Tw Sh Related - Blog Posts

“Maybe I deserved to lose my wings, this pain is all I ever know…”

Mimi is a bat demon character of mine who lost their wings from a gang they were hunting for, they suffer terrible phantom pain and the wound aches so much that sometimes it makes them itch it which reopens it, they feel like they deserve this pain for the sinner thy are. Oh, how wrong they are.

Thinking about Himiko again....

tw!!!: mentions of self-harm

I've seen many artists drawing Toga with sh scars, and, while understanding where it came from, I still couldn't come to terms with the idea itself.

But now... What if these scars aren't only a manifestation of how Himiko couldn't accept her body and let out her pent-up emotions through pain, but also served a practical purpose?

Middle school Himiko grappling with her desire for blood. Drinking her own to avoid hurting others, which, while being a poor substitute, is her only solace?

Himiko, locked up in the bathroom of her so-perfect-so-plastic home, a box cutter at her feet, licking her bleeding wounds while tears are streaming down her cheeks and her trembling lips are curled up into a wobbly smile.

It's so painful, but it's the closest to feeling alive she has.

And Himiko can't bring herself to feel shame.

P. S. It goes perfectly with Himiko wearing her yellow cardigan (?), actually, the sleeves being so long that she has sweater paws. Like, not that Himiko would be ashamed of her scars, she would just hate that people would look at her with pity, so it'd be easier to cover them up.

With the League though... Not that they would pay that any mind. They literally have a walking scar that is Dabi and not like anyone pays attention, so yup, Himiko would become a bit more relaxed about her scars eventually. Maybe they'll even have that scar talk. That'd be cute.

Riding a Wave That Never Breaks

Manga spoilers and Dark themes

Sometimes you can’t escape your inner demons no matter how much time has passed. Four amazing years may pass, but that darkness is only one storm away.

Midoriya struggled a lot with depression growing up. Despite having a loving mother and a safe home environment, the torture he suffered through the day was too much.

Midoriya loved everything about the hero world and how he could escape into fantastic fantasies. He was constantly diving deep, imagining alternate universes where he was respected by his peers. Midoriya craved positive attention or for the hollow feeling inside him to vanish.

On the days Midoriya didn’t have school, he’d curl up in his bed and never move. Unless his mother sweetly called him for dinner or suggested some bonding time, the day was spent wasting away underneath a comforter.

Midoriya was lucky to have met Toshinori. The man gave Midoriya a sense of purpose that he had been missing. Toshinori saw something in Midoriya that Midoriya never saw in himself. It was like he was reborn, suddenly showered in affection, and given a list of things to do to better himself.

Midoriya trained his mind and body every day. Midoriya was eating healthy and filling meals three times a day. By the end of the day, Midoriya was ready to sleep. With getting proper sleep, intake of nutrients, and producing endorphins through intense training, Midoriya was feeling much better.

Despite the upward climb, there were times Midoriya gave into the gloom. He’d skip showering, not study, ignore the tangles in his hair, never change out his uniform at the end of the day, sleep the day away, not sleep at all, and a plethora of other things he did when things were getting bad.

Neglecting his needs was one thing, but he’d harm himself in more direct ways. He never thought much about it, simply seeing it as a way to relieve the tension in his head and the tightness in his chest. He did it in places he knew would never see the light of day.

In a short two years, Midoriya was seventeen and dealing with mountains of trauma he didn’t know how to digest. Midoriya was surrounded by people who brought out the best in him, but he could feel himself slipping.

“I’m not hungry, sorry.”

“I really needed to catch up on sleep.”

“Can we reschedule? I’m so sorry something came up.”

“Sorry, I’m a bit behind on my studies.”

“Maybe some other time?”

Midoriya slowly withdrew himself from his peers. With the door locked, lights off, and the silence of the soundproof walls made it easy for the sickening sweet voice in the back of his mind to grow louder.

“Was this all worth it?”

“You served your purpose, you aren’t needed anymore.”

“They probably are happy you aren’t around as much.”

“That sounds like so much work.”

“You really can’t amount to anything.”

“A lazy hero is good for nothing.”

With an empty stomach and an ache in his heart, Midoriya closed his eyes and slept the dark thoughts away. When an alarm broke him out of his nightmare, he slept through his usual morning run.

