Wife's Not Working Yk What That Means

Hi so I have a friend and we call each other wife a lot and talk about people we think are pretty including each other and also also today I referred to her as "my friend who is a girl" and she replied "nuh uh I'm your girlfriend" how do I know if she likes me

I have decided to never go out again I was at my friend's house and I got lost trying to get there and then I was really awkward while trying to help set up her online classes and eventually she handed me my jacket because she had to get dressed to see a movie and I want to curl up in bed she was literally so nice though we were talking about atsushi and akutagawa mimicking each other in the like death things?? after we sorted out her computer

I need to put a shelf up on my wall but for now the only part of my bookshelf with enough space for my picture frame is subsequently also the one where I have all my 'children's books' so you can bet your socks that there is now hatsune miku fanart next to my collection of horrible histories

I got hot water directly from the tap in my eye it burs so much

and now I'm sat in my bathroom crying via candle light oh my

Why is he holding eyes and are they, perchance, blue?

He who holds the orb holds it

I bought the fifteen light novel a while ago (I still need to finish reading it because things happened and I got distracted) but when I was reading that scene in I think chapter one? Where its dazai and mori talking, I must have missed a word while going reading it because I thought it said dazai was his illegitimate son and I've never been more confused for a few moments ;-; I had to read the sentence again to realise it said he was not his son

Arguing with bro and panicking because I'm losing (I effectively stopped all further confrontation by asking if they're anemic mid fight)

The urge to talk with, like, a really victorian sounding vocabulary, and the desire to talk exclusively with um modern?? terms are both within me and they're fighting with swords right now. Most of the time this results in me sounding like a vampire who's been alive since the 1800's and eventually stopped trying to sort out the current slang and now says stuff like "you engaged in amorous congress, my dear bro? That's utterly awesome sauce!" Via text and I think I have to accept that

I need to stop flirting with my friend oh my

She's giving me standards that I'm afraid no-one else shall fulfil and I

What do I do help me help me

Our texts are so unhinged but I

I don't think it's a joke anymore

Ffffuuuuccckkkk

Said in a singsong voice

I think I like women but also I like men but I don't really want engage in amorous congress with a lady but gentlemen have such frightening personalities?? I don't know can somebody please help me with this because I honestly want to hug this one girl I know and gently kiss her but also I like guys too but as I said I don't really want to freak women? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa