Am I truly a bad person for wanting to just talk? I feel like I always am a bad person. Sometimes I wanna talk about current problems and other times I bring up my own past or other people's pasts. I try not to I just find myself doing it out of habit from always being stuck in MY past. I feel like if I ever want to talk to someone about how I feel that I am being to overbearing and putting to much on just one person, so then I just stop talking in general. I always get upset really easily too when something out of nowhere bothers me, like a simple little thought that just happens to pop into my head. I try not to let it out on other people but then I just get so overwhelmed that that I let it out on everyone who cares about me. Then I cry later because I think of sh!tty of a person I am for doing that to the people I love. What makes this all ten times worse it that I have Bipolar and I don't know how to control my emotions fully (I am working on it slowly) and it sucks because then it effects all of the relationships I have with people; whether that's a friendship, family relationship, or an actual relationship. It just sucks feeling like a bad person or the one who causes all the problems all the time.
“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!
THE REAPER AND ME.
When The Reaper came a calling,
I knew that I must stall him,
I must keep The Reaper talking,
Or with him I must go walking.
I offered him a drink,
Just to give me time to think,
And though his drink was spiced,
He said it was quite nice.
He got drowsy and so sleepy,
But he still looked pale and creepy,
And his voice was slurred and slow,
When he said it's time to go.
I offered him another one,
And I could see that he was having fun,
His scythe forgotten on the ground,
And his singing made an eerie sound.
Then he began a yawning,
As I was praying for the dawning,
I must keep him here till the sun was up,
So I offered him another drop.
He slept right through till past midday,
Then said we must be on our way,
Then I pulled the curtains and let in the light,
And The Reaper got an awful fright.
You tricked me fair, he said to me,
You have tricked your way from eternity,
And when night falls down I will leave alone,
And leave you living in your home.
But do you mind if I call sometime,
To share your whisky and your fine wine,
Because it was the best time I've ever had,
And you must surely see that I'm not that bad.
Now every month when the moon is full,
The Reaper calls when his work gets dull,
From dusk till dawn we sit and drink,
Then he falls asleep as the sky turns pink.
But his company sure wears me down,
And when drunk he looks like an evil clown,
And my suffering wife gets real upset,
Because our house just reeks and stinks of death.
@Ambrose Harte
@Scattered Thoughts
i need to be knocked out
to stop the delusions
that keep hurting me
realizing that you belong to someone
that isnt me
The pain is overwhelming and there's nothing I can do or take to stop it. Cutting myself isn't enough.
quote from Rosa, Rosa 🌹
“How many people have died to achieve this world domination of yours?” “769.” “…What?” “769 people died to achieve my plans. I counted them, and had each of their names etched on my throne so I never forget what my victory cost the world. Now tell me, how many have you killed to see me dead?”
Took a long time to register heh😅
We try to act fun to make the other person feel comfortable. But this doesn't work. We act the other way. Again this doesn’t work. Or any other way. If a person is not even an ounce of interested in you, even if you try a world of things, it won't work any good. This is how my balance gets disrupted. Never change to make people happy. You will suffer. Always be yourself