IS ALIVE

Edit-Edit-Edit: BAD NEWS: HE IS NOT PLEASED WITH MY CHOICE.

Edit-Edit-Edit-Edit: Slit my J’s throat to stop him from killing his murder.

Edit-Edit-Edit-Edit-Edit: J’s coming over for brunch!

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

Jason: *wailing dramatically in a long victorian dress with a lit candlabra down one of the many dimily lit corridors of the gothic mansion at midnight*

Bruce: *turning on the hall lights* Jason, we’ve already fucking talked about this