Latest Posts by chaos-interwoven - Page 2

all i can imagine is aaron having had to deal with neil being a capital-t terrible patient for hours on end because you’re right, he would not behave. like he would be trying to get up every few minutes, especially when aaron steps out to check on one of his other patients which means aaron feels the need to be in neil’s room more so that he doesn’t injure himself and aaron isn’t accountable for his dumb ass decisions. and neil would be lying about the pain to try to get himself discharged early. even after aaron turns up the morphine drip (or whatever it is lol, my medical “knowledge” comes from medical dramas), neil is still lying through his teeth and aaron is just like what the actual fuck. because there no way neil isn’t in pain, he’s actively bleeding cause he pulled his stitches trying to get out of bed like an idiot

and then andrew arrives and neil is still trying to say he is fine and can be discharged. and aaron is blocking him out, too busy freaking out over his look-alike and too tired to deal with neil’s obvious lies. but andrew is arguing back and calling him a junkie and all aaron can focus on is “omg his voice sounds like mine too wtf wtf wtf”

he must make some sort of noise, a gasp or that choking in the back of his throat is accidentally vocalized, cause next thing he knows neil is sliding him a cool glare (and again, how the fuck is he still acting like this on so much morphine) and switching to german. his doppelgänger rolls his eyes but follows him into the other language and now aaron is even more convinced that he is losing his mind. screw whatever his coworker said, he no longer believes her. they’re both exhausted, why should her mind be trusted more than his own. clearly this is some sort of hallucination because no way he encounters someone who looks like him, sounds like him, and speaks german too. he needs to listen to katelyn and get more than 5 hours of sleep before a shift and stop having multiple energy drinks. that’s what this is. there is no other reasonable explanation.

he goes to leave the room, needing to escape the insanity and completely okay with leaving one character of his hallucination to deal with the other. he’ll come back. he has to and hallucination or not, he will not be a bad nurse. just maybe after he asks his charge nurse to check his vitals.

he gives neil’s monitors a quick look over and tries to ignore the two arguing in german. but hey its not his fault he can understand them, even if he’s trying to not listen. but then neil says something about needing to be back on the court by thursday and he’s reaching for his IV line like he’s going to pull it out and before aaron can stop himself, he’s saying “don’t,”quick and angry in german and covering neil’s IV with his hand. two sets of eyes whip around to stare at him and that’s it, he’s fleeing. he will deal with this later.

An AU where the twinyards don’t meet until even mater in life— as in after college where everything from Andrew’s end goes almost the same minus Aaron and Nicky being in his life. He still makes it Palmetto, still meets Kevin and Neil and goes pro. Aaron on the other hand becomes a nurse (I have my reasons for this) never goes to Palmetto, and they only meet because one injured Neil Josten ends up on his unit. Aaron is about at his wits end because Pro Exy player Neil Josten (whoever that is because Aaron doesn’t follow Exy), who is on a lot of pain meds, keeps calling him Andrew and Aaron is about 5 seconds away from making the on-call resident very upset by requesting another CT scan of Josten’s head because surely his brain is scrambled. There’s nothing more that Aaron wants than to go home and fall face first into bed which is of course when his charge nurse walks up to him with a sheepish look, nearly begging him to stay another 4 hours because his relief’s kid is apparently sick and she can’t come in until 11am, which makes Aaron want to die so naturally he agrees, which means another 4 hours of Neil Josten at the end of his shift hooray.

And so of course Neil Josten calls him “Andrew” once more while Aaron is checking his IV (note: it’s now visiting hours), and Aaron, exhausted and cranky and just had to dodge a bedpan being thrown at his head, feels his eye twitch violently as he politely (read: thru clenched teeth) reminds Pro Exy Player Neil Josten once again that he is not Andrew—

Which is when another voice pipes up from the doorway, fresh scent of coffee in the air that nearly has Aaron salivating, who says “correct, you are not Andrew. I am.”

And Aaron turns around to see his mirror image standing in the doorway.

