⋆₊˚2/10/2024 – DAY 2 Journal

the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.

when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."

but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.

now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.

the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.

but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."

the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.

but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?

because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!

and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.

don't forget who you are.

A limitless creator. Consciousness. A piece of god, or a god if that sounds easier. 

The point is, stop limiting yourself. Stop trying, stop forcing, stop it all for a second. It wasn’t until I realized how much of a control freak I really was this past week plus. How limiting I really was and it wasn’t until I read source again, along with threads from mutuals to really hit a home run. 

I kept being afraid of the world outside of me because of how it looked, how other people reacted to who I was, and because of how I perceived it all, I always thought living in fear was how to live. Growing up, I thought negativity was always a good thing. 

“Always remember, life is struggle.” “You can’t always get what you want.” “You can’t live in a dream world.” “You can’t do this because of xyz” “You’re not capable of reaching these goals” “Money is always hard to get.” “Love is never something you should want, it always hurts you. It removes sight of your goals.” “You can’t get this, stop trying to reach for the stars. Reach for a branch instead.” “You have to work hard to get what you want, or else you’ll fail.” They became normal to me, it was a branch I was holding onto for dear life, for some sense of reality. I always thought being “realistic” was the right way to go, to appease my family, to please others in life, to not focus on myself because that would mean I’m “selfish”. Still, to this day, I kept thinking that I was my stress, my anxiety, the world around me, the fears of my past, the doubts I've thought of, all of it.

I wasn’t. EVER. 

Honestly, even today, as I’m typing this blog, I had fear spike into me again. I had to really sit down and ask myself, why? Who was I being? Why was I being this? It wasn’t until I overconsumed yet again in my fear-filled state, searching for answers outside of me when I truly realized something today. 

I forgot how limitless I truly was. 

Hell, why learn the law? Why KNOW about the law if I was forgetting who I was? Why in the name of everything nice in this world was I forgetting that imagination/mind/consciousness was my only reality? I still needed to unlearn the fact that I can’t force myself to believe, I shouldn’t. It wasn’t until I read this thread, and Nyx’s (@nyxcreate) posts on tumblr and twitter again to realize the amount of limitations I was putting onto myself. Seriously, WHY was I making this so hard on myself? On my mindset? On who I was being? Another person I who I really look up to made a thread as well, which seriously resonated with me. This one.

While reading Nyx’s posts, I came across her thread on why she didn’t believe in persisting. To which, I wholeheartedly agree. If I was already that person, I wouldn’t be pounding my head with visuals to BE or GET something, I wouldn’t be forcing perfection onto something where perfection genuinely can’t exist. Remove rules and limitations and see how easier it gets. 

I won’t lie, it wasn’t easy. Ever since I learned about the law a few years ago, unlearning the limitations and “rules” life had placed onto me was hard. It wasn’t something I believed overnight or in a second, not when I was seeing those same patterns out in the world.

After what I read, here’s what I learned: Persistence (not in the way you think) wasn’t necessary - I mentioned this in my “states are a mindset” blog too, that persisting isn’t something you’re doing to GET something, it’s to become more comfortable being that person. Agreed. Think about it this way, you wanted to wear a red sweater today and eat hot cheetos, you wore a red sweater and you ate your hot cheetos, are you thinking about it all day? Are you forcing to remind yourself that you ate your hot cheetos and you’re wearing a red sweater? Are you always going back to it? I don’t think so. Sure, you might get a fleeting thought of “dang, I actually look good in this red sweater!” or “i actually got what i wanted to eat” (even if you don’t, that is genuinely completely fine.” But the notion that you need to persist to “become the change” or “to make it natural” was absurd to me, still is. You limit yourself when you think that you need to persist to “become another person” or to “get my sp”. Be so real with yourself, if you had that sp would you be pounding your head with affs that you have them? Would you constantly be visualizing scenes of you two being together 24/7? Really, ask yourself this. If you had the perfect body, you would just be that person, you would be confident and love your body. 

HOWEVER, this isn’t to say that if you enjoy methods to not do them! If I remembered at the end of the day that I wore a red sweater and ate hot cheetos, I might see it as a visual that happens naturally, never forced.  You only really “persist” to keep a change, to acknowledge the identity you have kept for yourself. To remind yourself that you have changed and are now not desiring. Heck, you can even choose NOT to persist if it sounds like too much effort, I did that and it gave me true peace. 