It didn’t take long for everyone to notice something was off. Todoroki, worried and unsure of what to do in this situation, practically fed Midoriya lunch, not giving him a chance to skip a meal. If he had to guilt-trip Midoriya into it he would.

“I got this just for you,” revealed Todoroki, extending out the warm bowl of katsudon.

Midoriya would softly smile, sitting next to his best friend and enjoying the warm meal. The perfect crunch of the breading and the juiciness of the pork nearly brought him to tears. It didn’t matter what meal it was, Midoriya would swallow every last bite to respect his friend's kindness.

Bakugo talked with Toshinori and Aizawa, knowing that they may no longer be Midoriya’s teachers, but they were parental figures. He knew something was wrong and this was bigger than him and his classmates. Aizawa and Toshinori weren’t constants in Midoriya’s life, but their value remained. Their assistance would mean so much more than the nineteen people who are constantly around him.

During the war, Midoriya never once reached out for help when he was working himself to death. If Midoriya was experiencing something that was troubling him or he couldn’t save himself from whatever he was going through, Bakugo would pull him out.

It seemed that Toshinori and Aizawa had a hunch that something like what was happening would happen soon enough. Aizawa knew very well that the trauma Midoriya refused to acknowledge would come back tenfold.

Toshinori knew the psychological damage he experienced over the years by dealing with his demons. Being the number one hero and having the entire world on his shoulders was a burden he wouldn’t wish on anyone. That’s why he originally gave Midoriya the quirk. He believed he was simply passing on a powerful quirk.

When it came out that All for One was not dead and that he had a successor, Toshinori felt guilt consume him. He put Midoriya in a situation far worse than the one he’d lived through.

Midoriya watched nearly all the people he cared about die and/or be on the brink of death. Midoriya watched thousands of innocent people die, unable to do anything. There was an evil far worse than any the world had seen before and Midoriya had to face it himself.

Midoriya had to shove all his emotions deep down as he was forced to see the corpse of someone he cherished dearly. Midoriya was a kid but wasn't in a position to handle the situation as one.

Midoriya was struggling with the trauma of the war and the pressure he was put under. Midoriya would forever be scarred from the responsibility placed in his hand. Yet, deep down, Midoriya was ashamed of the itch he had to be important.

There was this craving for chaos and the fight to the death. Suddenly nothing was going on and the feeling of worthlessness settled in. Midoriya didn't want innocent people to die again or for the world to be in danger, but he felt like something was missing without the danger.

The guilt of missing something so horrible killed him more than what he was put through. Maybe they were interconnected in some way but, in Midoriya's mind, wanting it to happen again was a different trauma response than his episode of depression.

Sometimes, Midoriya's brain filled itself with noise when the world was too quiet. The earth-shattering sounds of the battle and his scream mixing with the screams of the rest of the world would haunt him. The rare spots on his wall where there was no All Might merchandise, Midoriya's eyes would focus on the white wall and let the rest of his room fade away.

Midoriya could fall into a staring contest with his wall while standing, sitting, or lying down. There were no limits and he usually would catch himself doing it whenever he was in the security of his room. These moments of pure disassociation could last from anywhere of a couple of seconds to over an hour.

It was Saturday night and Bakugo was going to drag Midoriya down to study with the class. He figured surrounding him with everyone would help get him out of his head a bit. He always liked to think he knew Midoriya the best, but he didn't know the first thing to do to help Midoriya snap out of whatever mental decline he was trapped in.

"Izuku, I'm coming in," announced Bakugo, hand already turning the door handle.

Bakugo didn't think much about not receiving any response and opened the door. Midoriya was on his bed, lying on his side as he stared at his wall motionlessly.

"Nerd?"

Midoriya didn't seem to notice Bakugo or even signal he heard Bakugo address him. Bakugo started panicking, worried Midoriya was unresponsive. Bakugo started looking over Midoriya after dropping to his knees beside the bed.

"Shit, Izuku. Look at me!" begged Bakugo, reaching to check for a pulse. He cursed himself for not paying closer attention to Midoriya's health. It took seconds for Bakugo to feel the steady thumping of Midoriya's pulse under his fingers.

Midoriya blinked, feeling the warm touch and wanting to lean into it. His vision of the wall was blocked by Bakugo's worried expression and he couldn't help but feel like everything was okay for this split second in time.