An AU where the twinyards don’t meet until even mater in life— as in after college where everything from Andrew’s end goes almost the same minus Aaron and Nicky being in his life. He still makes it Palmetto, still meets Kevin and Neil and goes pro. Aaron on the other hand becomes a nurse (I have my reasons for this) never goes to Palmetto, and they only meet because one injured Neil Josten ends up on his unit. Aaron is about at his wits end because Pro Exy player Neil Josten (whoever that is because Aaron doesn’t follow Exy), who is on a lot of pain meds, keeps calling him Andrew and Aaron is about 5 seconds away from making the on-call resident very upset by requesting another CT scan of Josten’s head because surely his brain is scrambled. There’s nothing more that Aaron wants than to go home and fall face first into bed which is of course when his charge nurse walks up to him with a sheepish look, nearly begging him to stay another 4 hours because his relief’s kid is apparently sick and she can’t come in until 11am, which makes Aaron want to die so naturally he agrees, which means another 4 hours of Neil Josten at the end of his shift hooray.

And so of course Neil Josten calls him “Andrew” once more while Aaron is checking his IV (note: it’s now visiting hours), and Aaron, exhausted and cranky and just had to dodge a bedpan being thrown at his head, feels his eye twitch violently as he politely (read: thru clenched teeth) reminds Pro Exy Player Neil Josten once again that he is not Andrew—

Which is when another voice pipes up from the doorway, fresh scent of coffee in the air that nearly has Aaron salivating, who says “correct, you are not Andrew. I am.”

And Aaron turns around to see his mirror image standing in the doorway.

They’re gonna work it out on the remix

They deserve a good nap 😴

has anyone ever said that this is a neil abram josten song…….

cause i mean look

And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hand / Is in me, it’s in me in my veins

i don’t think these lines even need explaining. it’s him. it’s him and mary and nathan

So, touch my skin and tell me where you’ve been

to me, this feels like neil and andrew and their truths game. neil’s need to hear andrew’s past and to know his truth and the way their game makes him feel real

You showed me how to keep myself from burning out

and

You showed me how to hold my skin

neil learning to confront his truth and his lies and transform them into something real. andrew helped him figure out how to become something more than his lies and how to stand as himself instead of being a pile of lies that burns out and replaces itself with another fictitious person

imagine that jeremy knox has cowboy boots shoved in the back of his closet. jeremy knox who has a matching cowboy hat. jeremy knox that knows line dances. jeremy knox that has a complicated relationship with them because “he is not my grandfather” but a part of him loves the dances anyway. jeremy knox that teaches jean line dances after cat discovered jean doesn’t know how to dance and made it her mission to introduce them to him. jeremy knox who mimics tipping his hat. jeremy knox who sees jean picking up on the dance enough that he pulls his boots and hat from the back of the closet to show it to him properly. jeremy knox who learns to be okay loving line dances through doing them with jean. jeremy knox line dancing

afab twinyards but aaron is a trans guy and passes decently so he's really confused about how higgins got him confused with his twin sister. until he meets andrew and she's a butch lesbian. they have the same haircut

hold a magnet near the foxes and weapons start appearing outta hammerspace

somehow i survived finals week and moving out……… still up in the air if i have any brain cells left and the next few days will not feel real but hey now i can drown myself in aftg all summer 🤭

One of many third book makeouts 🫡

love language of sharing cigarettes

finishes an essay just to have to write another finishes an essay just to have to write another finishes. an essay. just to have to write. another. eughhhhhhhhh

Ugh..

need to take my heart out and give it a little rinse under cold water

him not being able to fight is literally a whole subplot in my opinion. early on in tfc he actually says how he is an instigator through and through and can only start fights, not finish them, assumedly because of his smart mouth

“Neil was much better at instigating fights than winning them, but it'd be worth losing if he could just put a fist through Kevin's face once. Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil" to be, though.” - tfc, chapter five

he realizes that he cannot fight, that he could throw a punch or two but would get his ass beat cause that’s not his strong suit. with weapons it could be a different story but like OP said, his training was when he was very young and mary took him before he moved on to cutting up the human body (it actually wasn’t EC, it’s in tkm which is cool)

“He didn't say he'd used knives before; one couldn't grow up a Wesninski without having a blade pushed into his hand. Nathan didn't have the time or patience to teach his son but he'd put two of his people to the task. Luckily Neil left home before he progressed past cutting up hunks of dead animals.” - tkm, chapter three

we can guess that on the run, he had to put his limited fighting skills into action to survive and that he might be a bit better if he had a gun or a knife but he is not close to renee’s level and that’s okay. he doesn’t want to be. he even admits that he doesn’t want to learn how to fight with knives because it reminds him too much of his father.

