When The Times Get Rough And I Lose Sight Of The Goal I Just. Reread “the Orange” By Wendy Cope

So I've seen this circling in both TERF circles and in trans circles...

"Stop saying this is a genocide against trans people, that's disrespectful to Jewish people!"

First, it is perfectly accurate to call something a genocide when politicians are openly saying at rallies "transgenderism must be eliminated". That is calling for genocide!!

Second, there is more than one way to commit genocide; it doesn't just mean "forcing them to wear symbols, rounding them up and murdering them in camps". Genocide includes inflicting great harm to a group of people with the intent of erasing them from existence. Many different groups of people have had genocide committed against them, including the indigenous people of the Americas.

Denying trans people the right to transition, making it illegal to talk about trans people in school, forcibly detransitioning trans people, forcing them to live in the closet, forcing them to be sterilized in order to transition, labeling "living with a trans person" as child abuse so you can take away their children, and making it illegal to openly identify as trans, are all acts of genocide. They are all designed to destroy trans people.

Jewish couple from Galicia, ca. 1890s

In my experience a lot of the shit trans men get from within the queer community comes down to ignoring half of our identity in favor of the other half

Either were men and therefore are basically the same as cis men

Or were trans so they'll use gender neutral/ inclusive language while still reducing us to our sex assigned at birth

Anyway remember how some of the very same people who are mad that Scary Trans Woman Politician posted horny genshin impact art of fictional adults because "the art style is often used for lolita works depicting sexualized minors" are also in the same group that were mad that fire emblem's english localization changed Anna's lines to be significantly less sexually provocative because she's literally 11 and that means they weren't able to have their 11 year old wifu in english.

Tldr they're all a bunch of fucking hypocrites.

"terfs infantalise trans men while painting trans women as predatory" is such an annoying take because, yes part of it is true. but terfs have also called trans men "the final solution for women", they do also paint us as predatory! and they do infantilise young trans girls in really gross ways! they just rarely mention what they think of older trans men, most of their public-facing rhetoric around us centers on young people.

the more accurate statement then is "terfs tend to infantilise younger trans people while painting older trans people as predatory", with the following caveats: - being neurodivergent in any way lands you in the "younger" category in their minds because they're ableist fucks. - anecdotally i've found this is not necessarily reflective of age when it comes to public figures specifically, and more of how recent their coming out as trans was. - they will gladly break this to score points in public debates, though if you're in a position to get it out of them you'll find their actual thinking aligns with it. this is a well-known strategy called lying.

and i feel it's worth noting both because the predatory "tropes" around trans men are slightly different from those around trans women, and because the infantilisation of trans girls is something i rarely see talked about while being just as gross as anything else here.

disabled people have talked already about how inappropriate it is to touch or grab their mobility aids. but less often i think do people know how to act if they were asked to hold, retrieve, or touch someone's aid (such as crutches or canes as these are the aids i have used and am familiar with)

being friends, family, or partners with a disabled person doesn't grant permission to touch their aids at any time. furthermore having permission to touch an aid - to hold it, pick it up, or retrieve it etc - doesn't give permission to touch or play with them as you please. while keeping in mind that different people's boundaries will vary, here are some things not to do with someone mobility aid:

don't fiddle, stim, or play with it

don't wave it or swing them around

don't hold it by the handle the owner uses to utilize it

do not use the device

do not "test it out"

do not lean your weight on it

[in the case of crutches] do not use them to hop or otherwise take your feet off the ground for fun

try not to drop them or make them unclean

do not adjust any settings

do not use them as a weapon or play-weapon

do not walk immediately behind the air user/out of sight

try not to flip them upside down

what you should do instead:

return the aid immediately when asked. no delays because you were not done with them

hold the aid(s) upright, out of the way from other people by the main body

ask before touching or negotiate times when it is okay to grab without asking (such as if they have been dropped or are falling)

give the aid user increased space and distance to use them safely

try to make sure you aren't forcing an aid user to walk on a sloped path (such as on the pavement/sidewalk)

most importantly, don't take someone's boundaries around their mobility device personally, regardless of how close you two are. disabled people deserve autonomy over the things that support and supplement their body functions just as much as their own body.

This post is for the mentally ill and ND people who do harmful things. Those who struggle with anger, aggression, and violence. Those who are manipulative, who do and say things that hurt people. Those who do all these things and more - who don't get why it's harmful due to havig no empathy, sympathy, compassion, remorse, etc.

Doing things that are wrong doesn't make you any less deserving of a good, safe, and fulfilling life. It doesn't make you a monster. It doesn't mean you deserve pain or discrimination. It doesn't mean you deserve to be alone, ostracized, and discarded. It doesn't make your existence wrong.

You're still here with the rest of us. You still have needs, wants, and rights. Some of the things you do may not be good or excusable, but you are a whole person. You are a whole person, and you deserve better. And I hope you get that someday, whatever it means to you.