Latest Posts by continous-mistakes - Page 2

70% of the time tim drake is one of the greatest liars on the planet, even able to trick batman

the other 30% goes something like this:

dick: hey tim do you smell something burning?

tim: …no

dick:

dick: tim—

tim: i have no clue what you’re talking about

dick: tim i can see the oven on fire

tim: what’s an oven

Mariette: And, in the end we're all human beans.

Tim: And together we will rice.

Jason: Lettuce pray.

Marinette: Ramen.

Dick: *wiping away his tears while clapping* That was beautiful!

Damian: What did I just witness?

THE COTTAGECORE MARI AU PROMPT THAT NOBODY ASKED FOR

Pairing: Daminette (edit: they’re like 19/20 in this, post high-school)

Rating: It has mature themes, you have been warned. But it’s pretty tame at the same time. Violence + Sexual Themes

________________

Mari is diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety disorder after she quite literally removed her beloved city’s supervillain (and her dear partner’s parent) from the plane of existence. Like she removes the suffering from the mind all of Paris and has Gabriel written off in a car accident a year after his wife’s disappears. Only the her Court (Adrien, Kagami, Zoe, Alix, Max) and the Order remembers - her and Adrien decide not to pursue a relationship. They’re both healing and better off friends - siblings in everything but blood.

Lila, who was not punished due to her not really being a miraculous holder and upsetting the balance, continues to slander Mari. Her class isn’t hostile but has no desire to interact with the “new and mean Marinette” Lila was painting her to be. It’s still a huge betrayal given the fact that Mari was supportive and very generous to these people.

So here’s how her new housing arrangement works: have you ever wondered how Gina can afford to travel around the world without a job? Yeah, I think she came from money. Like, old money - real estate old money to be precise. Passive income and such. Hearing about her Fairy’s situation, she offers an unused property at the countryside of Metropolis.

Marinette’s therapist and parents approve of her vacationing there for the summer when they realize that her stressors and triggers where all environmental. So off our girl goes!

Note: She does not have the mother box with her anymore, just Tikki, Plagg, and Kaalki. (She does have unrestricted access to it as the Grand Guardian though - she trains with the Order once a week in Tibet until she doesn’t)

Mari is aware of the Supers and was relieved that the Kwamis don’t show up in x-ray visions and with the fear of them eavesdropping she learns FSL to communicate with them.

The townhouse and the verdure around the property inspires Mari to start a garden. The quiet oddly soothes her and when she feels lonely she goes into town or the nearby farmer’s market where she charms the locals. She meets the Kents - they love her! Martha enjoys baking with her. Lois uncovers her identity as Jagged and Clara Nightingale’s exclusive (and reclusive) designer - they bond over fashion trends and the gossip surrounding the industry. Clark and Jon were another story.

She figures them out having sensed the same soul in Superman and Superboy in this father-and-son duo. They x-ray her as a precaution and finds the mysterious cracks and evidence of past injuries that should have killed her. There’s a very anti-climatic reveal that Martha and Lois are not privy to with respect to Marinette’s wishes.

At least one Kent would be in her home during the day. The Kwamis are free to roam around when it was Clark and/or Jon visiting. She ends up bonding with Jon who also grew up too fast (metaphorically and literally).

She ends up extending her stay in Metropolis indefinitely. Her parents also decided to open a branch of their patisserie there which Mari managed. They visit her as often as they could.

Mari was dismayed to find that no, Metropolis had no schools with both a fashion and business degree - that’s how she ends up in Gotham University.

Jon tells Mari about a Damian - a friend of his.

J: He’s…. uh… he has a big heart.

M: …

J: He’s a bit of an asshole(?)

M: Ah.

Mari meets Damian who reminds her of Kagami - antisocial and proper. They share a few business classes and are both members of the art club.

Mari is still this ball of anxiousness and has only allowed Mia “Maps” Mizoguchi and Katherine Karlo into her life, the former she learned was close to Damian - she didn’t mind when she and the girls met up with Damian, he was quiet, honest, and minded his own business. Through their hangouts Damian finds out about the friendship between Jon and Mari.

He’s hesitant to befriend her at first due to the conflicting rumors about her: due to her timid personality she had a split reputation. One side called her sweet, shy, and kind. While the other calling her arrogant, high-maintenance, and rude. He soon finds out that the latter half were spread by cliques who’s offer of friendship she declined and men she rejected. He was glad that he relented to Maps’ insistent invitations - she was a decent person to hang out with and it didn’t hurt that she was pleasing to the eye. (She also enjoyed sharing her vegetarian salads with him - he starts appreciating it more when he learns that she picks the vegetables straight from the garden she grows.)

As her luck would have it, a robbery unfolds at one of their favorite coffee spots. Mari and Damian - who were both pretending to be civ - try to find a way to protect their friends. The robbers recognizes Damian as a Wayne and takes him and another GU(a school for rich and affluent people’s children) kid and takes Marinette too who had stood in front of her friends.

They’re gagged, blindfolded, and carted off to who knows where. Damian discreetly activates a distress signal and the bats spur into action. Mari, aware that she was sturdier than Damian, draws the men’s attention to her (she purposely pisses them off and gets beaten up when they start to pester Damian).

M: [removes her gag somehow] Really? A ski mask? And in black? How boring can you get?

*Damian shaking his head furiously in the background*

Kidnapper(KN): Shut up, girlie!

M: You know I always wondered how Kidnappers could have a secret a warehouse as a hideout. It’s not like you can afford the rent—

KN: Are you trying to get yourself killed?

M: You’re backed up by some politician aren’t you?

KN: H-How the fuck did this bitch know?

M: There’s literally a stack of campaign papers behind you.

KN: Wha—

M: That’s some shit graphic design by the way. I’ve seen grade schoolers that can do better.

KN: [points a gun at her] Shut up or I’ll blow your brains out.

M: You wouldn’t.

KN: The fuck do you know—

M: You need me alive to get ransom from my parents.

KN: …Nobody said you had to be in one piece though.

