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Cvtblr - Blog Posts
Late Night
It’s 10:15 at night, I still can’t sleep
I can’t sleep, because it hurts
Everything hurts.
It’s another late night of gripping my arm
Another late night of pushing my arm
Pushing it until I can’t feel the fresh cuts that burn Pretending that nothing is wrong with me.
I really want to cvt, how many should i do, I'm interested in how many everyone else is like doing on a normal day
i cut myself with a dr pepper can
i cut myself with a doctor pepper can/ so funny
hhahahaahheehehheehahhahahahaa dr pepper ahhaha
TW: (un-diagnosed) hypersexual thoughts
the sick feeling when those thoughts come into my mind. but I'm not diagnosed, so for now I'm js h0rny, even though im demi-sexual and not h0rny
OKAY. where do ppl in England who are younger than 16 get blades from?
apparently everyone irl thinks it's my hobby to be ignored. especially my family
moving house soon, I'll finally have my own room and I can cut as much as I like at night, what are my parents gonna do? watch me sleep? nu-uh.
im never opening up to my mum fully, because how am I meant to to tell the woman who gave me life, that I don't want it anymore
TW VENT
So basically, I'm js gonna start from the beginning. this Wednesday that js went I came home from school put the kettle on to make tea blah blah blah, but then I look round and fucking see MY SCISSORS AND PLASTER BOX. so then I'm panicking, feeling violently sick and i go up stairs, cry little, wash my face. my mum tells me to do my hw and just sits in front of me the whole time and then I go to put everything away and leave but she fucking tells me to stay and talks to me abt how my sister burst into tears the other day in class because I told her my intrusive thought abt cutting my neck (I'm an idiot ik) but I even told her it was an INTRUSIVE THOUGHT. so yeah. and then she was asking if I want to die, I lied obviously. then she started guilt tripping me, so basically my friend had cancer (she's not anymore) and my mum asked me if my friend knew, I said yes and she was like, "imagine how she feels, she's been fighting for her life, and you've been damaging yours!". I mean, fair enough, but GOD. yeah. I'm gonna kms, oh wait no I can't. they've taken everything from me and apparently have been looking in my "secret" place for *months* now.
hahahaha, I'm doing great 👍
love how I post this and then instantly the next day relapse
my scars fading<<<<
having more space to cut>>>>
why cant ppl js leave me alone
Vent
oh yeah, today's been great, definitely didn't relapse. definitely didn't nearly have a panic attack because I thought blood was dripping down my arm in lesson. definitely didn't keep walking into the guy who made s*x jokes about me for half a year last year. definitely not getting angry and overwhelmed by everything and getting yelled at by my parnsst to sort my attitude out.
wish I could be happy all the time and not just when I'm with my gf or something is genuinely funny
need to have an excuse
one like = one cut
whats wrong with me cutting myself? like I know its bad and people don't like it when I do. but seriously, I don't see the problem
ever just zone out and start questioning everything??? keeps happening recently, stressing me out slightly.
the urge to cut is so strong but my parents are always coming into my room after I've been up there for like 10 minutes since I gave them a letter explaining everything. I'm such a hypocrite but still
sfx makeup
not real
i just like to do super realistic makeup
last warning
i’ve been clean for over 2 months and promised my bsf i wouldn’t do it again…
but i was so triggered today i just had to.
ik i’m an ana blog so this post is a bit off-brand for me but i js thought my cvts looked kinda cool tdy
the hardest thing to cope with is that the scars might never fade, i accept them for the most part, because the people i care about love them as a part of me. but sometimes i struggle to understand that ill never feel safe leaving the house in a singlet.
CW - slightly suggestive under the cut
something that really helps is when my girlfriend kisses my scars or runs her fingers along them telling me shes proud of how far ive come or that im beautiful either way. that really really makes me smile and feel better
Intro post
Hi everyone! My name is Archie and this my intro post!
What will my blog contain?
Recovery tips for @namia, $h, ptsd/c-ptsd, depression and anxiety
Joyful moments, pretty things, achievements of myself and my peers
Poetry, photography and other art I or my loved ones make (mostly about mental health)
My struggles in recovery and how I pushed past them
Love and positivity
DNI : I don't have any dnis really, dont be an asshole or a pedo, over 18 can interact with my posts but please dont dm me anything weird
(tl;dr under the cut)
Every time I open social media im greeted with something horrible. I want to make this account to spread light to the people in the dark like I was for so long. Not everyone is as lucky as me, I have incredible support networks that i will be forever grateful for. I'm going to post recovery tips, joyful moments, my struggles with recovery and how I am overcoming them. I aim to pour my heart and soul into this project as a gift to myself and other people who are still struggling like i once did. I have learned and grown so so much over the past few years and I'm still working on bettering myself but the internet can be a scary place and i want to make it just that tiny bit better.