Tears started falling and Midoriya couldn't find the strength in himself to stop. Midoriya let his whole body shake with each sob he let rip through his body. He hated feeling so hopeless and feeling stuck in such a horrible mindset. It was a scary feeling to have no control over.

Bakugo didn't need to hear anything to know that Midoriya needed him at that moment. Bakugo reached for Midoriya's hand and took it securely in his own before resting his forehead against Midoriya's. Rough and crooked fingers intertwined and squeezed soft and powerful fingers.

"I don't know what to do Kacchan," wept Midoriya, feeling safe to express himself.

Bakugo remained quiet momentarily before letting his gut do the talking. "You don't have to know what to do all the time. Sometimes life sucks and you have to let others make it less shitty."

Midoriya cried harder, pulling out his other hand to gently wrap it against Bakugo's wrist. "I can't do this anymore."

"And you don't have to. I'm here. If you can't handle burdens on your own, I'm here. Let me help, Izuku," stressed Bakugo, brushing Midoriya's bangs out of his forehead. "I'll be there to save you every time you need a hero."

Midoriya felt like the room was no longer caving in on him and that the world finally had air to spare. His grip on Bakugo momentarily tightened before he took a deep breath. There was something so incredible about Bakugo and how he never failed to be Midoriya's anchor. Bakugo never failed to reach his hand out to lift Midoriya out of the pit he was trapped in.

“Let’s go take a shower, grab you something to eat, and how about we go study? You don’t need to be alone and if you get overwhelmed we can ditch,” guided Bakugo as he removed his one hand from Midoriya’s bangs to poke his freckles.

Still feeling vulnerable, Midoriya let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, can you just stay here with me for a bit?”

Bakugo rose from his uncomfortable position and crashed beside Midoriya on his bed. “You could ask me to destroy the world and I’d do it.”

Midoriya smiled, feeling his cheeks heat up by the powerful confession. “You sure know how to make a boy feel special.”

“After existing in a world without you… I never wanted to experience it again.”

Midoriya suddenly realized he had something he could use to anchor himself down. He remembered seeing Bakugo lying in the crumbling field of injured heroes. He remembered the dread that filled him upon seeing the sickeningly beautiful sight of Bakugo’s peaceful resting expression. The crushing horror of seeing his unbreathing, bloodied body would forever haunt his dreams.

Why would he give up a life where Bakugo was right next to him?

“I never want to experience it either,” professed Midoriya, feeling a warmth fill his chest, seeing the scars that littered Bakugo’s body. Those scars were proof that this boy before him would always defy and twist fate to come back to him.

The downward spiral ended when he was forced to remember every wonderful thing he had to live for. He had to live for Bakugo, Todoroki, Uraraka, Eri, Aizawa, Toshinori, his mother, and the surplus of people whom he never wanted to live without.

Overcoming depression wasn’t easy and his recovery wasn’t going to be fast. There would be those moments when the exhaustion that filled him was too much or the pressure of outside expectations killed his appetite and kept him up at night. The battle was a lot easier being surrounded by people who never failed to bring a smile to his face.

Freshly cleaned and fed, Midoriya had his bookbag filled with unfinished homework and study guides. Bakugo was right next to him, wearing an accomplished grin as he plopped down next to Midoriya. The excited greetings of his classmates washed away any bits of anxiety that he may have had left.

“Ready to get this study game on?” questioned Kirishima happily upon seeing two of his best buds appear together.

“Yeah! I’ll admit I’m a bit behind,” admitted Midoriya meekly.

Iida seemed to not care about the fact that Midoriya got behind on schoolwork and smiled warmly. “Well let’s get you caught up!”

Midoriya eagerly nodded, feeling the buzz of his classmate's excitement rub off on him. They were all gathered together to study, but Midoriya couldn’t help but be overjoyed to be with them at that moment.

Things would be okay.

