Latest Posts by buttonstheturtle - Page 3

Birthdays suck.

I wanna die, haha.

HAVE A CUTE PIC OF MY BABY, HAHAHAA!!!

1, 2, 3.

1. Started: preschool

Left: 6 weeks into 4th

2. Started: 6th grade

Left: halfway into 9th

3. Started(late): 9th(repeat)/10th

Leaving: after attending the 1st week we have back from winter break.

I'll be leaving soon.

Hopefully to get my GED, and

Hopefully then: college

Maybe get a degree-

In art

Or in psychology.

Hopefully

I find a job

And learn to drive-

Or at least ride a bike.

But

No matter what-

I'll be leaving.

...

I'm sorry.

I got into a fight at school.

The other girl through the first punch.

But it made me realise that school's too much

For me to handle.

I just can't seem to take

When I make calmness break

In someonelse...

Or in myself.

Last week-

I think-

I had a dream

Where I was in love

And happy

And we were content

And calm...

In my head:

There was still calamity,

So I thanked you

For sailing in my storm with me.

Because I know

Some will still be angry

When I go back-

Just as when I leave

(again)

They can't forgive me

For last year...

For just-

Disappearing

From them.

I plan to tell them

This time-

Give my reasons-

And explain

That school

Is seeming

Like an unbearable strain

And I need a break

And a little concentration

Combined with motivation

To keep going.

But last night

...

No dreams.

Just the one nightmare

As my comfort and my company.

But because of it

I woke of lonely

And still felt empty

For a couple hours 'til

I remembered

That they(and you)

Were angry

At me

For leaving.

And I felt queasy

Even now, this evening.

And I know

That is was true, though.

But it scared me anyway

That she

Had wanted revenge

For what- I couldn't say,

After all: /she/ tried to punch /me/

I'd just wanted her to stop.

...

I guess I'll never really

Feel like I'm enough.

...

Any way, I remember

That in my dream

Everybody knew each other-

And all of you hate(d) me.

I guess dreams /do/ just mirror reality...

I'm lying.

To you,

To myself,

Maybe everybody...

What if I'm lying to myself?

What if everything I am isn't true?

What if I'm just acting?

What if I don't really love you?

What if it doesn't matter-

How badly I want to?

What if I'm a liar?

And don't even belong here?

What if I'm wrong?

And have been tricking everyone?

What if I've been manipulative?

And stringing everyone along?

What if all that I am-

Isn't even real?

What if I'm just fooling you?

And that isn't how I feel?

What if I've been grasping-

At something that isn't there?

What if I've been faking?

And I don't really care?

Cause zoning out

And talking loud

Are all that seems to fit.

What if that's why being gay

And being scared

And being nice

And being aware

And trying to be kind

Never really made sense

When I'm just going to die.

And I thought writing this would

Make me feel a little better

But inside it feels like peeling off

Almost every layer

And finding nothing inside

Of me

But a skeleton, blood, and guts

What if I'm just a liar?

And that's all I ever was?

Because I can't do this by my own renown

And saying I'm not gay

Feels like I'm letting myself down.

Feels like greeting a stranger.

Feels like the opposite

Of letting everyone I care about

D

O

W

N.

And what if that's who I should be?

What's if unlike me-

That's who they should see!

Perfect

Perfect

Perfect

Don't let anybody down-

You have to hate yourself to be happy!

While just wearing a frown

I feel myself getting down

From this pedestal I built

Maybe this-

A liar

A fake

A disappointment

A mistake

What if...

What if that's all that I can hope to me?

I just hope I won't get worse.

I miss my baby boy.

Meet Atlas, he’s very vocal when awake but rn he’s hugging my thigh and sleepin’.

Why was this flagged as inappropriate? It was a picture of a tiny frog????

I made a friend but they hopped away

My son from cookie run, Peppermint Cookie

A noice drawing that took me twenty fucking minetes(which was mostly just shading).

Although, I must say: fucking worth it.

Tried to make a sunset themed beanie...

At least it looked good while on the loom.

Me, Auggy, and Cleo were cuddling so I had my sister take a pic.

God, cats are so fucking cute.

So I'm drawing a thing...

Haven't posted any drawings in a little while, and I was punched in the gut by the need to draw a cute Cyclops chick this morning.

So here's that, I guess.

Random drawing of myself I did on a folder at school :p

Late Halloween costume, oops!

Me and @canndsoap were Greg Lee and Mae Borowski from Night in the Woods!

The zero is red vinyl, and I made our ears from cardstock paper, and tape!

Beautiful, spectacular, phenomenal, top of the line, 10/10, gorgeous, I love them

and to finish it off, Rylie and Nari

*gestures wildly at these work of art*

*and the work of art's beautiful drawings*

Loving this amazing, spectacular person is the greatest thing I've ever done so like their AMAZING ART PLEASE, THEY DESERVE LOVE

It really be like that sometimes

LOVE THEM, THEY DESERVE ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD, PLEASE AND THANK

O btw I’m posting these weird bc I’m posting according to page in my sketchbook-

This is top of the line art and deserved nothing less then to be treated as such.

This is the largest spam I’ve ever done wow-

Please love the artist they are the BEST and I LOVE THEM

this show is a rOLLERCOASTER I swEar-

I love the person who drew this so, by association, I love these drawing(also they're amazing, just sayin')

My fav person drew this, love them, thx

ahehsjsk idk why I’m so nErvous-

My fav person ever drew dis, love them plz

Angry girl look at her go-

I really like the project were working on in art😁

Contoured line: done😎

Watercolor: we'll see😉

One handsome boy was waiting for me to get home today😊

I'm love him?

Gonna get my haircut tomorrow!!! Really excited!

I CHANGED MY MIND ABIUT MY HIGHSCHOOL BEING A HELLHOLE, MY FRIEND GOES THERE AND SAID THAT THEY MISSED ME SO IM REALLY EXCITED TO GO BACK NOW!

Gonna be returned to the hellhole that is high school next Monday but before then, Imma get a pixie cut this weekend.

Short hair and whatever pride stuff I can find for MAXIMUM GAY🏳️‍🌈

GUESS WHO WAS RIGHT ABOUT BERT AND ERNIE FROM SESEME STREET BEING GAAAY!!!

And my sister trys to say they were brothers, lol lol lol,😋🏳️‍🌈👬

Update: it is now my most favorite thing I own!😁😁😁🐢