"So those knives [Andrew] brings everywhere are yours?" "Were mine," Renee said. "He was right; I don't need them anymore. If you need them, he will give them to you, and I will teach you how to use them." She wasn't smiling anymore. Neil studied her calm expression and knew she meant it. She'd put her faith in mankind and her Christian piety on hold and show him how to cut a man open throat to groin if he asked her to. […] "Thank you," Neil said, "but no. I don't want to be like—him." - tkm, chapter three

and him not being good with his fists is important because he feels a bit helpless after drake happens and goes to matt to ask him for help. because matt knows how to fight because of his mother and neil is aware of that, aware of his shortcomings, and asks for lessons

“That night he asked Matt to teach him how to fight. Matt looked surprised by the request but agreed, and they spent the rest of the evening figuring out when they could possibly meet up for lessons. […] Matt promised to get Neil a pair of gloves the next time he went out.” -trk, chapter fourteen

neil not being able to fight is important because it goes hand in hand with him being a runner. he knows how to start fights and how to run away from them. we can even assume he knows how to fight just enough to find an opening to run. but throughout the trilogy he is learning how to stand his ground and not run at the first hint of danger. learning to lean on others and how to fight is part of that journey meaning he has to be bad at it at first. and i don’t believe he ever gets great at it. because he doesn’t want to pick up a knife and while he learns how to fight from matt (which is phenomenal, i love their friendship so much) part of point of the books is neil healing and not needing to fight anymore. after riko dies and after baltimore, neil has less reason to know how to fight than before and i think he doesn’t put his full effort in mastering it. i believe that he learns how to stand his own in a fight because he wants to have the safety that comes with it but knows that he has andrew to lean on now should he need him

i keep seeing people say neil is canonically better at fighting than andrew??? genuinely confused as to where this is coming from outside of fanon...like genuinely why do people think he can beat andrew or even renee in a fight? neil is not physically intimidating like andrew. he is not capable of the same physical violence (maybe if u give him a gun). and yeah i see people point to his upbringing with nathan and MAYBE im cheating bcus im pretty sure this was only mentioned in the EC but his training never moved past dead animals. mary literally took him and ran before they could move to training him on live ones, and i think that's evidence that he wouldn't be some insanely crazy good knife fighter (also the fact all of this occured before he turned 10).

and call me crazy but there's No Evidence that Mary taught him Any physical fighting while they were on the run during those 8 years. in fact i think there's more subtextual evidence for her refusing to teach him both so that 1) he'd remain dependent on her and 2) so there was no chance he could become like nathan. like did we forget that his whole thing is getting his ass beat. over n over again. this is, i would argue, one of his most character defining traits. the foxes' battered wife in the wise words of one david wymack. mr "i start fights and let andrew finish them" josten.

Listen, you know why Andrew loves Neil? Why Neil Abram Josten was the one Andrew would allow into his inner space, to allow growing roots where Andrew keeps the remaining fragments of his heart?

Because hardly anyone respects Andrew's boundaries. Renee does. Bee does. Wymack does. Andrew respects his own boundaries to the point of enforcing them at knife point.

But Neil? Neil Abram Josten?

He views Andrew's boundaries as sacred.

Renee, Bee, and Wymack would view crossing Andrew's boundaries as disrespectful at best and a violation at worst. They earned his trust that way.

But NEIL???

Neil views crossing Andrew's boundaries as a fucking sin. As blasphemous. A devoted disciple would sooner spit in their God's face than Neil ever conceiving of crossing Andrew's boundaries.

Some people would look at you erecting brick walls covered in barbed wire and would start looking for a good crack to aim a sledgehammer. Some people would watch you lock a door and try knocking, just once, to see if you'll open it for them. And some people would watch you draw a line in the sand and never dream of stepping over it.

Neil parked his ass on the other side of Andrew's barbed wired multi-layered brick wall surrounding his concrete bunker and stayed there, running his mouth. And when Andrew revealed the hidden door, Neil smiled, stayed put, and kept talking.

