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someone please see i’m struggling and be gentle to me!!! wipe the blood from my skin, hold me, kiss me, comfort me until i feel like something, until i feel like i’m worth existing

I hate everything right now. It feels like my body was made to hold fat. I can’t lose anything anymore. I’m literally so done.

Things have been a bit hectic here lately, so I think I can manage a water fast hopefully!

I feel so gross, I need to cleanse myself somehow.

TW RANT AB MY MOM

Ik I might sound crazy but I want my mom to worry. I want her to feel bad for not realizing the pain I was going through, how bad I’ve been getting. I want her to know that every time she ever said something about me being a bad person it didn’t just affect her, but me too. She thinks that it’s all about her because of her addiction, but I want her to know that she isn’t the only one with problems. She is always going on about her stuff, how much her recovery has changed her, don’t get me wrong I’m really proud of her but it’s like since she has recovered she hates me sm, like whenever she was drinking she would tell me how much she loved me, how special I was, but now that she’s been recovered she can’t even speak without saying something remotely rude about my existence. I want to be the girl she thought I was. I think that If I get bad enough she will start to worry and maybe care again? Idk I’m crazy but whoever made it this far, thanks for listening.

my man said he’s proud of me for not cvtting and said even if i do it’s okay because i’m trying but i reallyyyy don’t know what to do, i haven’t in a few days since i carved his name but i really want to, the urges are so strong but he’s gonna ask me why and a bunch of other shit (he’s studying psychology so he’s always on my ass” WHAT DO I DOOOO

i’m just scared i’m gonna get t worded again

i love all my girly pop moots except the only exception is @styro--boy

what is your favorite song, and also what is your favorite hobby to keep your mind busy? :D

ooo my favorite song would have to be “Someone Somewhere Somehow” by Super Whatevr

my favorite hobbies would have to be ice skating, talking to my man, and calling my friends

how was your day today??

my day was actually very shitty, i went to court, cried, did the ice bucket challenge, argued with my father, cried more, cried, called my man (😍), aaannnddd here we are. the highlight was definitely calling my man, thank you for askinggg

okay so my man wants me to stop cvvtting BUT IT TVRNS HIM 0N SO WHY WOULD I STOPPPP UGHHHH IM HAVING A DILEMMA

i was tryna cvt and my dad knocked on my door asking if we can talk cause we just had a really big fight. i hate getting interrupted istg

this is a little reveal i guess?? not necessarily a face reveal since you can’t see it but you get the idea <3

plz don’t be meannnn

do you got that dawg in you

i do got that dawg in me 🐺🐺🐺

update, i went with my parents and my father lied saying i’m lazy and it’s because of my phone that i don’t go AND said i ran away which is also a lie (he kicked me out) like mf that’s not true. but i have court ordered therapy because they hate me and are trying to take away my personality but when it was over when i was leaving the place my mom pulled me aside to talk abt smth and i started bawling my eyes out because he wasn’t believing me and was believing my father and basically just told me to and i quote “get your ass to school” like mfff

why are you going to court tomorrow (here because your post)

i have to go to court for truancy, i never go to school 😭

oopsiessss

i’m so scared, i have to go to court tmr for truancy.

wish me luck