How do I actually believe in imagination? - stop trying to believe. If prior to the law, you saw the 3D as real and your imagination as fake, all you need to do is just flip that. It’s now your imagination is the real reality and this 3D world is fake. 

You’re consciousness moving in and out of states/mindsets, that’s okay - That is quite literally it’s job, to NOT stay in desire and to continuously move through states/mindsets/identities, it’s the reason why different people’s assumptions regarding life and what’s going on are different. No two people will perceive things the same way, one can see persisting as a chore, another can see it as peace, another can be in the middle, that’s okay. 

SELF REALIZATION: Just as all of this hit me, another fact just whacked me in the face. As a limitless being (consciousness) the only reason it exists is to not be in desire. Your whole reason of having desire is to just not have desire, you don’t deserve to live in desire knowing that imagination is the only true reality. THAT is where you’re limitless, not this 3D fleshy human body (that is in fact a garment your consciousness is wearing). When LOA influencers/bloggers or even the big man Neville himself tell you that imagination is god, they mean that your whole world, the world as you want it to be is available there. 

Genuinely make imagination your safe haven. You’re allowed to have doubts, fears, and anything of the sort because you KNOW that it’s part of the 3D, which also means you’re allowed to acknowledge it, but not let the limitless self be limited! Which also means you’re allowed to make your own rules! Yes, you are! You can do that! Remember, you’re not trying to create anything! Creation’s finished!

Want to feel like whenever you let your emotions out, something good will happen? Yeah! Whenever you decide something once, you have it? Yeah! You don’t want to exhaust yourself with methods? Sure! Do what makes you happy! This is truly a mindset switch from a limited being, to someone who is limitless! Perfection doesn’t come with it, it’s not supposed to be there so don’t worry about it. That’s something a close friend of mine @piercedblunt taught me :’) Manifesting is not supposed to feel forced, nor is it supposed to be draining you, if that’s the case, take a break from it. 

So what if you fall out of the state/mindset? Pick yourself back up again, limitless consciousness/awareness is always going to stay a part of you, you can’t just ditch it on the side of the road and think, “welp :/ guess i can’t get what I want” WHO CARES IF YOU CAN’T SEE SHIT OUTSIDE? THAT 👏ISNT👏YOUR👏JOB👏.NEVER HAS BEEN? Now that you’re allowing yourself to be limitless, why would that be an issue? So what if you didn’t see that grade right now? You’re still limitless, aren’t you? Why are you still seeing your emotions as something that’ll hinder you when that is PART OF THE 3D? You’re allowed to just observe/acknowledge it as something you’re feeling, hell, even if you forget you’re limitless, it’ll come back to you eventually. Whether that’s in a minute, a day, a week, a year, you’ll remember your limitless self, you can’t run away from it. To learn more about this, I learned from this thread. I highly recommend reading Star’s loa threads if you’re interested on the mental health/self-love side of LOA, as I resonate dearly with what she has to say. 

To wrap it all up:

Back when I was in high school, I remember I really wanted to manifest a snow day for myself (this was back when I first found out about states). It had been ages since then and I’m pretty sure there was also this assignment I wanted an extension on, so I hit two birds with one stone and manifested a snow storm, which lead to a snow day. The way I did it truly understood that this 3D world cannot fulfill me, it really can’t, it’s not it’s job to. All I did was decide, I asked myself, if I woke up and KNEW that I had a day off because of a school day, what would I be doing? How would I go about the day? How would I react to my school emailing me about bus cancellations? An image just naturally popped up of my school board cancelling buses, all because I decided to be the person who would’ve been having a snow day. After that, I went to sleep, I had gotten rid of desire because I knew my limitless self had experienced it and was experiencing it already. 

I woke up that next morning literally forgetting that I had made that decision, checked the time and saw that it was twenty minutes until my bus would arrive to pick me up for school. My dad came into my room, confused. He literally told me “what are you doing? Your school board emailed everyone that there’s a snow day today and possibly tomorrow with the storm, you’re not going to school? Check your email”. Mind you, I genuinely was confused, but also in the back of my mind felt pretty normal, fulfilled, natural. All because of a decision. Well, one I ultimately forgot T-T. 

