I'm Posting This On My Less Active Blog For My Sanity And Also For Maybe Less Attention It Something

Low key thinking I'm not ready for any relationship other than one with a therapist at this point. I need to get my shit together but y'know I have friends a boyfriend and a bunch of complicated feelings plus the burning want of affection. KMS istg.

s3xu@al assault really makes you feel like you’re only good for sex and sending nudes and that the only way to make things right with someone is letting them use your body huh hahahshhdbxnd

I am Dr. Imtithal, living in the besieged northern Gaza Strip. For 11 months, we have lost our lives. We have lost everything. I have lost my brother, my home, our money, our source of livelihood, my profession as a dentist, and all our memories. Our lives have become difficult. We cannot obtain the necessities of life, such as water, food, medicine, and shelter. We live a difficult life in a school as a shelter for us after we lost our home. We cannot obtain a clean life and we suffer from the spread of diseases. Every so often we are displaced. We cannot settle in a place because of the intensity of the bombing. I hope you can help me so that I can protect my family, which consists of 35 people, most of whom are children...

I don't know how to help, not can I because j have my own life issues to tend to but I will repost this so people can help.

I don't like him, so why am I jealous? He's not mine, why am I jealous? I am not single, why am I jealous? Fuck emotions.

I want to run away from everyone and everything and start new. I don't want to be burdened by this life. I want to be my own new thing. I want to be known by very few that already know me and I want to live in quiet solitude for awhile while I fix the mess I am in. Not isolated but not where I am. Just new. I need to be new in my own way.

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I have this strange yearning in my soul. Idk what it is or why I can't have it but I want it. I need it like the human body needs air and water. I'm starved, robbed, of it. It's hurting me, making me weak and pathetic. I want to carve my heart and make art with it to sooth my pain. I crave what I cannot have and I don't even know what it is.

Feelings and emotions are so abstract it feels like an illness to me. Only my emotions. I want them gone it would make life so much better. But I'd be so empty and dull. It's annoying. I want it dead, all of it, all of me. But not forever dead, just dead enough to reset. A reincarnation.

Someone make my brain normal pls

not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?

when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.

and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.

once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.

for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":

have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.