M: Touché—[get slapped hard]

*Damian basically starts convulsing in the background*

M: …Damn. You punch like a cunt—[And the kidnappers basically start to rough her up]

The bats arrive in five minutes and it’s Red Hood that finds them first. He sees these mf’s beating up a woman and goes ballistic(pun intended). Red Robin and Spoiler has to forcibly restrain him when he starts to use his fist instead of his guns.

M: [bleeding and bruised] And that’s how you deck someone, you amateurs.

D: [who was released by Black Bat is confused, mad at himself, and in awe] You blithering idiot! Why the fuck would you aggravate our captors like that?

M: [delirious] It was either you or me Damian. Can’t have your pretty face damaged now, can we?

D: [Is floored and very concerned] And what of yours?

M: … dun worry—my assets are…elsewhere… [passes out from the pain]

D: …

Later, his family would tease him about the flirting when he isn’t all sensitive about the incident.

Winter break comes, most of the Batfam visits the Kents(they have a penthouse/some ridiculous property in Metropolis) as a tradition. The Kents went to visit Gotham and stayed at the manor last year.

(Batfam who went: Bruce, Dick, Jason, Steph, Cass, and Damian)

They visit Mari too. Dick and Steph are absolutely thrilled about her cottagecore lifestyle. So much so that they match her aesthetic and begin helping out in the garden - they send pictures to Alfred who request they bring back fresh produce.

Jon and Jason plot to get Damian and Mari together. Unbeknownst to them that Damian was already resolute on courting Mari like the decorous man that he was - he didn’t know what he was doing but Mari’s flush when he initiates flirting tells him he’s doing okay.

Because of his childhood, Damian was never the type to be touchy but imagine his shock when he finds out that one of his more prominent love languages was physical touch. He realizes he’s touch-starved almost immediately when Mari starts giving him small touches like a hand against his bicep, she had a fondness for touching his hair which never failed to deliver a shiver down his spine, and hugs from her are comforting - she felt like home.

Meanwhile Mari does not have any idea how she survive the early stages of Damian’s advances. He was blunt and did not pull his words with insults but it apparently translated to him being verbally open with his affections.

M: I always wanted to be the Knitting Fairy while growing up.

D: Does it not please you that you became a garden fairy instead?

M: Huh, that doesn’t sound so bad.

D: Well, you certainly look the part.

M: [turns into the same shade as the poppy beside her]

And then when the tension between them became more prominent he wasn’t shy with dropping innuendos too.

M: [open’s the door for Damian, haggard from lifting sacks of garden soil] Oh, I didn’t know you were coming so early. I’m a bit of a mess. Sorry.

D: [Tilts his head] You say that as if I wouldn’t appreciate you sweaty and tousled after a rigorous activity.

M: [self-combusts]

And when the touching began?

M: Damian, what color do you think looks better with this shade of blue?

D: [places a hand on her side while looking over her shoulder] I think the a more neutral cream would do.

M: [stops functioning]

Their first kiss?

Pulled straight out of a book that Marinette only read in the privacy of her bedroom.

They’re teasing each other, it evolves to a game of cat and mouse with Damian skillfully evading her. She corners him by turning on some of her sprinkles. He gets wet, growls in the way he would in Mari’s dreams, and pulls of his shirt. She’s too distracted by the hard planes of his stomach to notice him prowling towards her like a beast moving to claim his prey. He picks her off the ground with ease - he’s a foot taller than her - and takes her to the sprinklers.

(I’m going to write this part out properly, maybe to inspire myself or a potential adopter of this prompt)

“Nononono!” Marinette shrieks as the first round of water splashes her. She writhes but Damian had her arms held down her sides.

“All is fair in love and war, Ya Amar.” She ignores the endearment in favor of closing her eyes as the sprinkles rotate in their direction again. But she knows what it means. Ya Amar. My moon. His moon. The water had nothing on the chill that ran down her spine

The water stars seeping into her intimates and she’s soberly aware that the light fabric of her dress would betray her. It doesn’t take long for Damian to discover that fact, he releases a strangle sound. She opens her eyes, he snaps his eyes from where he was clearly looking at her chest. He scrambles to drop her.

“Shit— I’m sorry. This was not my intention—“ he starts but she’s faster. Her now free arms grasps his shoulders and without a second thought, she drops her lips to meet his. Damian inhales sharply and he tilts his head, temporarily breaking the kiss before raising her higher and pulling her by the back of neck - he kisses her with hunger and passion that has Marinette melting further against his chest.

She wraps her legs around his back and he moves to tightly grasp both the back of her thighs. She would worry about bruises later when she didn’t have Damian’s tongue caressing her own. He drops them to the ground and Marinette does not release her hold over his waist. She whines against his lips when she feels the consequences of their activity.

His hands start wandering as he greedily collects and files the sounds that leaves her lips. He begins to trail kisses down her neck to the neckline of her dress that now clung to her body like a second skin giving him his first peek at the maddening shape of her body. And just when he trails a finger against the underside of her breast a loud noise pulls them apart.

Jason finds them and the sight in Mari’s garden has him dropping the shovel he was asked to bring over.

J: Fuck! No, don’t stop! Hell—I’ll leave—I didn’t see shit!

D: [moving to cover Marinette who covered her face in embarrassment] Fuck off, Todd!

J: I’m sorry! [slams the door shot]

D: Tt.

J: [shouts from inside the house] Use protection!

D: Todd!

They started officially dating that day and Jason had no reservations in sharing that he definitely cockblocked his little brother much to Mari and Damian’s horror.

Both keeps the PDA to minimum in school but it was very clear how amorous they where in “private”. There is a table in the art hall that Mari can’t quite look at without blushing to her roots.

She finds out he’s Robin after her first encounter with his alter-ego. He confesses his past when she confronts him. There’s fear of abandonment in his eyes when he gazes at her after his spiel but she kisses his worries and doubts away. She even goes to show her appreciation for his years of service to Gotham.

Her reveal happens when she unceremoniously drops a vial in Jason’s hand claiming that it would remedy the effects of the Lazarus pits with continuous use - it was completed after a year in the making.