Andrew didn't fall for Neil because Neil wouldn't come in.

He fell because Neil waited for Andrew to come out, waited for Andrew to extend his hand, and waited for Andrew to lead him inside by his own volition.

And that's why Neil was the one who earned Andrew's "Stay".

i’m moving out (from college) this saturday and keep putting packing off because it stresses me the fuck out and like i don’t want to go home but also i kinda do. change makes me feel untethered as fuck and packing makes me anxious. might have to reread aftg again to be able to stay sane throughout this

neil josten definitely picks at his scabs. and it annoys aaron to no end. imagine that aaron just starts swatting at his hands whenever he tries to pick at scabs because he can’t deal with neil having them for any longer. and andrew just lets him because he knows it’s better if neil actually lets his injuries heal and honestly, it’s funny

sorry but can i just say how hilarious it is that neil ended up on the foxes who have bright, obnoxious orange uniforms and is from baltimore where the O’s (their baseball team) have bright, obnoxious orange and white as their colors too. and neil fucking hates baseball. and yet……..

I keep thinking my sunsent-time lighting is getting repetitive, but then i do pieces like these that end up feling kinda soft and i can't think of a better type of ligthing to give it that matches the vibe 😔

continuing this for the upperclassmen:

dan: depends on the shoes. in sneakers or boots, no. in heels, yes. i know what you’re thinking, she was stripper, she has hella experience in heels. and yes, but not with running in them. she can turn up on the dance floor and jump her heart out in heels but will tumble eventually if she tries to run

renee: no way in hell. rain or shine, heels, sneakers, flats, or fucking platform boots, this girl can drunk run without falling. and she is suchhhhh a drunk runner. she gets drunk and wants to run, less for the adventure like nicky and more just because something in her drunk mind tells her too. the instigator in her comes out a bit when she’s drunk and on top of being a drunk runner, she’s a drunk fighter. give her enough drinks and she will square up with any willing participant. and will demolish those dumb straight boys who challenge her to arm wrestle

matt: definitely falls. i’m sorry but he would try to run with nicky and they would both end up sprawled on the ground. i think he loses awareness of how long his legs are while drunk and it makes him fall if he tries to run

allison: again with the too much decorum to fall. she only goes out in heels, maybeeee platform boots if the world is upside down for a day but that requires renee to convince her so usually it’s just her and her heels. and she’s been walking in those since she was 10 and stealing them from her mother’s closet. no way she trips or twists an ankle much less falls in heels regardless of being drunk

seth: no siree. he is far to spiteful to not be the ultimate little shit while drunk and being able to successfully run lends itself to that. he also has far too much experience being intoxicated and some skills are acquired through practice

whether the monsters would fall while drunk running:

neil: absolutely not. that boy has been running since before he could walk and there is no way after all that running under so many kinds of pressure that he wouldn’t be able to handle drunken shenanigans

aaron: can run drunk surprisingly well but also will lose the ability to handle curbs or stairs and has tripped and ended up on the ground before

nicky: yes, 110% yes. definitely a drunk runner. cannot let him out of your sights bc he might decide to go on a little adventure and he largely overestimates his coordination and will be on the ground before he knows it

andrew: honestly i can’t imagine him running while drunk…….. but i don’t see him falling either. he has too much decorum

kevin: yes. less than nicky but yes and he will swear to you otherwise. you’d think after drinking so much he would have a better handle on things but there’s a reason he doesn’t dance and he only had practice controlling his speech and facial expressions while drunk

missing my babygirl dr. melissa king right about now. should i watch the pitt a third time, yes or yes

My favourite thing to torture myself with is imagining the aftg character at an age when they start to resemble their father.

Like Neil one day gets a haircut and then forgets to shave and looks in the mirror and has a complete breakdown. Let's is hair grow pretty long after and never cuts it above his ears.

Jeremy deciding to grow a beard because his father was always clean-shaven.

Jean having some buried memories dug up when he reaches a certain age and suddenly the face of his abuser is right in front of him again.

