Landmine Boy - Blog Posts

when i pick up something new and i'm not immediately better at it than more talented people who have been practicing for years

Chat … is it weird or wrong if I prefer to be referred to and treated as a fictional character??

Like … I LOVE the idea of getting fanart. And headcanons. And horrifically mischaracterised blog theories on here. And people kinning me. And people making edits. And people having merch of me.

Plus I HATE acknowledging that I’m real. I HATE IT!!

If I were spoken to face to face about me as a character maybe I’d be treated as like a developer or author of sorts??

STOP REPORTING JIRAI ACCOUNTS. YOU’RE DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD.

do you actually think that reporting mentally ill ppl’s safe spaces helps them in any way? do you think your some sort of saint by doing so? think it makes a difference?

NO. IT DOESN’T.

you’re the one who causes us most pain. causing us to lose the one place where we can be ourselves without the fear of judgement.

most of us don’t have a space like this irl. most of us don’t have friends to confide in, or a therapist to talk to. most of us don’t even have parents who love us.

so if you’re not actually gonna do smth abt our pain, then don’t pretend you care by taking away the one space were we feel comfortable.

I got bloomers... I can wear dark girly without much dysphoria now hehehe <3 feel so jirai danshi

Hey, jirais that gets jealous of other people's trauma because you feel yours isn't valid in comparison and constantly questions if it was really "that bad", your trauma is valid.

Maybe you can’t let it go because you know I genuinely care and I’m working on it.

You know that I’ll get better

You know I’ll never do it again

hey don't worry about that dumb coinflip post irls ok I've just removed the part of me who thinks about that and it won't come back.

Ik you wouldn't want me to get hurt so i wont. This doesnt just apply to you btw it applies to them and anyone else who might be looking out for me.

And if it seems like im only getting better for your sake, you should know I'm getting better for myself as well as everyone else. even if you didn't worry about me i'll still improve

I'm in a really good place right now and now I just need to wait it out because I'm sure you need more time.

ngl talking with my brothers brought me so much clarity about my life.

I'm lucky to have what I have now.

I won't take the easy way out, because I promised I wouldn't.

i just need to sleep properly, I'll be a little better in the morning.

I've been getting better every day, I just had a bit of a doom mindset tonight.

Won't happen again though.

oh right i forgot to update.

My friend convinced me to eat tonight so I ate like 2 servings of dinner and i think i'll wake up early so i can eat tomorrow properly

I think I'll bring some snacks too because I don't want anyone trying to give me food...

shoutout to my friend for convincing me to eat btw. he's a real one.

ykw nah I'll take fate in my own hands for once. I don't need a coinflip

I'm happy with just waiting for things to play out.

Talking with my brothers kinda fixed my mindset for now so I'll be okay for a while.

fighting for my will to live rn

on the upside I got more VA work and my grades are decent and my brothers are talking to me more

on the downside i ruined my relationship and friendships, i constantly feel like crying, i still haven't even had a chance to stop and process my recent trauma, and these fucking wings wont go away or stop hurting. At least last time they started hurting they were my normal ones. these ones feel different and idk if this is a new kintype or something since I have felt this before but I REALLY don't need this rn especially with everyone around me.

ugh maybe ill leave it up to a coinflip like the last hard decision i made

I don't need a coinflip actually I control my own fate

hii :D what are you up to?!

nothing really right now!

I was about to go and bed rot because I have nothing else to do but I think I'll exercise before that :D

and yet i would have shoved it at you and ran away because regardless i want you to be alright

ill be fine, i already found ways to be okay.

focus on yourself right now. please.

you're the one who needs support, and i hope you're getting enough from everyone.

the reason i've been running away from you is because i hate seeing how you look at me these days.

i hope that soon, you'll be able to look at me normally again.

i would’ve given you some food if i knew you didn’t have enough. i always have extra

i wouldn't have taken it. ive already taken enough from you.

i appreciate you wanting to help me but i encourage you to wait until you think i've gotten better to try helping.

theres no use in trying to help me if you don't think im changing

im sorry i couldnt face you at all today

don’t be sorry

i won't ever stop apologizing for this

don’t feel too bad. at least i can flex my invulnerability to having my arm twisted like a motorcycle handlebar

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im srry

someone please send me asks or something ive had next to no interaction with anyone today including my mother.

the closest thing i had to a conversation today was being thanked for doing all the work on a group project, and the several times i apologized quietly as i ran away from someone while trying not to throw up out of guilt

I have yet again been encouraged to stay out of the public eye and keep to myself at school.

So… I didn’t eat again today. I know I said I would but I genuinely didn’t have time this morning and I’m out of money to buy lunch.

I’ll eat something at dinner time I promise

God at this rate I’m gonna be more malnourished then that glowing russian twink/ref

She’s… letting me design the angel.

I mean the design part isn’t the problem.

Most of my old OCs are angels anyway. Not sure what that says about me, I’m a little confused these days.

The hard part is going to be drawing it while I still feel my wings…

It’ll just feel wrong…

I should eat… but I can’t eat anything for another few hours or my mom will know I’m not sleeping again…

I haven’t digested anything other then a handful of snacks in the last 48 hours because i lose my breakfast whenever i take my meds, I don’t get lunch money anymore, and I can’t bring myself to eat dinner for some reason.

Update time!

I ended up taking the role!

I am now the proud voice of Noxiel the Angel! No idea what’s in store for him, but I can’t wait to find out.

This is going to be interesting to say the least!

it’s okay usually followers get a mix of whoever they’re following so it’s not just on person who they see posts! if you have any questions let me know

Alright! Thanks! :)

Huh… this is weird…

So good news, I finally got re-hired by one of my old bosses. I love voice acting and this boss treats me well unlike my other one.

Bad news. I got hired late because I hesitated. Open roles are pretty scarce right now.

It’s going to be so damn weird voicing an angel.

Especially since I’m a demon.

Should I take an angel role or turn down the job idk what to do?

never apologize for the blog spam it’s your blog :D!!!

Thanks I just don’t wanna flood my followers feeds or whatever (I’m new to tumblr 😭)

Sorry for the blogspam tonight chat life’s a rollercoaster and I’m just figuring out how to steer

MY BROTHER JUST CASUALLY DROPPED THAT HE READS WEBTOONS TOO AND HE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY "Oh yeah [redacted] you would know something about webtoon wouldnt you"

...YOU READ WEBTOONS?? ...ALSO HEY WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??

thank god.

thanks, brothers for talking to me about life stuff.

I promise if things don't work out in the next few years I'll move home and we can rentshare. I'd rather rentshare with you then with D anyway!

my brothers are awesome. They don't support every one of my decisions but they know it's okay to make mistakes.

my brothers have been with me since i stopped simply surviving and actually started living, and i only have them to thank for that.

that said, I'm not leaving this city anytime soon. I have lots to do here still and I'm not leaving anyone behind on a bad note.

I'll never take the easy way out :)

make sure to think about them too, not just me

i don't think they'd want any parallels either...

sorry if thats not what you meant im crashing out and dealing with social interaction at the same time rn so idk what you really mean