Cardinal joins the Batfam occasionally as part of Batman’s contingency plans. They respect her choice as a retired super-soldier and try to keep her out of the business which she appreciates. She is officially initiated as a member of Justice League Dark as an informant/magic specialist and a wildcard.

Years later, she legally inherits the property from Gina when she and Damian get engaged. Damian moves in with her and she lives her cottage life all while being a reclusive designer that comes out once in a while for fashion week.

FIN

AN:

Maybe there’s a Lila take down somewhere but I don’t have the energy to write her at all. We all know its Damian and Tim that makes sure she never sets a foot in high society ever again.

Ig add some details about learning to healthily cope with her anxiety disorder under the guidance and love of her found family? (I have a similar illness but me and my therapist are still figuring it out so I have little idea how to write this) Her PTSD does not need further discussion (miss ma’am had to kill someone) but her anxiety disorder stems from the fact the she’s a person who’s in charge of world-ending powers - everyone and even yourself can become untrustworthy. She starts to get nervous from misreading body languages and everyone is suddenly out to get her.

Red Robin: -and that’s that losers.

Chat: [walks in] hey batfam! what’s poppin’?

Spoiler: hey chat! red robin was just bragging about his body count.

Chat: [pauses] like partners or…?

Spoiler: murder

Chat: [oddly brightens up and addresses red robin] oh! so what’s your number?

Red Robin: [shrugs] a few hundreds

Chat: like in one go?

Red Robin: …uh yeah- why are you being so casual about this???

Chat: well with the miraculous cure and all that, almost everyone in the court has ended a life somehow.

Red Hood: well, don’t hold back on my account. spill.

Chat: i know viperion had to remove certain variables to succeed in time loops. maybe a few hundreds for him too?

Signal: it’s always the quiet ones, huh?

Chat: oh yeah! the dragon miraculous is our aoe damage dealer. i don’t think most of the victims recovered after being hit by a bolt of lightning. huh, i always wondered why she always used that one.

Signal: …well, there’s no way my dude carapace could have done damage- he’s like your tank or something, right?

Chat: …

Signal: …. right?

Chat: his shield can shrink….

Signal: ….

Chat: … people inside don’t shrink with it

Signal: jesus

Nightwing: oh, do you! do you!

Chat: [suddenly sheepish] well…

Nightwing: ?? well???

Chat: there was this deleted timeline where i became akumatized and drowned all of paris.

Nightwing: holy shit- that’s like what? millions?

Red Robin: 2 million. damn, are you okay?

Chat: mhmm! ladybug made us all go to therapy.

Robin: … what about her?

Chat: oh! oh. oh….

Red Hood: ???? don’t tell me that tiny thing did more damage than you did! isn’t she like creation and shit??

Chat: no! actually when you think about it, ladybug would be on the same estimate as viperion.

Red Hood: oh, thank fuck!

Chat: multimouse has me beat though.

Red Hood: who??? and how???

Red Robin: [pulls out computer from who knows where] marinette dupain-cheng. temporary hero. was outed in battle-

Spoiler: -oooh pretty-

Red Robin: -powers: dividing into smaller copies, retains original strength. what did she do?????

Chat: it’s not in there but each copy can merge with another miraculous. i think the story goes is that she wore all the miraculous in the mother box and destroyed 3 galaxies including ours.

Everyone: …….

Ladybug: [walks in] hello, everyone! [realizes the tension] errm, what’s wrong?

Robin: [without skipping a beat] is it wise to keep marinette dupain-cheng alive?

Ladybug: [is marinette but they don’t know that] ?????????!!!!!!!!

thought of this after reading that tim freaked out after bruce “died” and blew up a lot of people

Damian, to himself as he paces around his room, trying to put his feelings into words: Marinette is a work of art. Specifically, a stained glass work of art. Because when the sun hits her she lights up a room in all of her beauty and I fall in love all over again.

Dick, Jason, and Tim eavesdropping on him: Holy. Shit.

Incorrect Daminette Quotes

Ladybug: (vaulting behind a crate while an explosion occurs) Okay time for plan G.

Red Hood: Don’t you mean plan B?

Ladybug: We are well past plan B, we skipped over plan C due to Nightwing getting knocked unconscious.

Red Robin: What about plan D?

Ladybug: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago where Robin and I make out as a distraction.

Robin: (still sitting stunned in the corner muttering) She kissed me? She- she actually kissed…

Ladybug: And I’m not doing plan E, because that involves a level of property damage that I’m not okay with.

Red Hood: (readies an explosive) I’m prepared to make that sacrifice!

Damian the Dog

Inspired by Grumpy Cat, written by @adrestar

------

So what if Marinette moved to Gotham Academy, probably because of Lila bullshit or Guardian Duties.

She is mostly alone so she get a dog who she named Damian.

I actually look up on what type of dog she would have because I don't have a lot of knowledge on dogs. I wanted a small cute black dog. I am going with a Pomeranian or a Scottish Terrier.

It's all fine and going dandy. When one day, Damian overhears the new girl talking about him.

Marinette of course has zero interest in celebrities so she has no clue she is in the same class as Damian Wayne. Her classmates asked if she had any pets so she starts talking about her cute little Dami and showing off pictures of him.

"Look at my Dami. Isn't he adorable?" Marinette cooed, "I just love running my hands through those thick black luscious hair."

Damian gets the idea that Marinette is a stalker or a fangirl who is deluded herself into thinking she is dating him but brushes her off as mostly harmless. He can correct her at any time she steps out of the line.

Let the misunderstandings commence!

Fast forward the next few days, where Marinette keeps talking about her dog and no one has clued her in on the fact that there is a human with the same name as her dog going to classes with her.

Human Damian thinks she has very active imagination, going as far as to fake bite marks on her arms after a supposed passionate embrace.

(Damian the Dog is still being trained. Idk abt raising dogs so I hope I am right.)

The weekend arrive and Damian is at the dog park with Titus. Then he heard the insufferable voice calling out for him,

"Damian. Where are you? Come out. Damian. Dami."

