So Atlas Likes Sleeping On The Short, Waist Level Bookcase In The Bathroom, That's Fine.

Panicking over something I shouldn't

I still panic

When you come back

Each time

I think

You're going to do it

Again

And I panic

Because you'll blame me

And I'm scared

That you'll be right

This time

I wish

I didn't think of you

Anymore

And I hope

That I stop

Thinking

Of that night

Because I'm so scared

That you'll do it

Again

And I won't be able

To stop you

That way I did

Last time

Because

It wasn't my fault

And I hate it when

You blame me

For not coming back

When I'm scared

That it'll happen again

If I came back

Like how you want me too

I'm scared

That you wont

Come back anymore

A and I'd rather

Have you hate me

From a distance

As someone

I don't feel

Responsible for

Anymore

Because

You make it my fault

And I

Convence myself

That you're right

And I

Forget

That you're not

Scared of the same

Things as I am

Because you love to blame me

And was never really my fault

Stop scaring me

I'm not coming back

I don't want that night

To happen again

So stop

Making it my fault

I left all this

Behind me

And I gave up

When

There was nothing

I could do

For you anymore

I'm sorry

I'm not enough

And

I'm sorry

That

I

Never

Was

Loving this amazing, spectacular person is the greatest thing I've ever done so like their AMAZING ART PLEASE, THEY DESERVE LOVE

It really be like that sometimes

Encyclopedias

Of random/oddly specific topics: do they exist and where can I get them. Seriously, I want.

I want encyclopedias/books of/about:

-plants (specifically succulents, cacti, and sunflowers)

-animals (rabbits, cats, frogs, turtles, sheep, goats, snakes, and bees)

-clothes/fashion/trends (fuck me up with that character design material)

-art (just a fucking book about art history and shit because I fucking want one)

I just- I have some things I wanna learn about and they happen to be very strange and specific, ok.

Dude

Two things rn.

Earlier today I had an appointment with a psychiatrist that works for my therapist. The appointment lasted 2 hours, at the end of which he gave me a prescription for Prozac, which I've decided to start tomorrow.

I know from experience that dying your hair with kool-aid is great if you want really bright hair until the end of time sooo... I've been thinking about dyeing my hair a rainbow, which would be awesome and I really wanna do it!

TL;DR: I'm going to start Prozac tomorrow and I wanna dye my hair a rainbow using kool-aid.

verified ways to send aid to gaza directly

Help a Palestinian family directly:

gazafunds.com - Donate directly to a Palestinian family in urgent need of evacuation, medical attention, food, rebuilding homes/businesses etc. (Spotlights 1 verified gfm at a time so if you don't know who/where to donate to just go here and donate to the one they show you!)

Help provide tents (urgent):

The Sameer Project: Currently providing tents for displaced families in Gaza (emergency bc tents in Rafah are being burned as we speak) (paypal) (gfm)

Food, cash & essentials:

Care for Gaza: Working on the ground in Gaza to distribute food, cash, medicine & other essentials to displaced families. (paypal) (gfm)

Direct Aid for Gaza: also working on the ground in Gaza to distribute food, cash & other daily essential suppliess to displaced families. (paypal) (gfm)

Water:

Gaza Municipality's water project: The official Municipality of Gaza needs help rebuilding the water infrastructure in Gaza City to restore access to clean water and waste management services for the people of Gaza. (This campaign only has a couple of weeks left but it's still only at 15%!)

eSIMs (urgent):

guide to buy & send esims for gaza

crips for esims for gaza: If you don't know how to buy esims or don't have the capacity to manage them (e.g. topping up regularly), this team of volunteers are collecting funds to buy & manage gaza esims regularly

Medical Aid

Palestine Red Crescent Society: Provides emergency medical and ambulance services and humanitarian relief on the ground in Gaza e.g. rescuing and treating the wounded.

I love the person who drew this so, by association, I love these drawing(also they're amazing, just sayin')

Fucking Easter, my dudes

My dad hid some eggs with money in them along with a ton of empty ones.

Long story short: only 17 had money and I now have 11 dollars.

I had an asthma attack partway through searching, though.

Im in the kind of mood to throw everything away. I feel like deleting all my posts. I want to get off the internet. I'll draw that same fucking window. I'll tell myself that I'll be back to normal tomorrow. But I just want to break anything and everything important to me and then go to sleep. And when I wake up, have nothing be real. But instead I'm going to pretend I'm a real person and keep playing the same mobile game that I've managed not to delete yet. And I'll be ok.

Me: *has a GI stomach bug,aka:is sick*

Dad: have you fed the rabbits?

Me: no, I've been throwing up and my body aches, and I don't want to move.

Dad: well you better go see how many of them are dead, then.

Me, internally: it's only been two days? I'm sick?? Why is that no one else can do it??? Literally, you can do it???? IM SICK?????