But see how I didn’t “persist”? Where did I visualize 24/7? Where did I pound my head with affirmations? Where did I “act as if” in the 3D? Where was there force? When you truly let your limitless self thrive, you learn to not give a crud about the 3D, with practice it all falls into place. (btw this little section is inspired by one of Jay’s blogs as it also cemented how easy it is to use the law!!) 

When we say to fall in love with your new mindset, we basically mean to fall in love with your limitless self. Fall into the abundance, the joy, the relief, the weight of your worries disappearing, all of it. If you fall out, you identify with the 3D, feel like you “slipped up”, you genuinely didn’t, my love. It’s when you think that you did slip up is when you should remind yourself, creation is and was finished the moment you decided you had what you want. Another thing, don’t be afraid to “mess up” in terms of learning the law. Even us bloggers go through it too, we’re also human as well at the end of the day, with real emotions, real feelings, real lives and that is always okay. Make it a habit to understand and love both the human you, and your limitless self. You’re allowed to be free in imagination but also cry over stress. You’re allowed to not live in desire, but also make it a habit to check in with how you feel. You’re allowed to give yourself your wildest dreams, and you can still allow yourself to drop the feelings of guilt or the past. You’re always allowed to forgive, don’t forget that. 

Don’t forget who you are. 

Cheers, 

Kaeya <3

: ̗̀➛ Ways to take care of yourself

Make a workout plan that works well with your menstrual cycle.

Deep clean your room.

Take an everything shower.

Plan your week.

Eat a nutritious snack.

Try a new recipe.

Buy a new fragnance or scented lotion.

Stretch or do yoga.

Talk to yourself.

Look in the mirror and point out every nice thing about yourself.

Read or reread the book you love.

Study for the next test.

Cut blue light an hour before sleeping.

Drink tea after waking up.

Limit your screen time.

Don't surround yourself with negative media (art, posts, etc.).

Dress up nicely.

Research a topic you like

Replay your favourite game.

Spend some time with the person you love and care about.

Try to understand the cause of your bad habits.

Look at motivating (not toxic) posts.

Affirm after waking up and before going to sleep.

Buy a beautiful and comfortable pijama.

Rearrange your room.

Find a new, intresting hobby.

Look for a fragnance that suits you and your personality the best.

Write out the things you want to change about yourself.

Don't skip important hygiene; brushing teeth, washing hair, skipping skincare, showering.

Take a hot relaxing bath.

Completely relax and just think without any distractions; music, subliminals, etc.

Set a new yet small goal you want to work towards to.

Remind yourself of your journey and how far you've come.

Work on your posture.

Cuddle with your animal.

Take a nap.

Buy a new candle.

Romanticise your life and every small thing about it.

Drink some lemon/cucumber water.

Find a new intresting show.

Create a new playlist with your favourite songs.

Find a new comfort YouTuber.

Think about your fun childhood memories.

Try a new form of exercise.

Make a vision board.

Get a therapist, and if you can't: talk with strangers online.

Listen to yout favourite subliminals.

Create a moodboard.

Create a new peace of jewerly.

Give away the clothes you dont wear anymore.

Create a visionboard and look at it everyday while affirming.

Try a new makeup style.

Go out without doing your makeup.

Get used to your 'effortless' look; no makeup, lay clothes, tied hair.

Get used to failing and learn from your mistakes.

Be grateful for the simple things you're blessed with.

Listen to a podcast.

Go on a walk.

Choose your kind of 'perfection'.

Think about deep topics and write about it.

be addicted to real dopamine

be in the present and notice those little things you never saw before, but that have always been there

experience new exciting things that bring you joy

love people, listen to them and create meaningful connections

make art and don’t label it as “good” or “bad,” just let your soul be free

stop scrolling on social media and start turning pages of an interesting book

do mindfulness meditation and feel your body and mind calming down

move your body, no matter how as long as you’re enjoying

listen to music that matches the moment you’re in

eat nourishing food, feel your stomach full without discomfort

get a good night of sleep and feel yourself ready for another day

me dreaming about the scenarios that WILL happen because it is divinely aligned for it to. my reality is simply a projection of my consciousness. everything is already working out the way it is supposed to. blessings otw.

2014 😍

🎄🎁🎅🎁🎄