He hid himself for a while, hoping she will give up sooner or later. But no, she keeps coming closer to the spot where he was hiding and calling out his name. Then, Titus blew his cover by coming back with the ball he was sent to fetch.

Thinking he had no choice but to reveal himself, he burst out of the bushes, scaring Marinette.

Meanwhile, Marinette was at the dog park to let Damian out of the apartment and get some exercise. She was kept an eye on him as he ran around but after a phone call from Jagged Stone for a new jacket, she had lost sight of her dog.

Then, while she looked for Damian the dog, someone jumped out of the bushes, giving her a scarce.

She realised that he was a boy from her classes and before she could ask if he had seen her dog, he began yelling at her.

"Listen up, harlot. Get out of your delusional fantasies of dating me and leave me alone." He yelled at a very confused Marinette. Human Damian continued to threaten her with lawsuits on the grounds of stalking, defamation and false claims.

Marinette gets fucking pissed at what the rude guy was yelling at her for no reasons but before she could retort, he stomped away with his dog trailing behind him.

"Come on, Titus. We don't have spend more time with this waste of space."

Marinette is so furious that if she was in Paris, she would have been akumatised for sure. She decided to calm down and go look for Damian, not the human. Arriving at home, she found a lawyer waiting for her and they handed her a thick files of all the charges she was being sued for. It was official she had met someone worse than the Chloe Bourgeosis.

So Marinette decides to stress bake about the problem. Ultimately, she made too much and decided to give away some to her next door neighbour, Jason.

Marinette had been living in Gotham for about a month and Jason knows about her habit to stress bake. They first met when Jason accidentally snuck up on her and she judo-flipped him who was 3 times bigger than her. Jason is impressed and Marinette is mortified. They became friends. Jason cooks her meals sometimes and she bake him desserts. It was a fair trade.

Anyway, Jason asks about her problem and Marinette starts a rant about this rich entitled dick she met who was from her class and she had coincidentally met him at the dog park while looking for Damian. Then, he called her a bunch of insults and names, accused her of stalking him and he had sent lawsuits to her address. Which was bad because she had her business as MDC to consider and this will affect her income.

While ranting, Marinette saw Jason's law degree which he had displayed, partially for his cover as a normal civi but mostly to brag to his siblings about being the only one who graduated from college and law school and rub it in Bruce's face. (We all seen the Jason became a lawyer to get Joker a death sentence post right? So Joker is dead here.)

"Can you be my lawyer? Or can you recommend me one? I promise I can pay you."

Jason patted her head, "Pixie, I will do this for free. I don't know which prick decided to mess with you but I will make him pay. Besides, I can't stand guys like that. You are actually doing me a bit of a favor to knock someone like that down a few pegs. Legally."

Marinette insisted to pay him but Jason compromised to get a cake for an entire month instead for taking the job.

When Jason looked through the papers, he noticed it was from the Wayne Family Lawyers so he decided to go to the Manor to get to the bottom of it. Jason arrived in the middle of Damian on a warpath.

He asked Tim who was the closest and furiously typing on his laptop about what is going on with Damian.

Tim answered, "Apparently there's this girl who is stalking Damian. She claimed to be dating him at school and she showed up while he was out with Titus, looking for him. Right now, I am just checking if she is just delusional and harmless or someone dangerous."

Jason connects the dots between Dog Damian and Human Damian and he tried not to burst out laughing right then and there. "That's good to hear. Anyways, I came here because I forgot something. I am going to see Alfred before I go. Have fun with the lawsuits."

Jason spent the rest of the way home, cackling and the funniest way to win the case.

On the day of the court date,

The rest of the Waynes are surprised to see Jason there in a suit. Dick was understandable, Tim was just there to make sure it goes smoothly, Bruce is also reasonable, Damian is the 'victim'.

"Todd, why are you here?"

"You'll see."

Then, they started telling people to enter before they could get more answers. They soon found out that Jason was the lawyer for the other side.

"Todd, you traitor. How dare you work for the opposition!"

Marinette had arrived with a pet carrier with a dog which Damian claimed was to appeal to his animal lover side.

blah blah blah. Legal procession. I don't know how it goes.

Anyways, it is time for Marinette's defense.

"Your honor, I would like to present evidence which proved that my cilent is innocent in all the charges the plaintiff has accused her of."

"Proceed."

Jason brought out the pet carrier and took out Dog Damian.

"Your honor, this is my client's dog. She was gifted this dog before she moved here to Gotham. I have the receipts to prove this."

"What is the point of this?"

Jason dramatically held up the adorable fluffy black dog which looked like a doll in his hands, "Your honor, the dog's name is Damian." Jason claimed while staring straight at Human Damian.

Dog Damian woofed at the sound of his name. There was a shocked silence that followed.

Jason proceed to give more evidence that yes, the dog name is actually Damian like giving commands using his name and adoption certificate to get rid of any doubt.

"He claimed to have heard her talking about her dating but what were the actual words you heard her say?"

"That I am adorable and she likes running her fingers through my soft dark hair."

"Your honor, my cilent was actually bragging about how cute her dog is and how she likes petting Damian the dog's obviously black fur. And you also claimed that she stalked you to the dog park and called out your name several time. She was there by coincidence because the park is the closest to her apartment and she was calling his name because she had lost sight of Damian. Dog Damian I mean. It was Human Damian's fault for assuming she was calling out for him."

Jason continued to explained how each claim was Damian's own misunderstanding of the situation and there are statements from his classmates who confirmed that Marinette was talking about her pet dog. They didn't told her about Human Damian because they found it funny that her dog had the same name.

"In addition, my cilent had no idea who Damian Wayne was. Only knowing him as her classmate. "

Tim is right now filming and having the best time of his life as he watched Damian wished that the ground would swallow him whole. Dick is trying so hard not to laugh while Bruce's lips were twitching.

Jason decides to make a counter-law suit for the emotional damage and potential financial damage Human Damian had caused Marinette by suing her for millions when she was just a struggling student, getting by on her own income in a foreign country.

