Do I Hate It When People Worry About Me? Hell Yea! Does It Feel Nice To Know That Someone Gives A Shit

Happy Easter y'all :D

If alcohol bad then why so tasty? Why it make me happy :(

I got a new book to reeeaaad

I don't read a lot (I used to inhale books as a kid and I have my fanfiction phases, but I just don't have tiiiimeee and when school is stressful the last thing I want to do is read even more 🥲)

But I'm supper excited for this one

I'm so torn between wanting to move out and get as sick as possible living alone and wanting to be recovered by then.

Because the ed part of me has been waiting for that since I first developed it, but then I actually want to make it in life, maybe I'll be studying physics or chemistry and I'll NEED brain power for that, and I can't keep thinking about food 24/7 then, I know it'll likely never fully go away and at the moment, I'm not even trying to get better, but I just don't know what to do

I don't think I want to recover yet - let alone that I would be able to right now - but I know that at some point I'll have to if I ever want to be more than I am right now

Could someone please give me some kind of advice 🥹

How I feel after 1 binge:

PoV: Tiktok knows you too well

So, I tend to make self-deprecating jokes (I try not to, but sometimes when I feel especially bad they do slip out a lot)

But when I was about to make one, my one friend just told me (I can't tell if she was annoyed or rather angry, to be honest) to "quit with these fucking jokes" and yeah. I get my friends are done with me, but that still almost made me cry

i think we forget ana is not the ‘currently deathly skinny disorder’ or even the ‘wants to get deathly skinny disorder’

sisyphus is just how having ana-bp feels lol

might be a bit over specific, but at the moment I like romanticise ⭐ving by pretending I'm just some cool guy commanding a space ship, classes are space ship school or something and I can't eat because I am infected by some alien parasite that'll eat me instead if I eat food... Or something.

Seriously, why am I like this