On the flipside, Kevin is all Keyleigh until he hits forty and then suddenly everyone is gushing about how he and Wymack are peas in a pod and it's an extra special connection between them

my absolute hatred of having to write intros and conclusions is torturing me this finals season...... an intro i can sort of understand but can't you just form your own conclusions goddamn. like i spelled it all out for you already

night practice

aftg floor plans pt.2

i know i said i would be making the homes in california next however that was actually just me pulling a neil josten so instead here are some more places from the first three books because i had their images in my head and moving chronologically called to me

perhaps most importantly is the monster's home in columbia. i am not sure if the books actually say this is a split level home but it makes sense to me and i have picked up on nora liking split level homes from multiple descriptions so that's what it is. we know nicky's room is on the first floor and so is the bathroom which means aaron and andrew are upstairs. andrew's room being second seemed right because its farther from the front door and because of the vague way my brain played out that scene of him coming downstairs before going to easthaven. not sure if i love that there's only one bathroom but we don't learn of a second one and i honestly don't think nicky could have afforded the jump in price a second bathroom would bring

okay. this one is painful. and for the record, i am sorry. but its mentioned so here it is. as you can tell i didn't want to or feel the need to fully fill in this house. i just added enough so that you can vaguely get the point and put labels for the rest. mainly i just did the kitchen, the back screened in porch where they ate, and that cursed bedroom. again, i am sorry. we're moving on to something more fun though don't worry

spring break cabin!!! this was so much fun, i cannot even begin to tell you. and okay, i know they were there for only a week so like what does it matter but it matters to me. this space is so cozy and caved out in my head that i just had to do it. the tan is the inside and the grey is the porch which we know to be in the back and on one of the sides. ignore how i didn't really put anything on the porch... i was kinda stuck beyond the hot tub. but this place is hugeeeee like oh my god. we have the large living room around the fireplace, the ginormous kitchen, the cute back room that is mentioned to have pool and foosball, and of course, our favorite, the bedroom neil and andrew stay in. ngl i struggled a bit with that bedroom's layout but this is what we ended up with

okay, second floor. according to neil, the four upstairs bedrooms are placed in each of the corners which made it a bit difficult and definitely interesting to do. because of this, i gave two of them a jack and jill style bathroom. in my mind, it makes sense for the two bedrooms sharing a bathroom to be given to nicky, kevin, and aaron. i think kevin being the drama queen he is would get his own and nicky and aaron would share but honestly aaron could be with either. and of course matt and dan are together and allison and renee are in the last one. each room has a door to the wrap around porch but it made sense to me for the open areas to have access too. and speaking of the open areas i made one a mini lounge because apparently there are multiple fire places and i had to put the second one somewhere and the other has desks because i didn't put them in any of the rooms. i mean it is a vacation home, why would they need desks in their rooms?

i swear i will actually do the cali homes next. i have sketches of them in my notebooks but haven't fully fleshed them out online like the rest. but they exist and i have already scoured the books to piece them together so hopefully it won't take ten years but then again, it is finals season and i have so so many essays to do so we will see.

oh and, i have about half of wymack's apartment done in the sims and while it's a struggle to be era accurate, it's very cute and fun

pt. 1 pt. 3 (cali)

I DON'T BELIEVE IN COMEDY! (...) JUST KIDDING!

whether the monsters would fall while drunk running:

neil: absolutely not. that boy has been running since before he could walk and there is no way after all that running under so many kinds of pressure that he wouldn’t be able to handle drunken shenanigans

aaron: can run drunk surprisingly well but also will lose the ability to handle curbs or stairs and has tripped and ended up on the ground before

nicky: yes, 110% yes. definitely a drunk runner. cannot let him out of your sights bc he might decide to go on a little adventure and he largely overestimates his coordination and will be on the ground before he knows it

andrew: honestly i can’t imagine him running while drunk…….. but i don’t see him falling either. he has too much decorum

kevin: yes. less than nicky but yes and he will swear to you otherwise. you’d think after drinking so much he would have a better handle on things but there’s a reason he doesn’t dance and he only had practice controlling his speech and facial expressions while drunk

catching fire, chapter three:

reading this like ohhhhhh don’t worry katniss you’ll get to go swimming soon enough

i just finished rereading the hunger games (book 1) and can feel the obsession coming back full strength. the last time i read these i was in middle school so it’s been at least 7 years which is crazy to consider. and let me tell you, the books are no less brilliant today than they were then. if anything, they’ve gained strength and meaning in the face of today’s political climate