Marinette stopped him, "Jason, this is enough. I am fine with a hand-written apology."

"The amount I am asking for is just a drop of water of an ocean for them. They are that filthy rich. Besides, you can get that motorcycle side-car for Damian you had been eyeing a while ago. You can also use the money to buy dog stuff that you couldn't before because of your budget."

Marinette hesitated and agreed. The case ended with it in Marinette's favor.

Tim approached them as they exited with Marinette hugging Damian (the dog) and Jason grinning in glee over his victory and simultaneously humiliated Damian (the human) in the process. Tim high-fived Jason.

Tim offered a job to Marinette because he had done a background check on her due to the potential threat she posed and found out about MDC. He does it because he liked her talent and it would look great to have Wayne Enterprise on her resume. Also the best dirt on Damian.

Marinette told him that she would think about it and he gave her a card.

Damian wrote the apology letter, very embarrassed by the entire trial. His pride wouldn't recover for a while and he took it out on Jason who knew about it the entire time and didn't tried to stop and clear up the misunderstanding.

The next day at school, Marinette went to Damian's seat and said, "Good morning, Human Damian."

"Why are you calling me like that?"

"I am sorry. I thought you would appreciate the clarification of which Damian I am referring to. I wouldn't want to end up in court again after being branded as a delusional fangirl of yours because I was just talking about my adorable Dami. I meant to say My adorable dog, Dami. Human Damian."

For the next few months, everyone keeps referring to Damian as Human Damian.

Jason: Have you ever thought about what it'd be like to look God in the face and call them a bitch?

Plagg, sitting up from where he was laying: Marinette says it to me every day.

Marinette: It's true. Plagg, you're a bitch.

Jason: Pft.

Roadside Inspiration

“Eyes on the road!” Adrien’s voice boomed throughout the car; voice distorted through the car speakers.

Marinette squeaked, eyes snapping back to the road as the car swerved slightly, which on the backroad she was on, was particularly dangerous.  The roads were narrow with no shoulders.  There was barely enough room for two cars and no room for error.  “Don’t do that!” she screeched back, one hand flying to her chest to calm her now racing heart.  “And I am keeping my eyes on the road.  I know how to drive a car, Adrien!” she growled, fully ignoring the fact that at the time, her eyes were not, in fact, on the road.

“You’re seriously going to tell me you aren’t allowing yourself to get distracted looking for the perfect view in all the lavender?” he scoffed.

Marinette opened her mouth and snapped it shut.  “Yes,” she answered resolutely, with a curt nod to emphasize the point despite knowing full well that he couldn’t see it.

Adrien snorted at the baldfaced lie.  “Sure, Maribug.  We’re just leaving Marseilles now.  How far from the venue are you?”

“Prat,” she grumbled.  She may get easily distracted and she may not be used to driving a car, it wasn’t like she had many opportunities in Paris, but she was an excellent scooter driver and really, how different was it?  And she was keeping her eyes on the road!  It was just the occasional glance to the side to look at the stretching fields of lavender.  It was a positive thing really.  They encourage you to be aware of your surroundings when you drive!

Keep reading

So I love the fics of the Batfam finding out Jason is alive and has been alive for a while through the mosy random circumstances, but what if he got got back to Gotham a bit saner and decided to just... see how long it took his family to notice him?

Like food goes missing from the kitchen and Alfred can't figure it out for the life of him until he catches Jason raiding the fridge at two am.

Tim sees Jason sneaking around the manor and just assumes he's hallucinating again.

Bruce notices things around the cave have been moved or are missing and scolds Dick and Tim, who keep denying it was them.

Some of My Favorite Batfam Fic Tropes

In no particular order:

 - The batfam have their own language of chirps, trills, tweets, and whistles, and they use it in front of other ppl (civilians, the jla, whatever) and the other ppl go “what the actual fuck”

 - Bruce throwing the batarang at Jason Todd’s neck actually Does Damage™, and eventually the other members of the family find out and lose their shit

 - “Hey Tim?” “Yeah?” “Where’s your fucking spleen :)” “Lost it.” “LOST IT??”

 - Damian calling his brothers Akhi :)

 - “How many kids do you HAVE??” -The entire Justice League

 - Jason going to Titans Tower, seeing Tim, saying “is anyone gonna parent that” and then not waiting for an answer.

 - Literal Toddler Tim Drake informing the Batfamily that yes he knows everyone’s identity, and really if you didn’t want people to figure it out you should stop showing off your extremely niche skills during patrols Nightwing.

 - “Dude your son is a crime boss.” “Ex-crime boss :/”

 - A Batfamily member hearing someone talk about their civilian identity (bc, yknow,, they’re famous) and just having to Deal With It because what the fuck else are they supposed to do??

 - The Justice League hearing about Batman and assuming he (& his family) are demons or vampires or some other cryptid, and then meeting him and finding out he’s just Some Guy.

 - The batfamily learning the origin of the name Robin

- The Justice League meeting the Batfamily and specifically learning who Red Hood is, and one of the heroes nervously asks “Didn’t the second Robin.. die?” and Jason just goes “yeah lol”

Oh, I love this an inordinate amount.

This guy covers children's songs in the style of various artists, and he's incredible.

I'm weirdly emotional about it?

New headcanon that the whole family carries on their own versions of the Brucie Wayne persona in order to keep up appearances, giving the whole family a reputation of a bunch of beautiful idiots. Everyone EXCEPT Damian. He understands the necessary evil of it, but he can't. He can't do it y'all it's beneath him.

So this child, who is known among the other children at his school to talk like he swallowed a dictionary and get into screaming matches with his history teachers, gets the title of The Wayne Family's Single Brain Cell. This is furthered by the fact that every time he's seen in public he has an exhausted expression on his face like

He becomes a localized meme. The Baby Wayne, fighting for his life every day against his family of well meaning morons.

I firmly believe that Jason Todd was the scrawniest Robin by a very wide margin (he was both short and a beanpole) he earned the nickname Little Wing by literally being a spec of a child.

Sure, all the robins were small (they’re kids) but Jason was notably scrawny.

