How I Feel After 1 Binge:

I fucking hate myself guys

It's the start of Easter break now and like any rational person I ditched all my plans and binged the first day and today as well

If I skip dinner and work out though I can probably do at least some kind of damage control (because I've eaten about 2000 calories now which is really fucking awful) and I can get my steps in as well... I'm just so disappointed in myself, because I was prepared for having my intake be a bit higher during the holidays, because sometimes when I have to eat with my family it just can't be avoided, but not like this, seriously

Anyway, looking forward I guess because I've already fucked shit up I can't change anyway 🥲

realizing that I can ALWAYS lock in, even if I'm 1000 cals deep in a binge I can put the food down and not make it 3000 everything makes a difference in the long run

STATS??

Well let's just say I'm not overweight but I'm quite definitely not underweight yet 😭 and so I don't feel comfortable sharing that until I've reached at least one gw sorry

hearing "masculine women are not attractive!!" from cishet men is so stupid. like ok bitch. more for me then.

One look in the mirror - and I mean a proper look, not just catching a glimpse of my reflection walking by, no, I mean fully inspecting my body for 5-10 minutes really gets me questioning everything, but it's one of the most motivating things ever, honestly.

First day at my Grandma's, and she moved her bathroom scale an now I can't find it :(

So now I'll have to go two days without weighing myself, and I can check my weight in three days after my Dad and I are home again... it's not an issue, I usually don't weigh myself everyday, either, it's just that I was planning to do it to keep myself accountable... Easter with my Grandma, a dangerous game food-wise

Can't decide if I actually wanna weigh myself again or not

Cuz I really don't want to get disappointed

the way I keep eating like a pig like wow goddamn bro do you even want to be skinny

Got logged out of my EA account today and I can't remember my passwords (plus the email address I used is inactive now). Guess even my computer thinks I should stop fucking procrastinating and WORK because there's literally nothing fun I can do anymore besides that now that I can't play Sims anymore (cuz it's too late for music and I have an injury that flares up sometimes and it's huuurts right now, so I can't even work out and my friend is not responding even though we wanted to call this evening)

"i'm so bored i don't know what to do!!!" i said with 4 homeworks to do, 11 school texts to copy, a test to study for, a new subject to memorize (i'll end up doing nothing)