I Feel Like Shit - Blog Posts

I do not whant to be me, I feel wrong. And people tell me im wrong so the must be right...

im like 99% sure im sick and have been feeling like shit so i got to go home early at like 12 something am, i binged like crazy and i feel 20x worse but i can at least ⭐rve myself since my parents r gunna think its only cs im sick..

can someone explain to me WHY i crave alcohol even though im not an alcoholic and have only had extremely small sips that were soon spat out???

my responsibilities as a tumblr artist outweigh my physical illness

Preach all you want but who's gonna save me?

my scars fading<<<<

having more space to cut>>>>

why cant ppl js leave me alone

Vent

oh yeah, today's been great, definitely didn't relapse. definitely didn't nearly have a panic attack because I thought blood was dripping down my arm in lesson. definitely didn't keep walking into the guy who made s*x jokes about me for half a year last year. definitely not getting angry and overwhelmed by everything and getting yelled at by my parnsst to sort my attitude out.

i think im feeling it now

jst like u do

i feel like i'm probably chronically ill in some way, since i can't remember the last time i didn't feel like shit, but my doctor said i wasn't anemic because i've apparently got a "healthy colour", therefore my parent don't care anymore, so i guess this is another thing i can deal with later.

Distancing yourself from your friends so it will hurt less when they inevitably leave you <<<<

hi 💕

-piss anon

I love you. This made my a day a bit better.

My nightmares making my life miserable, I cannot speak. The house is silent, cause the screams of agony die on my lips.

You know that feeling you get when you unfollow someone that you really like and then got the ick from ONE-just one-post?

How tf do you make it go away😭😭😭😭

It's not like I hate them,but for some reason I can't stand seeing their posts,it makes me want to draw a picture and then read angsty fics written by my favourite author.

Liar.

Be aware I am the one

And a ____ person too!

I can't I don't want to do it!

How many more days to live?

You don't know shame until you are almost crying in Millennium Park because of your body not being able to keep up with the people you are with.

I fucking hate my body.

God, please take my migraine and depression, double it, and throw it at Wallace Larson

Looptale

[So, I don't know if anyone has done this, but I have an idea for an AU.]

Looptale.

Sans watches the sunset, mildly bored.

He's also terrified. The kid's going to reset right.... About....

"SANS! WAKE UP! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SENTRY DUTY!"

Sans groans and sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyesockets. They did it again. He was going to KILL them. Just when he thought he would finally get his happy ending.

No, THEIR happy ending.

Sans could never be happy, even if they were freed. All those memories. All those genocide runs.

They would haunt him until he dusted.

Frisk keeps taking it away from all of them. Of course, the others don't remember, but he does.

Every.

Single.

Timeline.

Nothing he does matters. The world revolves around the kid.

He's seen at least a thousand of those sunsets.

He gave up counting at 78.

After all, nothing he does will have any impact. The kid could just reset.

"SANS, GET DOWN HERE OR I'M COMING UP TO GET YOU!"

Papyrus.

He's seen Papyrus die more times than the sunset. It kills him inside, every day. He can't even look at his younger brother without seeing him turn to dust.

Papyrus starts stomping up the stairs, his footsteps sending tremors through the house. Sans' bedroom door suddenly slams open, revealing a lanky skeleton in a superhero outfit.

"COME ON, SANS! DON'T BE A LAZY BONES!" Papyrus exclaims, picking up Sans like he would a fold up chair.

"mmmm" Sans groaned, trying to pretend he'd actually been sleeping for the past eight hours.

"Five more minutes, bro. You know I like to sleep in ulna time."

"UGH!" Papyrus whined, stamping his foot. "SANS! IT'S TOO EARLY FOR PUNS. CAN'T YOU GIVE THEM A REST? "

"c'mon paps. i've got a femur, and i promise they've gotten better. "

Papyrus let out a sound that sounded like a cross between a scream, whine, and annoyed groan.

Sans smiled as Papyrus marched them both down the stairs and out of their house into Snowdin. That was less walking he had to do.

The sound of snow crunching beneath his brother's shoe was relaxing enough to let him drift in and out of consciousness as Papyrus starts his trek towards Sans' sentry station. 

                                                         ---     

Papyrus sets his older brother down into the snow, and watches as he topples over and sinks into the icy ground.

“bro!” Sans squeals as he is enveloped in freezing cold snow.

“snow need to be so cold!”

 Papyrus stamps his foot, irritated.