This is why basically no one saw it coming that he was Red Hood. My man died, fucked off for four years, experienced puberty and came back 14 inches taller and built like a fridge.

My most referenced meme is actually this sign from a furniture store's going out of business sale in my hometown.

ya know how it’s canon that damian was taking acting lessons with carrie? and that he was really good at it?

what if that’s his civilian job when he’s older?

like we know some of the bats have civilian jobs. bruce, obviously, runs WE. tim is CEO. dick is a cop.

what if damian’s civilian job is an actor?

i know it wouldn’t make total sense bc he’d probably have to leave set randomly in the middle of a scene because he’d have to go on a mission but hear me out.

we know he loved acting because he gets to be someone else. carrie says this:

and then damian says the same thing in super sons

yeah he could’ve been saying that to fuck with jon but because carrie said the same thing, i think he was being honest.

and besides, look at how he played that old man. that is a jolly old fella and i personally read it in sweet old man voice.

and the disguises he always chooses when going undercover are outfits like these

and yes you could say that it’s just a gag bit the writer put in to be funny or you could say that that’s how damian feels like “normal” people dress and he’s trying to fit in but to me!! i feel like it’s him trying to be the opposite of how he is. you know, being somebody else.

plus he’s so good with voices. he could easily put on any accent necessary.

and so i think he would be an actor. yeah, he wouldn’t be able to be in gotham all the time filming movies and stuff, but personally i love the idea of damian being like dick and moving out of gotham to become his own hero/person.

he’d get the opportunity to experience what it’s like to be someone else, someone who wasn’t taught to kill someone before they could walk, someone who wasn’t forced to grow up way too fast, someone who doesn’t have to risk their life every single night, somebody who doesn’t have to hold possibly the world’s biggest secret. he could embrace being a completely different person, even if it’s only for a few hours at a time.

and imagine how funny it would be for the batfamily to turn on their tv and watch their mean, stern little brother have a wide smile with an australian accent in a romantic comedy.

jason storming out of the manor after damian insulted him 30 times and then he turns on his tv to get his mind off it and there damian is on a beach searching for treasure side-by-side with tom holland

damian in a wired google search interview and the first result is “is damian wayne robin?” and damian just sighs.

damian on a press tour in an interview and he’s just shooting the shit with jennifer anniston.

tim watching the tiktok edits of damian and just silently fuming at the comments that are like “he’s so babygirl”

damian getting an offer for a star wars movie and yeah, he might hate star wars because the lightsaber duels follow no sword fighting etiquette but he takes the role anyways so that tim can’t watch his beloved star wars without seeing damian wielding a light saber with ewan mccgregor

would dc do it? no definitely not and logistically it wouldn’t work because crimefighter hours probs do not mesh with 14 hour days on set. however!! imagine damian in a buzzfeed puppies interview.

okay something I was thinking about yesterday was how Tomoe clearly wants Kagami and Adrien to be together because of status, right? Adrien is an adequate match for Kagami in terms of wealth and upraising?

I simply think it would be really funny if Kagami chose to date Felix instead and Tomoe couldn't even be mad because Felix is, if anything, more adequate than Adrien - more money, more status, he's even lined up for lordship in Britain. And he's a gentleman, too - he only does what is expected of him socially.

And she hates him so much but there's nothing she can do, no argument she can make, because he's - on every tangible level - perfect, just really really fucking annoying.

I used to be torn between Damian being like 5’4 forever or becoming tall like his mom and dad, but now I’m obsessed with the idea of him just suddenly sprouting to 6’5 (195) at the age of 16, surpassing his entire family by miles, but all of his friends are somehow even taller than him. Jon is 6’7, Colin is 6’6, Billy is 7’ (213) when he’s Captain Marvel. They still call him short at every opportunity, and it pisses him off almost as much as the realization that he’s also tall enough for most of daily life to now be a general nuisance.

He has to crouch to fit under shower-heads. Most door frames are a walking hazard. He gets smacked in the face with tree branches. His clothes never fit right. He has to contort himself every time Tim drives the Batmobile before him and forgets to adjust the seat back. He needs to eat SO MUCH all the the time. His feet stick off the bed. His knees don’t fit under tables. He’s still a master of stealth, but now he can’t fit through vents, and it is so fucking annoying that he regrets ever wanting to be tall and wishes he was 4’11 again.

happy deathday to my baby boy😢sorry I'm late again.

huge news for my fellow fictional map enthusiasts. i think i just found a (semi-)canon map of wayne manor

in remembrance of that anon that i tragically lost, here are some recs for THE most underutilised duo in the batfam. i could write ridiculously long essays about the tragedy of these two characters, and how they could become something great, if dc would get a grip a let tim grow up, preferably in the next decade. no complaints about damian. he is perfect.

this is also a cry for HELP. PLEASE write more big brother tim fics i am literally on the verge of collapsing as i ask. he is so unprepared but well meaning big brother so let him carry out his duty towards damian and duke PLEASE.

right then, anyways:

TIM AND DAMIAN FIC RECS ON AO3

miles and miles (in their shoes) by JUBE514

Where is Damian? Why can’t he see anything clearly? Where is the little brat? Damian had been by him in the cave when everything had exploded, they had been arguing like always when the two of them had gotten the punishment to go clean the trophy room, stop yelling at each other, stop being at each other's throat for two minutes and go clean the goddamn trophy room-

They had been cleaning, got into another knock out drag out argument, and it had come so close to blows and they had been screaming more than cleaning and-

The stupid fucking shoe, in the magical section- exploded out-

--

Tim and Damian switch bodies, the two of them realize exactly why the other does the things they do.

MY NOTES: i know body swap aus can be a little worrying, but this is a phenomenal fic on not just the complicated relationship between tim and damian, but also their own individual struggles and how that brings them closer together in an unspoken yet profound way. a must read if you appreciate the characters in their entirety.

Biphasic Reaction by renecdote

People may have allergic reactions all the time and be fine, but they can also die from them. He has a flash of sudden, morbid curiosity about what the exact statistics for fatal allergic reactions are.

