Im Like 99% Sure Im Sick And Have Been Feeling Like Shit So I Got To Go Home Early At Like 12 Something

despretely in need of an almond mom, i geniunely cant do this shit alone i swear

Sensitive topic!

TW: svc1d3, mention of 0v3rd0s3, 4lch0h0l p0¡s¡0n¡ng, and s3lf h4rm as well as other issues, please read at your own risk.

basically, I probably won’t be active anymore, I’m planning on km$ today, sometime during the night. I’ve had a cranky shitty 4ss life. I don’t look forward to anything anymore and I feel like absolute shit. I’ve got everything ready, the letters, all that bs. The only thing I want for now is the final step. No quote can turn my the cogs in my brain, no kind of guilt will convince me otherwise. This has been the only thing I look forward too. And I truly, entirely cannot fathom how much I desire the mere suggestion of d34th. I feel as if my whole world lights up. And for once, as soon I take the final step, one final push, I will feel like a true free bird. Of course, I’ve always wanted to at least have some fun before I d¡3, I plan on dr¡nk¡ng down the p¡11s I’ll take, I used to just merely cvt myself yet the pleasure of bl00d flowing out is no longer enough.

goodbye cruel world, sincerely, everyx.

can someone explain to me WHY i crave alcohol even though im not an alcoholic and have only had extremely small sips that were soon spat out???

a SINGLE crumb or two of (bland) rice cake entered my stomach because my father forced me to eat SOMETHING and now I feel like shit! Like I know it’s less then 4 calories for a crumb or two but still..

The BIGGEST motivator i currently have is the fact that my bio-mom used to be a MODEL!? You (unfortunately) can’t find her on the internet.

this being on my diet coke, the only thing i got from subway, is hilarious. thanks for the motivation <3

atp im finna need a non-p3d0 coach becuase ive been having SUCH bad binge episodes its not even funny anymore

How long have you been pvrg1ng?How often? What did you come to? What triggered you todo so?

Do you remember how was your first time?

I honestly cant remember, but I’d estimate about 2 or so months. My first time pvrg1ng was really weird, and felt disgusting af. But I got over it because ive intentionally thrown up b4 to get home from skl.

what triggered my pvrg3 was a really bad binge and I felt such immense guilt I couldnt bear it. And after that I started doing it way more often because I felt so empty and even lost weight after pvrg1ng

im gonna go insane i was f4sting like the best damn 4na and went down 2kg in js a couple days but now im in a cycle of f4sting then b1ng1ng and then f4sting GOD atp only those 4na gcs with super strict rules or h3ll even a damn coach

sighs in im sick of binging, purging, binging, chilling, purging, and then chilling all day. I can still Taste the throw up in my throat. Yuck.