TW ed

Dont you just love it when your skinny to begin with and then you see a FUCKING CARTOON and want to relapse to look like it even though its physically impossible without being on the brink of death and the only thing you can do is force yourself to finish your dinner that was all ready extremely small cuz you cant handle normal food portions anymore

Cravings

I need to cut

I need to bleed

I can feel the sharp cold blade calling my name

My skin tingling with desire

TRIGGER WARNING:

fake bl0od :/

keep yourself safe plz plz plz

lmao

when i pick up something new and i'm not immediately better at it than more talented people who have been practicing for years

Hii ^~^ your art is very nice, 'specially your 2 weeks AU

I have a question if it's alright! How did Rudy end up in the ward? In canon, he doesn't tell his parents much about his current issues since he feels like a burden to them. I am wondering how your AU differs! What are the circumstances that led to Rudy being admitted?

Hi, thank you so much !!! ^_^

Tw for suicide and sh !!!

Basically, what happens is Rudy has a really bad breakdown that leads to him harming himself with the intention of dying (there are two drawings I have posted where he is sitting on the floor with a bloody nose , this is because he slams his face against the wall ^_^ )

he wanted to hide this from his parents but he pasted out from being so exhausted !!! So they found him on the floor lying in a pool of blood and they took him to the hospital

Rudy

2 Weeks Au

yeah basically the au is uhhhh instead of meeting at school, they all meet at a psychiatric hospital

sorry but I love baby cut scars it's cute ....well mine are (☆ denial ☆ )

It's a bit weird but I find cuts attractive.

♡♡♡

oh to have a flat stomach, small ribcage, better shoulders, thin face, bigger eyes, longer eyelashes, cuter lips, no beauty marks, better nose, better hair, naturally big dark eyes, smaller feet, longer legs, longer hair and more cuts ! ! ! !

I drew stars on my scars ☆☆☆

menhera/jirai can reblog doing the same thing

Got termed spent a few months off of tumblr binging, but I'm back and fatter than ever. I'm a minor so if that makes you uncomfortable then DNI. Ugw is 88lbs/39.9kg. Ed accounts please Interact!! 🤍

i think i believe in some kind if higher power, its not like, god, or anything like that. recently ive just been noticing that things are happening that align perfectly with my goals and my needs. like, at work, i had to do a job and i needed a certain number of things to do it and i grabbed the perfect amount first try?!?

(tw ed mentioned under cut)

or, like today, i was going to skip lunch but as i was leaving the house my friend asked me if i wanted some of the curry her mum made and its like. okay, maybe the universe wants me to eat today?!?

tw mentions of gore/sh

i used to have a really bad problem with watching gore as a form of self sabotage.. does watching horror movies count? i havent watched one in a while and im scared itll trigger me

tw: ed mentioned

met my younger self for coffee today...

she said, "we're still not skinny?"

"we've got something so much better than that, love"

draft poem i wrote the other day about self harn and dealing with urges

TW under the cut: sh (burning)

I need it, I crave the pops of the flesh against the almost frozen heat, the metal kissing my skin as flames send that familiar smell to my face. I hunger for the sting of relief. Each time I pull my hand away from something warm that voice in my head says "stay"

the hardest thing to cope with is that the scars might never fade, i accept them for the most part, because the people i care about love them as a part of me. but sometimes i struggle to understand that ill never feel safe leaving the house in a singlet.

CW - slightly suggestive under the cut

something that really helps is when my girlfriend kisses my scars or runs her fingers along them telling me shes proud of how far ive come or that im beautiful either way. that really really makes me smile and feel better

I don’t feel safe by myself </3

what the hell is a gore blog are people just reposting sh or something ??

make tumblr safe for the gore blogs again

when my parents find out I eated too many funny medicine candy (dad’s tramadol) and I had to go to the hospital but now the fun candy is locked up so I can’t eated more bc I’m upset rn:

Need a cut that’s so bad I bleed out and I die if I don’t go to the hospital (hypothetically)

Tips to get over the pain scare?

#

the urge, omg imma rock back and forth and cry, someone k1ll m3, i will pay you to do it

my man said he’s proud of me for not cvtting and said even if i do it’s okay because i’m trying but i reallyyyy don’t know what to do, i haven’t in a few days since i carved his name but i really want to, the urges are so strong but he’s gonna ask me why and a bunch of other shit (he’s studying psychology so he’s always on my ass” WHAT DO I DOOOO

stop y’all, i literally opened tumblr while on the school wifi and forgot they have certain things blocked and when i opened tumblr it showed the “this is usually your dashboard” SHIT AND I GOT SO SCAREDDDD