MY NOTES: secretly protective big brother tim u mean the world to me. they are so fun in this, even with the medical emergency occurring alongside the sillies.

i only sink deeper (the deeper i think) by call_me_steve

Drake clicks his tongue and tilts his head off to the side. “This really isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.”

Oh, really? Damian starts furiously finger spelling, just to be annoying. You know, I thought the floating platforms would be of the utmost excitement.

“I caught a solid half of that and I think you’re making fun of me.” Drake goes to shift before remembering that he can’t - his face beneath his domino contorts into something unpleasant. “My legs are falling asleep, dude.”

You move, signs Damian, for real this time, and I go under.

“You talk,” Drake shoots back. “And I go under."

MY NOTES: it wouldn't be a real saki fic rec post without at least one kidnapped and almost dying in order to escape fic. i think about the conversation about love and danger at least once a week at random intervals and do not know how to be normal about it. at all.

The Wound Begins to Bleed by audreycritter

Now that Tim’s moved back to the manor, he just wants a few afternoons a week without Damian around.

Funny how getting that was the catalyst for him becoming a better big brother.

MY NOTES: okay so maybe i've read this a billion times and maybe it's my favourite tim and damian fic ever to exist but isn't that just proof you need to read it too? such a real fic. so personal. can't think of anything else but u must read it

picture perfect memories by Fandom_Trash224

“I… require assistance with something. I believe you are best-suited for it.”

Tim raises an eyebrow, but motions for the younger boy to enter his room. As Damian does, he slowly closes the door behind him, and Tim notices a small piece of what Tim assumes to be paper in Damian’s hand. Then, he realizes it’s not just a piece of paper: it’s a photo.

Damian approaches Tim, holding out the photo at arm’s length once he’s close enough to do so, saying, “I would like you to explain this photo to me.”

Tim glances down at it, and to both his surprise and mild horror, he recognizes the photo.

MY NOTES: oh... oh. Oh i am on the ground dead forever. damian and tim bonding over the shared fact that they got a version of bruce they'll never, ever meet. finding a common ground in grieving something they never had. oh.... how marvelous.

The Study of Birds by MaskoftheRay

Tim and Damian have hated one another since the day that the youngest Wayne arrived in Gotham City. A few years later, that hatred has cooled into a mutual disdain and somewhat-wary tolerance. If necessary, they can even work together— though neither likes to. Then Tim discovers that Damian enjoys bird-watching too.

Or: sometimes the difficult things are the most rewarding.

MY NOTES: truly something so special about stories where tim and damian find comfort and something to cherish in animals. a middle ground born from compassion and empathy perhaps. so sweet.

Writing Prompt - MLB x DC

This was an idea I had wanted to put in my current work, but couldn't fit in:

Marinette wanting to make a website that is protected (old one could have been damaged by Lila), but doesn't have the experience or time to figure it out on her own, so

a) she asks Penny if she knows anyone who could help her out.

or

b) she posts an ad on a forum

The first response she gets ends up being from Barbara, and the two of them become good friends fast. Marinette designs something for Barbara as a thank you, and the bat boys are trying to figure out how she managed to get a custom MDC.

(this could also be either daminette or platonic maribat).

idk if i'll write this, but if someone wants to, please tag me?

Damian thinks Mari can't understand arabic (au)

Damian : "Good morning habib albi." "Have you eat ya hayati?" "I'm so glad I meet you ya amar..."

Marinette : *Trying so hard to hide her blush* "Yes..."

Maribat AU where Robin gets kidnapped and ends up getting free about a week later but is In Paris doing a akuma attack and thinks the whole thing is a drunk induced dream.

This means that Robin is just going abselutly creazy and fighting and jumping of buildings and acting as if nothing can hurt him as he thinks it’s a dream.

And then we have ladybug who finds this hero on her home turf, acting absolutely crazy and kicking ass while doing it.

And bc Robin doesn’t think this is real anyway her flirts with her the whole time, but in a fun way.

This goes on for a while (it’s a long battle and Chat is nowhere to find (Adrian got killed early in the attack) (the miraculous cure will bring him back Don’t worry)) and then at one point robin does get hurt, and finally realize that like, shit this is not a dream.

And ladybug is like, I freaking wish it was a dream dude I have to fight this shit every second day.

Anyway, they have a angsts conversation and ladybug comes with a absolutely crazy battle plan that just leaves robin sitting there like??? I have had military levels strategy classes since I was 10 how tf did you make this plan?? And ladybug is like, it’s gonna work, trust me. And robin is like, bet.

(They do actually bet a date )

No surprise for anyone but robin, ladybugs plan works. And they win the battle and all is great + they have a icecream date at the lovers icecream place thingy.

( + a scene where Robin is like??? Why are shops still open y’all were just attacked, and ladybug is like, we do this everyday & we don’t have enough fucks left to give about this butterfly furry to shut down the stores everytime)

And then Robin has to go home and Ladybug gives him a lift with the butterfly miraculous.

(Droppes him of at the manor going “I found your birdy” and then winks at Robin and hearts away. That batfam is just there like???? The fucj just happened also are you okay?)

And then after that robin and Ladybug keep in contact over comes and do date night in each other’s city’s for a few months before something really dumb reveals their identities.

There's something about Marinette turning into a thief stealing lost miraculous that's just so captivating, you know? Because you have a character that's kind, dedicated her teenager ages to save people and suffered due to that, who then had to turned into a thief to avoid people going through the same she did before then...

You just have a flashy hero who everyone knew about turning into a fugitive who tries to never be seen, who hides into the shadows. Her motivations are the same, she's still the same kind girl who everyone loved, and that would do anything to protect people, but instead of a beloved superheroine, she's a wanted thief who everyone hates...

Green Eyed

Damian glared watching some guy stand next to Marinette. He knew his girlfriend had become popular very quickly, after she had to moved from Paris to Gotham. She was known for her kindness and smiles. He knew she had a bit of trouble, at the start, but she seemed to be making friends. The moment the guy leaned in close to her; he saw red.

