Only Sleep💤💤

---- 2/10/2024 entry

* Today I downloaded GTA the trilogy!! I'm starting with GTA III and it looks good.

* My sister is changing schools, she's 18 so she can do whatever she wants but my mom is so heartbroken, it's so sad to see her this way.

* I felt an urge to relapse into starving, but I KILLED that urge, murdered, gone !!

* On Monday I'll have swimming classes so i decided to go on a 1200 kcal diet until Monday, I'll do HIIT daily and walk a lot + 16:8. Ik thats kinda unhealthy but i wanna look good quick and i swear ill return to eating normal after monday LOLLL

* I was on a walk with my mom for like an hour and a half, I absolutely love walking with her, and I love her, she's the best <3

* That's it lol, nothing really happenned :') byeee🩷🪽

the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.

when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."

but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.

now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.

the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.

but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."

the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.

but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?

because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!

and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.

this is how my soul looks like 🤞🩷🪽

work out: 40 minute run

food rules: yes

stretching: yes

studying: 3 hours

meditate: nope

⋆₊˚4/10/2024 – DAY 4 journal

The day after my binge fast was suprisingly good, I thought I'll feel sick or something but nah, it was a regular day. I started it by eating a toast with two eggs, i only ate one because i burnt them both and the second one was just.. uhh.. Yeah, then i *sadly* went to school but I'm trying to make school better to myself so i have to be positive about it. Yay! I went to school. The day wasn't bad but my bsf disrespected me and i was mad at her, tho I'm not anymore. I got a good grade form my polish class and a compliment from my russian class teacher. When i went back home i made myself lunch = a salad my mom made (with greek yogurt so extra healthy) and fried chopped sausages. Then I IMMIDIATELY without any rest went to my room and hopped on my treadmil. I ran for 40 minutes, so my work out was done! Then i again, immidiately, started studying. Okay, there was a little break but it was cleaning the kitchen, so it wasn't really a break. I studied for 3 hours straight because I have a math exam today and i didn't know anything, but i do now - yay! Then it was already dark outside and my hair was super greasy so i just took a shower and washed my hair, its sooo soft now. It was already 8PM when i finished so i went back to my room, started working on my subliminal (I didn't finish it, if anyone is intrested then bbabybrooke is the name of my channel!!). I watched some YT videos and just went to sleep 💤

╰ tips for eating healthy ও

remember that eating healthy is based on long-terms habits, it’s about making balanced choices to nourish ur body in the best possible way

don’t skip breakfast - breakfast gives u energy to start the day and that’s why it’s the most important meal of the day. choose healthy options sush eggs, fruits and yogurt.

includes a variety of foods - be sure to include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins and healthy fats in your daily diet. the more variety of foods you consume, the more different nutrients you will get.

control portions - pay attention to the size of the portions to avoid overeating. use smaller plates and serve suitable portions. listen to your body and eat until you feel satisfied, not until you are completely full.

limit the consumption of processed foods - highly processed foods are usually rich in trans fats, sugars and sodium, and lack essential nutrients. try to limit its consumption and opt for fresh and natural food.

drink enough water - water is essential to keep your body hydrated and for the proper functioning of all systems. replaces sugary and carbonated drinks with water to reduce the consumption of empty calories.

cooking at home - preparing your own meals gives you control over the ingredients and the way you cook. avoid eating out frequently, as restaurants usually serve large portions and contain less healthy ingredients.

reduces salt and sugar intake - many processed foods contain excessive amounts of salt and sugar. read food labels and look for healthier options with low salt and sugar content.

plan your meals - organize your meals in advance to avoid resorting to quick and unhealthy options when you are hungry. prepare healthy meals and snacks and have them on hand to avoid falling into unhealthy temptations.

chew slowly and enjoy the food - take your time to eat and chew slowly. this will help you enjoy the food, feel satisfied faster and avoid overeating.

increase the consumption of fruits and vegetables - fruits and vegetables are rich sources of vitamins, minerals and fiber. try to include a portion in each meal and as a snack between meals.

remember there are no tricks for a healthy diet. all you need is desire and will 🫶🏻

@ luvrinne