Sensitive Topic!
Sensitive topic!
TW: svc1d3, mention of 0v3rd0s3, 4lch0h0l p0¡s¡0n¡ng, and s3lf h4rm as well as other issues, please read at your own risk.
basically, I probably won’t be active anymore, I’m planning on km$ today, sometime during the night. I’ve had a cranky shitty 4ss life. I don’t look forward to anything anymore and I feel like absolute shit. I’ve got everything ready, the letters, all that bs. The only thing I want for now is the final step. No quote can turn my the cogs in my brain, no kind of guilt will convince me otherwise. This has been the only thing I look forward too. And I truly, entirely cannot fathom how much I desire the mere suggestion of d34th. I feel as if my whole world lights up. And for once, as soon I take the final step, one final push, I will feel like a true free bird. Of course, I’ve always wanted to at least have some fun before I d¡3, I plan on dr¡nk¡ng down the p¡11s I’ll take, I used to just merely cvt myself yet the pleasure of bl00d flowing out is no longer enough.
goodbye cruel world, sincerely, everyx.
More Posts from Est4s and Others
I going to cry i wanna finish my steps but I'm so tired and i feel the binge coming, I'm so frustrated
that damn period always ruin my days
hunger just feels so right
can someone PLEASE give me ways to make myself sick QUICK, ive been feeling like shit but I’m scared that I’m actually not sick and just over exaggerating it, so I want to get worse since I’m going 2 the doctor tomorrow..
How long have you been pvrg1ng?How often? What did you come to? What triggered you todo so?
Do you remember how was your first time?
I honestly cant remember, but I’d estimate about 2 or so months. My first time pvrg1ng was really weird, and felt disgusting af. But I got over it because ive intentionally thrown up b4 to get home from skl.
what triggered my pvrg3 was a really bad binge and I felt such immense guilt I couldnt bear it. And after that I started doing it way more often because I felt so empty and even lost weight after pvrg1ng
atp im finna need a non-p3d0 coach becuase ive been having SUCH bad binge episodes its not even funny anymore
went to the doctors and found out I may or may not have a VIRUS!!! And god oh god knows how long I’ve had it, hopefully it’s one that’ll eat all my disgusting fat off!!!! DATTEBAYO!!! (I’m going insane)
yesterday morning i was making a healthy low cal breakfest (like 140 calories) and my dad praised me and even took a picture of me...i have never been happier, like yessss, unkowingly support my ed!!!
a SINGLE crumb or two of (bland) rice cake entered my stomach because my father forced me to eat SOMETHING and now I feel like shit! Like I know it’s less then 4 calories for a crumb or two but still..
considering this for the rest of february or march
what if i only ate an apple a day for the whole of January
Triggering movies/shows to watch
Movies:
•to the bone
•Starving In Suburbia
•Perfect Body
•Little Miss Perfect
•For The Love of Nancy
•When Friendship Kills
•The Best Little Girl In The World
•Thin (Documentary)
•Hunger Point
•A Secret Between Friends
•The brief life of Catherine
•black swan
•The Secret Life of Mary Margare
Shows:
•skins (uk)
•Flesh and Bone the TV show
•secret eaters
•any Victoria secret model walk shows (2000s)
•super size vs super skinny
•1000 lbs sisters
•my 600 lbs life
•Too F@t for Love
•F@t Families
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