‘Who does he think he is?’

Damian quickly strode over and stood next to Marinette. She said nothing and waited for the guy, in front of her, to continue. The guy looked between them, confused.

“Did you need something, Wayne?” he questioned.

Before he could answer, Marinette spoke up, “Damian, this is Declan. He’s in my literature class. We have a project with partners about the red A.”

“The Scarlet Letter.” the guy corrected, “I was just asking Marinette to meet me, after school, at the café on 25th and Brighton.”

“You will come to the manor.” Damian declared.

“What?” Declan asked.

“You will come to Wayne Manor.” the Wayne heir restated, “I was unaware you had an issue with your hearing.”

Declan sneered with a glare, “Now why would we do that, Wayne?”

Damian wrapped his arm around Marinette’s waist and answered, “My girlfriend lives with me.”

Declan looked between the Ice Prince and the Foreign Beauty everyone raved about. He heard whispers in the halls about a foreign exchange student who looked like a doll. She had ebony hair and blue doll-like eyes with pink lips. You would have thought they were describing a Disney princess from how they talked. The moment she walked into his class, he couldn’t keep his off of her. He thought the project was his chance to ask her out, but he had been wrong. Declan just nodded his head as the truth sunk in.

“Sure.” he replied, “Whatever.” walking away.

Marinette smiled, as she switched to French, “Were you jealous, My Love?”

“No.” Damian quipped.

“Green is such a pretty color on you.” Mari replied.

Damian looked away, but she was quick to notice his red-tipped ears. She grabbed his arm and used it as leverage to kiss his cheek.

“So is red.” Marinette whispered, “I'l see you after math for lunch.”

Damian quickly pulled her close and kissed her pink lips, as the bell rang.

“I’ll see you at lunch, Angel.” he spoke.

“Demon.” she winked and walked off to her next class.

PERMANENT TAG LIST:  @animeweebgirl​ @animegirlweeb​ @abrx2002​ @blueblossombliss​ @thepaceperson​ @alysrose-starchild​ @marveldcedits20​ @09shell-sea09​ @nickristus-dreamer​ @saltymiraculer​ @icerosecrystal​ @vixen-uchiha​ @a-star-with-a-human-name​ @meme991001​ @fandom-trapped-03​ @dood-space​ @moonlightstar64​ @insane-fangirl-of-everything

Murder is question and the answer is yes.

Wisdom I learned from either memes or ao3

They're definitely going for Lila first.

bc marinette should have a chinese name:

i was messing around with chinese names bc i figured marinette would 100% have one given that sabine is a first gen immigrant— so came up with this:

cheng meiyun!! (or 郑梅运）

because sabine is mandarin, “cheng” is probably “zheng”—郑. i toyed around with how it could also be “zhang” because “cheung” is zhang, but she’s not cantonese, so… 

“mei” (梅）— “梅花“ (mei hua) means plum blossom, but mei by itself could also be a substitute for that! n the flower designs on marinette’s undershirt could very well be plum blossoms… 👀

plum blossoms also symbolize perseverance and hope!! 

“yun” (运）— means luck! honestly this is self explanatory in marinette’s case shfljksdfkj 

also a play on words, but although the “mei” in marinette’s name means plum (blossom), another meaning for “mei” (with the character “没”) means none, so her name could also be read aloud as “no luck” bc as much as she’s supposed to be lucky as ladybug we’ve seen marinette horribly unlucky too :’)) i love double meanings and plays on words even though no sane parent would name their child no luck 

What do you mean the latest villain in Nightwing’s solo was in the audience the night Dick’s parents died? Is there anyone in the DC’s universe that was NOT at this show?

As much as I love Dick and Damian’s relation, no way in HELL would Dick actually be that soft on him- like excusing his actions or favouring him over the rest of his siblings.

You wanna tell me Dick’ll immediately accept him and start showing him love. PLEASE. The man would take one look at the angry child craving revenge and immediately get flashbacks to his original days as Robin. He earns newfound respect for Bruce as he realises just how much of a chaotic gremlin he was.

But he can’t use empathy. Because while Dick was mad and wanted revenge for his parents, Damian doesn’t know any better and quite frankly even kills just to be petty. You can’t tell me Dick doesn’t pull out the logic stops and parallels Bruce training him.

The way he grills Damian harder, trains him to be faster and makes him spar knowing Damian would always lose. Because sure, it may not have always worked for Dick but it was perfect for humbling Damian.

When Dick finds out Damian tried killing Tim, you can’t tell me he won’t see red. He won’t allow another brother to die or get hurt, not on his watch. He’d give Damian a final line, a line he won’t hesitate to fire back with all he’s got if Damian crosses it. Dick would try to be empathetic, but not this far.

He’d divide his time, trying to figure out Damian and how to encourage him to choose his own path, while maintaining a strict code Damian has to follow to prevent him doing down the wrong one.

If Damian commits murder that is justified, or crimes that serve a greater good, he’ll dump Damian in Jason’s care to help him understand how grey areas work, but sometimes black and white does exist.

If Damian demands logical reasoning, Dick’ll escort him to Tim so the two can have an intellectual battle (if Tim agrees that is, but the chance to put the brat in his place is always too good for Tim to pass up)

Maybe Damian sees the warmth Dick has for his brothers, how they care for him in their own way and it helps him recognise how he can change too, in his own way.

All I’m saying- They may be close, but Dick wouldn’t have blatant favouritism, nor would he try and exclude his brothers or brush them off in favour of Damian. Dick knows how to be a team player, and utilise his team to complete missions too. Damian needed balance in all areas, and Dick knows he can’t do it alone.

Dick would help Damian, pay more attention to listen to his arguments to the others as Damian doesn’t have much of a reliable data to cross reference or emotional triggers or morals that Dick knows about, so he can’t “know” the person- therefore all his advice will be taken with a grain of salt.

But it does not make him excuse Damian actions, instead he’d be strict Batman style parent who won’t hesitate to take his brothers’ side over Damian if he’s wrong, and will strike back if he crosses certain lines.