Please Please Please I Just Want To Fucking Kill Myself So Badly I Want To Bash My Head Against A Wall

tw vent tw sh related tw sui ideation tw self destruction tw self destructive behavior tw suicidality tw suicidal ideation tw sh ideation I wrote a thing about a week/two weeks ago that I was really excited to show someone and she keeps saying she'll read it but she never does I resent it to her earlier today with some edits and she said she's read it tonight but she hasn't and by this time she won't and she's just not responding to like. half of my messages and she ALSO said last week that she wanted to meet up today but yesterday she said she had work today so. I'm hurt she COMPLETELY forgot about me when she agreed to take the shift she's usually great she just cares about other shit right now and isn't thinking about me but like. I should've just killed myself by now but I'm fucking disgusting and I can't even cut because I'm pathetic but I'm NOT putting that on her because it's not her fault I'm like this