“UGH. BROTHER, I HAVE TO GO RECALIBRATE MY PUZZLES. DON’T FALL ASLEEP IN MY ABSENCE.”

“alright. i guess icy you later then.”

Sans’ mouth turns up at the corners as Papyrus stomps off, apparently extremely upset with him. Sans was satsfied, after all, he’d be able to speak with the kid. 

A L O N E.

As if on cue, he spots the child nervously making their way forward. They should be nervous, after all, they have to know something’s up if Sans doesn’t even bother following them.

Their choppy brown hair sways in the non-existent wind as their boots sink into the thick, white snow, snowflakes staining their pink-and-blue striped sweater.

Sans turns around very slowly, addressing the 12 year old.

“f r i s k.”

[End of chapter one.]

hi so I did just ghost a girl bc I think she has a gf, which she OBVIOUSLY didn't tell me, so now I'm really sad bc I was super into her. That's my life, incase anyone was wondering !! 😋🔫

Today I had a shitty day!!! At least I feel like shit right now :'(

I know no one cares about my day, but I feel awful and really need to let it out.

So today I woke up like every morning, got dressed and had a cup of coffee. It was supposed that today I had to go to reinscript myself to my Japanese course, so we (my mom, sister and I) left early and when there. This schools opens 7 a.m., but starts attending students until 9, and we arrived at 9:45. At first the woman who attended us, told us tjat we needed to wait there until the Teacher (still I don't know what teacher she was talking about) authorized my reinscription. We waited 1 hour, then my mom and sister left, mom got a called from her job so I told her I'll wait until they authorize it. I WAITED THERE UNTIL 1 p.m.!!! In those 3 hours I kept asking "Not yet?" And she started answered:

Sorry not yet, it won't take much longer. He is reading the message.

No, but it's configuring.

No, but you have until 4 p.m., no wait... it's 1:30, to check in.

No. Maybe you could come back tomorrow.

You should come back tomorrow, your goup it's still open.

What the hell ma'm?!?!

I mean how you can go from "wait a little longer" to "Come back tomorrow"??? GOD! I didn't went to the bathroom in all that time and, not only I was peeing, but also, I was starving because I didn't had breakfast.

Fine. Tomorrow I'll try again.

Then I arrived home (before this we went tto buy pizza and I went to the bathroom)and the workers where there, you see my house is pretty old and my ceiling gas some leaks so theres people fixing them, so there was some annoying noises I wasn't in the mood to tolerate, we aet and mom went back to work.

She came back until 4:30, I guess. But I was so annoyed by the noise that I decided to take a nap until 6, at time we would leasve to my Japanese classes, even though I am still not signed in, because logic. I arrived to my class and there was as blackout in the entire school. Bad thing number one. Then I realised I forgot my dinner lunch in the car. NUMBER TWO. Then the teacher put us an exam, wich I couldn't answer correctly, My mind got blank, I started to remembered some things but I couldn't completely remember kanjis. After we finished the test, we immediately started checking. In the end I didn't made a bad job. This 2 things weren't that bad, what really bad happened was that:

First of all my mom went to aa meeting and if she was going to pick me up it will be in the moment she told: Hey, I'm here. So I was worried, she gets angry if I'm not in time. And second, because my mind was worrying I got completely distracted and forgot my pencil case in the classroom. This wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't a public school were students take and never return whatever t they find. AND I WOULDN'T BE SO MAD AND SAD IF MY DRAWING PENCILS AND MATERIAL WEREN'T IN THAT PENCIL CASE. I'm just about to enter to arts university and My family doesn't have that much money to buy me new ones and I feel like trash because I forgot them... How could I? I'm Stupid, untidy and distracted. So silly of me, and I'm not writing this for you to feel sorry about me. It's because I need to let it out of my system, because tomorrow it's going to be a new day, right? Ineed to get up early and take out my dog for a walk and then go back to the school to sign me up and look for my pencil case. Hope to find it. I hope for the best.

By the way the only way I managed to finish my day was my sister and cat. My sister listened to me and gave me a big hug and my cat heard me crying in the bathroom and came to me, got over my knees sat in my lap and started purring. I couldn't believe it!!!

He is the best.

Even though sometimes he is just in cat mood and bite and scratch you.

Thank you for whoever read this to the end. I know there are worst things above what happened to me. But... Maybe someone who lived a similar situation feels bad about it and doesn't have someone to talk to, like me. So I really appreciate you for reading all this. Amd if you ever feel like bad and want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. Message me if you want I'm all ears.

Have a great night/day.😘😗😙😚

Love, Ihanna.